Tuesday, October 24, 2017

The Innocents Review

note; i'm innocent of good spelling... kinda
the innocents
this is my review on da innasentz (60s ver)
its based on a play or book or w/e called "the turn of the screw"
that sounds like a p0rn0 or Yugioh card
its widescreen
like half da screen iz blak barz
during da credits it shows names on 1 side and hads on the left
its made in England
the hands are of a chick saying she wants to save kids, not destroy em
sounds like a dr
except in some countries they let you put kids to sleep
then we see a flashback I think of her being interviewed for a gig of looking after 2 kids
oh its their uncle interviewing her
he sez da kids need love
and he cant do it so she must be 100% responsible
the last caretaker bit it and the kids miss her
later she goes to the kids place and talks to the little girl named flora(like the winx club chick?)
later they have tea (not a tea ceremony like the samurai) and flora sez her bro is at school
his name is miles (like miles tails prowler rom sonic?) (better than that malcontent miles from degrassi)
flora wants the main chick to stay
also this brit hag maid works there
then they game 1 kid a bath
its flora
but we don't see anything
later main chick walks flora to her bedroom and flora sez she anted to sleep in everal rooms at once
well, if they chopped her up...
the hag was disturbed by the idea
flora wants to sleep in bed with her pet tortoise but main chick sez she's crush it
they hear a noise but flora sez da hag sed to ignore it
later flora looks out an open window with a breeze and hums
is she summoning something?
then its day and sunny
main chick gets paper email and her and flora read em
I letter disturbs the main chick
flora watches a spider eating a butterfly
I too like seeing bugs fight
once I saw a footlong centipede facing a Japanese death hornet
bad a55
so the letter sez miles was kicked outta school
so he's more like degrassi miles than sonic miles
later miles comes by and seems nice
just wait til the OTHER miles comes out
like in yugioh how the OTHER yugi goes around killing people
lol the hags name is; mrs grose
as in; GROSS! hes got the AIDS everywhere!
at night miles wants to lay awake thinking
I do dat too
but main chick sez its a bad habbit
get aids b--ch! I do wat I want!
they talk about him getting fired from school and his uncle being too busy to care
she tries to get him to talk and help him
but then the wind blows and a candle goes
later its day main chick walks around being disturbed by minor things like birds
she goes up a tower and finds miles covered in birds
that's how supervillains start
she sez she saw a man up there but miles sez hes alone up there
later miles rides a bit white horse
later theyre drawing
main chick thinks floras thunderstorm is a vase of flowers
miles draws a horse
is he a brony?
they talk about theyre house being big and main chicks being small
then they play hide and seek
as she looks she finds a music box and a picture
then miles comes out and grabs her
she complains of a grade schooler overpowering her and flora comes in
candy a55
then they look for her
as she goes around da house she seez a face in the window that retreats into the darkness
then she goes outside
he could be a serial killer
she tells the brit its da man from the tower
and who she just saw a picture of
but brit hag sez he bit it
later the kids are disgruntled so main chick lets em have a costume party and lets em go off on their own
in pet semetary that's how the little blonde kid bit it
brit hag sez in the coldest blackest winter the tower guy bit it falling down steps
also miles found the body
later miles dressed as a king sez some creepy poem
later main chick sez about tower guy(named quint) no one could go against him
also he had a gf
but both bit it and hag wont tell about em
later its day time ad flora has her pet tortoise in the water
she sings a song but it creeps out main chick
also they see a guy in the plants in the pond for a bit
at night she tells brit hag she saw quints gf I the pond
but brit hag don't buy it
this is like wuthering heights with the lovers ghosts
main chick thinks the kids are in danger
and sez they gotta find wat da ghosts want
brit hag sez the quint was mean to the gf
its always guys abusing girls
why not girls abusing guys?
they can be just as bad
if not worse
on degrassi high; Kathleen has an abusive bf.
me; this show is ALWAYS about abusive bf's. scott, rick, the Frenchie..
what next? spinner beating up paige?
spin; I'm tried of you paige! (b00m)(slugs her out) that's for getting me pregnant! and giving me AIDS!!!
brit hag sez after quint bit it the gf did too
main chick sez they otta tell someone like a priest
that's the best guy to tell in a haunting
but brit hag sez it wont work
who better than a priest to fight ghosts?!
not ghost busters
this is like the 1800s or w/e
they aint even in the womb yet
then we getta weird montage of her dealing with her ghost phobia
eventually she wants to tell the uncle
and sez the kids talk of the ghosts and da ghosts are getting closer
she wants to now how quints gf bit it and brit hag sez she bit it in da lake
later main chick sees and hears the gf in a room and finds math on the chalk board and freaks out
how come its ok to have guys bad at math but if chicks are in shows its seen as racist?
I know many guys bad at math
they play Yugioh
main chick sez the ghosts wanna possess the kids to reunite
but that's inbreeding
but that kinda happened in Yugioh zexal with nash and marin becoming rio and shark
but they wernt b0ning
later main chick runs around the dark house with creepy sounds
she fins flora who sezs someones in da garden
they see someone in it and she goes down
she finds miles and hes got a dead bird
then miles makes out with her a bit
this kids gonna grow up to b0ne a lotta chix
later its raining and flora goes to the lake in a gazebo thing
she knows things but not how she learned em
brit hag tries to get flora to admit seeing ghosts but flora freaks out
little b--ch!
later flora is upstairs screaming and brit hag sez its profanity
so brit hag takes flora away to turn her furry or something
later main chick talks to miles but he rejects her
she tries to get him to come out about why he was fried from school
also he read her mail
and he has been seeing and hearing things
he goes on a tirade but behind him appears the quint
he then throws the tortoise through the window and runs out and trips
she comforts him and sez the tirade wasn't his
and once he sez the guys name its over
what is this? the neverending story?
he freaks out, sees quint, dsez quint and blacks out
she sez hes free and safe but turns out he bit it
she smooches him
the end
what kind of ending is that?
is he dead?
in a coma?
but that was a well done film
good atmosphere and tone
brigt but dark
good b/w light and shadow
wonder how a silent german expressionist version would be?
the kids were good actors in this
turns out somehow this got an X rating in soviet England
theres no blood, gore, nude scenes or swear words
in a review of the 2017 my little pony movie, the brits said it was too scary
candy a55 brits think my little pony is too much
good thing they never saw fist of the north star
people asplode
and that's targeting ages 8-15 boys
saint Seiya would give them brain damage from the blood gore and limb removal
but I liked this film
its well made but I wasn't scared
in the 60s to moon landing kids it might be too much
but now we have are you afraid of the dark and goosebumps
those scared the h-ll outta me as a kid
well, just ayaotd with the rotting pool demon
for the innocents 2 I want the main chick to be on trial for killing the kid as she was with him last. but theres no evidence of her actually wacking him. she know she must go back to the house to retrieve his soul from the ghosts. after sneaking outta prison she goes there and finds theres a gate to h-ll on the property cuz its England. she goes in and goes through several levels of dantes inferno to find the miles soul. also its a 16 bit sega genesis and snes and gba and atari jaguar action game set in h-ll where you fight daemons and find items made of human souls and bones and try to get the soul of the kid back. after she beats the quint guy, she absorbs the kid's soul into her body and becomes pregnant with him. once outta h-ll she has a quick pregnancy and poops out the kid who then grows back to his age free of the quint and with h-ll powers.

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