Friday, October 6, 2017

Captains Courageous Review

note; stuill cant type
captaibns courageious
this is my review on captains courageous
the 30s one with spencer tracey
as a kid my dad read me the classics illustrated comic of it
I remember the kid being a butt hole and wanting to crush poors with his big a55 boat
ooh, victor fleming did this
and its got lionel barrymore
after cool credits with waves washing away them on a boat, we get a rich guy eating and getting info on his cr-p
after he goes to work, his little p o s son bugs the staff to get breakfast in bed
the other boys there have to deal with the main kid
the kid is a spoiled brat and needs a good beating
if I were a cannibal i'd not eat him
hes spoiled
imagine me eating him
chew chew! ugg! this kids spoiled! bite! crunch! ugg! disgusting! slurp! i'm gonna puke his meat back on his corpse!
kid gives other boys his dads cr-p but just to f with em
and he sez cuz his dads hot sh-t, they better obey him or his dad will fire their dads
I was almost like that as a kid
I needed more beatings
one boy the main kid tortured comes crying to his dad about what a d-ck the main kid is
later main kid is on this newspaper thing and is f ing it up
they gyp him for coins when he speaks normal (not high rank grammer) like saying like as a something or either/or instead of neither nor
later main kid sez he only wanted in the paper cuz others wanted him out
the tortured kids dad trys to talk sense into main kid but main kid sez he gave him a bribe
he left 50$ in change for him to make the history test easier
main kid is punished with a thorough beating
hes put in "Coventry"  where he cant speak or be spoken to
but he still trys
one kid has enough and slugs his candy a55 out!
so main kid covers himself in ink and goes to his dad and sez they took a bribe and silenced him and he escaped
but when dad sees the teachers, they reveal the kid was the bad guy
kid feels like he deserves more benefits than others cuz of some natural supremacy'
like a friedrich Nietzsche ubermench
this is like modern malcontent liberals who go on protests and whine when the cops beat em down
they decide to send the kid somewhere
dad sees kid but kid fakes being asleep and fakes having viet nam flashbacks of the teacher b0ning him
dad don't buy it
later dad and son go on a boat and son (kid ) wants to plow through the fishing boats under em
kid has 6 milkshakes himself with 2 boys
i'm surprised hes not a tub already!
he goes back to see his dad but falls off the boat while hiding from the boys
that's the end of him!
spencer tracey is fishing and saves the little d-ckweed
he turns him upside down and barfs out 6 milkshakes
we don't see it (but it would be fun to see him hurling)
tracy gets him back to the main boat and he wakes up later with a big black guy cooking
kid sees the captain and wants to go to Europe or new York
but cap wont change his mission to catch fish to obey this little candya66
kid sez his dads a bigshot but they don't buy t
caps son gives kid some clothes and the boat gets to harvesting fish
cap sez in 3 months when they're full on fish they'll return to land
cap sez he'd pay kid 3 $ a month or day or week or w/e for working on their boat
kid goes on his usual tirade about his dad putting em in jail so cap slugs him out
kid don't wanna help so he gets no feed
tracey has positive views on koid but the rest of the crew don't
they think it might not be good to keep him for luck reasons
tracey tries to help the kid get to work but hes a little brat
kid tries to take a boat to new Sodom (new York) and attacks tracey for trying to stop him
tacey holds his arms and moves him to throw a fish head off the boat
then kid gets to eat
btw I heard tracey plays a Portuguese sailor but uses a Yiddish accent cuz he didn't know how to Portugal right
better Yiddish than brittish!
later kid and tracy have a nice moment where he teaches kid sailor cr-p
also tracy sings and plays a music box
they talk about fathers and how tracys dad raised him well with like 17 other kids
his dad musta been good at b0ning
the crew comes up and complains but I was talking about the 4th powerpuff girl in the bad series with a guy I know online
later tracy helps the kid and they do depth finding things
10 fathoms?
what about the cr-p from 10 000 fathoms?!
that movie s-cked!
later they're cutting fish and 1 guy chops his finger like sailor venus in that part cut from the dub
later kids gonna throw either fish parts or human waste over board and tracy tells him to spit 1st
he does and finds the wind blew it back
had he thrown it, it would splat him
later tracy is going out in a boat and kid goes mental
later a guy sez he can outfish tracy and tracy sez tracy and kid can outdo guy
they bet over it
tracy and kid go out and kid has lightened up and is more upbeat
tracy teaches kid to fish
kid and tracy talk about how tracey's dad bit it in the ocean
tracy is ok with it but kid is bummed
tracy talks with kid about how they fish in heaven and the apostles were fishermen
nowadays they'd make this look bad
then kid catches a fish
holy cr-p its huge
the other guy hes betting against f's out and kid reveals he f';d up the guys nets
so tracy throws back the fish and returns the kid to the boat
later kid reveals he f'd the guys hooks and he tries to wack him
but tracy defends him
oh and guy got hooks in his arm
later kid sez hes ashamed and tracy sings to him
later we get a montage of them catching an a55load of fish
later they get in a race with another boat
oh its a race back to land
I'm not paying much attention
tracy and kid talk about their plans when they reach land
tracy might be b0ning chicks
kid don't wanna go home and stay on the boat with tracy
later they're still racing back to land and I think its getting rough
the rival boat nearly busts the main boat
the weather tracy goes up the mast to fix something but it breaks and falls under with him in it
and hes caught in the ropes
holy f!
the bottom half of him was ripped off!
and he don't want the kid to see him with his guts spilling out
he tells the black guy in Portuguese
they start cutting him loose
oh and kids traumatized by this
if only he told the kid the truth that he was already iced
the rope is cut and tracy goes under
good thing he was catholic
otherwise he might've went to h-ll
well, that might not have saved r fk and j fk and gacy
who knows?
so later they drop off kid and his dads coming
kid talks caps kid into letting him have tracys cr-p
btw cap kid has like 3 scenes the whole film
wtf the captain is captain disko
is his kid captain grunge?
kid wants to stay with captain disko but disco sez no
then dad comes by and kid wants to be a fishing guy
dad is glad his malcontent son is back
later kid wants to go fishing and when dad sez he wants to meet the guy who saved kid, kid runs out cuz tracy bit it
dad is glad kid is not a dink any,more
captain gives dad advice on raising kids
later kid lights candles for tracy and tracys dad at the church
kid prays for tracy and sez he has to be with tracy one day
he leaves and dad sees him and heard his prayer
dad finds kid in a boat and comforts him
later theres a monument to tracy about those who bit it at sea
a man gives a speech in memory of them
they read names throw flowers in the sea each time a name is read
it ends with the kid and dad laughing and remembering tracy
the end
that was good
you really feel tracy's warmth
the kid is such a d-ck at 1st
but he totally turns it around
you feel for him
huh, Rudyard kipling wrote this
I never knew that
and the book is set near new Gomorrah (Canada) in newfoundland
for captains courageous I want the kid to have grown up and is a teen who is obsessed with fishing. he returns to the sea and when he sees the captain who had spencer tracy cut loose he has an episode and all the bottled feelings of wanting him to save tracy return and he goes nuts. captain reveals tracy was torn in half from the accident and this pushes the teen over the edge realizing he couldn't do anything and he snaps. he uses his dads wealth to create fishing based items and goes around chopping people up at night and feeding on their organs as his way of trying to save them after they get sliced in 2. also he has more enhanced awareness from being nuts and is one step ahead of the cops and knows everything happening in the room by his mind being super active. its also an action game on sega genesis and snes where you go round avoiding cops and getting people in rooms to chop em up.

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