Thursday, October 19, 2017

Manhunt In The Jungle Review

note; my bad spelling ids my gimkick
manhunt in the jungle
this is my review on manhunt in the jungle(1958)
i never saw this b4
wtf its in color
it starts with a zoon on a map of brazil and a song about da amazon
then credits
find da cure
it sez its filmed in south america
then text saying in 1928 a guy went to the amazon and sent radio messages
then narrator sez in the 1753 a portuguese explorer found a jungle city thats made with high skill\
so muc for evolution saying we evolved from primitive things
so the portugalo sent a message but the guy getting it didnt act
years later in the 20th century (fox) a brit found the message and went to find the lost city
but he and his men vanished
then another brit went after him 3 years later
they get a truck and drive on
they need 4 more men but the natives dont wanna help
i actually know a guy in brazil
he's nice
hes from da 80s
also they are bringing 3 tons of supplies
i portugaulo braziliano sez the 1st brit was iced by bandits for his gold
what is this? mad max?
2nd brit looks for natives who have reasons to ditch town
1 guy lost cash so he'd pay his bills
1 guy he gave a record player
1 guy stole a chicken and a big black guy was gonna chop him up
so brit 2 payed for it
they plan their route after where brit 1 went
1 guy shows an electric eel
spoiler; eel is delicious
except when the brits make it
eel pie?!
eel sushi is the best!!
also they call the jungle "green h-ll"
thats where tam tam from samurai shodown lives!
the see some guys wife who has black magic powers
she lets evil proits use her and tells em cr-p
thats not good man
who knows what those daemons will say?
could be lies to f u up
they meet a guy who last saw brit 1 and he leads em to the water
but theres electric eels in it
but they get through it
then they go through a desert
after a sand thing and 27 days of walking, they got out of the desert
i had no idea there were deserts in brazil
then they take a river and find a sign carved in a tree from brit 1
they find a small animal and keep it with em
tts night (even though its well lit) and they gotta face the monsters of the jungle
theres a jaguar in it
but it dont f em
the next day a guy bathes in the river
hope the leaches donrt get ur parts
but a big a55 snakje attacks him
hope it dont go in yo a55
the other dudes save him
after 2 weeks they move 190 miles
later a boat tarts going under and they fix it
lthey find natives doing some ritual
also brit 2 explains the spaniards thought the natives were chicks cuz of their outfits
and named it after the amazons
imagine if they tried b0ning one of the alleged women and found out its a dude
if threy were brits instead of spaniards they'd keep going lol
they leave w/o the ritualers seeing em as they say they'd be b0ned dead by the natives if seen
later they eat fish stew and dont like it
thats racist
then they go through rapids and a boat flips
buit they make it
they realize they cant go back as something about the river
so they go on
then one guy gets eaten by piranha
they go on and find another ign carved in a tree by brit 1
they find some remnants of past civilization and think its 11 000 years old
but creation science dates da urth at 6000 max
they find a cave and fear cannibals
but its just got bats
thousands of bats
later they send 1 guy ahead to radio
they wonder when they'll find more natives
they meet a tribe and ask em about brit 1
but this other guy swore em to silence
so they try to get other guy to come to them
the natives keep grabbing the radio cr-p
1 guy gets p-ssed but they cool the situation
the next day the natives booked it
they find a piece of fabric from brit 1's pants
and a chief
oh its the other guy
they give him a shirt in exchange for bringing them to his village
at the village theres chicks with their b00bs showing
2 hot 4 tv
brit 2 uses his science to fake being magical
just use ur ki to blow over a mountain
worked in dragon ball
they offer him a wife but hes married
one chick has a thing with the logo of the company that equipped brit 1
they try a picture but chief slams the cam
they show him sparkles
why'd they bring sparklers on a jungle trip?!
did they have sparklers in 1928?!
they find other stuff from brit 1 but chief goes
later the natives start going mental so they use sparklers and fire works to scare em off
later chief wants to see brit 2 alone
hes gonna b0ne him!!
chief takes brit 2 to a past campsite with evidence of brit 1
chief tells him through pantomime that brit 1  came by and some guys wasted em
but brit 2 knows cheif iced them
chief reads brit 2's ki and knows hes on to him
so he tries to cap him
but the safety is on
so brit 2 takes it and caps a bird
so chief thinks only white people can use guns
the natives return
btw most of this is movie narrated by brit 2
a translator sez the tomorrow the natives will ice everyone who don't go
1 guy cant take it and books it on a canoe
chief offers info for boots
he sez he'd show them brit 1's bones in a city of stone
also chief has a bandanna of the guy who booked it
brit 2 sends a last radio message saying da situation
they then have a Christmas thing
the natives would kill everyone if brit 2 left em
da team packs up and boat down da river
and left cr-p behind for the natives to buy time
they scape down the river and wonder if the lost city is near
the end
they didn't even find the city
good movie though
based on a true story
seems like a thing you'd see on offbeat cinema
but I enjoyed it
for manhunt in the jungle 2 i'd like for a psychic in japan to receive a psychic message from the brit who went to find the city and it says he's alive and in the city but he's running out of time before the natives come for him. so japan sends a rescue team in the 30s after him with thre best armor and weapons they have. when the natives try to ice em they fight back as they took weapons with em instead of the brits and cut them down. they find the brit and ancient city and claim it for japan but more natives attack and its an epic clash between japan and brazil. also its an up to 4 player 16 bit game on sega genesis and snes and gba and you play as up to 4 japanese warriors fighting jungle animals, natives, and the final boss is a jungle sasquatch who leads the natives from the shadows who helped build the city.

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