Monday, October 16, 2017

The Snow Devils Review

note; i'm too eccentric to spell right
the snow devils
this is my review on the snow devils
ooh its by mgm
it starts with people in a sci fi thing
Robotech was better
beard guy sez the temp changed too much to be real
and the people there might get to return home
then the window busts and something gets em
then we get credits over a frozen landscape
tf southern cross production?
like Hokuto no ken or Robotech?
then in a space thing that looks like several other space things in other movies(2 wheels spinning) a guy video calls
caller is looking for guys but they are on mandatory leave
btw the movie is widescreen but the monitors in the movies are normal
the space thing calls for a guy but a bikini countess sez hes busy
they call a kung fu place where the guy looks dubbed over
the guy theyre looking for just left
then at a waterfront place with another bikini girl a rick Astley looking guy plays chess with a kid
rick Astley looking guy gts a call but he finishes the checkers game 1st
he gets beat
then rick Astley looking guy and his Russian homie fly a jet blasting jet black smoke out its engines
good thing global warming isn't real
plus theyre heading for the polar camp
but the glaciers are f'd
the artic is cracking open
turns out its a high energy proton field from the Himalayas causing it to melt
didn't go nagai do this in Devilman?
we need some hippies, drugs and a pure hearted teen
at the polar base everyones bit it
the window breaker busted in, iced everyone and trashed the place
they recover a huge footprint
the window breaker might be 7 feet tall and over 300lbs
so its sasquatch
also someone from the base was gonna marry some chick here
after rick Astley looking guy showers his Russian homie plays music
hes gonna go on a quest to find snow devils
well, survivorman found on his hunt for bigfoot that sasquatch may be the kids of fallen angels and humans
also a black guy from the area in the north is gonna lead em on the mission
he seems kinda zen
then he has a weird kung fu dance
rick Astley looking guy wonders if the guy missing (I think beardo) couldve survived
a chick named lisa H (not the Robotech chick) sez he might still be alive
man everyones mouths move weird
it looks dubbed
lisa H wants to find the missing guy
then the black guy cuz something happened but wont say
so he brings em to a building that just went up in flames
the building had a helijet
btw the black guy don't wear a shirt in the snow
I do dat too
I shovel snow in shorts and shoes
also the north ice elsewhere in the world is melting
they say they might be facing world wide floods
spoiler; theres not enough water in the ice caps to cover the planet
its like filling a glass of coke half way, putting in 1 ice cube, and saying; when it thaws it'll overfill
so the men go up da mountain by foot
was this filmed in soviet Canada?
they walk to 60s music
later the men on their team don't wanna go on outta fear of the snow devils
then why'd they com on this mission?!
didn't they know where they were going?!
also the lisa H is with em stowed away
Rick and Lisa H?
later in da tent rick Astley looking guy and Lisa H talk about rick Astley looking guy's back story
his uncle got him into rocket space cr-p
also Lisa H looked up his stats be coming with him
then they make out
but stop and go to sleep
if this were made today they'd be b0ning
later they go up again
so the movie starts with some space stuff, then its a mountain climbing movie?
the space stuff seems tacked on
they go to a cave to wait out a storm
lisa reams and they look for her
they find beastmen like in Urotsukidoji
the manbeasts fight em
they get their a55es beat
they reunite with Lisa H snd the black guy
manbeasts (jujin) take them to a place with big ancient machines
the humans (ningen)think the beast men are not advanced enuff to make the machines
then 1 talks to em with a bit of a brit accent
he sez they are aliens
they'e home planet is an ice world like in Kirby
theyre planet was hit by radioactive space cr-p and they need a new one
so they need earth
they plan to melt the poles, flood da urth, and freeze it whole
but wont dat need massive energy to do so?
they reveal they were there 100 years(when the 1st snow devils appeared)
and were transporting the planet changing machines all that time
they get taken to the brig and beardo (lisa H's bf) is
lisa H's bf sent away to a cold place and presumed wacked?
just like Robotech
beardo sez the humans are doomed but threy go through the air conditioning vents
they left vents big enuff to let humans through?
they see alens under the vents and go by careful
btw; aliens destroying da urth? Robotech!
they get out the vents in an area thaty looks just like where they came in
holy cr-p this has been going for like 45 mins
it didn't feel like it
they find a supply room and wanna use chemicals to bust their weather machine
rick Astley looking guy wants to use chemicals to make ether and put it through the  A C
also they conveniently find gas masks
later a man beast finds em but they beat him
level up!
they use ether which looks like dry ice fog to put the man beasts to sleep
I dont think ether looks or moves like at
the leader of the man beasts resists the ether somehow and uses a sci fi gun on em
rick Astley looking guy fights him but his mask gets loose
the leader falls on the machine ands bites it
what a useful character
oh and the black guy got wounded
then somehow the ether gets sucked back into the vents
rick Astley looking guy wants beardo to contact the general
mean while the planet is starting to flood
oh and the gang got back to civilization
but the ice is still melting
both north and south poles
so  gang goes into space
eventually its found theres life on a satellite
so rick Astley looking guy and a few others go to it
they get there and theres no activity
they send stuff in but it gets disintegrated
so if they use missiles or lasers it wont work
I wasn't paying attention for a bit but they puled back and went out in space suits and planted things on various meteors
hey use the things on meteors to bring them along with him to the satellite
oh I think its a moon on the 5th planet
they fling the meteors at the satellite to get past the disintegration thing and bust it
they they return to base for debriefing and cocktails
the end
that was pretty good
good color, sets, ideas, effects, and costumes
the costumes look kinda like the Robotech expeditionary force in season 3 and the shadow chronicles
its got a lot in common with both Robotech and Urotsukidoji
and a bit of valis III where the aliens are heading to another world as theirs is going out
although that also happened with the Invid in Robotech season 3 (kinda) and Robotech masters in season 2 (kinda)
yeah it had some logic errors and plot problems
but that makes it more fun
check this one out
for the snow devils 2 i'd like for the man beasts to launch an invasion force on earth to overpower it and wipe out the humans through war instead of floods. the humans launch space fighters and use armed space stations to fight back. but the aliens have higher tech and more ships. so the humans reveal their ultimate weapon; a supper colossal lens near venus that can magnify and aim sunlight as an attack and aim it like a giant beam to burn through the enemy ships. but the snow devils use their ultimate weapon; a massive gamma ray cannon to wipe out life on earth. and its a race to send a shadow force to sneak behind enemy lines and locate the gamma cannon before its too late. also its a 16 bit sega genesis and snes and gba game where you play as the shadow force in stealth fighters who go through trapped areas and avoid detection(or execute those who find you) and try to find the gamma cannon location by hacking into their systems, which has cyber space levels and program bosses.

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