Thursday, October 12, 2017

Destination Moon Review

note; I spell as accurate as animation of the moon being made of cheese is
destoination moon
this is my review on destination moon
its from 1950 and by George pal who did the time machine, tom thumb and the 7 faces of dr lao
its directed by Irving Pichel who did the most dangerous game, the great Rupert and Colonel Effingham's Raid
are those p0rn0es?
its based on a book Rocket Ship Galileo by Robert A. Heinlein
after scrolling credits like flash Gordon we get a rocket test
but it blows apart
2 guys talk but I'm not paying attention
btw this is fullscreen
no black bars
later at a sci fi airplane place the guy from the rocket fail (the general(not the megaman x 4 guy)) comes to meet a airplane ceo\
general wants ceo to help him make a new rocket
a rocket to da moon!!
ceo sez its not possible but general sez with an atomic engine it can
general sez they need to pool their resources and cr-p with ceo to put man on da moon in a year
if that don't work they can always fake it lol
we get a model and explaination
water heated by atomic engines makes steam to go out da rockets a55
they show a motion pictiure with a high rank American actor to explain it
its woody woodpecker
I'm srs
the narrator shows woody woodpecker how rockets work using a shotgun
he flies by shooting the ground a lot
even contra didn't do dat
he then rides a rocket up to show gravity and escaping it
and how it goes to and lands on da moon
then goes back
this is pretty nice
I recall seeing this movie years ago on offbeat cinema b4 it changed stations and isn't on Canadian tv anymore
ceo sez they gotta do it to stay in business
the best people to do it are in da private sector so da gov cant do it
and other countries might go 2 da moon 1st
and set up weapons on it
whoever controls the moon controls da urth
even contra never did that
btw in Robotech the Invid got the earth and the defence forces on da moon based did jack
later the astronaughts are made uniforms in different colors so they dont get lost on da moon
later 2 guys talk about if the rocket can go to da moon
ceo sez that theres no law against firing off a spaceship so if they go w/o telling the people it can be easier w/o some one interfering
better to ask for forgiveness instead of permission
or rather; consent!!
also general, ceo and a 3rd guy are going on the rocket
also they worry about radioactivity in space
1 guy has his appendix out so they gotta use joe
joe was the guy who said they couldn't do it earlier
but they win him over
later some guys come up to da rocket with a court order telling threm not to go
I was reading about walter lanz (the creator of woody woodpecker) and missed a bit
they clear the area and take off
as they go up the gravity squishes their faces
maybe they could use this for training by building strength in high gravity like dbz
ce they get in space the joe lets out his seatbelt and floats around
how'd they do dat?
joe gets sea sick in space as theres no up in space
1 guy gets him some pills by climbing around the background
joe has issues swallowing in space w/o gravity
spoiler; dats cr-p!
u can swallow upsidedown!
1 guy gets magnet boots and wall walks
he gets da other guys mag boots
they look at da urth from space with marvel
later they drink cola with straws and eat bananas (phallllic symbolz)
where they gon put da peels?
turns out joe greased something and now its frozen in space
is that real??
so they gotta go out and fix it
they go out upsidedown in space on ropes and magnet boot walk on the bottom of da ship
also they are going 7 miles per second or something
but in space it seems not like it
2 guys work on the grease thing while 1 goes to the a55 end of da rocket
he lets go of the rope and as his boots come off the ship from bending, starts to float off
well, that's the end of him!
the 2 guys throw him a rope but he cant reach
general I think coms up with a scuba tank and 1 guiy blasts around space with it like a 16 bit platformer
he saves the floater and they get back in
near da moon they flip the ship and blast out the rocket a55 to land
man, we're already an hour in and it feels like no time happened
this movie has good flow
they get out and look at the weird moonscape
ladder handles extend from the side of da rocket and they walk down it
I'm not sure that would work
the friction from atmosphere heat would burn em shut
they get down and it plays dramatic music
I gotta say this looks good
nowadays it would be ruined with cg
they radio talk with reporters on earth about it
they describe da moon to them
why cant they use a video feed?
they have radios to the moon in real time but no cameras?
1 guy jumps around on the low gravity moon
they go out to explore and 1 guy takes a photo of another
they take another that looks like he's holding da urth
they jump around the moonscape to one guy (I think general) who reveals the mood is radioactive in areas
turns out; they don't have enuff fuel to get the ship off da moon
so they lighten it by taking cr-p out da ship
they cut stuff off the ship and dump 3 spacesuits
but thewy still weigh too much
why not sand down the stuff inside and shave off their hair?
they decide one of em has to stay behind
just like every other movie like this
they argue over who gets to bite it
if this were ade today; one of em would be black and he'd sacrifice himself to save the white virgin couple
joe sez to draw lots for it\
why not take off their clothes and return nude?
joe goes out in a spacesuit and sez he's gonna stay
1 guy talks joe back on saying he has a plan
they choose to take out da radio and leave the spacesuit and use a MacGyver style thing to get the suit out da airlock
and poke a hole in da lock so he has time to get out
and use a oxygen tube on a rope to pull the suit out
they do it
I realize they are wearing shoes
could've left those to save some weight
they blast off and return home
da urth looks kinda like in Robotech
the end
but it sez; this is THE END of the beginning
cuz space cr-p is gonna happen irl soon after this was made
that was pretty good
good flow and pacing
no cr-ppy love interest subplot tacked on
I don't think there were any chicks in this movie
at least not in main roles
just like da real moon landing
unless it was faked
lol jk
its not global warming
for destination moon 2 i'd like for it to be a few years in the more distant future and the moo has become a base for weapons testing too dangerous on earth. the non american country mentioned in the 1st movie is revealed to be England and they wanna use the moon to take over da urth. they send spies to the moon as fake americans as America owns the moon now and plan to destroy it. also in the chaos of the moon being gone, the tides and animals start f ing out and England tries to take over in the chaos. but America takes on England as the planet f's out in raging seas and storms all over da urth and they fight in exosuits that can turn into submarines and jets.

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