Mission To Mars Review

 Note: i spell marsian

MNission to marz

This is my review on Mission To Mars from the diustant future yewar of 2000 (25 years before robotech II The Sentinels Cyber Pirates and Transformers Victory)

Its diirectal by Brian De Palma who ddid Carrie o1, the 80s Scarface, the 80-s The Untouchables, Raising Cain,

Its based on a disney ride like Pirates of the Carribean and The Hauybnted Mansion

It stars Gary Sinise from Open Season 01/The Green Mile/The Quick and the Dead/Apollo 13/Forrest Gump/Of Mice and Men, Tim Robbins from Howard the Duck/Top Gun 01/Twister/The Shawshank Redemption/Dead Man Walking/Austin Powers 02/Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy/The Simpsons, pro evil Don Cheadle from Boogie Nights/The Family Man/Rush Hour 2/Ocean's Eleven/Hotel Rwanda/The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/The Simpsons/MADtv/Drunk History, Connie Nielsen from Gladiator/One Hour Photo/Wonder Woman/Justice League/SVU(Ew, she was dani beck! Gross!), Jerry O'Connell from Stand by Me/Scream 2/Buying the Cow/The Death of Superman/My Secret Identity/Sliders/MADtv/Justice League Unlimited/The Batman/Drunk History/Justice League Action/The Big Bang Theory, Kim Delaney ffrom Body Parts/Svu, Peter Outerbridge froim land of the dead/Silent Hill: Revelation/This Is Wonderland/Puppets Who Kill/Flashpoint/Designated Survivor/Zoo/Pure, Kavan Smith from The Crow: Stairway to Heaven/the 00s The Twilight Zone, Jill Teed from X2/Party of Five/Sliders/Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction/Arctic Air/the 10s The Twilight Zone, Elise Neal froim Malcom X/Scream 2/Law & Order/California Dreams/The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Robert Bailey Jr. from Dragonfly/Touched by an Angel, Armin Mueller-Stahl from The West Wing/Angels & Demons, Bill Timoney from Blue Bloods/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Malcolm in the Middle/Battle Arena Toshinden/Digimon/Queen's Blade/Voltage Fighter Gowcaizer/Urotsukidoji, and some guys not on wikiepcdia

I'm not sure if i saw this b4 but i get it mixed u-p with mission to mars

the only thjing i recall is the guiy saying F this planet, and blasting off

so it starts on a bbq with guy getting ready to go to the mars and the sopviets are coming too

1 couple is gooing to mars, which should take several years, and if thewy are b0ning, they might poop mout a baby there

don chidle is married to a chick and has a son and 1 guy is trying to seduce chicks, even though its bad luck to b0ne b4 a MISSION

DON CHERMDPE comforts his son who dont weant him to go as he wants dad to finish the booim they are reading and he sez they'd read it apart and it would be like reading it together

then one of thos egay electric cars cpomes by and i think gary sinise comes out with a bottle of booze and reunites wioth don

its the distant future year of 2020 around the time of the pioneer mission to the 3rd moon of fantoma fort the robotech exepeditionary force and don sez to gary that he wishes he didnt have to go as one guy got sick and had to stay behind

garty has a moment where he presses his foot in the dirt like its ther 1st footprit on mars and theres soft emotgional music

then its 13 months later on soviuet mars and a robot rc car thing is spinning around on the surgace

it finds a tomb and opens it and all these daemnons come out and posess the people and make them chop each other up

jk thats ghosts nof mars

so the crew from b4 is on mars are looking around and 1 finds what looks like ice there

at the world space station, wait, world? like a uinited earth gov? like robotech?!

so in there the mars control thing is hacving gravity somehow and gary is there and gets a messdage from don saying they miught use the discovery to have humans colonize mars

which is f=-=kin stoopid as if you live there tyoo long, you weaken and if you go to earth you'd poop out ur gusty and die from being used to low gravioty

so all 4 of the mars crew go out as if anything happens, no one can be left, and they scann it nd find theres metal in the rock

they sent the station a message sdaying happy birth day, which was copyrighted then, and by the time it reaches the space station, the crew is out at the place  on the mars

at the site, the power goes out, which might kill them as they need suits on to love, and all the sand and rocks start flowing to form a huge pillar of whirlwind

it turns into a hhuge d0ng and moves toward em and roars as they stand around liek theyre re-rded and it kills 1 guy with a rock to the face, then sucks 1 guy in and spins hiom around til he breaks apart like f==kin loopney toons!

don is berried alive and the storm rteveals a huge a55 alien face made of metal

what inn the name of F is going on?!

is ythis a horror movie?!

also; we're like 20 mins in, that felt like nothing

so back on the ship i mesan station this husband and wife in 0 g are fixing a thing and nearly b0ne and jerry o connel sends a message to em to get the team togetehr

gary tells the crew they found a huge energy burst on mars and don sent a f'd messager saying everyones dead

in robotech; in the distant future year of 2005, the mars base had an expeiment go wrong and iced the crew and in 2009, they nuked the base to save the sdf-1 full of civilians

so the station crew say they gotta get their a55 to mars to save don as he cant gget back on his own

so gary is the one who designed the mars rescue theam mission and knows thhey have a chance and is given consent to plan a rescue

tim robbins from the shawshank rwedemption who was b0need in the a55, sez they cant do it as is and dont got tyhe right crew

gary's woman bit it and the german commander sez gary isnt fit for duty as he didnt pas psych evaluations but tyim sez he can

on the trip, jerry o connel makes a dna helix of his iodeal woman(mistique from x men?) outta candy in -0 g and gary eats a few pieces (she's devolved)

on the trip is a cool shot of them walking aorund the circle room on the floor looping around and the camera following them and soem 0 g dancing

btw this has good colort and is widescreen

the creww uses a sattilite to check the area and sees 3 graves

so either doins alinve or no one was left to bverry him

it its been 6 months and theres some interference with the scanners or w/.e

we're like an hour in and it dont feel like it, this film dont drafg

so thhe ship goes on and the station analyzes the data but finds jack sh-t and jack in j-zzing on the floor

thhey get word thet tomorrow theyd be good and gary looks at fotage of his woman and their relationship

they were gonna be cocommanders of mars 01 amnd the msuic is really soft and hartfelt

in video woman sez the inucerse isnt chaos but connection and lie connectsd life

sounds like intelligent design

so gary thinks something planned ort caused it on mars, like how oh bba mma did n\n3 ||

they get near the mars and simulate the move to get in the area or w/e so they dont get lst drifting in spoace forever

then jerry ggets a bullet in his hand and there small meterors in the area that breached da hull and airs leaking out

jerry starts to swell up and his head blkows open from the rapid pressure change!

jk they helmet up and the computers are f'd and they need to reboot it

its never nbeen tested and 1 guy goos oot too fix da leak from outisde

gary isnt weeearing his helmet and has issues breathing and doing voice recognition and sends a dr pepper pack to show swhere the air leak is

the dr pepper is cgii and the 90s style

gady keels over and is given a mouth piece to breathe and the hull breach is fixed and its all ok somehow at 10% atmosp[here

then they make it to red mars, even though this is 2021 and in 2011 mega zarak blew mars apart to gather the energon to power up in transformers the headmasters

man we're 90 mins in with add and its going well

so at near orbit they use booster to get in but the oxygebnn sprung a leake and liquid oxygen floated behind them and lighting the boosters blew it and they get f'd out line

they try to get in, weait, they ditch that hunk of cr--p and go off daisy chained together

imagine if they were a human centipede?

they see the sattelite and its far away and tim robbins goos oof to get it after saying "i'll see you in a flash" which might as well be "i'll be right back" from scream 001

he goes too fast or far or w/e overshooting is znd gets the hook on the craft, but is gooing too fast and flips off

tyheyy see that they cant save him and dont got enough fuel to save him, but they can try to get the shiip to get him, but he might be in the atmosphere by thenm

also tim robins character is woody like in toy story 01-XX

they get ready to get in and woodys woman goes after him bbut is talked outta it toi go back

btw the acting seems kinda 50s

she tries the hook gun but it is just outta reach and shes gonna try again but husband tim sez no

he seez she wont leave him so he takes off his helmet and goes straight to h e souble soviet disneyyland

cool after look of his sfrozen head

my ida; woody; i'll see you in h-ll! ahahahahaha! (tyakes off helmet, head aspoldes)

so they get to mars and traise the American Flag as We're Number 1: Ore Tachi Wa Ichiban! Omae No zoku Wa Jigoku No Kuso!

the flag waves in the wind which as theres no wind on mars, means the whole thing is fake, or is that da moon?

gary goon in the station and thers oxygen in there but no light

jerry lee roth turens on the power and the computersd are f;'d and theres not much damage

in 1 room gary finds a jjungl;e inside and its the green house

gary takes off his helmet and donb is behind himand he dont notice

don seems to have devolved into a primitive cavbeman state and tries to kll gary wioth a hammer  but gary tells him his wifer AND SONS NAMES AND HOW HES READIGN TREADURE ISLAND

f opff caps lock, get b0ned byy an aids carrier

also shouldnt he be readiing robinson crusoe?

after regaining some brain power from being cvin freaver for months on this dread rock, he asks where woody is and they say he didnt make it

don cant take it and pulls out the hammer spike thing and busts his head open, then pulls out a brain chunk and feeds on it

jk thhats kinda antrophphagus

so hes survived bby using plants for oxygen and food and i guess pooping in the plants

he thinks he only lived as THEy wanted someone to tell the story and the rescue heroes think hes nuts

they go out and he reveals after digging himself out and getting back to back with a cracked faceplate, he came out later and dug 1 grave form the only chick he found, but made 3 to evenm it oout

the planet looks liek a violence jack/hokuto no ken h-llscape and he shows them theres a facer on mars made byu someone b4 them

don shows them a patter he found in the soound and they process the sounds into a model of dna

its close to human but missing chromosomes and how humans have close dna to apes, but that small % gievs us einstein, motzart and jack the ripper

al;though apes are violent and devolved, look at chimps eating people!

gary seez skittles and recalls jerrys dna thing and he realizes that its a test and you need to give it the missing chromosomes

if you give the wrtong answer, like ther radio waves on the scanner, it attacks

he desices to find which recording make the right chromosomes and don is now shaven somehow and if they get it wrong, it might ice em

3-43 guys bit it cuz of this but if they dont, it will be for nothing

which is gambling logic of "if i dont win ti back i love money for nothing, so imma keep chasing the dragon!"

theyy send the rc toy and it sends the signal and it works and the gary don and chick go in yo this crack in the alien thing

they go in this white light room and the exit seals like an a55 with glue and inside gary opens his suit and finds its pressurised and has earth aiur in it

thhey take off the helmets like normal people taking off masks afte the gov stops forcing them and they see a big a55 cgi show of the solar system and mars being hit by a meteor thatr wiped out its life

then this alien walks upp and looks like a gamecube game and crys and shows countless ships leaving the planet and sprerading across the galaxy eyes tachyon dragon

1 stayed behind and shows how it sent a pod to earth andf started the lie of evolution and shows fish to lizard to dinosaur to mammnoth to bison

also wasnt there biker mice on mars?

so the thing holds their hands and the groubnd lights up and it vanishes into the darkness

the gorund starts having rings flipping and they get wortd fom jerry lee lewis oconnel and saying they gotta get back as a storms a rising

they realize they are in a ship and gotta go and gary has nothing left on earth so he wants to go off with the space daemons likein close encounters of the 3rd kind by spcoet speilberg

so it seems i saw red planet where the guy sez "f diss planit" andf gives it the finger b4 blasting off

don and chick say bye and don thanks him for saving his live and gary sez woody is with them as they wouldnt have made it w/o him

she gives him a buck rogers medal or w/e woofy had and theyleave gary to go off to the cosmic horrors of the outrer reigons of the universe

so gary gets in a tubne likein galaxy qwuest and is turned into light and sent through this protoculture of liquid smoke goold

jerry is gonna leave but gets word and dont go yyet

the tube gary is in starts filling with clear water and he can breathe in it aS I HGUESS ITS WATER AIR

the mars face crumbles and this gold pod comes  up and he flashesback through the whole movie and he jets off through space to a distant galaxy to be provbed forever

the end

that was pretty good

nice 00s animation and art

good msuic

doesnt drag and has good flow

doesnt feel like 2 hours

interesting story and style

good acting and it feels a bit 500s style

its a well made film thhat for some reason the critics hated, but they are usually wrong

its got that end of the 90s style and heart

For Mission to Mars 2 I want it to be about gary in the alien galaxy and finds the meteor that hit mars long ago was sent by an enemy force and the mars guysy were at war with them for aeons, so theyy needed gary to use his free will that they dont have to help them win, also its revealed the evoltuion thing was made up and they are really daemons and they iced his wife so he'd come with them,, due to this hge jiins the enemy foece which is revealed to be angels and the masrs base was made as a fallen angel camp on there to fight The Garden of Eden on Earth and the mars guyys were the bad guys. Also its a 16 bit RPG like Sigma Star Saga on Snes, Genesis, RG16, GBA and Atari Jaguar where you play as gary and fight for the mars guys but half way through find they are the bad guys and switch to the good guys.

The Hunt For Red October Review

 Notw: I spell dead not red

TRhe Hunt For Red October

Tjhis is mny Review for The Hunt For Red October from ther distant future year (to Zee Kaiser) of 1990(20 years before the 1st Robotech War)

Its basd on a book I never read by Tom clancy and was directal by John McTiernan who did Predator 01/Die Hard 001/Last Action Hero 01/Die Hard with a Vengeance

It stars Sean Connery from Zardoz/The Wind and the Lion/Highlander 001/The Untouchables/Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade/Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves/Dragonheart/The Avengers/Finding Forrester/The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, back door Alec Baldwin from Beetlejuice/Great Balls of Fire!/Mercury Rising/Pearl Harbor/Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within/The Adventures of Pluto Nash/The Cat in the Hat/The Aviator/The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie/The Boss Baby/The Alamo: Thirteen Days to Glory/soviet Saturday Night Live/The Simpsons/The Fairly OddParents/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Joss Ackland from Watership Down/Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey/The Mighty Ducks/da 90z Miracle on 34th Street/My Giant, Tim Curry from The Rocky Horror Picture Show/Home Alone 2: Lost in New York/Congo/FernGully: The Last Rainforest/The Rugrats Movie/Rugrats in Paris: The Movie/the 80s Paddington Bear/Fox's Peter Pan and the Pirates/Tiny Toon Adventures/The Pirates of Darkwater/Captain Planet and the Planeteers/Darkwing Duck/the jim henson Dinosaurs/Batman: The Animated Series/Mighty Max/Eek! The Cat/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Duckman/Sonic the Hedgehog Sat AM/Aladdin the 90s cartoon/Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad/The Mask: The Animated Series/Gargoyles/Mighty Ducks/Jumanji/Quack Pack/Bruno the Kid/Freakazoid!/Casper/Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego/The Wild Thornberrys/Voltron: The Third Dimension/Hey Arnold!/The Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot/Johnny Bravo/Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain/Batman Beyond/Redwall: Mattimeo/Samurai Jack/Loonatics Unleashed, Peter Firth from Equus(h0rse p0rn0e)/The Rescuers Down Under(had a nsaked chick in 1 frAME)/Pearl Harbor (had alec haldwin and ben aff-ck)/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (like p0rn0e), Scott Glenn from Apocalypse Now/The Silence of the Lambs(f--kin ghey)/Backdraft/The Virgin Suicides/Vertical Limit/Training Day/Freedom Writers, the wonderful jim jones aka James Earl Jones from Dr. Strangelove/Star Wars/Exorcist II: The Heretic/Conan the Barbarian/Coming to America/Naked Gun 33+1⁄3: The Final Insult/The Lion King/Judge Dredd/Fantasia 2000/Scary Movie 4/Driving Miss Daisy/Highway to Heaven/The Simpsons/Garfield and Friends/Law & Order/Touched by an Angel/Frasier/The Big Bang Theory, Jeffrey Jones from Amadeus/Ferris Bueller's Day Off/Howard the Duck/Beetlejuice/Stuart Little/Sleepy Hollow/Duckman/Eek! Stravaganza/Batman: The Animated Series/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/The Zeta Project, The Zeta Project, Richard Jordan from Logans run/Dune,, Sam Neill from Omen III: The Final Conflicta cRY iN THE dARK//Jurassic Park 01/03/06/ The 94 live action The Jungle Book i hated/Event Horizon/Bicentennial Man, ther evil Stellan Skarsgard from Deep Blue Sea/Exorcist: The Beginning/Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist/Pirates of the Caribbean 02 and 03/Mamma Mia!/The Avengers by marvel, the right honorable Freddie Dalton Thompson froim Thunderheart/Law & Order/svu/trial by jury/criminal intent/ the goofd wife, Courtney B. Vance from Law and Order/The Wild Thornberrys/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/The Spectacular Spider-Man/The Spectacular Spider-Man, Tomas Arana from from The Last Temptation of Christ/The Bodyguard/Gladiator/Pearl Harbor/The Dark Knight Rises/Guardians of the Galaxy/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Justice League Unlimited, Timothy Carhart from Ghostbusters/Desperately Seeking Susan/Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh/Air Force One//Quantum Leap/Law & Order/The Twilight Zone 2002/Touched by an Angel/Judging Amy, Daniel Davis from Highway to Heaven/Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/Duckman/Rugrats/Frasier/Gotham, Rick Ducommun from Spaceballs/Die Hard 001/Gremlins 002//Thelast boyn scout/Encino man/Groundhog Day/The Last Action Hewro/SAcary Movie 001/MVP: Most Valuable Primate, Larry Ferguson from The Last Action Hero, Ronald Guttman from SVU/Law and Order/Criminal Intent/The West Wing/The Good Wife/On the Basis of S=x, On the Basis of Sex, anthony peck from the last action hero.Die Hard, die hard with a begnegnce, Ned Vaughn from Apollo 13, Gates McFadden from Labrynth/Star Trek Generations/Party of Five/Family Guy/Peter Jason from Mommie Dearest/The Karate Kid/Prince of Darkness/Arachnophobia(thATS RACISAT AGAINST SPIDERS! wHAT IF I MADE A MOVIE ABOTU MUTANT HYBRID ITALIANO TAKING OVE?!)Marked for Death/Village of the D===ed/Congo/Mortal Kombat 01/The Glimmer Man/Ghosts of Mars/Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom/Batman: The Animated Series/Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman/Pinky and the Brain/Batman Beyond/Jackie Chan Adventures/Desperate Housewives/Gears of War 2/3, and a few others not on candy a55 c-ck suck wikipedia

i never saw this but heard the name often

after logo we get text satying how in 84 this soviet subn went under and had raDIO ACTIVITY AND SOME CREW EWWRE RESCUSED

they its a a soviet base and sean connery is a soviet despite being a scot, which is ciltural appropriation

then hes on a nucular sub and we get title ands creitdss to societ msuic

then john travolta looking alec baldinw says bye to his fam and goes on a mkssion

on da plane he wont sleep as he dont like turbulance and after landing goes to a govb base to meet darth vader from coann

so da red ocvtover is a nucular sub that has a high rank captain in charge and it has special doors on it they dont know what they do

alec wants to show the photoes of it to some guy and jim jones sez 1 guy lost a leg doing something

SO LATER THERES AN Americano sub in the boundless abyss of the sea and looking for cr-p and the black guy is training the newer guy how to sonar

the black guy is all big bang nerdy and into classical music and they sense something ahead

meanwhile, the soviets are spazzing around and cAPTAIN IS told off by a guy who sez he cares for the bible i mean the people and dont care for privacy and readys the bible then switches to English about the guy who made the nuke in the 40s

sean sez he keeps the bible as a memento of his wife and this is his boat but the officer sez the ship belongs to the people of the ussr

sean gets his orders and its in a lock safe and it sez to meet anothe rsub of a guy who sean taught b4 and likes him

officer wants to tell the crew so sean kills him with his bare hands as in an age of technology, the deadliest weapon is the human body

then he bruns the orders and calls the dr and sez "there was an accudent" like ep stein or j fk or diana

then in an americano shipyard they are making a rescue sub and editing it to lock on with any other sub like sonic and saakncukllews

alic worries of what the doors on the red october might unleash and ed roony from ferris buelar sez it miught be a silent probe that sounds like whales bn0ning to sonar

at 12 ed's dad made a nuke shelter as the sovciets put nukes in commie cuba and this soviet guy might do worse

tim curry from 90s cr-p sez they cant go on w/o a gov guy and political officer and sean takes his nuke key and gives it to himself for the others to see

tim worries about this as now 1 man can fire nukes instead of 2 and as theres radio silence ordered, they cant call back

the Americano Subbo get a fax machine post and it sez there sa new sub

there being 2 keys and 1 having both is like the zelda 870s cartoon with the triforce

seanconners tells his orders to the crew and sez they are going against the Americans and have the edge now like with the sputnik

they do the silent drive and are gonna slip past their own fleet who dont know what they can do and will sneak past the Americans to go to their space and do missile drills

when the silent drive jet starts the american sub detects a blip and the soviets sing societ songs

the black guy sez the soviet sub vanished and he heard singing

in zee ussr, this guy whos a big high rank homie comes in and gets a letter from marko ramias and drops his vodka

alec baldwin, who is gonna get into p0rmn0 and be phalec baldwin, gets a call and meets jim jones and is told the soviets have silent propilsion working

they go to see the prez's secrutity advicor and phalec has to tell them what the sub can do as he knows it best

he tells em this huge a55 sub thats as big as an aircradft carrier has silent engines that their captain ramias whos sean connery is doing it and can be undetected by their systems

just use  psycjics or ki sense to detect them

the americans used psychuc spuies in the cold war

then the sovies are sending a buncha subs across the atlantic and none in the good ocean and it could be an exercise

also seans wifes uncle is there iin the meeting room i think or maybe not but alec recognices him on a photo or w./e

so the gov wants to sink the red october and alec realizes somethign and sez "yuu sunnova b-==ch!" and says sean might wanna defect as hes lithuwanian and has no fam in the ussr

also he has trained  a lot of soviets whos loyal to him and its the 1 year since his wife got iced

the politician there clears the room and tells off phalec over his ideas and wait, he sez i mean asks what to do about it

phalec sez to try an inspection and try to help them and contact sean as phalec actually met him b4

pohalec is given 3 days to prove it or the gov will end sean connery and policiosticn dont wanna risk his own men

so da soviets are told they gotta sink the rewd octioober and the crewof the red octoober worry that the gov agent is murdered and the crew might mutrany

sean sez after reacbning the new world, Cortez burned his ships and hes going all the way and isnt worried

also sean sent a message in his letteer to the soviet high status guy and i think it said hes defecting and his men dopnt like that as they'd be onto em, but he nows what the sovietys doo

black guy managed to use the sonar or w/e to anaylze the sound the silent running thing did and by running it at 10x speed, he found what it was and can track it

with adds its like an hour in, that felt like nothing

so he figures its heading for iceland  coast and the maga displacement he scanned was actually the soviet silent sub

so fred dalton thompson from law and order ez trhey gotta make it so the soviets dont think they got the sub and dont start ww3 like people saidf back door biden would

after phalec leaves , fre dsez pjhaelc got f'd in a chjopper accident and spent years relearning how to walk and was in traction for a year so hes a good fighyer

so the soviets go on and recalculate their route and the sean overdid the nucular reactors to overload so to give em a break, they go to propellors

so a soviet party memnber goes to the ameircans and sez their sub went missing and it has many sons  of high rank party members and needs America to rescue trhem

the american counterpart agrees to a joint rescuer mission and by iceland is a soviet anti sub craft

theres a sub nearing them and it gets close and near the break wait its heading for the weall of rock, and they turn close and a torpedo heading for them misses them and hits the wall

this huge slow moving metal d0ng gradually turning was made to be action packed

sean thinks someone sabutages the boat and to be on guard and phalec wonders how to make a crew wanna get off a nucular sub

phaelec sees that the soviets are trying to send the red october to the sovioet subs near them and ambush him

also this was only rated pg in america but was 13+ in  artgentina/malasia/phillieones/taiwan/trkey as they are candy a55 c=lk suckers

you dont NEED to make it r rated or even pg13 to be good, tell a story, dont worry about the age limits

so plhalec balwdin wants to get on the sub chasing red ovtober and a plane slams into the carrier phalec is on and he's sent out in a chopper to the americano sub with the black guy from law and order criminal intent

the head of the amewricano sub saez he saw a mermaid,. a shark ean an octopus and never a phantom soviet sub

hje saw a f=-=kin mermaid?! thats a story to follow!

seran is told the crew knoes of the sabotager and are scared and they are soviets so thats somnething

sam neil ants to live in amnerica and marry an American woman and raise rabbits and drive a pick up truck and drive from state to state and is surpirzed san sez he dont need papers to do so

sam also wants a 2nd wife and to live in arizona but rudy vlaentino was arrwssted for that and was mo lested in jail

the amceican sub sees something and worried of bumping nto the societ sub

sean goes on about his past and how his woman bvit it when he was at sea and i assume hshe was iced by the societs

so phaelc baledon is lowered on to the sub by a harness in a cold storm and falls in the artic sea

so after somehow getting him up they bring him in and he looks like david schwimmer all devolved like that by the water

the sovuet party guy tells his american compriority and sez sean is gone nuts and is gonna attck with missiles and the soviuets want the americans to end him

phaelic balwdin whos jack ryan tells em that the ship guys are gonna defect and b4 he tells da captain, the captyain is gonna fight the sub

also in the book was the brit navy involved but here they cleaned it up so none of those candya55es with devolved teeth ruin this film

violence jack archer i mean ryan i mean baker i mean ryan tells captain that sean is gonna defect and the soviets want him dead and he know him and tells capotain not to end sean

jackie ryano sez saen always turns left at some time and the sub starts tu turn and both subs prepart to fire on each other

sean tells his men to ready the tubes but not to open the doors and ready the computer

the americans see hes not opened the doors to fire and they rise to the surface

jackson polack sends a message to sean asking if hes gonna use missiles and sean respondes with a singhle ping to acknlowege

jack-oh sends a message to go to this place and jack sez he didnt klnow sean would turn left but had a 50/50 chance at a guess

sean sends a 1 ping to replay i mean replyu and heads for this abyssal oplace

this 1 soviet guy on there dont like this and sabotages the ship so a smoke alarm goes off

wait its a nucular damage and its irradiating the shiup and they have 4-6 hours so they gotta evacuate

tim curry from the mighty ducks and mighty max sez there wassabotage an sean sez "Who mentioned sabutage?" so they ditch the ship

arent they irradiated? if they go on wont they poison others?

nucular aids!

so another ship is heading for them and itd an american frigate

the soviets leave the ship in rafts and a torpedo is firted and said to have hit the red octovber and sank it

as the soviets come across in rafts the americano sub goes to see the soviet one and its freakin huge!

like the dfg 1 or something from robotech!(i mean sdf 1)

its like comparing a cycloine to a zentraedi!

so the american sub links to the soviet one like sonic 2 and sonic and knuckles and they hammer the lip and it opens and they go in

best idea; audio for the sonic and knuckles lock on technolkogy and video of a b0-ner heading for a butt!

violkecne jack goes on the ship and meets the soviets and 1 offers falec baldwin a smoke

baack in soviet poland, my grandpa smoked european faegs, but didn;'t liek american ones so he quit after coming tyo the 1st world. died of heart failure

phaelic baldwin and sean talk in each others languages and phaelic sez he remembers him from a dinner

sean asks why fire on them and he sez to keep up the illusion of being enemies and he guessed that their reactor accident was false

it was false and he got lucky and sean asks for assuylum to america and more torpedoes are heading for em

its the invid! they'vbe come for the protoculture!

so the americans stay on the soviet sub and the rescue sub detaches and sean weants jack to help

jack sez he only writes books for the agency of intelligence and isnt a naval officer and sean uses him anyway

sean sez to do right 3 1 5 and captain of american sub sez dont and it turns out its right in the tordpoedos path

gotta say, this is more exciting than a star wars battle as this is good tension and drama, instead of a cgi mess of lasers and asplosions

sean asks what jack wrote and he sez a bio on admild halsey and sean sez "i read that, u were all wroing"

as sean headed toward the torpedo, it hit b4 it could arm itself and came apart, so now the enemy is gonna disable the safety of his torpedoes

the american ship cant  fire on the soviets w/o authorization and the red october has to dface this on its own

then someone opens fire on them in the sub and they dont see who and sam neil gets it in the chest

if only he was raspiutin and could survive, or teddy roosevelt, he walked off a bullet

the sabotager went to the missiale bay and is gonna blow themn all to h e doubel soviety england

sean and jack go after him and captan gives sean a firearm

sean takes one in the shoulder and jack goes in with the nukes as the bad guy fires on him

red october goes on and jack goes up on a metal wire floor above the area and drips a light that makes the sabotager fire on him but misses and hits a  pipe that spills cr-p on him

another torpedo is fired and a rescue su draws it away and drops chaffe tio draw and blow it

wait the torpedo went off course and went searching for anothe rtarget

also tis weird 80s cgi

so jack sees the sabotager and its da cook and hes got the wires and is gonna blow em back to h-ll but jack empties his gun into him

rescue sub goes arounf and gets the soviet sub that fired it and the crew on the surface thinks the red october sacriviced itcslt

the soviet party guy thinks the red october went under and says maybe in the future we can salvage it with tehc, aldso anothe rsub went under

the real red october survived and jack archer or ryen has the sean cullen hide it in a river far froim naval bases and sean sez the red october was made to hit America 1st tyo end the conflist

jack and sean talk about their love  of fishing and sean quotes Columbus

phalec balwdin sez "welcomme to the new world" and takes a plane trip and sleeps

the end

that was quite good

nice story and characters

good wreiting and editing

and its got goof action without being a cgi mess of flashing lights and green screen

its partly written by john millius and hes always good

i never knew anything of jack reacher and this was a well made film that has good style and substance

its kinda long but it doesnt feel it like titanic

its mostly clean and has better drama and action than most films today and holds up well

For The Hunt For Red October 2 I want Sean Connory to give the Americans info on the soviets planning a mission to the North Pole to find the Hollow Earth Passage and that's the Real reason the Soviets made the ship. So Sean and Jack go on a mission to get there b4 the soviets and face the WWw2 Germans who stayed up there since the 40s and have maDE A PACT WITH THE DAEMONS WHO LIVE THERE and are working toprepare a counter attack and have been breeding with the daemons there for decades to grow a hybrid species of soldiers and haVE AMOST ENOUGH TO TAKE ON aMERICA and after finding this out, Jacxk and the Soviet Sean go to escape from the north pole area asnd take on soviets and Germans and Hybrids and daemons, A;lso the Sub has a hidden feature to transform into a Mech Forme and Fly asnd Fight. Its ALSO a 16 bit shmup in o mean on sega genesis, snes, tg16, gba and atari jaguar

Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer Review

Note: I spell rainbowly i meAN BRIGHTLT i mean bruightly

Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer

This is my review on Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer from the distant future year to Buster Keaton of 1985(20 years b4 Transformers The Movie happened)

Its based on a Hallmark Cards cagharcter and is done by Dic and they did stiff like Inspectror Gadget and Care Bears, wait, thats nelvana

Its directed by Kimio Yabuki who did some eps of the Go Nagai Classic Dororon Enma-kun 

It stars Bettina Bush from Rugrats/ All Grown Up!, Pat Fraley from Monsters, Inc./Princess Mononoke/Toy Story 2/the tv cartoon Aladdin/Alvin and the Chipmunks/Batman: The Animated Series/Biker Mice from Mars/Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventures/Bobby's World/Bonkers/Bubsey the 90s cartoon/the 90s Casper/Cow and Chicken/CBS Storybreak/Darkwing Duck/DuckTales/Extreme Ghostbusters/G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero/Garfield and Friends/Gargoyles/Goof Troop/King of the Hill/Men in B|ack: The Animated Series/Muppet Babies/My Life as a Teenage Robot/ the Problem Child cartoon/Quack Pack (Ducktales GT)/the 90s Richie Rich/Sonic the Hedgehog (SatAM)/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tthe 80s one/The Addams Family  900s cartoon/Angry Beavers/Fairly OddParents/The Flintstone Kids/The Glo Friends/The Jetsons/The Secret Files of the Spy Dogs/The Smurfs 90s one cartoon/The Mask: The Animated Series/The Tick/The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat/Tom and Jerry Kids/the 90s Woody Woodpecker/Timon and Pumbaa/Tiny Toon Adventures/X-Men: Pryde of the X-Men, Peter Cullen from the 70s King Kong/Gremlins/The Transformers/G.I. Joe/Predator/Treasure Planet/The Smurfs/the 80s Dungeons & Dragons cartoon/Alvin and the Chipmunks/The Jetsons/Robo Force: The Revenge of Nazgar/Ghostbusters the 80s cartoon, wait, i think its the fi;lmsation one/DuckTales/The Real Ghostbusters/Winnie the Pooh/the 90s i mean 80s rttmnt/Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers/TaleSpin/Tom & Jerry Kids/The Pirates of Dark Water/Bonkers, Andre Stojka from The Emperor's New Groove/The Jetsons/Bobby's World/The Pirates of Dark Water/Winnie the Pooh/Men in B|ack/Darkwing Duck/House of Mouse/The Pirates of Dark Water/Cow and Chicken, David Mendenhall fro,m The Smurfs Christmas Special/the 80s The Berenstain Bears/G.I. Joe/CBS Storybreak/The Transformers, Les Tremayne from the 50s The War of the Worlds/Forbidden Planet/From the Earth to the Moon, Mona Marshall from Jungle De Ikou!/Digimon/Apocalypse Zero/.hack//Sign\Naruto/Battle B-Daman/B-Daman Crossfire/Bleach/Eiken/Flint the Time Detective/Idaten Jump/Macross Plus/MÄR/Tranzor Z/Zatch Bell!/South Park/All Grown Up!/CBS Storybreak/G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero/Jackie Chan Adventures/Rocket Power (which was f==kin sh-t!!!!)/Rugrats/The Smurfs/ransformers/Monsters, Inc./Spirited Away/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/Treasure Planet/Wreck-It Ralph, Jonathan Harris from The Angry Beavers/the 90s Spider-Man/Extreme Ghostbusters/Superman: The Animated Series/The Mask/Freakazoid!/the cartton of Mighty Ducks/da 90z Casper karoon/Darkwing Duck/the 90s Paddington Bear well, 89 90/the 60e Twilight Zone/Toy Story 2/A Bug's Life, Scott Menville from Ernest Goes to Camp/The Wonder Years/Sonic Christmas Blast/The Land Before Time III: The Time of the Great Giving/ParaNorman/The Flintstone Kids/The Real Ghostbusters/Fox's Peter Pan & the Pirates/Captain Planet and the Planeteers/Rugrats/Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog/Where on Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?/Freakazoid!/Cow and Chicken/Superman: The Animated Series/The Powerpuff Girls/The Wild Thornberrys (good f--k thsat show was devolved)/Ninja Scroll: The Series/Rocket Power/Totally Spies!/Justice League/Teen Titans (f that show, its cr-p!)/Zatch Bell!/American Dad!/All Grown Up!/Avatar: The Last Airbender (not as goood as evetyone thinks)/My Life as a Teenage Robot/Batman: The Brave and the Bold/the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/We Bare Bears/Star vs. the Forces of Evil/Tales of Symphonia, Charlie Adler from Trandssformers/G.I. Joe/The Little Mermaid/DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp/The Rescuers Down Under/The Prince and the Pauper/Aladdin\Rugrats/Stuart Little 3: Call of the Wild/The Smurfs\The Glo Friends\The Flintstone Kids\The Real Ghostbusters\DuckTales\/Paddington Bear/Tiny Toon Adventures\TaleSpin/Tom & Jerry Kids/Bobby's World/Darkwing Duck/Captain Planet and the Planeteers/Goof Troop/Super Dave: Daredevil for Hire/Eek! The Cat/Biker Mice from Mars/Mighty Max/the cartoon Problem Child/Bonkers/Sonic the Hedgehog sat am/Rocko's Modern Life/the carytoon Aladdin show/Duckman//Aaahh!!! Real Monsters/What-a-Mess/Santo Bugito/Earthwom Jim/The Mask: Animated Series/The Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat/Timon & Pumbaa/The Spooktacular New Adventures of Casper/The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest/Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series/Quack Pack/The Tick\Freakazoid\Bruno the Kid/Extreme Ghostbusters/Men in B|ack: The Series/Cow and Chicken/Space Goofs/Mad Jack the Pirate/Toonsylvania\Hey Arnold!/Johnny Bravo/Rugrats\The Wild Thornberrys\As Told by Ginger (ew!)/The New Woody Woodpecker Show/Rocket Power/All Grown Up/Rocket Powwer/ i mean dAve The Bsarbarian/The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius (i didnt care for it)/Loonatics Unleashed/El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera/Wolverine and the X-Men/The Super Hero Squad Show/Word Girl\Ultimate Spider-Man/Harley Quinn/Baldur's Gate II, and a few not on wikipedea as wikipedia is cr-ppy and gets everytging wrong

I never saw this b4 but my gf liikes it and i hear it did well

so after logos we get this 80s castle and thsi red haired chick is being bratty and wants this diamond but its needed to keep the universe from being destoryed

she had her goons take this muppet away and shes a queen and wont let anyone stiopo her as shes a royal and thus evil

this i meAN THEN IN THIS COLORFUL LAND OF RAINBOW STREAMSD AND GREEN HILLS ZONES WE GTE THE TITLE AND CREwedinds credits

oof its mucic my haim sababnand shuiki levy

this hhair rainbow bhorxze is stung by a bug and is glad its spring and sings an 80s ballad

shopuldnt the bug die from stinging him?

oh and its in proper fullscreen and has actual bright color and light

so thhrese midgets or kids wo o m eanm or w/e come out in this cave castle and sing about doing work

also is a yellow winged butterfly going around and i assume its a big part, as no one suspercts the buttergfly

rainbow brite wakes up and looks like a fusuin of sailor moon and the wizard of oz

she uses a star thing and blasts a rainbow like that bubble bobble game i hate and it colors the butterflys wings and then blasts more colors and it spreads in the land

she sez"everyone on earth is waiting for spingr" which is off as hald i mean lahn i mean half the planet is in fall at srping

so sher gets on the horse and rides a rainbow bridge like in yugioh d5ds and the nordic gods and goes with this small thiung meant to sell toys

then this caveman thing comes out and has a long phaIIic nosde like hook nosed harold from the fat albert paroidy in animaniacs and rides in a mad max car from thsi dingy cave

he wortksd for this evil midget and the midget weants to stoip rainbopw brite form making things beautiful for some reason

he wants to rule rainbow land and wants to get rid of the colors, which makes no sense, why take over something you hate?

itys like the commies trying to take over america as they hate Fredom and Sanity

oh and the nose guy seems a bit rety-rded and falls on the bad guy for i mean from smelling his poison cloud and the machine that made it rolls off

he calls him banana brain as i assume its another b0ner ref

it goes down the trail and b0ner n0se chases it in his mad max movile

the rainbow bridge goes up to the storm cloud and shge goes up to stop stormy from making winter

dude, i love winter, you can make things outta snow, go sledding, skiing and its cold enuff to wear your cool leather jacket

plus all the plants buirds and bugs go back to h e double mexico

so strormy summins her big ba i mean black horse and its like kuokuto i mean kokuoh go from hokuto no ken and runs off so rainbow chases

so stormy wants alkl year winter and her horse hoofs mnake thinder and storms and rainbows horse outruins her and leaves the cloud and stormy is bummed winter is over

in the human realm or ningenkai in urotsukidoji, tis snowy abnd this kid is caved i measn saved by rainbow brights rainbow as his bike skids out and she sez hes the only human who can see her

she uses her rainbo and it does jack sh-t as the star sarpinkles are titrd i eman tired for some reason

if theres no strping things might get f;d and they go back and to rainbow land to fix it

so the evil midget and b0nose get the machine and he spazzes out and fallsmoff the cliff and the machine breaks

b0nose and him see a shooting star (dragon in attack mode?) and it slams into the planet and b0nose and midged go chesck it out

a big black robo horse coimes out and b0n0rose wants to riude it and it wants rainbow brite

evil midget sez hes raintbow and it dont buy it and it sez it needs to tell her of the diamond

edil midget wants in and tells where the rainbowbitrr is and it goes off without them so the bad guys go after it in their car like barts from hokuto noi ken

to roborse comes to the town and the people there check it out and then comes rainowb brigvght

the comic bad  guys lissten in and the roborse is kinda spazzy and trys to say something about rdanger and they hear of the diamond planet that all da light in da universe goes through

comic bad guys go offg b54 the mexzage is finished and they wanna get there 1st to rud i  ean i mean rid the universe of clordf i mean color

looking at movies from the 2010s, they seem to have won

so as the universe will die if she dont save the diamond and the diamond thing might have f;'d the strar powert she uses, wait, then the whole univewrse is going toi die? ike with dbz?!

so roborse sez oren sez rainbow bighte is her i mean the only hope like in sar wars and the atrea goes tinted darker like a western saying its ngih t instead of clearly birght day

so roborse goes off abnd bnrite leaves twiunk in cgharge and stoirmy teams up with rainbow as she wants to heklp make things colorful

she has to go to spectra to save it cuz if it diers, so does evertyone

roborse flies off and rainbow goes off on a raiunbow bridge on her horse like he mans sister

the comnic bad guys make a rocket and its made of cr-ppy junk and flies off eventually

i gotta sayt, i love the art and animation. its got color and life and good movement

so rainbow and roborse finds the spectra and its part covefed over by daRKNESS AND IIF THEY DONT STOP IT, ALL LIFE ON EARTTH WILL DUIE

KINDA HEAVY FOr a kids movie

nowadays they'd say something like "they'd lose their feelings" or something gay

in the 80s you could kill guys

look at hokutoi no ken and saint seiya

now we got pokemon where they iced piokemon hunter j and thats it

even transformers had the gon=ds to ice half the cast ih the movie

then we got batman beyond with a f==kin bodycount

better than cr-ppy a55 teen titans where "terra was turned to stone"

h=ll, the smurfs had an ep where smurfetttes pet got iced

anbnd robotech had f==kin genocide! planets getting gang nuked! kids obliterated!

remember when dinobot died in beast wwars? that was art!

now we got the gay care bears where they gave em a;ll gaijin accents and no ones really bad, only misunderstood

so rainbow and roborse get to this ice place abnd theres these ewok things cleaning it and shedding off the light

wait, they are putting a net on it and its blocking the light

also they never heard of earth and find the karbarrans are some of em pyhypnotices

brite tries to take off da net and these gold giolems coime by and catch brites horse in a net but roborse blasts the net off

showuldent that blast kill the fhorse?

so they run and hide and the jet force jenmini thiungs are ensklaved by as i mean en

1 is free but is zapped withg a pmind cointrol thing and is now enslaved

roborse looks for chris who's his friend and thety find an igloo where he was but aint now

the gold golemns called glitterbits i mean bots come after em and rainbows horse fakes being a net workerand 1 bot poops a long rope outta its chim i meabn chin

they see rainbow working and are gonna slave beam gue i mean her and roborse blocks it

raiinbow makes bootuies for her horse so he can run on the surface, aklthough why not use the rainbow road?

the booties are made of da net and they escape and the comic bad guys show up in their cr-p shuttle that looks like thatr  aligator head leather winged monster in the 1800s said tio be a thunderbird

they got this smoke machine thast spazzes people out and wanna use it on rainbow brught and get da diamond later

rainbow escapes the glitterbots and jump in the water but her steed can't do it well so he gets her in a boad and is goinna send her off bjt gets in the boat anyway

theres no oars or sailsd so roborse riockets it behind enm

they get to a waterfall and roborse iftes i mean liifts the end of da boat with its head and the rainbow can't get through

so roborse carries it over and drops en on ground and the music at the wwaterfall was kinda dbz

then this guy comes out in a space armor and its chris and he sent the roborse named onyx

hes the last survivor and sez the bprincess is doing this cr-p to own spectra and dont like rainbow bright for being a girl

what about sheena in cntra hard corps, tyrus in golden axe or mai shiranui? thety kicked a55

so he rides roborse and rainbow rides a bifrost bridge to the sky

the comic villians are revealed as b0nose ret-rdedly runs out to tell the bots where they are when  the midgwet sez "why not tell em where we ae" i meabn are

theysee rainbow bruights rainbow bridge and go after it and on earth the place is frozen over and the biurth rate is dowb nd everyones gettinmg depressed

the news repoerted i mean reporter can't taker it and pulls out a revolkver then puts it in his mouth and blows the top of his skull off in a splatter of braiuns in the back of the wall

jk reall he gives up and walks off

the kid can''t i mean gets a key and used it on a door to open him to rainbowland

but it does jack sh-t and jack is j-rkin off on a pile of sh-t

the key was given to him to open any toor i mean door to get to rauinbow land

on the spectrum z d the rainbow and boy go up to this castle and the princess sees en and wants em disposed of aas theyt never bring good presents

a purpople wind blows and theyy tough through it

then their skin stars stretching and tears off until they are s i mean a flesh covered skeleton each and stioll walking

jk really the bridge vanishes behind em and the rainbow horse doesnt use his rainbow thing for some reason

so the bridge pulls em towards a spike wall and they open the bigh a55 doors and come in

these dark frog things come from da floor and look like the goons in kingdom hearts, thenfuse into a big one

brite blasts a rainbow from her belt on its face like in superman 02 and they run as princess wants her belt

they falll down a floor trap door and in a slide andwind up in a n elevatorthats a gold cagwe and they press a button to go up

they get to da top floor aND MEET DA PRINCESDX who wants a present and wants her belt

she also cares for a green jewel that she sez chris yelling frightens like those dinks who have emotional support animals

rainbow sez to lerave spectra alone and princess bering a  millennial gen z malcontent, gets triggered by someone saying no to her

they have a ki blast thing and rainbow uses her belt to zap princesses jewel

chris breaks free of the beardo guard and gets beamed bacvk and both are knocked out by princesses blsacxk magic

princess takes da belt and throwsa em in the dungeion and they blame each other for it but see they might not save the day

brite believes with her kattobingu spirit andin rainbow.land the guys are tryinbg to make colors by mining jewels

wghat if da jewels run out? are they natually produced in the mnines? like abiotic oil?

then in the dungeon, onyx comes in and truies ramming the wall and brite tells him to hget rainbows horse who cant fly w/oi her rainbow

raiinbow horse has onyx fly around to draw therm and rianbow horse sneaks around

the bad guys laser blast onyx and princess spazzes out and gets b--chy

rainbow horse uses the elevator and princess activates the elevator to go to the dungeon and use chros as a hiostage

rainbowse comes in and takes the belt and escapes weait, he dont he throws the belt over the side and onyx gets it to the dungeon

onyx cant come in the dnfeon as he has no limbs andf flies up, drops it, then hits it in maid air with a tap to send it in the window

waindonw hrose gets shoves off the edge of the balcone and rainbow uses her belt to escape and gave i mean save him and ride on

also the princess castle is kinda like the borg cube

wehat if i mean in the name f h=ll?! this got 0 % on rotten tomatores and 0 stars in guaides?!

i liked this

maybe its cuz tv and movies have devolved but this is a pretty entertaining film to me

also imdo i mean imdb has it at 6/.7 outta 10 stars

and according to imdb, was produced in 3 months?!

food i mean good f-==k thats epic

and its actually well animated and voiced

so raintbow and chris need more power and the pirncess, who is in black and redf like vampire hunter D or darth vader, used the diamond to fire a bewam at the heroes to banish them

they trey to escape and the rainbow road is hit and the thing turnd into a vortex

rainbow dash is suck in it and krys trues to escape but is sucked back

so ity sendsa em to soem hokuto no kem like place and rainbows poersa is used up

these imperiel guys try to zap her belt off however it has some power left and this tropp i meal troll guy and some bots catch the horse and trap rainbow and kyues and on z i mean on-x in a cage

he renameds the hrose fromstarlight to crusader and i guess its like toby in roots

on x cant break the bars but caN BREAK THE ROCK BEHIND THEM AND THEY FLY OFF AND THIS GEEZER COUPLE SEES AM I MEAN em adn recalls trying to escape

f off caps lock, get b0ned dead by a big black forse i mean horse like in hokuto no ken 2

so the comic bad guys are there somehow and evade the bots and somehow the princess tells the troll guyn tyhe prisoners escaped

how did she know?W! is she having a sauron erye thing going?!

so brite and kyrs get caught by these sasquatch things and wait they are lizard guys like the elites in charge

on x is busted by the lizardo somehow and rainbow brite gets away in a crevasse and into a under water cave

i mewan underground underwater czve and the lizard guys are there and she sneaks around and climbs up

those lizard guys look like the guys from that abc show dinosaurs by jim henson

they catch on to her and this guy from the begiunning shows her where the star strpinjle is and she recharges her belt and and blasts a dino man away

the dino men change o mena i mean charge and bust the cage i mean cave with their hands and it caves in on em

so da muppet guy from the start has brite use her rainbow to get em out aND MUPPET SEZ HE KNEW i mean he sended the horse on x

b4 she aves the universe she has to save her friends and the muppet knew someone rainbow knows

the muppetmreveals he has an item for kyrs to become the warrior he weas made to be and it needs rainbows power

so the bad guys caught the comic bad guys and rainbow comes in with hger briege rainbow, saves the horse, and gives krys the combo thing for his writst

starlight sez Tension to get the bots to stop and rainbow sends her rainbow to the arm item and he uses it to fuire elemental beams like heat and ice and freezes the troll guy

the comic bad guys are caught and rainbow and krys head back to the princess

but somehow, the comic bad guysd got there 1st as prisoners and princess ezs they arent the ones she wanted

midget has a present and sez its that hes gonna get her rainbow brite, kinda like the decepticonms teaming up foir work with unicrom i mean unicron

midget sez he never beat her as she i mean he wanteds troi d i neam i mean find all her belts and sez she has more

they are sent to save her and are actually gonna get the diamond

so theere s  i eman a ship of the princess heading for spectre and the muppet sez to destroy ther majik jewel that powers the princess

also thhey are on a space co i mean rockand muppet sends em to this wqheel thing to bust her stone

muppet needs to use the on x and krys and brite need to team up to stop the bad guys

they return to the castle ,ike the 3rd time with the starlight horse and go up a water wheel to get in, wait its a hean i mean gear

they leave the horse for some reason as they think its not save i mean dane i mean safe and they jump onto a bar by it

the porincess is making a new ship to take the diamond of spectrea and use a big a55 net on it and on the castle, the poipe the heroes are on breaks and they jump into a water spount

the horse goes in the wheel to help despitre not knowing they might be in danger and the heroes face a der i mean red monster in the wzter pipe

ktrus uses his beam to pop it into copored figh i mean fish like hes popeye

starlight jumpts from the wheel ger to the weood bridge and rainbow and krys are in the castle and lloking around

the muppet named orin or w/e are i eman is on the ice thing and cutting the nets oin it with 1 guy not mind controlled

the hiuman is on eARTH IN A BLIZZERD  I EMAN in his home with a blizzard and believing in rainbow bright

krys and raimnbow bust guards with theur powers and the comic villians are heading for some planet

rianbow and rkys are at the princess castle and face her in her thronwe room and princess trapspraimnbow in a pruple or pink enenrgy sphere

she rainbow blasts outta it and krysadds his ki attack to beat the pun enerty

he goes to i mean for the jewel and is blasted back but the comic villains bust in and slam their ship into her thro e room

rainbow and krys use thei blasts on her diamond and it turns greay and shatters and the castle starts crubmling like with garlic jrs castle

princess runs out with her green emotional support enmerald and i guess she's doine and wont be back so we dont carer whant she does next

so the comic midget bad guy murlky i mean murky has a non realistic gun aimed at rianbow brite and starlkight comes in

murky fired  on him but its only smoke and starlight didges and kicks the shipa nd they fall off the cliff to provbably f==king die

the enemy shup coems to catch the spectras and princess is in it as they let her goe like a dumba55 instard of putting 2 in the head and on tyhe spectra, the karbarrans have overthworn the bots 

princess's ship has  ran outta fuel so she thrwos her emotional support jewel on i  eanm in the over i mean oven fuirnace and is gonna slam into the diamond to shatter it

not sure a metal ship can brwak a diamond planet

but rainbow bright uses her rainbow and knowcks the enemy ship on a kamikaze mission off and it blows apart and f--kling jkills her

boom . shes hdeaD , SHE WENT TO H-LL

so light returns and the earth is sunny and the magic returned

btw stormy did jack sh-t in this mvoie

so rainbow and krys come to rainbow land and krys has tajkes off his helmet and has a huge afro mohawk and it poofs out from under his pressurized helmsdt

jk hes normal and this isnt mad max

stormy coems back from doign who know what the whole movie and the muppet orin and on x comes by and the universe is saved and they have hiopa i mean hope again

krus gets on x and he;'s gonna be big and buff in the next movie and use ki blasts to hit people pressure points to stoip them from beating him so he wont have to get off his big black horse

so they vow to keep the uiniverse bright and beautiful forever and in space, somehow murky and lkureky his b0nor n0se minion are aliove somehow and lookign for rainbowland

then creditys and its colored and sinfgs a SONG ABOUT HAVING FRIENDS AND BEING HAPPY AND POSITIVE

holy f peter cullen was murky?! hes  got rainge!

man theres a lot of japoanese guys in the credits

and like avaratr the las air bender, tis not anime

like batman tas, animaniuacs, spiderman tas and robotech ii the sentinels, oh and g i joe and transformers and thundercats

appresntice editor; john bonecutter, [post production assistant; karen cockrell

is this a p0rnio?! maybe masd max

the end

that was actually not bad

i enjoyed it

nice live colors and heart and positivity and its not all bummer or malcontent or bitter

ther mnain bad guy is a spoilerd brat like most teens and 30 year old teens today who whine abotu everuythign and weant evertything handed to them

rainbow bright is cool and krys is brave

its has heart and hope and ight and shows if we stand together we can beat the brats and malcontents

yeah its not super deep or meaningful and has a lot of logic weroors

but its not ruining of it

its still enjoyable and if u remember 80s movies and shows, this is for you

its good at showing the dangers of being a selfish b--ch and how getting ur own way at the expence of other is not good

a lesxzon todays diunks need

growing up with care bears and beetlejuice , this seems pretty comfortable

for weait, i almost forgot, theres no star stealer or star stealing! the title is a lie! liek angles and demons with soviet tiom handfks

for Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer 2 i want the princes rto return wait, i almost fortgot, i wrote this whole thingh without using backspace, i kept all the cr-ppy errors in! so anyoen i mean anyway

for Rainbow Brite And The Star Stealer 2 i wanty the pricness to have survived and is mostly obliterated, but her emoptional support genm saved her and fuised with hjer and now she's part jem and has the blown off parts of her replaced with emerald stone. she coomes down to rainbopw land and teraps the peope, in jepms i mean jemps i mean jems and rainbow brite is caught, so stormy has to save the day by finding the rainmbow key jewels in the 7 temples. also its a 16 bit game like zelda or crusader of centy where you play as stormy and go around with a hammer made of solid light and go around the dungeons and beat the guardians to proive your wotthi mean worth. its on sega genesis, snes, tg16 atari jaguar and gba.

Reasonable Doubt Review

Note; i spell doubtful

Reasonable Doubt

this is my review on Reasonable Doubt from the distant future year of 2014 (The year fo the 1st Robotech War and Malcontent uporisings)

I never saw this but its on True Real and theres nothing better on

Its directl by Peter Howitt who did nothing I saw

It stars Dominic Cooper from: From h=ll/Mamma Mia!/Captain America: The First Avenger/Dracula Untold, Samuel L. Jackson from Coming to America/Do the Right Thing/Jurassic Park 001/Pulp Fiction/Die Hard with a Vengeance/A Time to Kill/Jackie Brown/Sphere/Star Wars 01 02 and 03/Deep Blue Sea/Shaft(the 4th one)/Unbreakable/XXX/Kill Bill: Volume 2/The Incredibles/Astro Boy/Captain America: The First Avenger/The Avengers/RoboCop (2014 ver)/The Legend of Tarzan/Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children/Kong: Skull Island/Star wars 09/Law & Order/Ghostwriter/The Boondocks/Afro Samurai/Afro Samurai: Resurrection, Erin Karpluk from the 2002 carrie tv movbie/Flashpoint, Gloria Reuben from Blue bloods/Drop Dead Diva/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Polka Dot Door/Timecop/Shaft(the 4th one), Ryan Robbins from the rocks Walking Tall/Catwoman/Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem/Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem/Warcraft/the 2003 The Twilight Zone/Arctic Air/The Good Doctor/The Twilight Zone, Dylan Taylor from Pure (The Amish Drug Show) and the Far Cry Games I never played, Philippe Brenninkmeyer froom Law and Order, and a buncha guys not on wikipedia

so after like 2 mins of logos we get more logos and kids playing in a smnnowy park

a little blonde girl wanders into the woods and screams and her mom helps her

as they leave theyres a round thing with blood on it

then title and then theres a trial and this main guy is the lawyer who argues to convict but things the guy will gert off easy with a candya66 jufdge

at home he and his woman habve a baby and are good and he goes out

later he and his droogs are out after drinking and gets a collect call from a convict

he sees some homies by hius car when calling a taxi and drives home drunk in icy roads with few people out

Cops go by and instead of stopping his drunk driving, he drives on and the cops startt following him

he pulls into an alley to escape and runs over a guygoes to help him but runs to a payphone so theres no evidence of him being there

he calls and tells the guy who begs him not to gho that hes leaving and ditches him

he just wont do the right thing! he's like mookie from that spike lee movie

So he cleans the car and at hoome throws out the evidence asndf later his woman is mad at him for bringing the car back as he was drunking

it looks like she knew he iced someone but she dont

so the garbageman takes the cr-p and with it the evidence

So the next day the news sez they caught the guy who iced the run over guy and its not main guy but claimed he was helping him

this is turning into that simpsons ep with the quimby kid and the waiter

so main guy looked into it by asking detectives to look for the thing and they think its a case hes on

the accused is samule l jackson and his wife and kid got iced by a home invasion and has evidence on him like blood on his clothes and tools

also theres unsolved homosides and they think hes the one

whhat if he IS the serial killer but not of this 1 guy so they can only get him for this but if tyhey can't, then he gets out and chops up more guys?

so main guy gets the case and talks with sega sammy who sez he dont like being at home from memories of his fam getting choped up

he helps out in groups and often is out but says hes inoocent

the guy who got iced was a child predator like many of hollywood and the media and there's reasons for his blood being in his car from him being in thetre

theres evidence of a call but main guy sez they cant prove it as the caller used a payphone

but claims he "knew" as if he used a cell they'd have his name

so uunless the killer i mean caller, well, both now, comes forward, the sam wiuill get hard time as his defender is cr-ppy

so at trial; main guy asks questiuions of the witness saying "the dfefence will say this is misintetrpretation of evidence and could be a car hit as the caller i mean jacksonian said"

he seems to be trying to get him off whiile staying under the air of attack

sorta like Heero and Trowa fighting Zeches but r=taking out the Mobile Dolls in Gundam Wing

so a witness sez the caller on the recording is a White Male in his 30s from south chicago, not unlike the main guy

good tightrope style, how it geta a bunch of close calls

sorta like that charlie chaplin movie where hes on roller skates and goes to the edge of the hole in the floors a55

also samuel l jackson does well in here by looking sad, ytou feel for hum

later main guys step brother jimmy comes by and wants cr-p but main guy dont like him as he;s a j-rl off and crook

main guy tried to distance himself from jimmy and him parent never maiiresd bimmy parent so they dont got the same name

bimmy sez hes good now but main guy dont buy it

later a detective sees something on a computer and later calls main guy and hes sust=[pcius of her and thinks shes recording him

later he nearly tells his woman but dont

in court da next dae, the defence sez they got a voice match and its bimmy who sez he saw another man run him over in a red suv

samule is found not guilty and asks what about the hit and run driver, but main guy sez he might turn himself in

sam sez; would youi? as tnis movie has fun with thsese little hints that the characters dont know but the audience does, like Robotech II The Sentinels The Comics

latewr sam is in a mall and a greaser is hassling his gf and the mall cops helplater main giuy finds from da news theres a body of some mexzicriminal and hsi head was mashed in and had wounds like the run over guy

main guy returns to the crime scene and has flashbacks and thinks how sammy might have done it after all

over there he fiunds half a cigarette like how sam rips the top half off when he last spoke to him

he resalizes that sammy was tortturing him and when the victim got out, main guy ran him over and when main guy left, sdsammy ended him

so main guy tells him i mean ddetectiive, or dick in 20s slang, that he thinks sammy was not innocent and she dont think its true

this is like frequency with jim caveziel where he saves 1 guy but it leads to a killer going on

so now main guy follows sammy and like a f==kin dumba55, goes in afetr him which if sammy sees him, will know hes into i mean onto him

so he escapes and at night, sammy comes in witha  metal thing bjht he wakes up and thinks its a dream

but in the garage, his door is oipen and there sa a photo of his businbess card with blood on it and it wasn't a dream!

the calls are comming from insiude the house!

main guy goes to a slum or something and gets in as the door is closing from another guy and the guard is on da phone

he goes through thedicks office and searches her computer and leaves his fingerprintds all ofer it

he downloads info by burning it to a cd, which you cpould use a flash drive, and gets out b4 she gets back

ar her printer she finds a paper he left and main guy calls sam

sam wanted to be found not guilty so double jeopardy and now sammy wants main guy to stop coming after him

sam knows main guy was the hit and run guy and sez if main guy trys anything, he'd out main guy forthe hit and run and he'd get after the main guys fam

also he sez men gotta protect theirfams and goes back to work

so main guy talks with a coworker about how he knos sam did it and was tortured and made to watch his fam get chopped up, but survived his neck slicking

so they piece togetehr that he started after the killer chopped up his fam with similar tools sam uses, and the killer got capped by a GOOD GUY WITH A GUN

also sam is icing guys who are recent;ly paroled

now i understand how people want the evil to payu, but people do change and turn good

saul/paul in the bible used to murder people for believing in Jesus, but after seeing the light, became a great hero

The right Honorable Jeffery Dahmer used to be a gay cannibal who b0ned and ate people, but in jail; found The lord and turnbed good

yes, some peopelk then wotrld would be better w/po, but they are still people, just as valued of life  as u or i

sometimes we need bad people as a warning  of what not for us to become

one reason i dont swear is cuz the c-ck sauckers in my grade school sword and in didn't wanna be like those b=stards

p-ss c-mming from my a55

main guy tells bnimmy he needs help to nai\l sammy and needs bimmy to tail sammy so main guy can break into his place

but bimmy is on parole and dont do it and when he hears sammy  broke inot main guuys hgome, he agrees to help

they're brothers like rick huntger and roy fokker in Robotech, and totally not lovers like the devolved yaoi fangirls keep pairing up those with 1 minor thing in common

so its daylight and main guy breaks in sammys place and looks around

i hope theres no traps as he roots around, but dont worruy, everyone there is out or dead

so sammy drives hoome and bimmy follows himinstead of calling as hes a f--kin idiot!

so sam goes not home but to some building in a dsemi industrial area aAND main guy fiinds a CVaLANDER AND bilble

main guy gets a call from bimmy and realizes sammy chooses his victim from the help groups and  bimmy sez sammy went off with tools

they are close to sams home and sammy busts bimmy brains with ahammer as main guy sez on phone:i'm comming"

maiun guy ryns over abnd i guess is sonic as hes not tuired and yells "jimmy" so sam knows hes comming

wghat a dumba55!

btw this is in sooviet cgicagio

so maiin guy finds bimmy chained and chopped and coated in blood and sam cals on bimmys phone saying "hes gonna kill me"

so despite bimmy being heavier than maiin guy, and main guy just ran for several mins at full speed, he can easily lift bimmy as i guess he's batman

so main guy takes out his bimmy and the cops nab him holding the guy and later hes in the station andthey think he did it

sammy used main guys hammer he jacked froim main guys place and only main guysa voice i mean prints are on it

they know  ain guy did da call and found his card wiith blood on it in maiin guys place as they spilled and he missed 1 when helping the 1st vic

he reveals he broke into main i mean sammys place and found the cards of the guys he iced

he wants a  lawyer and  samn callsand main guy vows to ice him

sam sez if he had those gon=ds when he ran over the 1st vic, then this wouldn't have happened

sam reveales he got the 1st vic when he was gonna get the little blonde girl and now is gonna show main guy his pain so he'd undersatand

sam is at maiun guys place so maiun guy goes full jean claude/segal and beats out a guard, takres hisd gun and sneaks out

sam fakes beiing a cip (A CRIME) and talks with main guys woman about how hes herwe to cleatr it up

oh and sdam said to main guy he;'d help main guy by doing another murder to show hes not the killer

this is turnbing into Time After Time with Malcom McAfrica and david warner bros

so wife senxzes somewthing of jackson is ogff and snearks around as she saw in her husbands files, sams mug shot

k o'd guard comes to and sez he got a call from a lawqyer but the lawyer comes and they see somethings up and send guys to main guys place

she locks sam out when clicxking the car alarm and he gets in the back door

so sam gets wife but main guy has him at gunpoint, so he gives sam the gun and he sez sam was a coward for surviving

sam sez he was hog tied and throat cut and didnt choose to survive, but caps sam i mean main guy, then sez "save ur woman, if u can, unlike me" and throws him da gun

main guy tries to grab it but the female detectivce takes out jackson j f k style

later bimmy comes gy with a cain with brain damage and main guy has a arm sling and he shows bimmy his wife and daughter named after his mom

then we seethe big a55 HOUSE he got from beiung a big a55 lawyer, although i'm not surre he's still on after his many crimes

the end

Thart was quite good

good twiists and characters

nice filming with many light abnd night shots to show tghe duality

i thought it would be aa courtroom drama but it shifted gears a few times into a thrioller/horror

while u dont agree with sam, you see his p o v

kinda like magneto in x men

good tension and edhgging and looking back, samuel DID know it was maiun guy and was dropping hints

this is the kinda movie you see totally different on a 2nd viewing

I liked it, the actors did well witrh their roles and it was bada55

wtf the guyide sez it got bad reviews?

those candy a55 c-ck suckers!

This has good flow and pacing and don't feel long or drag

For Reasonable Doubt 2 I want samuel l jeckson to have revealed to have survvived and due to miscpnduct of main guy, he was found not guiltry and is still out there, only now he wants revenge. But main guy and his bro have been really deep in rrehab and got metal implants to heal better and now are stronger and  tougher. So samuel sends them clues on a code to face him but it keeps leading to big tough guys and chicks and hermapphrodides for them to fight until he faces samuel who'svgot various tools. Also its a 16 bit gamne like Rwnt A Hero on Sega Genesis, Snes, Gba, TG16 and Atari Jaguar where you play as up to 2 players and fight up to 2 on 1 against the guys sam sends after you

Gunpoint Review

 note; i spell gunneriffic

Gunpoint

This is my review on Gunsmoke from the distant future year to paul revere of 1966 (60 years before transformers zone)

it stars audie murphy from The Red Badge of Courage/Ride Clear of Diablo/Destry/The Guns of Fort Petticoat/Cast a Long Shadow/The Texican, Warren Stevens from Forbidden Planet/The Twilight Zone /Star Trek /M*A*S*H, Edgar Buchanan from Abilene Town/Shane/McLintock!/The Twilight Zone, Denver Pyle from Ride Clear of Diablo/The Alamo/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/Maverick. Nick Dennis from A Streetcar Named Desire/East of Eden/Spartacus/Birdman of Alcatraz, Royal Dano from The Red Badge of Courage/The Red Badge of Courage/the 50s Moby Dick/The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn/the 60s King of Kings/7 Faces of Dr. Lao/Moon of the Wolf/The Outlaw Josey Wales/Little House on the Prairie/Killer Klowns from Outer Space/The Dark Half, Morgan Woodward from Cool Hand Luke, William Bramley from the 60s star trek, Robert Pine from Empire of the Ants/Rover Dangerfield/Independence Day/California Dreams/batwatch/the west wing, John Hoyt from Julius Caesar/Blackboard Jungle/Spartacus/the 60s Spartacus/X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes/Flesh Gordon/Desperately Seeking Susan, Ford Rainey from the 80s Halloween 2 and some guys in cr-p i never saw

its directed by Earl Bellamy who did notjhing I saw

so after logo and creits and title in proper fullscreen and nice color, wee hear in the 8180s there was alwlessness ain soviet colorado and raiders and outlaws went on atttacks

holy f its mad max

so this bad dude named drago like from rocky 4 and 8 was reading malcontents to jack things and waste people

man hes like h-lls wind in violkence jack!

so the sherrif and deputy brought a shipment of money to his townand its audie murphy

they go to da train and deputy thinks its safe and when they get there, theres  abuncha zenttraedi thetre cjopping a tower

so audie jumps on da train and co pilot gets on da bacl

co pilot caps audie from behind and he falls off a moving train and the malcontents pull the water tower on the tracks

the train busts into it and stops which i thiunk the train would plow trhrough it and blows the train with dino mights

so the drago comes to a town and wants to hang out there as theres no law to asstop em and he wants to b0ne some chicks

so the town is f';d as they needed that money and cant get mroe and they got a mine to run and has no sherrif

co pilot is made new sherrif and the bank might have to close if they dont get the m,oney

then outta nowhere, audie comes in and sez he knows not what happended as o pilot sez he looked and didnt dinf him

also theres a guy who wants to buy something and is a suspect and they need a marshall to go into the near town and he might not make it in time

outside copilot meets a guy who he tipped off and sez he didnt do it for the money and the town is calling in a marshall to drago gotta get out

audie gets patched up and he has f'd eyes for a few days from the damage

theres a gunfireding and 2 guys are iced but 1 lasts long enuff to say "save da town for me" and he wanna go in w/o the sherrif i mean marshall

in the salloon is this blonde who sings a soft loving song and drago likes her

audie comes in and tells da salloon owner hes looking for a killer and even though hes not authorizd to qorek in this area, he gets permission from the owner as hes got firearms and men

audie likes da blonde and thery know each other

then drago grabs her at gun to her head and gets out as a hostage as they block the door with a wagon

audie gors after em and cop pilot is there and its a montage from acxross the wastelands

man we'rer half an hour in with adds, that felt like nothing

so they coime to a place full of bodiues and hear whistling and find thhe salloon guy playign solitare

he claims he was attacked by apache and was gonna look for drago but audie thinks hes doing drago to gaiun power of da town

also the blonde was gonna marry hnim and audfie dont buy it but wantys to help audie find drago

audie dont care for him and theres indians there ansd salloon sez he iced 4 scouts

they discuss what to do and dont stand a chance againsta ll those indians so this mexico gets a big a55 knife

the indians afttack and the Americans counter fire as the infiands dive out of the horses like its a pool

evantually the indians escape and tthe Ammericans move out after the drago even though some guys are banged up and wanna gi back

dragoi is going to indian countryt and a few guys queer out and run home but they were voolunteers and auduie is paid to do it

also co pilot is f'd in the leg and will still go-ill on-ill

salloon owner wants his blonde back and audie claims its only 4 money

they go and find draghos camp but its empty and they find a scarf of the bloinde

then blonde is on a horsew being chased on horsebacvk by indians and is wearing a different outfit than she was caught in, like gilligans islland ewith ginger

audie saves her and its revealed she was sent off to draw away the indians, as he didn't care if she was b0ned dead

audiee talks with her and she misses how he was nicer 8 years agho and left onn a cattle drive but didnt eturn

he sez thingsa went wrong and he looked for her but found she was a salloon singer and didnt like it

is she a h--ker?

so blonde and salloon guy are gonna go back but theres indiuans around so they go with audie and friends

If she were a bada55 like lillian gish, she could use her firearm to kick some candy a55

man we're an hour in, that felt like nothing

tthey come to this huge a55 rock thing and audie dont truist salloon ghuy and threy go up after drago

in da bur ning heartm, just a bout 2 burst

so chick is having issue as shes not as strong or fast as them and salloon owner has a moment with her

they stop then go on and copilot stsalls for a bit and freakin lifts of and throws a rock down like hes the hulk

audie dodges it but it busts anbother guy and audie knowes hes did it on purpose but coppilot denies it

they leave him there as theres nothing they can do, although people were tougher in the18000s like rasputin and he might be alive

the drahgo sends a stampede of horses WYLDE STALLLIONS after em and coipilt holds audie at gunmpoint

he sez he was jealous of audie being chosen over him and how he told xcrago of da train

audie kicks the gun outta hiusd hand as, like rob roy, he just stood there doing nothing

then the WYLDE STALLIONS come in and end him and afgyterits over, hes only got  a few marks instead of being mushed into meat

1 guy sez copilot saved his dad in da war and was his friend but was shredded by gunfire saving da war and  recoved for a year in the hospoitsal wehich f'd him up

audie doont tell the teen that copiolt was crooked

so they have no horses abd are only a few lkeft and walking the desert

they say a prayer and the Angelsd come down and smite the bad guys and the circimsized peoples skin grows baCk

jk really theyc come to a town of i mean camp by a water source and no ones there

the invid got em!

blonde sez its not dragos amp as she traveled with him but it seems suspect

thgey jack the things and ready a note to tell em whee to get paid but tthe ownerts come in and say their horses they caught got stampeded

1 guy; =u stampeded e to pleas=re ur self!

me; thats all kinds of fathish, and maybe brony

the hordsemen want 10 000 $ for the hordses that ran off and they arrest tthem

the horsemen who aare rednecks read the badge satying coloradso and 1 wants the chick to wear a dress

audie fights the tall redneck and audie kicks his a55

the salloon guy sez they can get 20 000 $ from theguys theyre chasing so head red neck dont cap audie

this is like shining force or lunar how they lose anbd get new party members

90 mins in, its got good pacing and holds interest

audie sez the mioney isnt his and sallooner sez the trednecks woulsdnt want his diamond buttons as its only shiny rocks to em

so its night but sytiull clear and bright and audie has HOT COFFEE with blkonde and she sez she spent 2 years wondering whjat she did wrong when he didnt return

he sez he was ashamed as he  jacked a bank and was on da run

this is where lawbreaking goes; harming the lives of the breakers and their loved ones

he turned himself in and the judge was mercufuil to him

sallooner wonders what blonde is saying with audie and rednecks play card ames

audie wenses sometjhing and suspects the rednecks

at night the camp is attacked by dragos men but audie and friends are upo in da rocks and j kfd em like harambe

good night filming, t looks cool

the teen got capped and we getta death scene as drago got away

teen sz he thought audie was too hard but he must be hard to beat em, and then, e dierd

hes gone into a coma! don't worry! he's gonna nbe ok!

the nextr day the 2 surviving rednecjks go off to berry the head guy and is ok witnaudie beating him up

blkonde reveals her bro is working for drago and is only acting out and this is da 1st and she wants to save him

audie wants to end the drago but salloon beats him out and goos oof with blonde to save her bro

in thjss wasteland ricky area in day the sallooner and blonde see a guard and someones comming

itsaa audie and the guard is goinnaharambe him but despite blonde wanting to help, sallooner dont and the guy fires on him

it misses and auvdsie goes on attack mode and blonde calls out to not do it

suddenly, my power went out for a sec and the tv had to rebvoot

when it came back the bro is firing on audie whos hiding and sneakjing around and audie sez to go to her and he wont end him

sallooner is gonna be snipered but audier warns hkm asnd hecounters him out

draghois on the run and audie goes after him in the rocks

drago pulls off his fake leg and fires a golden beam of ki and slices through audie's arm, but he counters and cjhops drGO IN HALF WITH A CHOP

WAIT THATS HOKUTO NO KEN 2

and f off caps ,ock, go get butt hammered dead by rednecks in the woods

so audie caps drago in the gun wjhich somehow ends him insdtantly instead of the hours to days it takes

sallooneris gonna ice audiefor the money and chick tries yto stop him but he throws her off

audies ewuyes are f;d and sloonerthrows a rock to mahim look off

they draw and fall and fire as they dive and auidie caPS HIM AS HES DBNGT GOKU SS4 

he returns to the chick and they walk across the wasteland thats not nucular and head home which will probably be an advenbture of its own

the end

oh and the guy/chick walking off is like tat chaplain movie modern times

that was cool

good flow and feel

doesnt drag

nice acting action and music

good twists and stoiry

audie is cool and bada55 and brave like a man should be

not one of those beta male soy boy candy a55 whale kissing dukakis hugging moon maidens

its a nivce movie and has good feels and i like the color and sopft warm musiuc

for gunpoint 02 i want them to find a village in the desert witn a huge castle made of quartz that has a kid lost in, audie goes in to save her and fights various cyrptids and monsters with his gun that never seems to run outta ammo. also its a 128 bit 3d action game like Castlevania legacy of Darkness on Sega Dreamcast, GameCube, XboX aND PS2 WHERE YOU FIHT THROUGH THE MONSTERS AND UNLOCK DIFFERENT AREAS and f off caps lock, to to the camps and gulags!

The Rift Review

notwe; i sp[elkk like i trip the rift

The Rift

This is my review on The Rift from the distant future year, to robert e lee, of 1990(20 years before japoanese transformers season 03)

it stars r lee ermy fromthe bad texas chainsaw massacre and its better prequyen, Jack Scalia from Touched by an Angel/Red Eye=, Ray Wise from robocop/Jeepers Creepers 2/Superman: Doomsday/X-Men: First Class/RoboCop: Prime Directives/Drop Dead Diva/Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Ely Pouget from Father Dowling Mysteries, Frank Bran from A Fistful of Dollars//For a Few Dollars More/The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Edmund Purdom from Julius Caesar /The Diary of Anne Frank, Garrick Hagon froim Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/Balto/the 80s Batman / the 1st Mission Impossible movie with tom cruise, James Aubrey from lord of the flies, and some other dudes noty on wiekiepsa

its directed by Juan Piquer Simon who did nothing i seen

i never daw this but its gibinmg on comet

so after the mgm logo, therse gov guys meet this guy with 80s hair in a hotel or w/e in bed and bring him to a base

in there he reveals his wife is in the navy and the gov used his desihgn for something

he's told a sub he designed went under and was modded to be nucular

he is gonna go but his homie was called in to finish it close to his designs and they need himn to go down and save it

later its norway and we see thje chick and the black ghuy who i'm pretty sure aint making it to ther credits

the other guys ainttold much of their mission and main guynhas to share a room with a guy whos sick

a young r lee ermy comes on and sez cr-p but the tv signal f;'d out as we use antenna

hes kind of a harda55 and tells off the one black guy for not wearing regulation miliotary trousers and tells em its under military command

later at night an unseen guy alters the code of the ship[ and uses a code

in a lab, main guy and another chick talk abouttheir relationship and how she dont like him and i think shes his wife who dumped him

so later they are havbing some kinda issues and ermy sez troo go onward

they nearly ram into an iceberg and the sonar said it weas safe and main guy sez they f'd the sonar to putn in nucular things

he goes over thre changes and tells lee stuff but lee sees him in his chambers and tells him off for  being brash

main guy sez the milityar f'd his design and lee doont care and the conversation is eing broadcast in das shiup unknown to lee

they go on and find somethin about radi atiuon and they get a signal decoded as the black box of the 1st ship

they go deeper and i gotta say, i like how they use a model of the subn in actual on camera film instead of cr-ppy cg

both loook fake but this is ceeler i mean cooler

as theres no light theres no life or something but theres seaweed there and they send a diver under to getta sample and photos odf the ship

despirte being deep underwater, its clkearly light and hes having issue getting through the weeds but gets a sampole

while there he finds a rotted corpse and spazzes out but is ok and takes a photo of the ship

then something tyhaTS HARD TO SEE bv0nes him deaD and the frenchie starts going nuts as he was his best friend

althoguh fans might think they were butt buddies like Ed Elric and Roy Mustang or Yugi and Joey or Hubck Finn and Jim

so they checkm the stuff and gf checks this thing on a fish sample

this usnknoewn forece heads for the ship and busts it and the balack guy is taken out and irt brings the ship down

main guy sez to reverse the ppolarity of the field like in transformers the movie and itshocks the thing whoi lets it go

they keep falling as the ship f's out and it sinks but lands on a rock place

black guy is back and gives main guy his lucky thing and lee sees main guy in his chambers

btw this is in proper fullscreen has good 90s color with a made for tv movie feel

lee sez main guy should advice b4 acting and following protocall butn sez he did well and praises him

gf sez the sweaweed is super toxic and if it grew on the surface it would be super bad 

the signal cut out for a bit but later the seaweed sample is growing and thew black guy wants to leave but the gf sez to get the black boxc and go

wait, its not gf its the chick

so theyre going through a caver and theres bursts of hot water coming from the floor

they rise and find a natrually pressurized cave with air and the black box signal is in there

they find its an sos there they thought was the black box and lee wants to find it as its better info than the black box

they go out with guns as unlike 2001 a spoace odyssey, they aren't f--king stoopid and take a raft from the shuip to the inner shore

they can only go 90 feet at a time as thats as far ahead they can see and find toxic chemicals containers

in this cave is a rubber monster head in the wallhole and when 1 guy looks in, it comes out and bites his face

threy notice all these ruybber monsters and are directed what path to take by the ship radio

they fire on the monsters and thery blow aparrt and its bada55 with actual matter on film instead of cr-ppy a55 cgi

the bit guy is spazzing out and the chick or gf ends him with gunfire

also she droped the tracker or w/e she uses

so these monsters attaCK AND 1 guy gets it but the chick or w/e wastyes the monster

on da sjhip the oxygen generatoir lost power

better than the oxygen destroyer

soo the guys in da cave finfd theres no survivors

in the lab the seaweenb devolved intio tyentacles and eats 2 guys and it burns to touch

wait 1 survived and called lee and gf and they find the guy it ate mummified in seaweed

gf sez to seal the open water sources as its in the aquyaduct systemns

isnt this Lily C A T where the aliewn thing gets in?

so this foreigneer guy has been drinking tap water and is locked in a room in canse he cdevolves

so in the cave theese tentacle monsters take a few guys on da boat and surprisingly, the 1 black guy makes it back with main guy

maIN GUY, named hayes like in Robotech, brings a disk and finmds they sealed off 3 areas as the plantsdd infected em and a few guys gotn it

so gf sez they used gene slamming to advance evolution like streerk sharks and its by da gov and they knew (spoiler; proven by creation science!)

black guy wants to release the info and let someone else deal with it, but this was b4 brad manning so he don't know they'd lock him up and remove his parts

so the guys go back in and a girl, maybe chivck, maybe gf, isd chick still alive? is attacked by mopnsters and uses a flare on chemicals that blows it

she finds a hiuge cave with cages and these tentacles grab and pull her

wtf this is only 79 mins?! but om comet its a 2 hour thing! They got 40 mins of adds?!

oh and its also called in some places: Endless Descent

in the cave, the rest of da team finds amneotic accks aand pops 1 and a mutant baby come out like splatterhouse 01

they find this monther brain plant thing and fire on it as it attacks

it like the biolizasrd from sonic

so they blow the area and this guy at a terminal sez missuon accomplisged and gets out in anb rescape ipofd as he weas a gov agent like rouge the bat

the team runs as the cave gradually comes aspart and agent cant leave as the exit seal is f;'d andher goes out and the retuirning crew seesa him

tthe tteam opewns the seal by hand to stop him from going under andbgets in

so its gf main guy and lee weho survived sand theyy search for agent

he gets em at gunpoint and sez hje packed the pod with enbough foodf and bottled water 4 several dayus

agent sez the gov f'd his desighns on purpose to get him in and blam him for it so he wont tell

also they blew the 1sty subn to seal the area ANd theresx no black box, only a fake sigmal

agent sends em in a room and main guy reveals he tookl a key microchip the ship cant run w/o as its a p o s and angent comes to ghet it

as hje opens da door, lee slughs him out and he fightsd main guyy b4 lee rushes him into the room with the weater drinker and beats on him

lee touches aghenmts fACE TO the corpse and he devolves and the chop is broke, but the chipn thing was a lier and he needs to reconnect the power

lee getsa on the self detonate system and as theryy go, lee locksd em in and reveaslsa he got the aids from touching somethingh

he chooses to stay behind to saCRIFICE HIMSELDF instwead of sawing off the arm anf the white maybe virgin couple gets out in ther pop which cleasrluyy tok morte than the 90 seconds they said

eventually trhe sub blows and the cpuiple holds hsandfs as they goo ood like in day the worldf ended

the end

that was kinda good

soreA LIKE THE THING BELOW AKA SEA GHOST AND HAS f u caps lock got get f'd like a pug and die

its got good effects and style and acting, the msuci is nice and the characters are cool

its got good stuff like r lee ermy being a good honorable guy inside and despite being a harda55 he's got dignity

nice  monsters and style and i likes how its not just cr-ppy cgi

for The Rift 2 I want them to go on to the surface and find an uncharter island and find a race of snail people wjo have a society of homes like the ships in buckaroo banzai, also they gotta find a way to work woith them to get back are reveal the gov thing, its also a 128 bit game on ssega dreamcast, gamecube xbox and ps2 like harvest moon where you live in the snail people village and grow weird crops and do tasks.

The Eyes Of The Mummy Review

Note: I spell like 30000 year euyes, i mean 3000 as creationscience disproved that 1st number

The Eyes Of The Mummy

This is my review on The Eyes Of The Mummy from the distant Future year, to Paul Revere, of 1918 (80 years before the Globalk Civil War in Robotech)

its directed by, Ernst Lubitsch?! Okk now I'm interested! who did The Loves of Pharaoh/The Student Prince in Old Heidelberg(I cried at that)

It styarsa Pola Negri ffrom, actusally I never saw her in anytyhing, Emil Jannings from The Loves of Pharaoh/Waxworks/Faust, Harry Liedtke who was killerd by soviets when in 45 they tried raeping his wife, from The Loves of Pharaoh, and a few i never saw in anything

it got good reviews and did well in the time of release but i never saw this b4

so after tile and credits, a painter goes to egtpt and we seeb this guy in a hat walking around as wastelandhe meets this exotic chickl getting water from aa well wjo runs off and he follows

if shes clearly afraid of you, probably for being a gaijin, why chase her?!

so she gets away and the nexty dayat a hotel this prinxceiss there

this guy suggests seewing the tomb of the queen ma but is told its cirsed and a devolved guy on a chair waas a victim

paiunter asks devolved guy whart happened and is told the eyues are alive as he spazzes out

at da market he sees a guy who goes on tomb expeditions and wants to see it but isnt accepted

in tthe market is a performer doing scarf tricks amdf a guy doing as shell game

painter offers money to a guy to see the tomb and goes on a big black horse wiith him

at da tromb is a black guy who might be make up and has the water chick from b4 in the tommb

when painter gets thewre, black guy eventually brings him in with as torch(Not the Throw bot)

in there are drawing on da wall and a stone thing with living euyes moving

painter tries to go in but black guy fights him and painter pulls a gun and fires but it clearely mnisses

in there he sees the watch exotic chickamdits clearly daylight in deeper in the tomb

he comforts her andsoh theres a fire but the shadows go pover it

sjhe sez years ago, wait, how do they know the same language? is trhis like robotech or dbz how all alien races know the same tongue?

so the bvlack guy caUGHT HER AND BROught her over the water on a horse and when shge woke up, she was in here ansdi guess his indentured servant

oh and when painter got off his horse, it walked off and i guess is done

so he sez she dont gotta love him but does have to obey him, and iu guess he b0ned her a lot

painter vows to free her and she promises to never leave him and they hug then start to leave

da horse is there and they ride it together but black guy is clutching his chest like he was hit there, but coes out of the tomb and goes after em but collapses in the desert

the  prince on his outing com,ers sacross him and brings him with em  with a few servants carrying him

da nnext day da prince has saved him and he wants to come to europe to serve him, whuich as the 2020s has shows, might not be best

after prince goes, he  vowws to find the chick

so the chick, called ma,, are on an ocean liner and he teavches her European protoculture ith a tutor as she eats sugar cubes ands is the gaijin now

she likes this cat and chases it during the lesson and the tutor puts it aside

painter comes by and she happily hugs him and soon after he gets her 1st world clothes

but the prince is returning from asia and black guy asked his god to show the chicjk he thinks betrayed him

at a party painter shows the chick to his friend but 1st is platyful and romantic wioth her

they play a waltz and she dont join as she dont know or w/er ans goes back to her room and crys

she puts back on her gaijin clothes and wjhen the people notice she's not there, find her and and happy to see her

they bring her back and platy "some5thing oriental" for her and she does a weird exotic dance like something Tommy Wiseau might find hot

a viriety showguy is interested and wants her to dance in it and has a contract in his pants

2 months later shes a success and is in da papers and prince is reading of it

black guy comes goes and prince wants to see it and reserves a box for it

at the shhow is 2 people lifting each other around and preoince and black guy come to a  private box

chicjk comes on and does her weird a55 dance, but not a dance of a weird a55

black guy seews her and she falls over and is taken to her room

black guuy gopoes lokingf for her and painter comnforts er and she sez black guy lives rti revenge on her

good fear in polas face she could act

she leaves and black guy is after her and hesars she left by car

later an art wexhiit opens and prionce is a guest and sees a painting he likes

he meets da painter and chick is there and he kisses her hand

suddenl;y, he starts spasming opout and falls to the floor copnvulsing as his skin starts changing until he has caught her gaijin itis and is now turneed into one of them

of cource, i'm joking, which anyone with a working brain could see

but nowadays, common sense is so rare its a super power

so prince invites em over to see his colorectal collection and next day they come

chick likes thisd vase that reminds her of her home country and pronce smokes as its the 1910s and germany didnt prove its bad for you for another 2-3 decades

they have a tal;k and she sees black guy in da mirror and he hides

she gets a  bit spaced out and blacks oit and is put in bedbut keeps seeimng black guy behind semi clear cloth wait, hes see through and shes spazzing out

what da f is going on here?!

is tdat in her head or is he using some black magic?

so blavk guy gets a card with writiong on it iu cant read andi guess its  her addness and goes to see her

he gives a letter and leaves and its given to main guy painter but i cant read it from bad video quality and bad handwriting

he shows chick who sez to ask the prionce tyop cancel the buying off da paintring as herlife may depend on it

painter goos oof and black guy is in princes area and looks at the painting of chick  and shanks it with a knife

at least he didn't staret j=rkin off to it

he reads the name of da painter and good oof and as painter comes by, he goes

painter sez his wifes wellbeing depends on the princes choice and black guy hops the gate at painters home

prince find the shanked painting and recognizes the dagger as his servants

at paintyers place, black guiy is climbing the walls and going to the winbdow like count orlock and chhick freaks out  and calls on da phonerr

black guy punches in da glass and comes in and chick freakks out buyt then stands there as helumbers closer

shebegs for mercy but e takes out another blade and she blacks out and falls

he gets spazzed out by this and carries her popff like in the cabimnet of dr caligari, then puts her dowb and maakes out with her corpse

at least he didnt go full evangelion on it

eeventrually he gets his blade and slowly walks to da camera, then raises his blade

the scene cuts and painter and i think prince come back and see them on the floor

1 guy sez "too late" and the movie ends

I think the black guy did seppuku and according to wikipedia, she bit it freom da fall

the end

that was kinda f'd

tthen again, Lubitsch don'treally do happy endings

this was well made, tells a good story, has heart, good active and style

its a bit sad but thats how europe likes it

Year there's no mummy but angels and demons had neither in it, except this one wwas good!

its one of those kinda bummer but meaningful movies that makes you think about life

Lubitsch does it again

plusd it inspired other films like nosferatu and the cabinet of dr caligari

Its kinda like Robotech Season 2 with Dana and Zor where 1 bites it

Is only like an hour long and worth a look

For The Eyes Of The Mummy 2 I want prince and painter to take the bodies to a hospital where their condition is upgraded from dewad to alive and they are kept in seperate rooms to avoid the guy from going nuts. they have damage from the near dead things and need rehab to regain use of things and much of the  ovie is them learning how to function. also they get metal parts added to hellp them function better and it gives them better abilities. after rewcovering, he finds she  survived and  goes after her  but she's ready and has gadgets in her body that can help her esacape. its also a 32 bit metroidvania game on Sega Saturn, ps1 and N64 and 3D0 where you play as the chick and use gadgets to get aroundf this german expressionist city and gotta evade or stun the bad guy and unlock new abilities as you  discopver the need for them in cutscnees by getting to the right area, until you face him in this factory and gotta knock him into machinery to grind him up.