Field Of Dreams Review

note; typing still bad. maybe worse.

field of dreams

this is my review on field of dreams

I actually read the book in high school

it was called shoeless joe and had some differences

like kevin cpstner had a twin brother who left home to work at a freak show

in one flashback kevin Costner and the other kevin Costner get b0ners and measure em with a metal ruler to see if they are 100% identical

hope they wernt circimsized

I say that a lot when I watch "naked and afraid"

that show is awful

its just naked people suffering

adam and eve? more like dante's inferno!

also in the book they meet j d salinger

they changed it for the movie since I guess he didn't consent to being in it

I had an idea for a thing where they would be making a biopic on a dead actor

but one of his droogs is still alive and don't consent to being in the film(as he used to do drugs and b0ne a lot or w/e)

so they change 1 letter in his name and turn him black

ahhh yes, hackie chan, the black martial artist

steven steelburg

danny levito

ooh, its by universal

I liked the land before time

too bad they ruined it with endless sequels

ooh

burt Lancaster is in this

and ray liotta is shoeless joe

good music too

by james horner

so kevin Costner tells his dads backstory

he fought in ww1 and loved baseball

he had clashes with his dad and was a hippie in college

he met his wife, married, and the dad bit it

they bought a farm and he started hearing voices

that backstory was like 3 mins

alien soldier was almost 5 and was just scrolling text

in the cornfield kebin conytr hears a voice saying "if you build it, they will come"

as I grew up in da 90z, I saw parody's of this phrase often

he cant find any reasonable explaination for it

but he takes it well

at night he hears it again

the corn may be haunted

or maybe its space daemons

at the store the other farmers look at him queer for mentioning hearing voices

maybe the space demons are b0ning their cows

later in the cornfield, he keeps hearing the voice

he gets p-ssed but then sees a baseball field in his corn firld

he talks with his woman and sez it means showeless joe Jackson will come back

but hes dead

is this cornfield a gate to h-ll??

I should mention that shoeless joe and others in baseball were canned for being paid to fix the 1918 world series

kevin scrur is malcontent over not wanting to be his dad

is he gonna start cross dressing?

the next day he plows his corn and tells his daughter about shoeless joe

he sez jow wasn't trying to lose the game and played his fat a55 off

he turns his corin field into a b ball fierld

he also sez his dad once saw jow in a ball gamer under a fake name

then its Christmas

I should mention I don't care for baseball

I think its cr-ppy and s-cked

Americas past time my a55

its watching guys a mile away playing catch!

then they run in squares

its boring

once in high school we had to go to a game

I managed to bring my game boy advance and pokemon crystal and had something to do

in grade school I stayed behind in class and played on the computer when the class went to ballgames

I also didn't like school dances

the only sports I liked was dodge ball and scooter hockey(playing grade 1 hockey on boards with wheels)

I don't even like sports games on sega

later its revealed that they blew their savings on the ballfield

then a man shows up at the ballfield

its a base baller

wtf its been 30 mins(with commercials)

but nothing happened!

kecin sunitn turns on the lights and talks to the guy

wait, he just plays ball with him

is this like in yugioh where they communicate feelings by card games?

also, how'd he hook up a light system?

they introduce eachother and the baller is showless joe

joe sez losing baseball was like losing a limb

then they play ball more

this is kinda soothing

no music or words

just calm movements

joe tells about his good memories

I assume this is gonna get dark and disturbed soon

so is this really happening?

or is it in kevin scitng's mnd?

joe cant leave the play area

the kid asks if hes a ghost and he don't give a straight answer

joe sez theres others

kevin scoting sez they're welcome any time

when joe asks if this is heaven, kevin sez; its iowa

ih the 90s that was classic

so maybe kevin scoingt can ask joey what its like to bite it and where he's been the last few decades?

nahh!

they're gonna play baseball!

joe goes into the corn

the next day a farmer tries to help kevin ervinty but he just jokes

he's gonna have to start doing weiord p0rn0 to pay the bills

then more people are in the ballfiend

they're kinda see through

sometimes

the ballers argue and reveal they now time has happened since their games]

1 guy swears in friont of a little girl

she don't mind

the farmer talks wth kevin sctinger but he cant see em

oh, its the wifes fam

so I assume this is like in yugioh gx how only some can see spirits

the men are aware they're dead and how long its been and what year it is

then kevin hears a voice saying"ease his pain"

inside the wife warns that the PTA wants to ban books like the wizard of oz or diary of anne frank

when they took the bible out they started a slippery slope

at the meeting they wanna ban some p0rn0 by a commie named "Terrence mann"

one woman suggests he stopped writing cuz he j-rks off

the wife defends the writer

this movie tries to make the 60s period of malcontentary and drug use seem good

the women argue and nearly have a street fight like in Capcom vs SNK 2 EO

she forces a vote and compares the one against her to a nazzi and a commie

then uses blanket statements about freedom and the bill of rights to twist things

she wins the vote

kefin kostnar sez he's supposed to ease the pain of the writer

I wouldn't want my kids reading some p0rn0 in grade school

although I hear the new curriculum in some places is pretty explicit

teaching grade school kids about butt stuffing and gender perversion

these kids think santa and the tooth fairy exist

and they're teaching them about 30 genders

after a small montage of research, he gives a backstory of not jd salinger

his last story was about kevin seinty;s dad

also he liked baseball

the wife points oit good reasons why he shouldn't go on an expedition to find this writer

he sez he has a good feeling and its revealed him and his woman had the same dream about the writer

on the trip there he practices what he wants to say to introduce himself

then we get a montage of him searching for info

when they meet its james earle jones playing the writer

darth vader did p0rn0

the writer don't wanna see him but sees him anyway

hes kinda p-ssed off and disgruntled

he kicked out kevin scyunty for being from the 60s

but kevin scrut gets back in and fakes having a gun

the writer don't buy it and tries to beat klevins coastners a55 with a crowbar

kevin scrtyon explains he wants to take him to a ballgame and he read the writer wanted to play ay a field that was torn down

but the writer never even thought that

but he goes with him anyway

they go to a real stadium and the writer sez he wants to be left alone

he stopped writing as he got fed up with all those maniac druggies hounding him

at the game, the screen sez something in baseball but I don't get it

kevin deionst writes it down and gets bummed when the writer don't see it

they leave

once I was at a baseball game and got very foul gas

my dad called it, the 7th inning stench!

they part and as he leaves the writer reveals he saw the baseball text

they have to find a guy called "moonlight graham

they go on a road trip to minnesoda

he calls the wife but after they hang up her brother (the farmer) is there in a suit saying she didn't tell him

maybe they're inbreeding and trying to create some kind of super ginger(as both are ginger)

turns out moonlight became a dr and helped kids

then bit it in 72

they talk with geezers about moonlight

turns out he had no darkness

the writer calls his son after finding he's been calling him but got no answer and called the cops

the keven ciostysry goes for a walk and its now 72

I like the cool blue color of this night

he sees moonlight and they talk

moonlight carries an umbrella

in the book it was phaIIic

I think

moonlight sez he played 1 game, didn't do well and instead of going back to the minor league, he quit

he wishes he could've went to bat I the major leagues

kevin cosrtner sez he can bring him to a place with magic enough to make it happen

but moonlight don't wanna leave his homeland

this reminds me of yugioh gx where jaden goes to a time warp and faces yugi in a place with only them

kevin costny sez living his dream for 5 mins is awful

moonlight sez if he was only a dr for 5 mins it would be awful

on the phone the wife sez that they gotta pay or lose the farm

so kenvin costnor and da writer goes to the farm

on the way there they get a hitchhiker who plays ball

its the kid version of moonlight

kevin sentjer sez his dad s-cked at baseball so he forced his son to play

at 14 he read the writers book that f'd him up and made him stop

at 17 kevin kinger left home

kevin didn't see him agan

the dads hero was shoeless joe

they get to the home and the writer meets joe

also another team came out and they gon play a real game

moonlight plays with em

hes kinda cr-ppy

but he gets a score goal point thing(I don't know baseball)

the next day they're still out and the brother offers to buy the farm

kevin cerher sez no and his daughter sez people will comer to watch the game

the writer sez people will come and be basically hypnotized into coming and paying 20$ to see ghosts play b ball

we get a pro base ball speech about how its really american

but the brop spews doom and gloom saying he's gonna lose the place

we get a long stare of the ballers looking at kevin cester b4 he turns the bro down

after a scuffle, the daughter falls off the bleacher and bites it

but moonlight walks off the holy ground of baseball field and turns into burt lancaster

he saves the girl by getting a wiener out of her throat

but he cant return

Charlie! you cant go back!

we get a forced sad moment to make us feel about a ghost not playing a cr-ppy sport

he goes into the corn and I hope not to h-ll

then the bro can see the ghosts somehow

its not really explained

I guess the magic leveled up

the ballers are going back to h-ll for the night and invite the writer to go with em

but kevi sercedry goes mental that its not him

the writer revealed he did say the dream about playing ball with the place

james urkle jones dresses like my grampa  

he goes into da korn (eventually) and its revealed that one of the ghosts was kevin scerger;s dad

this whole thing was for him

but the dad sez it was for the keven secertner

his fam meets the dad but he acts like he don't know em

the dad asks if its heave but the keven sceredfer sez its iowa

the dad asks if theres a heaven

does this mean he was in h-ll?

what were his sins??

was he a degenerate?

then kened secret plays catch with his ghost dad

a good metaphor on how once malefic forces are removed, healing can begin on wounded souls

that hippie commie j-rk off writer went to h-ll and the dad's relationship with his son is restored

as it waS the writers book that f'd em.

the end

I liked this film

its good 80s/90s heart

it felt nice and has soft music

plus good themes

besides the pro hippie cr-p

the 60s were grotesque

I perfer the 80s

the raegan years

or the 90s

when animation was good

also

wtf

in the credits

the voice; himself

wtf 

For Field of Dreams 2 I'd like for the baseball field to have become more and more magical with each time a all player gets sacrificed by leaving the ground. Kwevin Costner keeps doing this to get more mass appeal so more people can see his ghost show. Also people don't really want baseball now that roids have become mandatory and games have become higher octane. So he starts having serial killer ghosts come up and have death matches. Soon its a tournament of the worlds greatest warriors and most f'd up killers and degenerates with them fighting to determine who gets to stay and who gets sacrificed to enter the human world for a few mins before returning to h-ll. Its also a fighting game on sega genesis and snes where you choose a historical figure and butcher others in gory matches. Also, the writers ghost is manipulating things for a malcontent uprising and has absorbed the lost souls sent to h-ll to become an abomination of grand perversion who absorbs other ghosts by b0ning them.

Dr X Review

niote; is my typing better? mayyyyybeee
dr x

this is my review on dr x

the 1930s horror film

the color is weird

like... not fully colored

sorta faded yet a bit sepia

its got faye wray from king kong

I think its got a bit of feel like the bat whispers

both were from the early 30z

it starts with the whole cast named on one page but not who they play

not that you'd know any of em

this guy is on a dock and smoking during a storm

its also a full moon

then a car drops off a dr at a morgue

a reporter tries to get in but is denied

he goes to this home and uses the phone

in the home is a blonde

he tells his paper that a chick was brought in the morgue after being iced weirdly

also each full moon someone gets iced

wait I think the home is a bar

after he leaces he gets a cigarete from a cop and joy buzzers his hand

he then sneaks into the morgue

at the autopsy they find shes strangled and has a wound on her head back

he suspects cannibalism

yum

you are what you eat

its natural

animals do it

if we wernt meant to eat eachother we wouldn't have the desire to

this is the 6th wacking with a strangling and knife wound

the dr suspects the cannibal is mentally ill

NO!! REALLY?!

what about that german guy who put an add out saying he wants to eat someone

then someone replied

then they gayed out and he ate him at the same time

that's what I call

shades

a food fetish!!

YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

after everyone leaves the reporter gets off the table as he was under a cover disguised as a corpse

this reminds me of alexander knox in 89 batman by tim burton

a fun character in a weird f'd world

later the dr is in the library and his daughter comes in

she freaks out for some reason

I think that's faye wray

she looked better as a blonde with long hair

but most women do

turns out a dr welles is working at the institute at night

he also studied canibalism

modern cannibal students probably watch horror movies non stop

spoiler; silence of the lambs s-cked!

no gore

no cannibalism

its gay

imagine a kung fu movie where the guy said to be a kung fu master never fughts or raises his hands over his nipples

bait and switch

dr welles has kept a heart alive for years in a jar

also he has a prosthetic arm

also 2 people on a mission were lost at sea and the 3rd guy with em was missing

they aid he drowned at sea

they probably ate him

in mexico or w/e this boat with 2 guys was swept out to sea

13 months later they found 1 guy

he said the guy didn't eat the turtles he caught and died

if it were me I'd've eated him

no shame

you gotta do what you gotta do to survive

another professor is working on brain cells

he wants the cops out

1 dr is a criopple and another has 1 eye

they work on astronomy

and moon effects

like in dbz how saiyans turn oozaru when the see moonlight

in the 70s they made blacula and blackenstein

why not a black werewolf?

in the 70s it could work

maybe a guy changes race in certain light

that sounds like a cool 90s toy

except with light instead of water

faye spots the reporter and calls him out for being up on a fire exit

he makes bad excuses

btw faywe wray is ms xavior

like Charles xavior in x men

the institute is his

all we nee is mutants

to bad lon chaney bit it

he's more fd than the x men

phantom of the opera

hunchback of notre dame

so the cops say in 48 hours they gon be back or something

a mutant comes after the reporter but runs away when his cop cigarete pops as its a joke smoke

just like something outta tim burton

the next day the reporter is back to get a photyo of dr xavior

he gets the maid (a new Yorker) and flirts with her

he joy buzzers her and she has fun

when he gets in he looks around and swipes a photo of faye

but she walks in

she calls him out on it but he sweet talks his way outta it

he comes out about being a reporter and she gets p'd at him for the story he made about her dad

he tries to joy buzzer her but shes too p-ssed to give a sh-t

as he leaves the new Yorker dumps water on him

I assume its amniotic fluid and someone is gonna poop out a baby

that night the scientists talk over who might be the killer

one of em is it

this is at his home and he's gonna do an experiment

wtf its been 30 mins

that didn't feel like it

outside the reporter climbs a wall and looks in a window

the dr x experiment is gonna prove em innocent but may out the killer

the reporter stumbles his way inside and fumbles around like leslie neilson

or light buster keaton

he sees a skeleton but its being moved by a guy carrying it

this would make a cool video game

the new Yorker is nervous of the house

dr x is gonna have the new Yorker wear the clothe\s of the murder victim for the experiment

they r gonna reenact the icing

the reported plays with skeletons

are those real?

dr x feels that hidden thoughts can be brought out by heart things

sounds like a bad anime

the guys are clamped into and wired to chairs

then the moon comes out

1 guy starts freakin out

he has a moon fetish and is gonna get a b0ner!

since the killer has 2 hands the amputee is omited

meanwhile, the room the reporter is in had smoke pumped into it

I think its drugged

he's gonna get b0ned!

at the science x periment, the machine amplifies the heart beats and displays them on tubes

the dr sez that 1 of em had to cannibal so in his subconscious he will react from seeing it

and only dr x knows who's tube is who's

the one who's tube reaches the top 1st is the killer

he uses wax figures of the victims

1 was a druggie

then the new Yorker and they re\enact it

the lights go out and in the dark 1 tube fills up

the astronomer is it

but when they turn off the dark he's dead

the crippled guy can walk and the guy next to the killed guy says he didn't do it

the amputee sez he was knocked out

jinkies! what a mystery

imagine if Scooby doo solved murders?

with swearing and perversion and nude scenes and b0ning

they find the reoperter and hes out ciold

so they revive him

they don't want him outing the story to the public

he wants to but faye x wants to protect her dad

he sez he's gonna hold off if he can have breakfast with em

they are falling in love

the amputee interrupts em and has a room for him

like in the room with tommy wiseau

I already ordered a pizza

shouldn't the dr x call the cops?

a man was iced in his home

in the AM we see faye wray in her jammies

like with yuuko in valis 3

she finds her dad autopsying the iced scientist

if this were made today we'd see him poking in the open bod

after she leaves a guy sz to the dr x that the body has been...

but don't finish

I assume someone b0ned it

later on the reporter and the faye wray are on the beach and shes in a swimsuit

she is malcontent that she has to live where bad things happen

I assume the dr x has dark experiments

well

this IS new york

the new Yorker is too freaked out from the experiment and has a bad vibe

so the faye wray is gonna do it

wtf

her charactwers name is joan

like

joan "crawl up my a55" crawlford?!

a guy walks aropund in the dark and his flashlight goes out

then he falls through a secret thing and is in a room

the new Yorker reads her tea leaves as I new York they do the occult

its a skull and cross bones

someones gonna get b0ned in the skull and get cross (mad)

the dr x gets the cops to give him until midknight to catch the perp

what if hes not 1 of em>?

at the night he redoes the x periment

this kinda reminds me of the thing

one of em is a killer and they don't know who they can trust so they have a blood test

the faye wray is worried of dr x's health as he's working hard

my grampa worked hard all his life

he had big a55 Slovenian man hands from farm work

he made it to 94.5

he's like the Castlevania guys

1 dr askes if letting the amputee be free is good

the dr x sez he has the doors bolted

as the moon rises 1 guy starts breathing loud

purvurt!!

he's gonna start j-ckin off!

meanwhile, the amputee gets a hand made of synthetic flesh attached to his stump and electirfied

it comes to life

he then starts adding mushy synthetic flesh to his face and head and covers his hair

he becomes the monster from b4

cool effects btw

btw with his hair covered he its like propfessuer x from x men

but he gets his hair out

well that came from no where

he uses secret passages and iced the butler who was gonna play the killer in the x periment

faye wray is playing the victim and the real killer is coming in

everypne freaks out and the killer reveal hes the amputee

everypne struggles being chained up

in Africa the amputee got flesh samples to work with

he killed people to get samples

hes doing it for science!

the reporter fights the killer an gets his a55 kicked

kick him in the parts!!

the faye wray frees the drs

the reporter fight the kiler and nails him with a fire lamp

then pushes him out the window

as he don't se his corpse hes probably not dead

wait, we see his burning bod on the ground below

the reporter tells his story on the phone giving the dr x credit

then a shadow of the killer comes out

but its the faye wray

he sez he used the joy buzzer to catch the killer's ticklish spot

that's cool

the lights go out and he joy buzzes the faye wray and they b0ne

the end

that was cool

I love early 30s cr-p

plus this predates x men by a good 30+ years

sorta like the bat whispers and batman

this was sorta tim burton batman a bit

for dr x 2 I'd like for it to be in the 50s and after the war the synthetic flesh is used to help the amputees from the war. but theres a side effect that causes the users to gradually go insane and start eating people after its been in them for too long. so the bada55 80s style tough chick daughter of the reporter and the faye wray has to fight them off and use her grandfathers sci fi 50s style weapons to fight off the demented ex amputees and save her 50s guy boy friend from being eaten. also she's kind of a bimbo and bad a55 at the same time and has jean harlow blonde hair and dresses like its the 1980s

Shane Review

note; my typing is aids on a burger

shane

this is my review of shane

I've never seen it but I heard about it on a vid about endings people get wrong

also my mom likes this 1

ooh, its from 53

ooh

jack palance is in it

he was good in batman

noooooooo

its widescreen

what a waste

wtf

hes called "walter jack palence"

my moms uncle is called walter

but he goes by woldek(vwa dek)

also hes polish and jack is ukranian

it starts with a boy hunting a deer

a horse man comes by and scares it away

nowadays they'd complain about a kid hunting

the horseman sez he knows the kid was watchin him come

he comments on the cows

as he gets off his horse the kid pulls a gun on him

this kidf seems maladjusted

maybe some purvo b0ned him and he's scarred fpr life

wait

he just wanted to show him the gun

some guys are coming so he leaves

but 1st he wants the fam to put away their gun as he leaves for his preference

the coming guys come and they look like wasteland warriors

the leader wants em off the land and the dad disagrees

the horseman(who I figure is shane) stands with the fam and the wariors leave

if this were today they'd be a biker gang

the dad sez sorry to shane and they introduce eachother

also the gun wasn't loaded

then why was the kid hunting??

later they have dinner together and talk

a calf causes issue and the dad sends the kid to fix it

but the kid takes a while

I think he's got autism or something

the dad sez the only waty he'd leave is if the ice him

the kid hears and don't get it

my grandpa had to leave Slovenia when the commies took over

most of his men were killed by em and he went to soviet Canada and lived to be 94

as long as theres life theres hope

the dad sez another guy did something and the kid sez they kicked his teeth out

how come in kids shws you can have teeth punched out but you cant have bone removal?

in riki-oh this guy was deboned by riki-oh punchin holes in him and pulling em out

the next day the dad and the shane work all day to remove a stump

why not just burn it?

the next day this big a55 deer is on their land

he's eating the fams garden!

the kid comes out with a gun

but just sez "bang" and the deer runs off

then wishes he had bullets

the deer runs off

candya55

he talks to shane for a bit

they want shane to stay

in degrassi jr high, shane got spike pregnant and later did drugs and got brain damage

wrong shane

then shane goes into town and the kid wants pop

while working the kid pretends to cap things with  stick saying BANG

he asks dad if dad is tougher than shane

my dad can kick your dad's candy a55

then a neighbor comes by saying hes leaving

in town shane stops by a bar or store or something with some malcontents playing cards

synchro summon an archfiend synchro!

sjane buys some clothes

1 guy buys pop

the store guy wishes more guys drank it

if only he know of the cola wars

I went to refill my pop and when I got back some a55 is splashing shane with alcohol commenting on his smell

shane gets pop but is told by an a55 not to come back

her's gonna kill all of em

then b0ne and eat them

like that xxx star in Canada

later its a storm and a buncha guys are meeting

the dad introduces shane

they say they don't wanna be kicked outta their homes

shane walks away and the kid goes mental over the idea of shane leaving

the men decide to go into town as 1 group and get their cr-p

the next day theyre leaving anda guy sez

a married man has to get used to waiting for women

I know that

my mom takes forever to get sh-t done

my gf takes a while 2

they go around on a wagon convoy

they get 2 town and all come into the store at once

is this a thing on unions?

what about all the downsides?

getting dragged down with the 50.1% votes against ur will?

shane goes to get a drink and is harassed by the malcontents

shane buys 2 whiskeys

1 for him 1 for the guy bustin his a55

he splashes it in the guys face and slugs him out

jack penance takes him on

this turned into fatal fury!

they dance around then shane nails him

hane gets socked but counters

then theyre just slugging

jack panence has a high life bar

but shane beats his a55

the biker leader tries to seduce shane to his side

he offers the dad's woman but shane takes offence to b0ning someone elses wife and tells him off

the leader gets p-ssed and tells him to get out

then theres a big chaotic bar brawl

use jump kicks!

it works in streets of rage and mortal kombat

the kid tells the dad that they'll kill shane so he goes in and nails 2 guys with a stick

shane was getting held asnd beat b4 dat

they fight together like batman and robin

or the punisher and nick fury(when he was white)

the bar guy sez shane and him won

they leave and the leader (who got head hit) revives and sez hes gonna cap em

the dad should've made sure he busted the guys head open

or got him in the eye socket

that night the mom heals shane and dad

later the kd sez he loves shane almost as much as pa

if this were made today it wouldn't be clean love

later a pig farmer sez they killed his sow and f'd up his place

he's leaving

then theres a swarm of cows rinning over his plowed ground

the3 kid sez they cut a buncha fences

the kid asksd whatwoud shane do if he caught em

I didn't hear wat he sed

the kid sez; aww shaaaaane!

I assume he said B0NE EM DEAD

at home se sez he looked at shanes gun

shane sez to leave it alone

also he wants shane to teach him how tyo shoot

shaner teaches him gun basics

the kid weants shaNE TO shoot a rock

he nails it fast

like me synchro summing on on the 1st turn

the mom don't weant her kid to have guns around and wants all guns gone

but then they'd use knives

shane sez a gun is just a tool and is only as good ort bad as its user

nowadays the gun phobic message would be shown as positive

but back hen tey had brains

also

prisons have 0 guns and people are beat or b0ned dead every day

at the store/baR THE badds talk and 1 guy stands up to them

also its independence day

oh and its set in Alabama

shouldn't there be more confederate flags?

what year is this?

later its a partyand the dad sez he got married a decade ago that day

they kiss and theres a dance

shane dances with the mom

a guy sez a guy with 2 guns was hired by the leader

shane knows him and sez hes tough

like shiva from streets of rage 2 and 3

at night its dark and the fam is surrounded by guys

the leader wants the dad to work for him

he turns em doen

he also wants to but the farm from him

thern goes on a monologue about how he made this country and these candy a55es come in when the work is done

he's got some pount there

the dad sez the trappers and Indians did more b4 him

the leader sez; they wernt ranchers!

MONSTER RANCHER!!

they talk for a while

just cap eachother already!

the leader offers the kid a job

then leaves

wtf

I thought he'd cap em

later the badds want to ice the dad and need to bring him in this place

they need to do it a certain way to avoid legal trouble

later a guy goes tp get whiskey and walks careful in the mud

a baddie(oh its 2guns) waljs by and menaces

I think its jack palance

thry draw guns but jack is faster

the guy slowly raises his gun and gets iced

dumba55

if he's already got it on ja, you gotta hold off

a guy goes around spreading word the guy got capped

the new guy is too fast

they need to sniper his a55

the dad wants to go to town to face em

but the mom sez wait for back up

the fam wants to leave

wait, its another fam

the dad wants to at least have the guy have a funreal

they have it and pray for his soul

nowadays they'd avoid the Christian content

I hate how every film has a sad moment

except commando

and the yugioh movie

they talk about their kids needing a safe place to live

they get a speech

then the homes get burned down

they decide to rebuild

but they're in a field

theres no wood

the dad wants to settle it

the leader wants to bring the dad there

to ice

the kid wants shane to do something

the leader comes up and (wait, its not the leader) blames the guy who got capped for getting capped(he's kinda right)

they leave

a guy comes up and warns shane that the dads not going to a fair fight

the dad wants to go there with his heater

the mom whines against it

the kid is having an autism attack and running around spinning and saying BANG

once at the dollar store I wanted a police kid toy

but my mom didn't want me to get it if it had a toy gun

moms are so gun phobic

that's racist

the dad explains hid reasoning in a calm way

the dad sez shanes coming with a firearm

shane wants to go instead so dad fights him

if this were made today it would be a b0ning contest and whoever b0nes the other guy wins

the fight scares the animals

must be their KI

once I was at my cousins place and my aunts dog was there

I didnt move or say anything

but I had a negative thought on the dog

and it started freakin out

ut can sence CHI

in the fight shane busts the da with his gun

not capping

just beating

the kid sez he hates shane

what a p o s

shane otta cram his gun up the kids a55

shane leaves and the kid sez sorry

the mom sez the shane did what he had to do

I just realized this kid is like lynn and shane is like Kenshiro from Hokuto no ken

shane spends the next several mins riding in the dark

its just a black screen

he eventually gets there and talks with the real jack palance(the guy he fought b4 was another guy)

theres a stand off

calm v4 the storm

he sez jacks a low down yankee liar

shane pulls his firearm and caps ack palance then turns and ices the leader who was drawing

the kid warns shane and he caps a guy hiding

as shane leavesthe kid overcomes his autism and asks if the guy was wilson(and tells him he knew he could win)

the shane leaves and the kid wants to go with him

shane sez no and that he's not meant for home life

this reminds me of water world how keven iscter goes off to live in the ocean

the kid notice shane is leaking blood

shane sez he's fine and tells the kid to grow up strong and straight

shane leaves and the kid calls for him to come back

the end

I liked this film

its up there with john fords the iron horse in westerns

for shane 2 I'd like for it to pick up where it left off and shane goes to a holy place in the area hidden by illusions and bathe in healing water. he returns and finds that its been 5 years since he left as the water area has time properties and the kid is now a teen and the English have invaded america and taken over half of the country. the area he's in is on the borderline and the brits are planning to advance. also they have banned guns and only shane has a gun in the area(the brits attack in sheen numbers like ants swarming over an elephant and beat people with billy clubs).so shane leads an uprising against the oppressing people and starts his own independence day to free the west from English oppression.

Saturday Night Fever Review

note I cant read
Saturday night fever
this is my review on Saturday night fever
I always got this associated with Saturday night live
spoiler; mad tv is better!
I never liked s  n l as much
my mom sez it was better in the 70s
still not as good as mad tv
my rents liked the 70s where as for me, I love da 80s and 90z
btw; im watching the uncut version
it stars jon Travolta b4 he did face/off
that movie was bad but fun
you know what i want for face/off 2? william shatner and christopher walken playing eachother!
the movie starts with Travolta walking to music
staying alive
I recall his song from the 90s for a battery add with the last toy ing I think Duracell
also I imagined this song saying "zeo 5" after power rangers zeo
jon wears a leather suit and red top
he tries seducing a girl to b0ne
no dice
he goes into a store with a bag and goes back to work at the store
he talks with a guy in a hat about the mans wifes a55
later jonny is malcontent over his pay coming in Monday
the boss don't want him blowing it on a weekend of drugs and b0ning
he comes home and his rents ride his a55
we then get a montage of him gromingin a speedo
I assume he was nude in the real version
he also gets dressed
this isn't power rangers!
you don't need to eat film showing a transformation
jonny don't wanna eat as he sez he don't wanna get anything on his shirt
1st; take off the shirt and eat in ur undies (I do it)
2; he's probably got anorexia
so hewears a towel over it
the fam hits and argues
jonny is malcontent over his dad hitting his hair
also the mom has weird ways of thinking
if they wernt italiano, I'd think she was polish
that night jenny's droogs pick him up in a car and they're drinking/swearing
they want more tapes (audio cassettes)
this movie is like a less funny more sad night at the Roxbury
at the club one of his droogz is lusty and wants to b0ne
this is turning into clockwork orange
ijn the club theres a rainbow lighted floorand the Beethoven song 70s-ized
I remember on rugrats
stu wanted to keep his disco suit
angelica asked what disco is?
dee dee said
its something that was around a long time ago, and is never coming back
odd enough, the 80s and 90s never left
transformers, g I joe, he man, Robotech, thundercats, smurfs, dragonball,saulor moon, power rangers, ninja turtles, pokemon, yugioh, sonic, Mario, Zelda, contra, Castlevania, Voltron
it may sink underground for a bit
but always resurfaces
as disco inferno (not to be confused with dante's inferno) plays, the droogs talk about b0ning women and mouths
jonny dances wth a 4'9 woman but the music changes and jonny is malcontent
so many malcontent teens b0ning
its like degrassi
jonny shows interest in a wo man who can dance
they're gonna b0ne and make kids who will be in sarturday night fever GX
as a wo man gets undressed on stage in a small bikini, jonny talks with a chick about a dance contest coming up
as the now nearly nude woman dances, jonny goes to the car to get his friend outta the car
they get there and he's b0ning a chick in the car loudly and we see his tanned a55
this movie is turning into clockwork orange
then jonny dances to a bee gees song
reminds me of achy breaky heart
I think the song is called "night fever"
I assume that's slang for aids
everyones b0ning so much it might as well be
the next day jonny wakes up in bed in his undies
he reaches into his undies and checks if he still has parts
the next day they're playin some b ball
they talk about wanting more money
well... its the 70s... they could do p0rn0
at work a guy offers jonny a job that pays better
his boss gives him a $2:50 raise
but it goes to 4$
at home jonny starts b--ching about how the only time anyone ever said he was good at something was dancing and a 4$ raise
later the 4'9 chick is gonna do the dance contest with him
they go to a dance studio and the owner sez he b0nes 65% of the chix jonny recommends to try his dance place
also jonny gets free dance room time for sending the owner customers
after the 4;8 chick leaves he tries to b0ne a ballet chick
she turns him down
when jonnuy gets home hias big bro has returned and the fam is bummed
his bro is quitting being a priest
if this were made today his bro would probably wanna be a wo man or have an amputee fetish or something trendy now
at night they talk and his ex priest describes his malcontentary over having to live up to his rents expectations
my mom wants me to cut and spike my hair
I like my hair long and 80s
ohhh yuu lookd sooo goood
f dat
I hated it
jonny sez he saw the big bro as the good bro and himself as the j-ck off
now he's the good son
at the dance place he asks out the ballet girl for the dance contest and coffee
later theyre talking about different areas of new York being better or worse
I thought it was all 1 sinful slum
they talk about romeo ad juliet
spoiler; king kong was a better love story
and its intespecies romance
as they talk they find they has nothings in commons
at her office Laurence Olivier came in and jonny don't know him
in high school in the mid 00s a kid did something and the teacher said he had audacity.
no one in class knew what it meant.
i said it meant chutzpa.
no one knew what that meant either.
freekin monkeys
did they even watch the simpsons?!
once in english class i read a page as shatner.
no one knew what i was doing except the teacher.
one chick; doz sum 1 ack chew lee tokk like dat??
as they talk they find he's a loser with no plans and wasting time at a dance
reminds me of me going to yugioh turn's every weekend
later jonny finds out some Mexicans beat up/mutilated/maybe b0ned their droog
so they go for payback
this is turning into clockwork orange
they drive around looking for some Mexicans to beat up
but they don't find any
at dinner his rents accuse him of saying something that made his bro go out all night
they they go mental and yell about having sh-tty children and the bro not going back to priesthood
later jonny tells the 4'6 girl hes got a better partner
she goes mental
man
women get so emotional all the time over nothing
they don't see logic
just emotion
but they still deserve love
well
not if they're scum
but even good women can go mental
then jonny dances with the ballet chick
while dancing he takes the record and they go to a bigger room to dance
btw
if anyone gets offended over that women comment
just remember
1; its a joke
2; if you go mental over it then ur kinda proving it true
lol
later at night she sez she had lunch with paul anka
but jonny is malcontent
he asks her if hes interesting or smart
she sez hes interesting
maybe intelligent
remember; maybe can also mean no
then we get the dance scene with the undressed bikini girl flopping her b00bs around and people dancing
shouldn't there be more drugs?
I just realized that each dance is a new weekend
jony is with his droogs and bro
1 girl asks jonny if hes as good in bed as dancing
maybe they could do a fusion of dancing and b0ning
I just realized this film is a lot like flashdance
then jonny dances in a way impressive in the 70s
he gets the whole floor
it looks bad by todays sandards
I liked napoleon dynamite better
he does a leg thing that's pretty cool though
his bro realizes that his kid bro has skill
like my dad realizing im smart when I read Japanese
one of the droogs wants to know if the pope could give special dispensation for him killing his gf's unborn kid
the bro sez no
despite him being catholic he seems not to get certain parts of the church
like j fk or trudeau or gacy being catholic but doing contrary things
then again we all screw up
later jonny is b0ning a girl and asks her questions on her birth control
she sez shes not using any and he stops b0ning her
btw I just now realized the movie is widescreen
so much night and dark its hard to notice
they go to a bridge and screw around
dumba55 teens
then they fall off
but they were really on a platform under view
they did it to f with the ballet girl
the next day the bro moves out and suggests jonny doers something with his dancing
he left his priest neck thing
after dancing with his ballet girl him and the guys wanna go beat up some Mexicans
the girl sez she met david bowie and they talk about who he b0nes
at the burger place his droogs are a55es
the droog who got the girl pregnant asks the girl about it ansd she sez she'd rather kill than marry him
jonny quits his job cuz he wont get the afternoon off
the friend don't wanna marry a girl cuz she wont kill their kid and everyone sez they gotta marry
maybe you shouldn't have been b0ning her
wtf
the pregnancy friend was wearing high heelsthen jonny and the ballet girl drive across a bridge
she sez she got the whole day off and wasn't fired
what a j-ck off jonny is
he's so disgruntled and malcontent
at the place they go to the girl seems to have been b0ning a guy who lived there b4
despite jonny having friends who b0ne a lot, he goes mental over the idea of her b0ning him
she denies b0ning him and sez he helped her
she gets upset over his being a d-ck
he gives facts about the bridge that no one cares about
also a guy was buried in the cement in it
sounds like something that would happen at Disney land
happiest place on earth my a55
that kid getting eaten by a gater was the tip of the iceberg
later jonny sees a girl dancing with the dance place owner and goes mental over the guy's lust
wait
wasn't that the girl he was at the apartment with?
im confused
at night they bust their car into a mexico place and fight
1 guy slugs out a chick that was beating jonny
good
if someone throws a punch they shouldn't be afraid to take a punch
at the hospital ThEY realize the mexico place they beat up was the wrong gang
wait
they were in the hospital visiting the guy who got beat up
and he wasn't sure it was that gang who busted him
then its the dance contest
I shoudve mentioned b4 but im pretty sure the bridge will be important later as they mentioned it b4 so much
jonny and the 4'4 girl dance to the bee gees
its pretty calm and mellow
then some portu Ricans come o and dance to music I'd expect to hear is a 70s cop film
jonny is surprised they are good
one of his homies says they cant be cuz of their race
jonny thinks they're better than him
no one else does
the porto Ricans get 2nd and jonny gets 1st
the black guy sez jonny is the fred Astaire of brooklyn
he's nowhere near fred astaires level
jonny goes on a malcontent tirade and gives the 1st place prize to the portoricans
he b--ches for a while and tries to b0ne the 4'2 girl
he raepes her and she runs out
he fights his droogs and they say he don't care about her
wtf is his problem?!
what a p o s man!
they drive around raeping a girl and jonny does nothing
this freekin IS clockwork orange!
at the bridge they screw around
they compare d0ngz
the girl runs and jonny gets her
1 guy climbs the wires of the bridge
its the baby daddy
despite them doing the same thimng, the droogs call it dangerous
even beavis and butthead wernt that bad
he goes whiny about cr-p and gets emo
then falls off the bridge
he aint gonna be in Saturday night fever 2
this is like degrassi where that teen did grugs, fell/jumped off a bridge and got brain damage
jonny takes the subway home
the next day jonny goes to the dance partner girl and sez sorry for raeping her
he's done with dancing and wants a real job
they reconcile and hug
the end
the music was ok but this\ film has a lot of awful cr-p in it
then again I did like Urotsukidoji and violence jack and they were similar in content
not bad
kinda dark and edgy
like degrassi meets violence jack is how I'd describe this
or Urotsukidoji and degrassi
for Saturday night fever 2 I'd like the girl all the guys b0ned and the pregnant girl and jenny's girl to have has kids and its set in the early 90s where 1 is into sega and one is into super Nintendo and 1 likes both. also dancing has become the yugioh of this new world and instead of sports theres dancing contests where people settle issues with dancing and dance fighting. jonny is the king of dance but his kids is a 90s kid who wants to play sega and watch batman and power rangers and jonny is having issues from using steroids to keep up with the new kung fu dance fighters and their roids.

Queen Christina Review

note; my typing is still bad

queen Christina

this is my review on queen Christina

the greta garbo from from da 30z

I like early talkies

cool to see where they began

it starts with credits and text

in 1632 Sweden was at was for 30 years

then the king bit it

why was he in the front lines?!

then it sez they were fighting for 14 years

make up ur mind!

so they make his daughter Christina (now called chris by me) king

shes like 8

at the crowning the butler or w/e crys and chris sez men don't cry

what about in Hokuto no ken?

kenshiro sheds manly tears

or batman?

batman was f'd up though

saw his rents blown away at 8

chris gives a speech and we cut to horses running

a guy in a hat comes up the stairs to the castle

wait

that man is greta garbo

shes a tomboy

my Japanese gramma was a tomboy in the 20s/30s

its been a timeskip and shes a grown a55 wo man

chris was called back to meet with a prince named Charles

hope he don't have his woman wacked

chris is told of her troops losses and she sez she may have to hire foreigners

hope theyere non union

her cousin comes in and they kiss on the cheek cuz theyre European

the people have a meeting or something and rthey talk about how this war is about God

defending their religion or something

she asks the poors their view

chris wants to have a peace meeting

but the people want war

she wants to stop the killing b4 the Europe is ruined and everyone crippled

she later signs a paper but I didn't read it fast enuff

later the butler comes to wake up chris and she's reading

if this were made today she'd be playing Gameboy

she goes outside and runs snow on her face

she talks about a play writer(masybe shakespere)(spoiler; shakespere s-cked)

and she talks about marriage and not wanting to sleep with a man in a room

is this a lesbian movie?

sounds like something go nagai would do

she is set to marry Charles

hope he don't have her wacked

later she talks to a frenchie who looks a bit like weird al yankovic

he's got the hair and moustache

but hes uglier

the frenchie

not weird al

later she wants to let italiano's and Spaniards each in swedens universities but her advisor thinks its bad

also chris don't wanna marry chales cuz hes only good at fighting

chris is malcontent over being a slave to the country she leads

and the pressure to breed an heir to the lineage

and having snow in sweden

isn't Sweden a polar country??

I never really knew much about it

people think Canada is a tundra country with inbred lumberjacks fighting bears and eating moose

later she talks to a guy who wants to b0ne her

but she's not interested

he looks like a a66 hole anyway

then she walks by a chick b--ching about her and she tells her off

her butler warns her that a Spaniard is coming and they gotta watch out cuz swedes are protestant

I thought they were the good guys

then chris goes out on horseback in the snow

she comes across a carriage stuck in da snow and laughs at em

what an a55

the carriage is full of Spaniards

she gives em advice and it helps

they think chris is a dude

and give her a coin with her face on it

like in the bible; give what is cesars to cesar and give what is God's to God

they arrive at the inn at night

everyone thinks chris is a dude

well, in Europe its easy to get it mixed up

several people thought I was a chick

what with my European Castlevania good looks and long blonde hair

then the Spaniards arrive

how do you think that's a dude?! its greta garbo!! considered one of the most beautiful chix in the 20s-40s

I mean lady gaga doesn't have that good a face so she shows off her bod to distract us

but still man

btw she looks a bit like that plus size model viva la Valerie

garbo, not gaga

the main Spaniard talx with chris and they get along

they discuss the differences in love between cultures

garbo don't think theres perfect love

then theres almost a barfight with 2 cowboy looking dudes over how many dudes the queen b0ned last year

1 sez 6 1 sez 9

they ask garbo and she sez 12

garbo sez it with a grin and joy

everyone cheers

shes quite a dude

if queen christina was set in modern times, greta garbo would be an 80s chick with a sleeveless jean jacket and short spiked neon hair and leather fingerless gloves and maybe 80s shades or a visor.

hay Vasquez! you ever been mistaken for a man???

no... have you??????

so chris and the main Spaniard talk and she don't wanna share a room

they go to the room and this Swedish chick starts hitting on chris

this is turning into go nagai

like kekko kamen with less naked chix

they I mean he starts getting undressed and reveals he's a knight in spain

while talking he sez men should sleep on their left side for their sword arm

if u sleep on ur left it puts pressure on ur stomach and causes weird or freaky dreams

she starts getting undressed and he sees her b00bs bulging under her top

he's glad since he sensed something and is glad he's not turning queer

the next day its snowing and they are stuck there for 3 days

also he wants to stay in bed

I assume they're b0ning

she turned straight

if this were made nowadays it would show em b0ning or nude

here it has class

she admits shes happy for once

She sez its how the Lord must've felt after beholding the finished world

they talk about their love for a while

they plan to meet again in Stockholm and go off

later back home chris sez the chick who b--ched about her can marry her love

royals deciding who can marry who???

that's un american!

then the Spaniards come in and her bf is surprised to see the chick he b0ned in a dress and as a queen

after the meeting in the room, he meets her privately

the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne her meets with and subtly tells off the Spaniard that his kind isn't welcome

he gives her a painting of the spainish king\

he has issues with her playing with his heart as shes a queen and he's a knight

but she was just happy to be not seen as a queen

the a66 whole who wanted to b0ne her spreads propaganda against her Spaniard bf

btw, only greta garbo has a Swedish accent in Sweden

everyone else sounds either american or sometimes like a cowboy

chris confronts em and they don't say anything

but once she leaves they keep b--ching

she confronts her staff

her butler wants the people protesting arrested or opened fire upon

but she sez no

had the czar been more commanding he and his fam might not have been shredded by gunfire by commies

she dismisses the guards and lets the malcontents in

she calls em out 1 at a time and uses logic to point out their errors

like pointing out errors with political correctness

but unlike the politically correct, the people accept logic and change their tune

nowadays it might be better to take down the malcontent protesters

this turn around of the people is like something president Reagan would have done

the a66 hole who wanted 2 b0ne the garbo takes the Spaniard to "protective"custody

the garbo knows he started the malcontent uprisings and he wants the Spaniard sent home

also he has given his men orders to ice the Spaniard if he is iced

she gives the spainard a passport and sends him off

whats wrong with the Spaniards?

they're Europeans too

by Portugal and Italy

the chick who b--ched about the queen gives the Spaniard a letter from da qween

the chris talks to the butler about how she has a great burdon and wants freedom

she don't wanna marry Charles (cuz hes gonnas wack her?) but is told she must

theres a big ceremony and she is told only swedes should rule Sweden

makes sense

you don't see the poles wanting to rule japan

she makes Charles the new king and isn't marrying him but rather quitting queen-ness

the people don't want her to go

this reminds me of the kings speech where that guy left leading candy a55 England for going with the fine a55 woman he loves

no one wants to take her crown off so she does it herself(which shocks people)

then she takes off her cape

what next?? her top?

She thanks the Lord for His giving her queen-ness and good breeding

then leaves

maybe now the people can elect accountable leaders instead of giving appointed people life time jobs that steer the country in their image against the will of the people

at the border the chris arrives and changes horses then goes on

meanwhile the spainard is swordfighting a guy

I think its the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne the queen

after a night at the inn, the chris gets to the shipyard

on the boat she finds the Spaniard dead

wait, he's got some hit points left

they kiss and talk and he bites it

she goes off to sail and in an iconic scene w/ good music looks toward the unknown as the wind blows

the end

that was good

not much action

but well done

they otta show this on the history channel

better than skyfall the james bond movie

for queen Christina 2 I'd like her going on an adventure to California or new jersey to fnd ther gate to h-ll to being back her bf but he comes back as a daemon. also, the a66 hole who wanted to b0ne her has starscreamed his way to becoming the king of Sweden and has taken over the Europe. so her daemon bf and her with h-ll items must fight her way to fre their country from his evil. its also a 2 player beat em up with 1 player as greta gerbo and 1 as the bf and is on sega genesis and super Nintendo and the new king has ritual sacrificed his people to become a super human.