Friday, October 28, 2016

The Wolf Man

note; my speling cr-ppiness is unchanged
the wolf man
this is my review on da wolf man(40s version)
it starts with clips from later in the film and the characters and actors images and names
its got claude rains, bela Lugosi and lon chaney jr
then we get a dictionary book and a text about lycanthropy
\then the movie starts
2 dudes drive up to a big a55 house
lon chaney plays claude rains son
\they talk to a guy who's an ex cop
like in streets of rage on sega genesis
its revealed lon chaneys bro bit it
it was a hunting accident
also his dad clade rains is a scientist
lon and dad look at a telescope at people in the street
he uses it to peek at a blonde IN A WINDOW OF A ANTIQUES store
if this were made today she'd be either nude or in her undies
so lon chaney goes there and says he wants some item
\she sez have not em he sez they r on her dressing table in her room
he sez hes psychic
nowadays he'd be a purvo
but here its sown to be nice
she shows him a stick with a wolf and a star on it
they talk about werewolves
she sez little red riding hood was a werewolf story
but the ORIGINAL brothers grimm story had "the wolf" as just some serial killer/purvo who tears apart gramma, puts her blood in a bottle and gets red to feast on them
wolf is his street name
like t bird in the crow isn't a real t bird
or wolverine in x men isn't a real wolverine
she sez that werewolfs have pentagrams on their next victims hands
\they agree to go on a date
as they leave they see gypsies coming into town
being polish and Slovenian, I heard bad things about those people
later the dad tells lon chaney the same poem the blonde told him
as they go out on a date, a nother wo man joins em to get their fortune told
lon chaneys name in here is larry
like larry the cable guy
I like him
his health inspector movie was so stoopid but it made me lol
they go to the gypsy place and meet bela Lugosi
as lon and bLONde walk in the fog of the wood he comes out about using a telescope
the other wo man talks to bela Lugosi
he sees a star in her hand
its not a rea pentagram as it has no lines inside
bela sends her a55 away and freaks out
btw,how'd he see the star?
is it only visible to those with sight beyond sight?
then lon attacks a wolf hat was b0ning some girl
he kills its a55 with his wolf cane but is wounded
once my grampa told me he fought off a wolf in the 30 of Slovenia
the gypsies bring lon and bLONde to his dads house
then some guys look into the woman b0ned dad by a wolf
he gypsy who was bela Lugosi is found beat dead near by
man, he didn't last long in here
he next day they tell lon chaney bela Lugosi bit it
he sez he killed the wolf with the stick
also the wolf wound is fully healed
later a cop and the dad and some guy talk and try to rationalize it
then lon chaney follows bela Lugosi's coffin to a grave
no this isn't Dracula vs the phantom of the opera
a priest and female gypsy come in and disagree over pagan rituals being used for bela
she sez a poem and leaves
meanwhile the blonde is disgruntled over the wo man biting it
then some b--chy women come in and blame her for the woman biting it
they leave when lon chaney comes in
he talks to her and they recap the events thus far
we had blacula, blackenstein and dr black and mr hyde
why was there never a black wolfman?
It could work in da 70z
a dog comes in and barks at lon chaney
the dog owner don't like lon chaney
lon leaves and the dog owner sez he senses some wrong with lon
he may not actually be the dog owner
I was typing and listening
they all go to a carnival and at the bb gun game lon does well but cant shoot a wolf
\lon talks to the female gypsy and she sez hes got werewolf syndrome
he freaks out and she gives him a charm
he goes into the woods a bit with the gf and they recap what she told him
he gives the charm to the her
they're about to b0ne but everyone starts packing up the carnival cuz of a werewolf
then lon chaney has a trippy experience
when he gets hom he\s getting hairy
he's turning italiano!!
\then his feet become bear fee
he goes through the forest at night as a werewolf
good use of fog btw
good atmosphere
he then attacks a gravedigger
the cops arrive and find him and animal wolf trax
the mud trax lead into the house and up to lon chaneys muddy feet
oh f
hes a furry!
the wolf man is his fursona!
this movie introduced furry TF(transformation) to  general audience
I bet this turned a lotta guys furry
just like rouge the bat in the sonic games
or renamon in digimon season 3
lon chaney wakes up and cleans up the mud
his dad tells him the plot up to now and sez the wolf might be from a circus or zoo
he sez good and evil ae in mens souls and that evil can take forms of an animal
so fursona's are evil?
then they go to church
strange considering claude rains role in angel on my shoulder made near this fllm
some b--chy broad suspects larry is a killer as they had no murders until he came
what about the gypsies?
in church larry has issues
later lon chaney sez its not a wolf, its a werewolf
\1 guy tries to rationalize it by saying its psychosomatic
and any mental issue can be cured with the cooperation of the patient
that's considered offensive today as some people like their fetishes and deviancy and fantasy they force on normals
later some guys bury something in the ground and cover it with leaves
that night larry comes out as a wolfman and gets his foot caught in a bear trap
if you b0ne a werewolf, is that interspecies?
the female gypsy says the poem she said b4 over larry
he turns human
he gets out of da trap and runs
but is seen by hunters
he tells  em he's hunting too
he goes to the antique store and wakes up the gf by throwing rox at da windo
he tells her hes skipping town
she wants to stay with him
he sees a star on her hand and runs home
he tells dad he killed the gypsy and shows him the star scar on his chest
dad claims its not werewolf cr-p but could be natural
dad tells larry hes not a id and keeps denying the supernatural
dad ties larry to a chair and b0nes him
he doesn't b0ne him
but he tells him denial of larrys beliefs
that's offensive to larrys identity choices
dad goes on the hunt and sez he left larry facing the window to see the hunt
the dad faces the gypsy female and she points out he has some belief
he hears gunfire and runs toward it like a dumba55
the blonde gf comes by and the female gypsy tells her to avoid the woods
se goes in anyway like a dumba55 and the wlflarry gets her
but claude rains saves her and fights off larry wolf with the silver cane
he beats his son dead for being a furry
the gypsy female says da poem and the larry turns human I front of the claide rains
look what your denial has done
everyone shows up and the cop sez the wolf attacked and larry fought him off
its a cover up like with daiaiana
the end
my dad is a denier too
if j fk crawled out of h-ll right in front of him and told him he and r fk killed and b0ned marylin monrowe, he'd say its fake
I like this film
good feel and mood and effects and story
lon chaney jr looks kinda like Alfred Molina
for the wolf man 2 I'd like for the dad to ave become obsessed with bringing his son back. he has turned and now knows the supernatural is real and has gotten into the black arts. the film shows his journey into witchcraft and tarot cards and yoga and him gaining wicked powers. eventually he decides to ritual sacrifice the whole village to open the gates of h-ll to return his son. but the towns people and together and have an epic battle of fighting him and most of the getting blown apart or limbs blasted off by black magic attacks. eventually they get him and b0ne him dead as only b0ning can kill him. but he can be revived by people b0nin outside of marriage so town has a morals law emplaced(which is repealed after people forget why its there and think they don't need it anymore as "its modern times now maaaaaaaaaan!") and the dad retuns and starts chopping up the descendants of the people who sealed him.

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