Sunday, October 30, 2016

The Tingler Review

note; my spellings not so bad
the tingler
this is my review on the tingler
its got vincent price and is directed by William castle
aw gross
its widescreen
it starts with William castle coming on screen and saying that some people watching the film can feel whaT HAPPENS ON FILM
he tells us that if we have to, we shpuld scream
it can save our life
then it shows a guy screaming
he's on jail amd they take him away
this is done during the opening credits
then they bring him out and hes dead
then a guy talks to Vincent price as he autopsies the guy
they talk about the screamer getting the chair
according to law, you gotta autopsy after an execution
the guy hes cutting up has shattered vertebrae
it happens to people who were scared
if fear causes tension, why cant it get strong enough to kill you?
its revealed the chaired guy iced 2 chicks
the guy talking t price (oliver) sez the killer was his bro in law
price gives him a ride to his home and he lives in an olde timey theatre
they're showing tol able david
didn't that have lon chaney?
he invites price in for beer or coffee
price wants coffee
I prefer pop
they talk about silent movies
rice likes Charlie chaplain
the over's wife comes in
she's ocd and is deaf/mute
se washes hands often and don't shake hands
Vincent acidentaly cuts his hand and the wife freaks out and faints
what is she? naga from slayers??
price sez she cant release her fear by screaming so she blacks out
later she checks a safe with money and needs them to leave
she has to open up the theatre and cant leave anyone alone with her safe
later price goes home and chats with his wife
their daughter is revealed to be out partying cuz her husband is out too much
I think its her sister
then a guy comes in and makes out with the wife
I think its his wife
they talk about needing cats to scare to test cr=p on
he tells the guy about the deafmute
price sez theres something stronger than steel in the backbone that does fear
he calls it...
then the wife and the guy go out
a 1 am price hears a car and gets a gun
A BL0NDE COMES IN and prie has some back and forth with her
I think shes his woman and his being out makes he go out and b0ne guys
shes kind of a b--ch and dnt want her soster to marry a guy she likes
price alludes to her getting wacked soon
price ez she should leave the woman and her bf alone and give em half her cash
she reveals se wacked er dad to get his money but denies it
she threatens to leave him and take half his everything
price pulls a gun on her and ets her into a room
h tells her to stop ruining the sisters life or he'd waste her
she b--ches and he cap her 5kanky a55
then he gets her body on the operating table and x ray's her
shes got a big a55
nowadays rappers would be b0ning her
she wakes p and he reveals he was shooting blanks
nowadays people would be offended by a woman as the bad guy and her husband being smarter than her
the next day the BF Of the girl comes by and price shows him x ray's of the back
theres a thing harder and denser than bone
they reveal it lives in very backbone and screaming stops it from breaking backs
its separate and living in a human body
so its like a back pregnancy
if someone cant scream it could waste em and they can autopsy it
later hes having coffee with the young couple
he wants to be scared to experience the tingler but nothing scares him
so he sends the couple to a movie or w/e
they are suspicious and reveal the guy brought an acid
he locks himself in a lab and injects himself
the guy sez the stuff he injected gives a guy living nightmares
price tarts freaking out
he thinks the walls ae closing in on him
I think he took drugs
the girl worries that he might f his mind
he freaks out and tries not to scream
but he does
later he sez he thinks no one can avoid screaming unless they cant
price goes to da theatre and sez he wants to ceck on the deaf mute wife
shes been freaked out from seeing a drop of blood and cant function
he goes to see her and sez she's gonna give him a shot and a prescription for sleeping pills
she lets him inject her despite bein afraid of shaking hands b4 and leaves
he gives the husband a prescription and the husband goes to fill it
he wakes up and sees weird cr=p
items moving on their own
then a deformed guy gets up and comes at her with  blade(not a beyblade)
she locks him out and in the next room sees lights turning on and off
a door opens and a rotting hand throws an axe
she goes to the bathroom and theres blood coming out the sink
its red despite this film being b/w
the tub is full of blood and a hand comes out
she sees a death certificate for it
it sez the cause was fright
she bites it
price talks to the blonde and its implied she b0ning a guy
2 wine glasses with only her there
then oliver brings in his woman
he sez he found her after having some beer
proce sez she bit it
as he and Ollie go over the details the wife sits up
but proce sez it dont mean shes alive
proce starts cutting her up
we don't see it but we get a silhouette oh him pulling out a big thing
its da tingler!!
it looks like a big a55 centipede
it starts b0ning prces arm but he screams and it stops
its strong enuff to wack a guy
proce puts it in a box
it actually looks pretty cool
nowadays it would be all cg
Ollie takes the body home
remember in violence jack where the 9 foot tall biker's hermaphrodite gf got her head, left t-t and 9 inch thing sliced off, and he ate her?
later the blonde and the incent price are getting along and they talk about the tingler
they drink
Ollie calls and proce blacks out
then Ollie brngs a mask of the blade guy and other props away
he was part of it
she loved him anD HE WACKED her
this is the kinda stuff sailor moon or wedding peach fight
as price sleeps the blonde releases the tngler and it starts b0ning his neck
the girl dating the guy comes in and screams
it saves him
later proce sez they cant destroy the tingler
and he don't wana let out info on it
its an abomination
he wants to return it to the deaf mute
but they cant find where Ollie took her
they call him but he's cleaning out the safe and getting ready to skip town
price comes in and finds he was part of icing her
the Ollie sez she tried to waste him b4
the tingler gets out and into the theatre
in there they show tol able david
in the theatre a guy tries to get comfy with his woman
she pulls away
the tingler grabs her leg and she screams
prce interupts the silent film and sez theres no reason to be afraid
the tingler gets into the projection thing and goes across he screen
prce sez dot panic but scream cuz the tingler is in the theatre
when this film was in theatres, William castle had buzzers in the seats and would activate em to make people thnk the tingler was really in there with em
that must've been fun
h sez its been stopped by screaming and the movie will continue
the screen was black during vncents narration
they catch t and bring it back to the home
the Ollie sez hes sorry and price inspired him to do it
price sez; just cuz poison exsts don't mean u gotta kill someone with it
he sez its not ike he capped er but price sez killing sene on purpose is murder
take THAT assisted suicide!
Ollie pulls a gun on rice but he walks out
pretty bad a55
ollies woman stands up and e almost screams
the end
then price sez to the audience; if u don t think u have a tingler for real, next time ur in the dark... dont scream!!!
the end
that was bad a55
I liked it
cheerful horror fun
good pseudo science
good creepy stuff
good effects
and vnvent price is always wonderful
fo the tingler 2 i'd like for the wife to be just a puppet controlled by the tingler and it manipulates her nerves with electricial cr-p to move her. it goes around scaring people and feeding off their fear but stops em from screaming by punching in their throats. it gets stronger and fuses with her into a grotesque monstrosity that looks like something from Urotsukidoji or la blue girl. the husband has survived by screaming at he last second after the film ended. he's learned the error of his ways and wants to save his woman. he trains in prayer and is able to use spiritual armor to fight the tingler monstrosity. after he beats it, she is purified like in sailor moon and ca hear and speak despite never having done so b4. also its a plaT FORM GAME ON SEGA GENESIS AND SUPER NINTENDO and you play as the Ollie and go around fighting people turned into tingler monsters by being b0ned by the tingler woman.

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