note; will I spell it right? place bets now!
dial m for murder
this is my review for fdial m for murder
from Alfred Molina I mean Hitchcock
shouldn't it be spelled; hicchoch?
maybe in Slovenian
in the 90s on Dexter's lab was dial m for monkey
that was a good show
back to the movie
its in color
yays
but widescreen
nooo
its based on a play?
with music by some Slavic guy named Dimitri
I gotta say the colors are bright and positive
a guy has breakfast with his blonde wife
what was it with hitchcik and blondes?
its like go nagai and hermaphrodites
turns but she's been b0ning this guy while married to another
I think
she has some relationship with a guy named tony
we get a lotta back story in this opening thing
she got love letters but burned em after reading\but 1 was swiped
she was black maled over it and paid
but didn't get the letter
\and her cash she sent wasn't opened
btw I should mention these are all brits
I assume that means they are all bad guys lol
I think tony is her husband and the guy she's b0ning is the guy in the room
then the tony comes in and its revealed the b0ning guy is American
his name is mark
like hercule in dbz
mark invites tony to a "stag party"
I assume that means a b0ning thing
I'm not sure
ive never been to one
the tony and blonde leave and the b0ning calls a guy about an American car
in other words; a REAL car
NORMAL cars drive on the REAL side of the road
the other cars are MIRROR cars
IN AMERICA
later the car guy who looks like rock hudson after he got aids comes in and they know eachother from 20 years ago
they drink alcohol
I assume they are the bad guys
if my kids drank alcohol i'd enema them until it was cleaned outta them
he knows the car guy swiped 100 lbs of brittish money and pinned it on some other homie
the tony has wife issues and his woman didn't want him to play tennis(his game)
but one day she wanted him to go
after he left she went to b0ne a guy
but he followed her
he's bummed as if she dumps him like with kim Kardashian he'd not have her cash
he wanted to waste her and the guy she was b0ning
he thought of this while getting drunk
he swiped the letter and only didn't ice her as he saw the car guy in the pub
maybe he's gonna b0ne him
in his and his woman's wills the survivor gets a big pay day if the other bites it
he knows the car guy was in prison and stalked him until he new his routine
the car guy was using fake names to hide his identity and has been conning people
he wants to go to the cops or out tony but theres no evidence it wasn't the car guy doing it
the car guy is also cheeting on his women with other women
its like that sailor moon episode where sailor venus was with tigers eye and hawks eye
oh and the car guy wasted a chick he was with
this is pretty clever
he chooses a guy scummier than I'm to do his dirty work
the guy cant out him as he's way more wanted and deeper in
like in starbarians where trinosaur wanted to bring in the starbarians
we cant bring tis guy in, we're way more wanted than he is!
he sets up a plan to call her to get her into the room and the car guy wastes her
then fakes a robbery
he's gonna say the window was open as she goes for walks in the garden
and as shes not around, she cant testify
he's gonna be at a play or opera or w/e as an alibi
and its gonna happen tomorrow night
the blonde calls her husband and he chats with her
the car guy accepts
the next day the tony and the blonde and the butler talk about writing crime storys
he identifies with the criminal and sez; what would I do next?
they are going out but the blonde wants to go out for the night
he sez; u don't want us going out!
its an act to keep her in
he sez he needs money for the cab and uses it as a chance to get her key
but then the taxy arrives
so he leaves the key on the stairs
at night the car guy comes in and gets the key ad uses it to get n
at the party the tony's watch stopped as he overwound it
I just go digital
at the phone booth he has to wait as theres some geezer in ti
the car guy is leaving and the hone rings
she picks up the phone and the car guy garrotes her with a cloth
but she shanks him in the spine with scissors
as he twists around he falls on is back, the scissors go in deeper
the woman gets the phone and he pretends he don't know what happened
she sez she wacked the guy who tried to ice her and he sez not to touch anything
he tells his droogs the blonde isn't doing well and he needs to go home
he goes home and comforts his woman
he goes through the car guys pockets and she gets aspirin
he gets the key and calls the cops
he sez he don't know if its an accident
he tells her he's gonna talk 2 da cops 4 her
he gets the scarf the car guy tried to wack her with and burns it
then ties 2 socks together and leaves em outside
then intermission
he lied to the cops saying she didn't call em cuz she thought he'd do it from the hotel
he sez its the logical explanation
the cop shows up and checks things
the husband tony misleads the cops and plays innocent
the cop questions why she went to the desk from the other side
also the window was locked and the husband sez he always locks up
also the car guy came in from the door
the suggest when she had her bag jacked the guy took and copied it
then returned it
the woman denies having anything besides cash swiped from her bag
but if the car guy had a double, it would till be on him
the mark comes over and they chat about the tony calling his boss
he claims he needed his number and called his wife to get it for him
the cop reveals he knows mark and the woman were b0ning and the letter as in his pocket
the mark reveals the blackmail letters
the tony sez he heard on the phone the struggle but its not much evidence
the stockings in the area of the attack were from the womans knitting bag
the husband sez the cops must be planting clues
what is this? O J?
you know wikipedia doesn't classify him as a murderer
also they call acupressure and creation science "pseudo science"
yet call anyone who questions global arming a "denier"
according to al gore; the planet has 5-7 years before the artic is ice free. he said this in the mid 2000's
after a montage of her expressions, shes found guilty
his friend who was into murder mysteries sez he has to lie to the cops to save her
he sez he can say he left his key outside
and he met with him and planned to ice her
and he as lying about stuff
and planted the stockings
and he wants her iced or cheeting on him
and he planted the letter on the body
oh the murder mystery guy is mark
and he did t for the money
and if he says this he'd only get a few years in prison (getting b0ned by big black guys)
they cant hang him for a murder he never did
then the cop comes in and sez hes investigating a money thing and wants to know were he spent and got cash
the cop places a key on the floor and pretends to find it
I missed a bit and the cop pressures the tony
tony sez he won 100lbs in dog racing
they mention a case and money and mark in the other room finds and opens it
he out tony but tony outs marks plan to have him fake taking credit for the icing thing
he wants to know where he got the cash and the cop goes through the bank books of the tony w/o a warrant
he finds each week he took out 50 lbs for a while
tony claims the woman gave him it and told him not to tell anyone
the mark sez hes going to tell the woman and she'd change her will to cut him out and leaves
like joan crawl up my a55 Crawford cutting her kids she f'd up out
the cop switches jackets with the tony an sez he needs the tony to come to the station to collect the womans cr=p
the tony laves and the cop goes in and calls the station
mark comes back and the blonde comes in but cant get in
she comes in through the window
her key didn't work
the cop sez he knows of the case but she don't
he sends a op with a purse to bring it back down to the station but has him hide it in a bag as he'd be "arrested" otherwise
nowadays the opposite is true
the cop sez the tony tried to ice her and that he swiped her key and found it didn't work
the tony comes home but cat get in
he goes back to the station
the cop calls em and gives orders
turns out the car guy used the real key and put it back and the key the tony took was the car guys key
the woman not using the key under the stairs was proof she didn't know it was there
if the tony usings the stair key then it mean hes the one who put the key under the stairs
he does so
as the key in the wife bag is the car guy key
he comes in and finds he's f'd
knowing the jig is up, he has a drink and is cordial
the cop calls the phone and brushes his moustache
the end
that was clever
witty and polite
nowadays there'd be more swearing and b0ning
btw, they use the term
making spaghetti
as slang for
b0ning
as b4 the woman and mark b0ned they made spahghetti
sounds like la blue girl
maybe nami sos
I liked this one and felt it was well done and smart
for dial m for murder 2 i'd like for the husband to be in jail and its only a few weeks before hes released and the inmates he p-ssed off see this as their one last chance to get even. so they keep trying to cripple, kill or b0ne him in various traps. but he keeps finding ways to outsmart them. its also a comedy like tom and jerry but with gore and blood and bone removal and people being microwaved until they burst open like a bag of cef boy at dee.
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