Monday, December 26, 2016

The Omega Man Review

note I am an non of spell check
the omega man
this is my review of the omega man
starring Charlton heston
based on the book ; I am legend by; some guy
it starts with a guy driving a red car in da city
living in da city
u know u got 2 survive
living in da city
u got 2 keep dat dream alive
where every thng is free
cant u c
he shoots up a window and we get opening credts
btw I saw the HOMEGA man by the simpsons
aw gay
its widescreen
2/5th of the sceen am black barz
oh and the drector is katy sagal's father
she was on married with children and futurama
Charlton heston ( c h ) finds a dead guy in an rmed truck and takes gasoline
he goes somewhere and finds a 1975 calander h se bikini babe
he talks to himself whlw woeking on a cAR
I talk to myself 2
I love heston
hes a real man
not some candy a55 like Justin trudeau
heston dries the car out and goes to a theatre
he watches a film on Woodstock
c-ck suckin hippies!
GOOD thing 4 da 80z
heston says each line as its sed o film
like me and the transformers movie
after he leaves he hears phones ringing
he sez theres no phone ringing and it stops
des he have reality
its almoist dark and he sez they'll be waking up soon
so he books it
at his home some cloaked pales guys attack but he wastes em
he uses a generator and turns on lights
he goes to the penthouse and recalls nucular with the soviets and Asians
he drinks and the cloaks burn things
its like protesters
the soviets talk (they are albino) (wait its the cloaks, not soviets) talk about how heston cant see in da dark and they cat see in da lihght
they wanna make a new world and wont use tech that humans wiped out the old urth with
oh and they hate da wheel
we get a flashback of a plague wiping out everyone
heston was a dr and working on a vaccine
hope it don't cause autism
he crashes in a chopper and vaccines himself
the cloaks act like a cult
they wanna cleanse him away with fire
heston talks to himsrlf and cooks sausages
the cloaks try catapulting fire at his place
he p;lays chess with a mannequin
da next day hston wants to find the cloaks nest
he gors to some place with corrpses
he finds a cloak but hes dead
he talks into his recorder
later hes in a mannequin store and one is a black woman whos human
he chases her and cant find her
he don't wear a shirt
if this were me i'd be in my undies all da time
he gets a drink
the cloaks catch him and tie him to a table like a ritual
they hate him for being of a technological age
are they hippies?>
they take him to a room
I assume they b0ned him
they hate him for being a scientist
he wats them to be cured but they like being freaks
holy cr-p its been 2 years
they see him as the bad guy for him killing them in self defence
soundx like the news when some junkie loses a fight with a real American
they charge him for being a 20th century guy and not having rotted eyes
and aids lesions
they wanna wipe out all traes of 20th century and b4 life
man they nailed millennials
they take him to be burned at the stake
the lights come on and someonr saves heston
its the 70s black wo man
she pulls a gun on him
they escape
they ride a motorcycle w/o helmets
and drive through a stadium
they escape and in daytime get to a base with many humans
the guy who saved him is a biker with science knowledge
the plague caused the cloaks to go metal and may humans in here have it but not as bad
hston checks on a black guy with it
the biker sez his droog turned and he wasted him
he sez hes immune as he vaccine himself
they can make a serum outta his blood
they go to his lab and he reavals he caught a cloak and experimented on him but it didn't work
I like how heston is a 50s guy and thes 70s tude guys are different than him
heston tries to cure the black guy
he has a drink with the black wo man and she tells her backstory
they are about to b0ne but the power goes out
heston didn't refuel the generator
the albino black cloak gets in and has a firearm
but the generator comes on as does da light
heston comes in and wastes the black albino cloak
then they make out and b0ne
heston; its been a long time, I'm not sure I remember how this goes
the next day the black guy  doing well and stopped enwhitening
they get some stuff and hston gets get to drain some blood
they give blood to the black guy and plan to use him to make more antibodies and spread the cure when hes heald
the black guy goes on healing
they wind up making more serum
as heston gives blood the blac guy asks if the serum would help the cloaks
he sez he cant give more blood for now and after the black guy puts on weight he can be used for serum
hston don't wanna give the cloaks serum so the black guy sez waste em
the black guy tells were they are and heton don't wanna
heston tells the base people he cured the black guy
then returned and found he left a note dat sez; ima find out who'z right; u or me?
the black guy goes to the cloaks base
they catch him
he tells em heston found the cure
\they say the black guy was ruined
as the black wo man comes back from shopping she seez the cloaks
she removes her head thing and she looks like em
heston comes In to their base armed
he finds the black guy dead
heston drives away in a power car and busts cr-p
he crashes and comes out packin heat
they thro sticks at him
he shreds em with gunfire
burns em 2
he gets home and finds the black wo ma an albino
the cloaks are in there
they catch him and bust his cr-p
its like how liberals feel its ok to do anything to anyone they disagree with
heston breaks out and takes a hostage
he gets his gun and takes his woman
the head cloak appears to her and she goes to him
he shanks Charlton with a spear
she sez hes evil and shes part of the fam
the next day the other humans arrive
hston is wounded and he gives the humans his serum and the humans take the black wo ma in the truck
is little girl takes hestons hat and they drive off
oh and heston bites it In a semi cross stance
the end
that was cool
I like f'd up 70s films
like embryo
for the omega man 2 i'd like for the black wo man t have bee cured by being pregnant with hestons baby who was clean and his dna healed his mom from inside. also the cloks have mutated further into insectoid creatures and by the time hestons kid with the black wo man(who has inherited all hestons traits and looks like a young ben hur) is a teen, the cloaks are bug people with flight and launchable stingers and have becme giant flying centipedes. he goes around busting them and using his super abilities gained from being a child of an infected an hestons cured lneage and fights a city full of these bug people. also its a 16 bit game on sega genesis and snes and Atari jaguar

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