Monday, January 2, 2017

Svengali Review

note; I spell like a talk... like a p-mp!
this is my review on Svengali (1930s ver)
I only heard the name on Seinfeld and my texas friend telling me about svenghoulie
it starz john Barrymore
wit marian marsh and Donald crisp
it starts in some europian town
aw gross
theyre French!1
so they must be the bad guuys
john Barrymore (jb)is Svengali, a guy who looks like a mental patient and is a music guy
I think hes Austrian
and hes teaching her piano
wtf hes speaking italiano
he plays and she sings
she pretty much s-cked at it
Svengali has hair kinda like mine
except with a long pointy beard
after she sings he tells her its enough
she left her husband but took no cash from him
she se he bit her wrist and kicked her
i'd like to hear his side
who bites a wrist?
she probably p-ssed him off
she wants to be with Svengali but he don't consent
she burned her bridges and has no where to go
shes gonna have to become a strpper or h00ker
he looks at her funny and she freaks out and books it
man the French are weird
i'm glad I'm Slovenian
we're the good eurpoeans
we aint cannibals
I heard the UNCUT grimms stories
later a guy tells Svengali she was found I the river
so she killed herself cuz he looked at her cockeyed?
dat don't add up
maybe he b0ned her in the real version
so Svengali an his homie go to some place
they walk through a weird caligari like empty place
they go to a hairy guy taking a bath
this is how p0rn0es start
they take cigars and play piano
1 hairy guy tells the other to hide his purse b4 the music melts his scotch heart
he plays brit music
the hairy guys are brits and Svengali sez they bathe every AM
they grab him and do stuff to him offscreen
I assume they're b0ning
turns out they bathed him
they took his clothes and put him in da bath
that's f'd up
maybe they DID b0ne him
Svengali takes one of the hairy guy's sunday suites
and they swipe some cash from him
now they can pay the rent
the milkman sez milk below but its really a blonde model who smokes
she offers to show her figure to him
this is how p0rn0es start
the homie (named gecko (I assume its his street name like t bird or funboy in the crow))sez  the hairy guys are coming with a mob
Svengali hears this guy singing well
he leaves, meets the mob, and leaves
the purse was hidden in the pants of the Svengali was wearing
the singer meets the model and they explain who Svengali is
they meat the harry brits
she shows off her bare foot
isn't it a pretty foot she sez?
foot fetsh!!
she leaves for another job and the singer is gay for her
the brits say she had a foot like an angel
later the model and singer are in love
Svengali comes in
he sees the model feeding the singer
food fetish!
he wants to marry her and bring her to England
but Svengali watches
he tells her good things about England
Svengali comes in and tells her cr-ppy things of it
she tells Svengali she has headaches and he cures em with hypnotism
is he Rasputin??
holy F!
his eyes went blank!
is he a daemon?!
that's f'd up
he mindwipes her to only like him
didn't this happen in sailor moon?
he puts her to sleep and has her open her mouth
this is really how p0rn0es start!!
but he looks in her throat
the brits and singer come in and shes hypnotized
he brings her outta it and her headaches gone
maybe shes an esper and its her brain transforming into its full form?
Svengali sez her headache is in him
is this the green mile?
the brits tell her not to let him mindwipe her again
he can make people do
ANY thing!!
later Svengali goes blank eyed and we get s cool zoom out of the window of his room like in the crow
it travels across this town and into the models room
ahhh f!
it keeps showing his demon face!
he controls her like in Dracula and she walks around
she comes to his place and talks monotone
this is how p0rn0es start
she sez she got a headache And went to him to fix it
this is like in king of the hill where dales wife sees that guy about her headaches
but really hes b0ning her
he feels her skin ad takes off her coat
we get a cool effect where the light goes away from his face except his eyes
she resists and books it
later she is modeling (I think nude) in front of a buncha european guys
this is how p0rn0es start
or end
the singer is surpirzed
remember wen prince willaims female husband was photographed putting on a bikini and everyone saw a nipple?
the brits went nuts over dat
so what?
\its not like her t-ts are big
shes not even famous on her own power
just leaching off her mom in law who got iced by her grandma in law
also Williams alleged brother was photographed nude with women
or as its called in Germany; daytime commercials
Svengali tries to turn her against the singer
later the singer and brits get a letter from her saying she aint good enuff 4 him
and shes leaving town
also they find her clothes by the river and assume he suicided
in paris or bruxiles or w/e Svengali has a new singer act
oh its paris
they call his act; madame Svengali
3 men wanna meet her and he sez no
but a gift from the czar changes his tune
the czar?
what year is this?
i'd say 1800s maybe
Svengali conducts the show and has this chick sing
the brits(including singer as hes a brit) are in the audience and cant make out her face
her hair is different and I think so is her make up
she sings like snow white in the 30s animated one
after da show thre brits see her leave with Svengali and she doesn't respond to their words
also svengeli has pain
barf it out like the black guy in the green mile
the model comes out and recognizes em but her mind rewipes and she returns to Svengali
they leave in a carriage
later she wakes up and talks with Svengali about love
they talk about her not being able to do something cuz of the singer
I think she cant b0ne Svengali cuz of him
Svengali talx about going to England to be high rank
but she don't wat dat
so he eye mind wipes her
she almost b0nes him but he rejects it
he knows its not her but his will saying it
the chick cancelled her rome and Italy shows
later theres a show and Svengali isn't ready
he sez he cant perform
I think
I was watching a vid on capitalism being good
later its said he and da chick are gonna perform in a sphinx club
but somethings wrong with Svengali
at a bar Svengali tells the singer after tonight hes done
Svengali mindwipes her to think se only cares for him
wtf, didn't he want her own love and not just a puppet?
this contradicts itself
maybe the him saying he didn't want a puppet was censorship to avoid them b0ning
she sings and Svengali and her collapse
he prays for him having a woman and they both bite it
her last word; Svengali
the end
wtf happened?
did they for a psychic link? are the dead?
they might've just blacked out
what an inconclusive ending
although I did kinda like it
good effects and creepy cr-p
john Barrymore was good in here
is this based on a true story?
irregardless, put it on da history channel
for Svengali 2 i'd like for him and the girl to be in comas and when they move the bodies out of the place in a fire, they touch and the bodies fuse into a hermaphrodite. it regains consciousness and its revealed Svengali planned this th
whole time as he sensed her psychic powers and by linking with her and going to h-ll together and returning they became one and now he has ultimate power. he then goes on a campaign and tries to take over Europe to become the new kaizer. the singer brit still loves the chick he fused with and calls out to her with some gay carebears/sailor moon lovey dovey thing and she breaks out of the hermaphrodite and they team up their love powers and have an epic battle of love and esp.

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