Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Enter The Dragon Review

note; I shouldn't HAVE to spell right! YOU should adapt!!
enter the dragon
this is my review on enter the dragon
years ago on a beyblade site(NFD BEYBLADE); faizan (a neighbor) joined to p-ss people off
he chose the name; anus91!
and his introduction topic was enter the anus
what a butt hole
this film stars bruce lee and is from da 70z
it starts at a temple and guy in speedos kung fu fight
one is bruce lee
he creams the other guy
I bet I could beat him
in yugioh anyway
afterward he chats with his sensei
sensei sez hes got spiritual and asks him some zen cr-p
basically; its all instinct
sensei sez the enemy uses illusions and u gotta break the illusion to beat him
sounds like alf of the hourglass from last battle/hokuto no ken
sensei sez 1 shaolin monk uses his learnings for his own gain
hes named han like the freddy mercury guy in hokuto no ken 2
so sensei sends him to wack him for being different
he then has tea with some brits
they want him to enter a kung fu tournament held by han
BL then has some teen kick him
then he mocks his kick
he does again
he mocks agan
he does it again and when BL asks ho it felt e hits the teen for thinking
he smacks him a few more times for doing it wrong
what a d-ck
then we get da opening credits
yang sze is in this
he as the bad guy in blood sport
the brits show a film of the ex monk (han)and his bodyguard
han lives on a private island and every 3 years he has a tourney
hes accused of stealing hot chix and getting em hooked on drugs
then selling em
BL asks why not use guns?
the brit sez owning a gun is a SRS OFFENCE
how un-American
2 months ago they sent a chick to the island
but lost track of her
on the way there BL recalls his sensei telling him about how years ago hans homies came by the village
BL';s sister and a guy fought em
the guy slashed the bodyguards face
she bat up some guys
but they fought back
after a chase/fight shes trapped in a place and commits seppuku
I think I would take a while for her to bite it from a stab wound
they could've b0ned her as she bled out
also the bodyguard looks bada55 with dat scar
scars r cool
BL talks to a grave saying hes doing something the grave owner disagrees with
back in the present he arrives
we see a guy named roper play golf for 1000$ a hole
but he hits it in the woods
then some goons come out he owes money and the are here to collect or bust his a55
isn't there some OTHER way he could pay em?
he beats em up and returns to the golf game
he goes to the tourney as he has under 64$ in a bank
turns out it was a flashback
this black guy has a flashback about learning kung fu in a black dojo
as he heads out the cops come after him
they try to arrest him but he beats em up
the scene looks like they were gonna b0ne him
roper and black guy talk and know eachother
they recognize a new Zealander
the black guy recognizes ghettoes in the background
I liked in sonic 3 the background of the carnival night zone
the night sky and lights in the distance were so amazing
in one part some guys on a boa watch a cockfight between praying mantis's
roper and BL bet and bl wins
1 guy is in a lifeboat on a rope and is shook around to partly sink it
as they approach the island the see a chick and yang sze(bolo yeung)
they lust after 1 of em
da chick brings em to their rooms and sez at 8 is a banquet
In the place is a lotta people and some sumo fight
1 chick wears a silver dress like a semi futuristic thing like in austin powers
roper sez he wants to win bac the cash BL won from him
then the han comes in and gives a speech
why are there no chicks in the tournament?
maybe in the sequel we'd get some
chun li 1st appeared in street fighter 2
mai Shiranui 1stappeared in fatal fury 2
although Sonja was in mortal kombat 01
later everyones in their rooms and the black guy is offered chix 2 b0ne
his name is Williams
Williams and roper are double dragon characters
William b0nes most of em
the chick offers bl some chix to b0me
he asks for one from b4
the chick then visits roper and offers him chix 2 b0ne
is this a p0rn0?
maybe they are collecting their j-zz in women to breed super kung fu warriors
the Asian chick bl wanted talks to him about people disappearing and shes the agent sent by the brits
the next day everyone gathers fr a "morning ritual"(sounds 18+)
bl doesn't wear the required uniform
is ust guys training in kung fu
han sits in his sang tsung golden throne and has the tournament begin
willaims wins
roper bets on fights
hes got a gambling addiction
he ha Williams bet on him and in the fight he gets his a55 kicked
but comes from behind and busts the opponents a55
just like in dat genesis game
what was it?
street smart?
I saw a review on it by retrosnow
u can bet on or against urself and throw the match for more cash
at night roper has a chick walk on his back barefoot
that's some fetish
then they b0ne
Williams goes outside after b0ning a few chicks but they say its against the rules
bl goes out dressed in black like a ninja
not Naruto
a real ninja
like ryu hayabusa
he sneaks around a room as a guard does rounds
he sneaks outside and beats a guy up
imagine if this was a p0rn0 and he had to b0ne em to stop em from outing him
that's f'd
he sneaks in a place and beats up more guys
the next day han is p-ssed people went out after dark
he blames his guards and has em fight bolo yeung
hes big and buff and has b00bs
he busts through em like broly
its like shiva in streets of rage 2
he breaks 1 guys bones and he bites it
imagine if he b0ned em dead
Williams sez bolo's work is sloppy
the bl has to fight the bodyguard with da sar
wait, howd the sensei know what happened to the sister?
he wasn't there
there were no witnesses
bl beats on the scar man
he goes berserk but bl breaks his parts with a kick and continues beating him
scar guy busts s wine bottle and comes at bl but is countered
then bl jumps up and splatters scar guy's head open with a stomp
how queer
I dreamed about crushing peoples heads a day ago
the chick they lusted after has Williams go to hans study
he tells roper hes gonna be back
will be bite it?
place bets now!
he chats with han and has style and charisma
han sez he attacked hans guards but Williams sez it aint him
Williams sez he wants to leave and fights hans guards
han fights Williams and han has a super hand
Williams gets his a55 kicked
its lke when rei fought raoh in hokuto no ken
han beats dead wlliams with his metal hand
han then chats with roper and shows his his collection of ancient cr-p
what is this? citizen kane?
also his hand bones are in a glass case
han wants roper to try a guillotine
so he puts his cat on it
and roper pulls it out
han pulls the chain and the guillotine descends to an underground area
roper lusts after the chicks there but han sez they r his daughters
they r also his elite guard
han sez he invests in corruption
I think they are cooking drugs
in cages are drunks he caught
han shows roper Williams busted corpse hanging from chains
he drops it into a pool of sharks or w/e
han offers roper to join him
he doesn't consent
no wat
he does
at night bl sneaks out again
bl got wiliams killed
some hero
on a night mission he finds a poison snake and catches it in a bag
then sneaks into the underground
a women sealed in  glass case begs him for help but he leaves her
some hero
the a dr gets her and maybe b0nes her
bl puts the snake I the com room and the workers flee
bl goes in, ignoring the snake and (wait he kills it) and does something
he leaves and beats up guards
like in dbz or wwf he takes off his shirt and wails on people
ooh, he crushed in one guys skull with a stomp
ust cuz that guy is working for a COMPANY HE DNT LIKE DONT MEAN HE'S EVIL
caps lock
the drunks in the cage grab a guy who gets too close and waste him
bl gets nunchaku
he wails on people and gets caught in a room when the doors seal
han sez he wants bl to join him for his epic skill
the brit gets word from bl's sent message
da next day roper has to fight bl
he doesnt consent
so roper fights bolo yeung
bolo puts him in a hold but roper bits his way out
the chick the brits sent frees the drunks
roper busts bolo
han send more guys to fight bl and roper but they get owned
the drunks come out and its a huge melee
han swaps his hand for a claw and fights bl
he gets his claw caught in something and it comes off
he retreats to get another hand and bl follows
he puts on a blade hand and bl wants to kil him for offending his fam/temple
so what if he uses what he learned for his own stuff?
isn't it his choice?
if I learn how to cook and use it to cook something else, does the cook house hunt me down?
that logic is when Edison tried to prevent d w Griffith from making his own movies
i'm American and believe in freedom
by shaolin logic; treasure is a bad company
treasure started when konami employees were sick of konami being oppressive and broke away to form their own company
they used what they learned from working at konami to make games THEY wanted
and their games kicked A55
alien soldier, gunstar heroes, dynamite headdy, mcdonalds treasureland adventure
imagine if konami sent an assassin to waste em for making games with skills they got from konami?
same thing
they fight and he gets his a55 kicked
he goes to a mirror hall and can fight bl by hiding among reflections
clever girl
this is just like a video game btw
btw good camera work
u never see the camera in the mirrors
unlike a flock of seagulls I ran video
han gets some slashes on bl but bl cunters
why not just shank him?
bl remembers the "destroy the illusion" speech from b4 and smashes mirrors
he kicks han into a spear on a wall and he bites it
outside the drunks and roper have won
this is like in hokuto no ken 2 how hyo and black yasha fought kaioh's elite guard
then the brits come in to take credit after all the hard work is done
the end
this was a well made film with good action
also countless video games knocked it off
I liked it but I felt han was being persecuted by ruthless copyright commies
yeah he did some bad
but the reason for the shaolin to go after him was petty
for enter the dragon 2 i'd like for bruce lee to have found the story of his sister biting it was fake and it was his sensei who iced her after he tried to b0ne her. also han's daughters return for revenge for their dad getting wacked by bruce lee cuz of the shaolins. they launch an attack on the temple and bruce lee lets em take it as he's turned hi back on em. the daughters beat the monks and remove their arms/legs and force feed em to them and keep them alive to be constantly b0ned by pigs. bruce lee finds out what happened and is so conflicted he almost eats his gun, but is stopped by the brits who want him to wipe out hans daughters as the brits don't like em. bruce lee goes to England and unleashes all is ki and disintegrates a large area, along with the brits who sent him, along with himself

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