Wednesday, November 8, 2017

127 Hours Review

note I usually type with 1 hand
127 hours
this is my review on 127 houres
its got james franco who played james deamn and tommy wiseau
this guy gets ready to go on an adventure
he gets a call saying to call his mom
but lets the machine get it
he then goes out to the wastelands on Friday night in april 2003
on Saturday he drives out on a bike across this mad max/fist of the north star area
he wants to beat a record for this canyon thing
as he drives he hits a bump and falls off his bike
then drives his bike more
he climbs this big rock and notices chicks
so he goes after em wearing a bandanna and shades
they say theyre lost and he helps em
he takes em to a place to have some fun
but instead of b0ning he brings em to a gap in the rocks to crawl through
1 girl hopes the rocks they crawl through don't move
j f sez things are always moving
then he jumps down the gap and lands in well lit water
one chick drops down and nearly nails him
then the other goes in
they somehow get back up and keep jumping in
later they leave and j f sez how the canyon is named after butch cassidys cook
and they caught wild stallions by chasing em into a canyon
the chix invite him to a party or w/e by a huge inflatable Scooby doo
what do you call Scooby doo in the oven?
Korean food!!
he goes off and in a crevasse
he grabs a rock but it falls and he gets stuck in the crevasse with the rock crushing his arm
shouldn't that hurt like h-ll?
he seems pretty calm about it
so he tries to get his hand out from it
but he cant lift the rock
he should've charged his Ki
he drinks some water but saves most of it
so he sets his watch to count how long its gonna be I think
then calls for help
but the camera shows theres no one around with a zoom
btw 127 hours is (24 48 72 96 120) like 5 days
e gets out his gear and has a multi tool with a knife
he tries cutting rock with a dinky knife
but eventually drops it
and even his foot cant reach
why not come down and get it?
oh yeah, arm caught
so he uses a wire bendy thing on his toe to pick it up
that's pretty cool
ninja skill
although he probably took like 4 hours of trying
not like hes got anything better to do
after cutting the knife goes dull
sailor Uranus; my blade lost its edge
sailor Neptune; maybe its you who has?
sailor Uranus; you'll find that out later... tonight!!
sailor moon sailor stars 2nd final ep with em
later its sunday at midknight
he has a phantasy about standing on a big a55 rock
then he throws a rope thing a buncha times until it hooks something
if he had batmans grappling thing he could shoot it up and pull the rock off
later he sees some dust fall from above and calls for help
its probably bigfoot
at daylight the sun somes out and he soaks his foot in it
foot fetish
he has viet nam flashbacks to his childhood and a guy carrying his sleeping kid self outta the car
then they watch da sunrise
howd he remember what he slept through?
at da 24 hours mark sine he fell he records a message to tell whoever finds his cam to tell his rents what happened to him
also his hand died from no circulation
he sees sand fall from above and calls help but its no one again
imagine if it was some mad max bikers and they b0ned him
he watches the tape of his freaking out asking for help
nothing better on tv
he fears he is going mad
we get a montage of him gearing up
he eats a mexico food and thinks of scooby doo
then hears the Scooby doo theme and fantasizes of being at the party
he pulls out a contact lens and remembers putting it in as his mom called and he let the machine get it
then relives his encounter with brion and how he didn't tell brion where he was going
I synchro summon brionac the ice barrier dragon, in attack mode!
then on Monday he has a montage of trying a pulley system to pull da rock off
all to the song lovely day
I always thought he said; boogie man
he remembers he left a Gatorade in the car
he then p-ssed on the wall
that's good p-ss u just wasted
he then tells the camera why the pulley didn't work and how to make it work with different cr-p
he reveals he hasn't dumped in a while
also a raven is flying about him every day
he thinks the rock is on his hand so chipping away at da rock makes it crush his dead hand more
he makes a tourniquet on his arm and tries cutting it off
then the cheep Chinese made cr-p he bought f'd out on him
he has a swiss army knife but don't know where it am
then has a flashback to his childhood recording his sister play piano
then another flashback to wen he was in a snow thing with a car full of homies in undies
I too go out in little clothes in the snow
he also recalls being with his blonde kiwi gf
hes not a virgin?!
well, that's the end of him!
right after this the sky starts raining and the water floods the canyon
its noahs flood gx!
he goes under water and moves the rock and gets out
we never see his arm
its like in the john huston movie about the bible how we never see Adam's thing
good camera work
he runs to his gf's place and theres no sound from his mouth
he closes the door on him
turns out its a fantasy of his as hes going nuts
the next day he has a back and forth with him self as a talk show host and a guest and a caller
and he realizes that as it takes da cops 24 hours to do a missing persones report, it wont be til Wednesday til they start looking
and that's IF brion calls it in if hes not at work
and he never told anyone where he was going
looks like he's f'd
he gives a lovey message to his fam saying he wish he returned his moms calls
he drinks the last of his water and theres a shot of inside the bottle of his tongue reaching around
he starts going nuts and shanks himself in da dead arm
he hit bone
after a lick of blood its Wednesday and he whizzes in a bottle and drinks it
I'd wait for it to cool off
later he watches video of the chicks in the underground water
the chicks sed a message while he wasn't looking where they said his music choice s-cked
he then j-rks off to the video
hope he don't eat his j-zz
he probably does though
he carves a message on the wall with a metal knife
but starts hearing things
his head light gores out so he uses his cam
he sees Scooby doo but its not in the photo
is it a vampire Scooby doo?
he has a flashback of his gf dumping him at a baseball game
after a montage of him going mental he talks to the camera about thinking of his gf
also he drinks more p-ss
he sees his friends gathering with him like in a Yugioh episode
he sez sorry to his sister about him not gonna be at her wedding
he talks about how the rock was waiting for him since it was made
and he's been heading towards it his whole life
then some horses run over him above the canyon
btw his name in here is aron Ralston
like Jobyna Ralston from wings( 1927 )
later its daytime and he sees his kid self and memories he had
he then snaps his arm
he could've broke it with a good punch
he breaks the remaining boke in the arm and starts cutting
good f--k this is horrible
and they drag it out
he puts back on the tourniquet and uses pliers to remove it
he cuts the nerve and its awful
was this based on a true story?
I hope not!
man this is f--ked!
f this movie!
its worse than in berserk where guts chopped off his own arm with a broken sword!!
i'd rather watch a dog b0ning a quadruple amputee!(like in violence jack)
i'm probably gonna have nightmares from this
and I often dream of slicing through people and crushing their heads under my feet
he ties off his stump and takes a photo of the rock with his cam
then goes back through the crevasse
so he goes out and finds some water
he rigs a pulley and repels down on one arm
the water looks like sh-t but he guzzles it and splashes in it
he leaves his bag and goes off with a thing bottle of water
wait... howd he cut everything but the nerve?!
it was like the nerve was the last thing
he walks a while and finds some people walking
he tells em hes been trapped for 5 days and cut off his arm
they give him water and he chugs it
later a chopper comes down and medics get him
then we cut to him swimming with a stump
it looks real
later he got married and had a kid
and went on adventures in the wild
we see the real people who lived it on a couch
the end
that was good
it f'd me up with that scene but jimmy was well in here
not much happens but it doesn't drag
I liked it
for 127 hours 2 I want him to be up in the north and a tribe of mammoth riding sasquatch attack. he fights em off with his metal hand like in evil dead and escapes after killing one. then he has to get back to his base b4 the reinforcements arrive and warm the others of the impending attack. also its a 16 bit platformer like cliff hanger on gb but for snes and sega genesis and gba. Also his metal hand has several tools built into it to get past stuff and access other areas.

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