Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs Review

note; I spell non canaidian. no extra U's

snow white and the seven dwarfs

this is my review on snow white and the seven dwarfs (1937 ver)

its based on the brothers grimm who usually had cannibalism and serial killers in their stories

after some credits to nice music a book opens and tells us the background like in silent films

snoe white was a kind princess but her evil queen stepmom was a b--ch to her

also her mom has a black magic mirror

yes animaniacs did a parody of this

so the queen keeps needing the mirror whos the hottest chick I the kingdom

but the mirror sez snow white is the hottest

queen dresses her in rags and makes her clean

like a slave!!

the queen is shocked that her b--chyness isn't the most wonderful chick in the kingdom

whuda thunk?!

snow white sings of finding a nice bf

also then a prince comes by

snow white reminds me of my gf

she's got dark hair and milky white skin

but my gf has longer hair and big eyes

kinda like mrs Addams from the Addams family

the prince starts singing to her and she runs but returns

the the evil possibly brittish queen gets p-ssed at this

man this is good animation

and its fullscreen

no black bars

queen has a huntsman sent to take her out and wack her

hey its just like with daiana in England

also the queen wants huntsman to chop her up and bring back her heart in a box

wtf that's sick

kids movie my a55

what next? make the prince the human centipede?!

wheres the king anyway?!

I think queen had him wacked

so huntsman is gonna waste her but cant do it

he outs the queen and sez to run away and never return

just like the lion king

she runs to the woods and all these creepy cr-p happens

the plants are grabbing her

is this la blue girl?!

son of a b--ch this place is haunted!

she freaks out and collapses after all this freeky cr-p

btw we're 10 mins in and all this crazy cr-p happened

great animation too

back in the 30s they knew how to make it good

the 90s had good shows like ducktales and gargoyles

what would walt this of the cr-p they got on the Disney channel now?

so then the sun comes out and all the creepy eyes in darkness turn out to be cute woodland critters who comfort her

I guess they senses her positive Ki

she instantly recovers fro her horror and sings

I just noticed snow whites hair looks like a 20s chick

this light song is like a g rated betty boop cartoon

so snow white needs a place to sleep as she don't wanna do it on the ground like campers

and the animals lead her to a house

wow water reflection distorted mirror image on the ground

how'd they do dat?

btw snow white is in high heels

and all those malcontents said the chick in Jurassic world running in heels was unrealistic

snow white goes in and everythings small

she thinks its for kids

but its a bit dusty and cobwebby and messy

leave the webs alone

those spiders live there

so she decides to clean up

when my mom cleans my cr-ppy area, she always moves things and I never know where she put em

it may look disorganized, but I know where everything is

also the animals help her clean

is this really happening?

or is it in her mind?

if it is happening I think the animals are magic

maybe yokai

lol a spider scared off a rodent for ruining his web

if it were a bigger spider like in brazil it would eat that rodent

why is it always cutesy animals helping her?

why not centipedes and spiders and dragon flies and worms?

y'know, the useful ones

birds are only good as food

squirrels and rabbits eat crops

deer are good to eat

as are their fusion with sasquatch; the moose

meanwhile, a family of midgets dig for jewels in a mine and sing

I notice these jewels are already cut and polished in the earth

then they go home singing

good use of light and shadow

and good angles

at home snow white goes upstairs and finds their beds

she sleeps across 3 beds like in the simpsons how homer parked across 3 handicapped spots

at night the animals hear the midgets coming and cheese it

when they get home they see the lights are on and the chimney is smoking

so they assume its a ghost, goblin, dragon or daemon

does that mean they have those things in this era and place?

is this the lord of the rings?

they look around and notice its clean

they think the stew cooking(made of one of the animals who cleaned?) is witches brew

also sneezy has a hurricane blast sneeze

so they tie up his nose

wont his head asplode then?

theres 7 midgets

like the 7 deadly sins, 7 dragon balls and 7 chaos emeralds

after a fake scare they think dopey is the monster and beat him with clubs

but he's ok

they think snow white is a monster and try to ice her but stop when they see her

why is everyone trying to wack snow white?!

they think shes cute and grumpy is against her

she wakes up and is surprised theyre midgets

she knows which dwarf is which based on their outward personality

what is this?! full metal alchemist?!

they are named after their trait like the seven deadly sins??

she reveals the queen wants her iced and the dwarfs know the queen is evil (like the one in England)

she gets to stay to cook and clean for em

like a slave!!

she wants em to wash b4 dinner

they say they did but when she chex their hands theyre covered in filth

snow white is disturbed they have a fine layer of fdust on their palms and makes em wash

snow white has kind of a girly voice

she seems like a bimbo

I mean it in a good way

as in cute and cheerful and nice and fun

they wash in a funny way

later the queen talks to her black magic mirror and it reveals the heart in the box was from a pig

so evil queen goes to her lab and uses her spellbook to find how to disguise herself

she uses Halloween cr-p to turn herself into a nasty old hag

now she's the modern queen of England instead of the 30s one

man she really deforms

why'd she use magic to turn her clothes black?

just change ur outfit!

this is like cutey honey but on drugs

the good guys then sing and dance 30s style

dopey and sneezy do the "2 midgets in a coat" thing to dance equally with snow white

sneezy sneezes in the coat and it inflates and rockets dopey out the top

i'm not sure he had that much air in him

maybe he has a pocket dimension inside him that blasts air from an elemental plane

then snow white tells a love story about meeting her prince in high pitched song

then its bedtime and snow white gets their bedroom and they sleep in the lower level

b4 bed she prays and asks for grumpy to like her

what a nice girl

they wouldn't have that in modern Disney

one dwarf uses dopey's a55 as a pillow

so the evil queen makes a poison apple that turns a green apple black, then red

race tf sequence

but only loves true kiss can revive the eater of the apple

as the evil hag leaves she kicks some bones of her victim imprisoned in her cage

that's f'd up

probably disagreed with the monarchy and was executed by starvation

maybe its the king who she had imprisoned for defying her

just like in england

so the midgets leave for work and tell snow white to beware of strangers

so I just noticed I think dopey may be mentally disabled

nowadays they'd make it super pc or dark and malcontent

secretly grumpy warms up to snow white

why is she called snow white?

cuz shes pale?

is that her street name like tin tin or t bird or funboy in the crow?>

or wolverine, gambit and cyclops in x men?

so snow white if making a pie for grumpy and the hag comes by

hag sez men prefer apple pie and offers her the one red apple in a basket of green apples

the birds attack the hag but snow white saves her

she fakes being unwell and snow brings her inside

the animals rush to get the midgets

huh, this is a lot like birth of a nation how lilian gish was in danger and the heroes of the film rush to save her

and it keeps cutting between the two

so hag sez the apple is a magic wishing apple that biting it will make ur dreams come true

grumpy leads the charge to save snow

snow white wishes to lives happy with her bf and bites it

then she bites it off screen

then its raining like in 20 000 leagues under the sea with the squid fight and the animals and midgets chase down the queen

she gets stuck at the top of the hill and tries to crush em with a rock

but lightening hits the rocks under her, and she falls and the rock goes after her

um, lightening doesn't destroy wet rock

it conducts over the water

whatever, shes in h-ll now

they couldn't have the midgets beating her dead

so the midgets are bummed snow white bit it

esp grumpy

aww a sad moment

then we get text saying they couldn't bury her

so they made a glass and gold coffin to keep her in

then the prince from b4 comes by and sings of love

what is this? sailor moon?

he smooches her body and she revives

she kisses the dwarfs heads bye and goes off with the prince to be a good queen

the end

that was grand

classic, beautiful and clean

nowadays they'd add a lotta pop culture refs and modern cr-p to appeal to the kids

but this was timeless and perfect for telling the classic story

I've seen this as a kid but now I can appreciate it

most grand

for snow white and the seven dwarves 2 I want there to be an 8th dwarf who returns and finds they knew snow white. he's disgruntled they didn't summon him while he was out whaling in the ocean and goes to see snow white. but the evil queen has revved herself by possessing the vultures that went after her when the rock fell on her and returns to the castle to get revenge. she uses her black magic cr-p to return to human forme and powers up into a huge hulking abomination that attacks the castle. and the prince, snow white and the 8th dwarf team up and take her on. its also a 16 bit game on sega genesis, super Nintendo and game boy advance where you have missions to attack the giant areas of the monster queen to break her down one part at a time playing as the 8th dwarf, the prince or snow white and they each have their own abilities like snow white fighting by sending birds to attack, the prince has his sword, and the 8th drawf has a harpoon