Saturday, November 25, 2017

Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte Review

note; i'm not demented, my spelling is
hush... hush, sweet charlotte
this is my review on hush hush sweet charlotte
its directed by the guy who did whatever happened to baby jane and the dirty dozen
are those p0rn0es??
its got bette davis and Olivia de haviland
joan "crawl up my a55" Crawford didn't wanna do this
it was meant as a copy of baby jane to cash in on the popularity
like bubsy for sonic
so it starts with a confederate guy yelling at a guy he hates about how he wants to ice him
hes a big bada55 confederate guy and his plantation is rotting
but he tried to fight to keep it good
and his daughter is charlotte and the guy he hates wants her
he wanted to elope with charlotte
imma call her char as its easier to spell
also Gundam
oh and the hated guy is married and the wife told the confederate dad
so he was the bad guy
so dad tells him his plan for the party tonight
at da party he tells her something offscreen and shes busted up over it and sezz she could waste him
later a meat cleaver goes missing
then the hated guy gets his hand chopped off by it
then gets chopped up
we don't see who it is chopping him
later char comes out with blood on her dress
then its the distant future year of 1964
some candy a55 kids go to the home and joke about char
they have a caveman looking kid who wants to join their gang(da spiders) jack something char touched from her home
she can ice him and its legal as hes an intruder
btw this is widescreen
he wakes up char and runs out
the other kids book it too
then we get credits to a song like freddy Krueger
shes upset by those little c-cksuckers
hope she chops em up
later its daytime and a bulldozer starts bustin her place
so she gets her rifle and opens fire to scare him off
the head worker gets p-ssed at her but she sez if she wanted to ice him, she would've
he sez the state made the land for a bridge or something
typical big government, taking our rights
she don't consent and when he brings up getting away with murder, she dumps a stone thing by him
chars maid or w/e has her get dressed and makes breakfast
at the police thing a guy sez about how they didn't find the victims head and hand
its a brit reporter looking into the hated guys thing
then a guy comes in and sez how char is goin mental
at home sherrif comes in and char sez she knows him
sherrif sez she has 10 days left there
char sez her cousin Miriam is coming
he goes but maid sez Miriam aint commin
and shes chars only relative
this is seeming a lot like the secret of nimh
char talks to dr drew (not that dr drew) and he tries to get her to think no ones out to get her
then Miriam (olive de haviland) comes
dr drew sez char has enough cash to live anywhere well
she otta go to da 3rd world and civilize it
char and mir reunite and are happy
later they have dinner and dr drew keeps trying to make her think shes not being persecuted
Miriam sez char gotta leave
char goes on a tirade about how chars confederate dad helped Miriam as a kid
a Miriam was the one who outed char and hated guy to hated guys wife
also Miriam told the confederate dad about it
and char and the hated guy were b0ning!!
char gets emotional and leaves to dramatic tunes while calling for the hated guy
drew and Miriam say car is nuts but not enuff to be locked up
and drew sez she never accepted the hated guy bit it
also dr drew gives Miriam a gun
the real dr drew wouldn't do it
that's why this ones better
hes bada55
more than TV's dr drew anyway
after he leaves a dog barks and shadows move
who's dog is it?
later a door opens and Miriams dress is on a door and sliced
so the brit reporter and the sheriff look through past papers on the case
confederate dad used his connections to save his daughter
most good fathers would
also a yankee reporter is trying to sell more cr-p with the bridge story and playing it like a horror story
later miruim talks to the wife of the hated guy and wife don't like mirium
later char is goin mental over maid bringing in the cr-p mag with the image of the headless in handed bf from the mail
char reveals she thinks its the wife as shes been getting hate mail for years
and the 1st one was mailed from that town
and she saved em all for some reason
so wife talks to reporter and she gives him a note to open after she bites it
later Miriam wakes up and hears the song hush hush sweet charlotte
sounds like biz Markie
it was char doing it on da piano
when she wakes up at time she feels like her hated bf is still here
maybe its his lingering Ki?
then the door opens and theres a cleaver and a hand on da floor
char freaks out and runs upstairs
but its not there when mir turns on da lights
and the dog is barking
someone hammer dat dog!
don't waste a bullet
use a hammer!!
later when char checks it out these an axe hole in da floor
a few big black chicks working for her say she acts crazy but isn't really
later char puts flowers by a grave and brit reporter confronts her
don't trust him! he's brttish!
he sez they met b4 in England
he tells her what she wore then
but what if she didn't recall?
or misremembered?
he read everything aboot her and is interested in her
she sez she don't know of shes nuts or not
nuts or not?
sounds like a gameshow
she snaps and takes back a music box from a black woman and goes b--chy for a bit
the music box is what the caveman boy tries to steal b4
and it plays the song hush hush sweet charlotte
later its a thunderstorm
man we're 45 mins in
didn't feel like it
75 mins in
it started at 5 45
in the storm light and with the wind, char goes around her home all spacy
mirium comes down, closes the door letting da wind in and finds char with broken mirrors and an arm cut
she sez it was her confederate dad
later miruim and dr drew are having char taken away to rest elsewhere
maid sez if char goes with mir, she wont be seen again
like with marilin Monroe after the kenadies
and that mir is jealous of maid cuz char liked maid better
and mir wants maid gone saying shes not needed
this is like in the bad seed how that guy knew the kid was da killer
dr drew helps get maid out
Miriam sez maid is jealous of those close to char
maid goes to brit and tells him
at night char talks to a painting of confederate dad saying he iced the hated guy
she opens da front door and a yankee reporter snaps pix and runs
then Miriam comes in, drops a fake head and char faints
its revealed Miriam and dr drew were working to commit her and get her estate
this is like that joan Crawford movie where she chopped off that guys Gulliver and her daughter tried to drive her nuts
maid sneaks back and finds char drugged
she tries to get char out but hears a noise and puts everything back and hides
also she took the drugs
Miriam comes in and notices the drugs are gone and goes out
maid gets char dressed but mir returns
maid reveals she knows of da drug and is gonna out her
u revealed ur hand!
then Miriam busts her with a chair and she goes down da stairs
I think she bit it
later dr drew is there saying char deluded herself into thinking confederate dad iced the hated guy
and cuz of dat she never spent her inheritance
later the brit sees the coroner about maid biting it
they say she fell off a ladder
and dr drew brought her in
later dr drew sings hush hush sweet charlot and char wakes up and comes down
he leaves b4 she gets there
she play it a bit on piano but finds herself holdin a gun
she has a trippy experience of reliving the party night
then confederate dad comes in and hated guy leaves
then the room is empty
hated guy returns but then hes missing a hand and head
so se caps him
then the windows blow out
back in reality Miriam comes in and char capped dr drew
char stops her from calling da sherrif saying its an accident\
char sez to hide da body and to pay off mir for it
this is kinda like in gone with the wind how scarlet capped dat yankee and Melanie (Olivia de haviland) helped hide the body
then the brit returns and mir answers da door
brit mentions maid biting it and char overhears
after brit goes they drive a car with dr drews body in it
oh straight jacket was the joan Crawford movie it happened in
char don't wanna touch dr drews body but does it anyway
they dump him in da river
on the way back Miriam slaps char around and sez shes never gonna suffer for her again
mir takes the car and char cries inside
but then dr drew returns covered in mud
what is this? interview with the vampire?!
char freaks out
Miriam returns and dr drew is gone but theres a muddy footprint
later Miriam and dr drew share a drink
they casually bicker over who gets to be the alpha in the dark dealings and choose where to live
oh and she had the wife pay her for covering up the wife chopping up the hated guy
and Miriam let both wife and charlotte suffer for years
what a b--ch
and they used blanks in the gun char shot dr drew with
and theyre getting char committed tomorrow
and confederate dad and hated guy were b0ning a lot
so char crushes dr drew and Miriam with a stone flower pot
just like the start of the film
the gossips say char did it
but the hated guys wife just bit it
brit sez what if wife iced hated guy and was blackmailed?
and tells yankee char was innocent
but that its just a guess
so char leaves her music box behind and walks out of her confederate home free to enjoy her life
yankee gets her photo as does brit
brit gives char the wifes letter
she reads it silently and shows emotion
then drives off on a new adventure
and we hear hush hush sweet charlotte over credits
huh, George kennedy was in this
the end
that was good
I liked it
the ending of her being free moved my heart
its good suspence, good horror and good drama
its got a nostalgia feel to it
makes me think of my 90s home and how it was b4 it got upgraded
the original kitchen and bathroom tile
moves me heart it does
for hush... hush, sweet charlotte 2 I want her and the brit to have become celebs for funding innocence projects to help people wrongly convicted. but one guy is a director who is accused of using real corpses in his film. also actors had to eat the corpses and went mental afterward. the director sez he was told they were fake but the producer sez the director ordered it. turns out it was the producer who did it as he was obsessed with the movie and hated how the director was doing it as its based on his corpse eating fetish.

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