Thursday, February 27, 2020

Black Moon Review

Notee: I spelll Blicketee Black.
Black Moon
This is my review on black moon from 1934
it was made b4 the hayes code was in full effect so its more bada55 than later films
i never saw this but on youtube it was in my reccoomended things after watching the bat whispers so imma give it a shot
also its probably not related the the black moon clsan from sailor moon R
its directed by Roy William Neill who also did wall street (from 29) Thats my bboy (from 32) Gypsy (from 37), Frankensytein meets the Wolf Man, The Spider Womsan (from 44), and a buncha sherlock holmes films
it stars fay wray from king kong, the wedding march, doctor x, the most dangerous game and mystery of the wax museum, cora sue collins from quueen chrustina, Madame Sul-Te-Wan from Birth of a Nation, Kibng Kong, and mighty joe young,
So after a few logo's, including the NRA, and credits, which have effort put in em like a silent film of batman the animated series, it starts with a chick playing drums to a little girl
1 guy sez she was born on an island where she was the only white and plays native drums
a dr tells guy to let her work through it
guy goes to chat with chick and tels the kid to run along
chick is kids mom
so chick is gonna go to the island to get back to normal and kid wants to bring her dolls
oh guy is her dad
hcick meets a  guy from her past and they chat about the island as theres voodoo cr-p going on and the natives are ritual sacrificing things
chicks uncle dont want her returning and had saved her from being mind wiped from voodoo cr-p by being sent away
past guy was sent bby uncle to stop her and she don't care and is going anywway
imma call chick fay as she's played byb her
later fay goes to heer boss and sez shes quitting over boy issues
i think this is a flashback
i think its not fay but another girl imma call chcik
her bf wants to live in sin with her but she dont consent
after she leaves past guy goes to see boss but a black buy takes him out with a blow dart i think
later fay goes to the island and all the natives cellebrate her retyurning
her dauughter and chick coome with her and uncle isnt keen on the natives being soo into her
uncle is p-ssed she came as there's sacrifices on da full moon and da next 1 is in 3 weex
ew uncle speacks french
guess hes the bad guy
later a native talks with fay in soviet french and uncle kicks him out
she b--ches about native being a holy man or soemhting in his cult and uncle sez if he comes in again he'd get whipped
later a maid tells off a native for being with kid and cchick agrees to play with kid
oh the native gave the kid a knife to play with
and chick tells fay who dont think much of it and chick told fays husbando to come
then knife chick runs screaming and they fin a guy hanging from the ceiling
on da boat, husband coomes by with a georgia buy and they chat
so hsunband comes over and theres a locked gate keeping the natives out
its like los angelas or south africa
i just had anidea; reusing the title of this for a blaxploitation version of sailor moon
mina would probably be b0ned a lot
so the natives beat their drums and its a sign they are gonna ritual sacrifice something to their gods
uncle is woorruied about the 1000 natives around em and many are bandits from soviet haiti
a good rapid fire gun counld hold em off
they had gatling guns in the 30s right?
fay thinks they are safe and chcik comes in dying something awful happened
i think i saw this b4 on TCM but dont recall much
i think there was a cornfield scene witha  dead guy
they find a chick canlled anna (not anna ozuki from yugioh zexal) who was cooked in a lava pit
her feet and ashes are all thats left
oh  i think it was the chick who got mad at the native for giving kid a knife
so kid misses anna and the adults wont say she went to h e double england
husband is gonna leave with his fam and uncle sees a voodoo doll with nails in it
husnaband sees a ritual thing of eggs and aitems for the daemons the natives worship
husnabd chats with chick and shes still quitting when she gets back ( i guess husnabd is her boss) and the last boat there goes without em
later its night and fay is missing
uncle plays it cool and husband susppects things
uncle shows huansndd a secret room the natives dont know of and it leads to the tower
also he's armed and sez the natives tried to wipe em out 6x but his fam had been there for the last 200 years
btw nowadyas theyd make the whites the bad guys and the natives the opprewssed heroes who are justified iin killing people
later its 2 am and husband wakes up chick so she can go to bed in heer own room instead of kids bed
later fay returnd and sez she was walking but got lost for a few hours
husnand wants her to tell him why shes being like this and she sez she'd tok l8r and dont wanna talk about it
what is this? the room?!
so husband tries to send a message for a new boat but a native blows the equipment
oh and i think someoone else bit it
so the heroes gotta play it cool and hope help comes
use ur ki to send a message!
georiga guy sez the voodoo guys are gonna ice someone and the voodoo is active
at night they go through the swarm and see a voodoo ritual where fay is doing a dancce with them
in the real version thhey were b0ning
they the take georiigas girla to sacrifice but husband caps the ritual leader and runs
manwhiile in the safe zone, uncle looks for husband and chick hears a shot
husband returns and tells what happenes and uncle sez they arw safe now as the natives think their wicked gods are agnry cuz their ritual guy got iced
uncle tells husband dfays rents were iced by natives when she was 2 and he iced their dark priest which ended their uprisong attack
for years the natives feared him and he thought they were safe and let the natives spend time with heer but they took her to a  sacrigice and drank blood
he found out when she was 15 and sent her away and hoped it would free her from the voodoo spell
it seemed to work but now her voodoo ways are back
and uncle never told  husnabd cuz hes a p-tz
then fay retuends and thinks uncle iced the dark priest (shaft from castlevania?!)
fay sez bye to husnband and kisses his cheek and walks out to go to h-ll
but 1st puts powder in a drink and turns out the candle and runs as husband gets himself a glass of the poison
b4 he drinks it his kdi freaks out cuz its dark and he takes her to his room to sleep
he gives her the poison drink with the cocainum in it and she spazzes out
they put a caccine in her drink?
uncle tests the drink and sez its drugged with cr-p the narives use on people they sacrifice
he treats kid and sez the drink was meant for husband
then georgia guy coems by and sezz they iced his girl, the priest aint dead and theys a commin
they get iin and its a swarm
the sonic heroes escape to the tower room and pick off natives with j fk style shots
is this like birth of a nation where the heroes were stuck in a cabin?
oh and fay is wooring with the natives
the natives start a fire on the base and smoke is rising the tower
imagine if they used chronic on the fire and the drug fumes drove them insane and the ate each other
to save kid, uncle runs to lure the natives away and the heroes run soon after
so the naiteves catch the good guys offscreen and fay sez she's gonna keep kid here
also when uncle bites it she will own the island and shes gonna wack him
also she claims the natives were oppressed and this is her jjustcie
as 2 wrongs make a right
hay, this moviie predicted tumblr!
and university!
chick tells husband she wanted to quit as i think shes into him
meanwhile uncle cumes in, takes out a guard with a chop and rescues husnand and chick but husband wants to save kid
ucn;e sez they can get her later and they leave
later withc doctor priest wants to ritual sacrifice the kid and fay dont want it
this snaps her out of working for the natives and she tries to save kid
but a native chick carrys her out and fay spazzes a bit
then giives her back too fay and they walk out
on da boat the good guys see the natives are on da move and go back to dave kid
but at da hose is no one and da natievs are gonan sactivese the kid
and fay has to shank her daughter
is thins a thing on being pro life?
but b4 she chops up her kid, husband caps her
see you in h-ll fay wray!
then carrys off his kid
after berrying fay wray, georgiaguysings as the survivors boat back to soviet new york
that kid's probably gonna be f'd up after that thing of the natives uprising and nearly being chopped up by her mom and seeing her get iced in front of her by dad
the end
that wasnt so bad
it kinda dragged a bit but it had interest and good designs
good production values and a bit of silent feels
i wasnt super into it but it was a decent 30s horror
nowadays they'd switch sides and make fay the hero for trying to chop up her kid and siding with the group trying to ice her fam
but this was pretty good and only like an hour long
for black moon 2 i want it to be 10 years later and uncle fears another uprising. there's also a resort built there with tourists and they don't think the natives will chop em up. So its up to the kid who'a now a teen and in a bikini top and mini skirt with a holy sword to fight off the natives attacking the resort after years training in holy arts to fight the wicked magic. Its also a 16 bit game like Valis on sega genesid, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you fight peole mutated by voodoo and devolved into animal hybrids and the game boss is a voodoo god who the natives acrificed enough people to revive in our world.

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