Sunday, December 6, 2020

The Sun Also Rises Review

 Note: I spell worse than hemming way, but at least i diddnt eat my gun

The sun also rises

this is my rvew on thesun also rises from the distant futture year of 1957

its written by ernest hemmingway and was directed by henry king wo did the snos of kilimanjaro, Jesse James and Captain from Castile 

inever saw this but heard its by hemming way so imma czech it oot

it stars tyrone power, ava gardner and errol flynn

so ater narration of generations going by we get credits and titrle

then its soviet paris france but then its 1926 after the 1st ww1

power meets a guy from the war and its revealed hesa newspaper guy and war guy wants  to gtfo this stnk hole

huh, the real hemingway hated this film

then again, akiras toriyama hated db evolutoon and steven king hated the shinning

so later power's homie wants to go to south america where the zentraedi went in robotech comics and novels

laterpower is in a cafe and has  drinks with a chick and she is surprized hes an American

she dont like paris and sez theres no where else to go and she buys a different dress every day

what a waste of money!

so they go to a resutarnt and she's kinda picky and fussy and nevrer satiisfied like a mollennial who gets everything he wwants and wants more

later she wants to go somehwere to probably b0ne but he sez he was wounded in ww1 and i assume he lost his parts

they go to a place to dance and she whines abbout the heat

man, these frenchies are never happy, its like they're feminists or something

a guy introduces her as georgette but thats the name of a celeb so she sez its not her name

he meets his homie who wwants to go to socviet south america and power wants to go to spain (But Franco hasn't saved it yet!!)

then this lady comes in and homie is gay for her and she says powers name is too biblical Jacob)

is she an atheist or an occultist?

so lady dances with power and she seems bummed and he asks whats wrong and sez she as gay a minute ago

she and he goes out and homie offers to get em a beer and powr sez to give the chick he was with a card

so power and lady make out and she sez she missed him and she shouldn't have come back

wtf they in a car with a curtain beind the rear window

so later homie and power and lady chat in a bar or mcdonalds or something

power tells homie lady is american but married a britmo in the war who bit it and is gonna marry a rich guy

power tells homie to go to h-l and he is all "take it back" as i guess even adults did that in the 20s

later power has viet nam flash backs to being cared for by a nurse after getting his parts blown off in korea

his right hand is bandaged and a general or w/e tells him the shell fragment missed his spine but now his parts dont work

just like with drake in degrassi next gen!

he has a smoke as his parts are already dead ans the tobacco won't make em any limper

so he goes off and leaves nurse who i think is lady behind and then its the present where lady i think comes by too help him

so then this frenchie comes by with booze and oh i thin hes a high rank guy, oh hes a count i think

so they chat and drink and he leaves and lets them keeop all da booze

she leaves but returns for her cr-p and she hugs him ans crys b4 going

later power tallks with someone whos going out of soviet paris and has a shower as they are in a locker room

later this blondde friend of power comes by and wants to go on an adventure with him and a french chick he just met

oh and lady is gone out

so they go fishing and alsmot drink fresh goats milk and look out over the city of soviet paris

later its day and they fishing and talk about chicks and how powers loved the one he was with

later they go to a bullfight as i guess they went to pre Franco spain

at spain they see lady and errol who is the guy she is gonna marry

also homie is there and errol wwas in the war but is outta cash

lady sez homie told em where powers would be and she wants to see a bull fight

they go to this bull thing and theres steers by the bulls to keep the peace

1 big black bull comes through this thing and these mexicans egg emm on and hide behind wood

they send more bullz thhrough 1 atta time and homie sez its gay being a steer but werrol sez its good as its easier

only thing they got there; steers and queers!

so powwwrs sez errol is drunk and errol denies it and after homie moves on, errol bashes homie as he knows homie is gay for lady

they they go to the running of the bulls and errol chugs boozeas he goes

a bull gets loose and f's up somee guys in a staduim as the guys look on later

errol wants to try a check that bounced 3x on the bull wo has knobs on its horbsso it dont gut anyone

so errol and wait i thiink was homie, iim not sure, f'd with the bull and the check gets lost

later theres a bll fight and later, they all go to a restaurant for dinner

they meet the bllfighter and erol is drnk andsez da bullz have no hornz, a reference to powers not having parts

he rambles about cr-lp while fdrunk and nearly fights bllfighter and then theres fireworks outside

later powers chats with ladt about the love issues witherrol and how he uused to be sober and she thought they could have made it

they go back and ulfighter has his palm read by lady (witchcraft!!)

so later they goo to another restauutrant or bar or w/e and errol is drunk and homie asks where llady is

errol sez shes with the bullfighter and homie fights powers, then gets beat up by waiters

homie goes to this room and beats on bullfighter and they fight as she tells em to stop like mr burns trying to stop homer and smithers

he takes down the mexicano but lady tells him to go and she helps her mexicano bull fighter bf

later its the next day and lady asks wheer homie is and sez bullfighter is busted but is gonna fight a bull

i bet he's  gonna lose his parts or get iced

errol sez da h-lll with her bullfighter and smashes booze bottles and the italianoes there get loud

meanwhile, lady and powers are out for a walk and she goes to a church and then as they walk on wishes the wind would stop

what are you? lillian gish?!

so bullfighter fights a big black bull and dont bit it

then a guy on a horse witha  spear like in Fire Emblem comes in and does something to the ull offscreen

is this where rodeos came from? ll those mexicans in texas bringing bullfighting fro spain?

so bullfighter goes in for round 2 and the people want him to pplace his own spears in the bull

lady sez he's too f'd from being beat up by homie

he dances around and does something to the bull offscreen and everyone cheers

can't they ice cows on movies?!

we do it all the time to make burgers!

just get a burger cow and edit it!

he ses this is for lady andgoes in for anotther round and does something offscreen with a sword and everyone cheers

then the bull gets up as his back is turned and rams him so hard he blows apart in a spray of blood guts and chunks


later homie sez sorry for being malcontent over lady not being his woman and he loves her and power is his only friend

one way out! (puts shotgun in mouth) nah thats what hemmingway would do!

so homie is going back to paris and the nazies are gonna b0ne him dead in a few years

power sees rrol and hes drinking and sez ladyu went with bullfighter and that he had a good life as a brit mo aristocrat

later the gguysare chatting about where homie went and errol feels bummed over it

errol is going to cannes and is gonna use credit as hes outta cash and they'll enslave him to pay it back

its revealed bulfighter was to fight again but cancelledc it and powe is going to a hiotel for a week before going back to work

later power is on a beach and getsa letter from lady saying she's f'd and needs help fast

he whizzes over there on his dead d0ng and finds shedont got bullfighter anymore cuz 1dumped the other (i missed who) and she needs cash

she wants him to take her with him and they go

they chat in a car and she's bummed about f ing out qwith all these guys and power is the only guy she could love

they drive off and we see the sunrise and nrrator sez 1 generation goes and another comes and the sun also rises

the end

that wasnt so bad

its not too interesting and kinda takes a while to get through, but its not awful

i hear the book had anti seemitist and gayness in it that the movie cleaned up

this has good colorand filming but is super widescreen with black bars on al 4 sides

its not bad and is decent but notsuper great

good acting though

it was cleaned up since the book so i didnt know the chick was a h00ker andthe lady was a sl-t

its probably where degrassi got the idea for that ep where drake's parts dont work and hs gf wants to b0ne

its got some good stuff in it but i found myself looking up go  nagai manga while it was on instea of watching

olus the relationship between power, lady and homie was based on hemmingway, a chick he was gay for, and his jewish friend

put it on the history channel!!

for thesun also rises 2 i want it to be about the main guy going on an epidition to an ancient lust temple to frind a cure for his limp thing and going through it with all its traps and karakuri guardians and golems and gator sized centipedes. also its a 16 bit sega genesis, sneds, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba game where you play as the main guy and go through a metroidvania thing to get to the ancient treasure to heal your limp parts.

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