Friday, October 29, 2021

Evangeline Review

 note; i spell poetic


this is my review on Evangeline from 1929 100 years befgore the 2nd Robotech War)

its based on a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, which sounds like a p0nr0 name. and ios directal by Edwin Carewe who did nothing i saw or heard ofg

it stars Dolores del Río from The Trail of '98/Bird of Paradise, Alec B. Francis from The Circle, James Marcus from The Iron Horse/The Scarlet Letter/Sadiew Thompson, George F. Marion from The King Of Kings, Louis Payne from Quo Vadis/The King of Kings and a BUNCHJA GUYS FROM THE 1800S, some of who were around in the Alleged Civil War

i never saw this but i think my dad might have the classics illustrated copmic book of it, but i dont recall it

btw despite it being from 29, its a silent film, so its like a 1995 Sega Genesis game: one of the laters ones, but with good quality

so after a title thing and creditys like a scroll unrollingshowing credits and then a line of a pomem and saying its in somewhere called acadia in the woods by the sea

wait it acadieand is in this village like naruto or something where they live in peace and dont lock their doors cuz theres no druggies or homies roaming the streets

there's a good priest whop dresses likea  black robe monk and a big a55 blacksmith like dmr edwards from robotech i mean little house on ther prarie

also is a fiddler whos jolly and a notery, w/e that is, who's trolled by fiddler but they get allong

oon the hillside is the rich farmer and evangeline who is cheerrful

the son of the notary comes by and is into her and sez he loved her since they were kids

but she is into another ghuy and it kinda bumms him out

one way out; make a clone under your control of her as a slave

he wishes her the best and goes off to eat his gun or w/e and she goes up and acts all lively and girly

this manly guy on a boat, the son of the blacksmith, comes by and evangeline has the priest bless her

she goes to the sea and boat  gets there and manly comes up and hugs her

thay talk about love and joke around and the church bells ring and they pra

later rich guy sez this frenchie guy rene is coming for her marriage contract but she is gonna riun off with manly man

some guys come by and i think its the blacksmith and his son

was that the guy who loved hert b4? i cant recalll

thern notery comes by and i think notery's son is the frenchie

the marriage contract is for her and manly guy and eva brings bugs of beer or grog or w/e

eva and manly go out to a stream anfd plegde their love as long as the water runs and kiss

but in 199X: the nucular war dried out the seas in Fist of the North Star

they are lovey dovey and she sings a song he loves

but its a silent film so we only near the piano

i assume its a song well known in the 20s i never heard of

later the town gathers as theres a proclaimation from the evil regent  king george 2 saying they are going to war with soviet france and are drafting them

the people dopnt consent and aare going to halifax to petetion the goverenor

this is in canada? where's all the moose riden by sasquatches?

btw; in 1776; When America cast out the regent's forces, those who chose to be subserviant to the regent went up and started canada

its like if after the civil war if many freed slaves went down to brazil to return to their past life

so the people go to the governor and say they serve the regent but are frenchies by blood

so they're double devolved?

and they dont comnsent to being sent to war against their own kind

but the governor says they are subjects of the monarch and have no right toi dissent

they whine more and the governor says he's gonna consider it

blacky mcsmith says his village will never fight france and leaves

its like how in te 2021 election in canada how chinees canadians voted against the alleged conservative candidsate for saying he'd take on the commie country of china

so later the troops are loaded on ships and the governor is sending col windslow on a secret mission w/o the crown's consent or request

windslow suggests not going aftrer the arcadians bvut governer gaylord dont care

in the village hidden in the arcade; theres as feast and dance of the wedding of manly and eva, but notery jr is disgruindtled

fiddler is bummed but the girls get him a mug of soda or rootbeet  or w/e 4kids trurns booze into and he's back into playing music

remmember that ep of hannibal where that guy was stealing intestines to make violin strings?

so the people in arcade's revenge are jolly and happy and a swarm of soldiers come by and tell the men to assemble in the church

the people dont like it but priest says the evil britmoes wont attack em in the Church

in there they are toold the gov is stealing their land for not doing the govs bidding, its to be burned and they're fams will; be sold to otherlands

now they are prisones of the crown and blacksmithg calls for defiance

the people rise up to fight for freedo but the priest calms em, by saying The Hpuse of the Lord is not for violence

they pray and ask for forgiveness

later its night and manly is 1 of 20 alllowed to sayt bye and tell the people big gov is taking their homes and freedom

she has hope and believes in her love and they'll make it

later the people are rounded up and sent off on ships to far away lands by their rival countrymen

like with the africans soild to Europe and The Americas

also families are separated like those mexicans coming over in 2014 but not cared about by the news until 2018

then like in bravceheartr or with general sherman; the bad guys burn the peoples homes as the fleeeing people watch

the priest prays and whenn they land; the fiddler is harassed and his prized fiddle is stomped on

wait; they didn't leave yet i think

eva wants to get on the same boat with man;ly and goes to get her dad

as they go, dad fallls and she helps him and manly is pulled away by the brits and knocxked out

evas dad bites it and manlyt is thrown in a boat and shipped off as sahe waves and cal;ls to him and goes in the sea

she goes back and they yell to each other

the news of the arcaniran movement gets to soviet england and the people are p-ssed

brad i mean bill pitt complains about it in the house of commons despite england being the f--king bad guy since like the robin hood days

king john (who b0ned a 8-15 year old) oppressing the people, queen victoria'S SINS,  i mean elizabeth 1, the evils on the irishmen scottsmen and other groups, henry 8 chopping up his women, wrongly accusing oscar wilde of sodomy, stealing americans on boats for forced servitude yto the regenmt and starting the war of 1812, war crimes in ww1 and 2, being part of the rasputin wacking, charles taking out diana and his other women, the royal wedding sh-tting up the news, censoriung nunchaku and f--king sausages cuz they look like nunchaku in ninja turtles, banning and forcibly censoring movies as a few crusty brits at the bbfc are triggeredm, banning guns which leads to knife crime and knice control laws

lets face it; they s-ck!

we otta just nuke em! they got it coming, worked for sodom and gomorrah

so eva is searching the states for manly love annd later its been 5 years since being exiled and some are finding each other in the confederate states

she looks for her manly love and finds noterys soin i think, who sez ain't seen him in 3 years

1 guy sez in saint lewis 2 years ago he was seen but she looked for him there

a year agho he was in new orleens but when she was there he wasnt

so they're in the bayou like billy and eva is staying with noterie son who's stoll gay for her

she only thinksd of her manl;y alpha male bf andgoes off to find him

brw, noterie looks kinda like marvels loki

so manly bf is roaming aroyund on a canue and is dressed like danmny crocket and hears her singing

but then gives up and they go by missing each other with a thing of plants between em

the black smith is now a herdsman and eva and her daddy come by

he looks like he's be porthos in the  muskweteers

so she hears he just left for her yesterday and tomorow they'll go out for him

she sees manly mans room and smellshis clothes

mmmmm, man musk!

that salty sweaty smell guys get from being manly

oh wait, its not her dad, its the priest

so they go out and priest gives her a blessing and after a few days; lose his trail

so they're in the ozareks and going through ruff watter and the boat f's out

she gets to shore and the other guys are gone and she runs through the woods calling to him

she runs through the darkwoods scared kinda like disney ripped off in SAnow White and then a storm comes

a 9 foot tall sasquatch come out and says "I have longed for a human woman for some time" and reaches for her

jk really she sees a Crucifix on A TREE and waits out the storm clinging to it

after the storm she sees a priest and asks for his help

so she wanders for years and is is philedelphia  helping those in need

i guy knows her name and she recognizes him as hher manly bf

shes overcome with emotion and he has her sing to him for a while

the end

that was pretty good

nicce camera work and style

sort of like an early 30s film

tells a good story and has great emotin

shows how evil the brits are and how their rules ruin humans and frenchies

I'm not sure when this takes place but its gort good style and feel

i enjoyed it and it works

plus the "people living in peace before the bad guys attacked" was ripped off by The North Star

For Evangeline 2 I want it to be 1776 and her and her man are siding with America as under cover ops toi deliver messages between Americans and help defeat the brits. Also they have severasl gadgets made by ben franklin that aid therm. Its also a 16 bit cinematic platformer like Out Of This World/Another World on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA whee you gotta get past the brits and solve puzzles and use items to save America

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