Sunday, October 24, 2021

The Lincoln Lawyer Review

 Note: I spell confedrtate!

The Lincoln Lawyer

This is my reviewe on the linloc lawyer from 2011 (The year of Transformers The Headmasters and Robotech)

Its based on a book i never read by Michael Connelly who did bloodwork

it starts mattew mcconnalhwy, marisa tomei, Ryan Phillippe from I Know What You Did Last Summer and Igby Goes Down, John Leguizamo from the Good Super Mario Bros Movie, michael pena from mule, bob gunton from demolition man and the shawshank redemption, frances fisher from titanic, bryan cannston from that macross spin off dub, billianm h mascy from jurassic park 3, Trace Adkins, shea whighham from big miracle, michael pare from the virgin suicides, and a buncha dinks i never heard of

its directal by Simon i mean Mark I mean Brad Furman who did cr-p i never saw

i never saw this b4 but heard the name and thought it was based on something by john gruisham

this was rated R in America, 16+ in Poland, 12 in spain netherlands, portugal and germany, and 11+ in Denmark and norway

so after several logos (we know its lions gate! p-ss off! we don't gotta see it 15 times in a minute!) we get credits and shots of mattthew mcafrica in a car

man this is f-kkin widescreen

so he goes to wurk and luigi from mario bors the movie is his minion

always a number 2

\this guy is accused of beating up a chick and matt from digimon goes to court to do his lawfyer thing and gets a guys name wrong but remembers him from xmas from a gift he gavbe him

he meets this manson looking c-ck sucker named harold and defends him in court and asks for an extention to find a witness that isn't real

he gets it and goes to his big black car with NTGUILTY (Now Now Totally Guilty) and calls this blonde to remind him toi give the wrong name guy 200$ for xmas

his driver asks to stay on and matty sez he got his licsnece bnack 3 months ago

then a biker gang comes at em cuz its mad max or w/e and they stop for em

tyhe leader sez his homie harold sez math is stalling til he gets more money and math sez hwo he's gonna get him feree but needs more money

they pay him and as they drive away, he tells his driver   they dont gotta fly in the expert as the best are alrteady in sovieyt hollywood

this is california?! no wonder its f--jked!

then math meeths a teen whois 32 and gives him his stats

a scuzzy guy wants math as his laywer but her sez to wait his turn and teen sez he only has parking tickets and no big charges

later math flirts with a procesuter marisa who sez the teen was found in the victinms home wcovered in blood

they argue for letting him ror or not and hes out on 1 million dollers and an ankle monitor

he meets the dfamily lawyer of the teen and is told to be sensitive of the media

he stops a camera guy who recorede them and buys the tape off it

lawyer sez the teen chose math and math says his price wjhich is high

that laywer looks like lindsey graham

then he meets camera man and splits his money with him and returns the chs tape as he set him up to take the footage to look good

this guys some kind of t r edwards

then math meets a junkie and is also a h00kewr who b0nes guys for money or drsgs and 1 was mexican

math looks into it and the mexican is a furetive and tells where he was to drop the charges

so then math meets teens fam and team and tells mom the money has to come from teen and she can wire him the dough

also she leaves so she can't be used as a witness to what she hears

he sez hes innocent and tells how he went out to a party to pick up chix and saw the victim not into her date and dropping her address on a napkin to him

the prosecution doesn't have much b4 he weent to her place and he got there early and saw the bf leave inn a blueferrarri mustang

he went in and she knocked him out with a headshot and when he woke up these 2 queers from down the hall hwere holding him down

she set him up and put blood on his hand and might've had her butt buddy beat her up

we get the girls side saying he broke in and beat on her and had a knife on her neck

he sez its not his knife and she sed she stopped him with a bottle to the head

later mathmech is having a beer with macy and marisa i think brings him home as hes had too much

he looks kinda devolved and flirths with her as she goes off

da next day macy comes by with the bar camera feed and it backs up teens story and show butt vbudd y is left handed as the watch is on his left hand and the footage is morrored or something

i wore my watch on my right hand and i'm right handed

math shows the opposition who offers 7 years for battery and math and macy go over thew files andfind the kniofeww photo was swapped for them

they check with teen and say he lied about the chick being a h00ker and he sez he didnt want his mom to know

he sez the knife he sed wasnt his wasnt and he always carrys the knife as he shows homes to people they dont know

1 time this guy raeped his mom on a home show and stopped showing holmes

at night he goes to bring a kid to marisa's place and irts implied they made her b4

da next day he talksd with a guy about a past clkient who got hard time and iced someone and this giuy hates math for getting bad guys off

math says he had as client who iced his wife and kept her head in a fridge, but the DA trtied to add things he didnt do

then he meets merisa and chats over beer and wind up back at her place to b0ne

the next day she wakes yp withn their kid in bed with them as she has nightmares

marisa b--cvhes at math for keeping guys outta jail and she sends em there

later math goes over the photoes of the alleged civtim and goes through his files

then he goes to jail to visit a guy who was accused of a crime and admits to b0ning a h--ker

he suggests a deal but the guy says hes innocent

wait, thats a flash nack and he seez the same guy who the fl;ashnavk guiy was charfged for did this teens chick h--ker

he goers to see the guy from flashback, nowe with a shaved head, and he sez at this p0rn0 cluub he met this h--ker and went back with her but saw her talking to a guy

msath shows the guy mug shots and he eventually he snaps as he dont trust math

math goes backand tells m,acy the shavwed head guy was not guilty as the killer shanked the h--ker over 50x

math didnt believe the guy wa innocent as his dad said an innocent client is the most dangerous as if you lose they're f;'d

now math sees teen did it and the last guy is in jaiul for teens criomes

and he cant tell em as hes his atturuny

math driunbk drives out and goes home and wants to look into other chicks teen did

but his door is open and teen is there saying hes in real estate and he knows what mnaths upto

he admits he iced the 1st girl and  that ne knows about maths  daughter and her life

so its trial and he gives a speech vaguely implying 1 of them, chicxh or teen, is the real predator

later he goes to this crime scene where a guy got capped, and his little dog too, and its macy windoo

the dad from malcom in the middle is a cop and is retiring in 18 months and is a smarta55

then he goos too see luigi and reveals that luigi sent him to teen and teen iced macy and luigi is the only one who can take the tracker off teen

after more booze he goes to see marisa (which is like Japanese for Melissa) and tells her the teens a killer

the next day he chex his answering machine and macy sed he found somthing on teen to save shaved head and was then iced

math mech calls a cop and finds a certain gun iced macy and he finds his guns gone

at da trial the guy in the ferrarri mustang sez he b0ned the h00ker and denies hitting her

later malcoms dad and lady cop have a warrent for his place and search it

the gun was used by a gangster in the 40s that maths dad got off and they stil have the ballistics on file

blonde sez the guy macy had wasa court snitch and is in rehab and math goes to see the junkie b4

at da trial victim sez she knew him from b4 and plays word gumnastics to make her look bad

also he makes her not being known to the h--kers as dangerous means hes safe

after lunch the defence shows their side and mom sez her son carrys a knife cuz someone he knew was raeped and her son found her

the defence sez tthey can do 6 month but teen dont want to deal and msath is putting himon the stande tommorrow

math tells his driver to get something and later hes cross examinining teen who says hes innocent

btw the teen is a frenchie so it explains whoihes a purvo

look at the marquis de sade!

the offense sez to call a rebuttal witness tomorrow and later math checks a list and seez someone iss on there

in the courdt later the witness is said to be the snitch and the juryy is calls out for the laywers to argue

they do and mcafroica puts up an argument but the offense wins and math goes to da hall to make a call and tellsa a chick to come at a set time with a printout

the scuzzy guy from b4 is da snitch and sez teen admitted to giving a (word blanked out on bounce) exactly what she deservbed

math goes on about how scuzz bucket snitched on 4 guys and scuzz sez teen braghgs about icing girls b4

defence i mean offence gets scuzz to say about the other girl teen iced and guy who hated him b4 is there

matjh grills scuzz over fingering a guy of b0ning a 10 yeaR OLD AND the guy was innocent

and now he sez doing this for the offence

judge sends jury out, b--ches at laywers over putting a liar on the stand

later teen in the toilet wants to know how scuzzmo got the info and math sez macy did it b4 teen iced him

the offence lawyer drops the case with predjudice and now tyewen cant be charged with this beat down again

after the trial math sez he wants the gun in whisper and the cops come for teen for icing the chick b4

math sez he's down being teens lawyer and  teen sez he styill has teens gun i mean mayths gun

math sez; have fun esxplaining how you got it and they take teen away

macloms dad sez "whos side u on?!' and later math goes to his car weith a ticket in it cuz driver ws getting food

driver has brought what i think is math mcaids dgun back for him and drives him home

he checks his message and calls marisa who sez teen got out and he knows a parking ticket thing to nail teen

he  tells get tro gfet outta town and calls luigi to track teen on his tracer

he drives ona cellphone wihile taliing to luigi from kland of the dead or w/e

at a place by a house teen meets math mcdonalds and tells him to take 1 chance to gtfo

teen sez he's not gonna be there all night to protech his fam and the bikers bust up teens car and teen

math sez "hospital, not morh=gue" and lets these mad max dudesd wail on him

marisa sez teen got a ticket outside the place he iced that chick and later he goes home and teens mom is there and wants revenge for her "innocent" son

she caps himand sez she iced macy and he counter shots her with his dfirearm

conceal and carry saves lives

math later gets outta the hosputaL AND  driver drives him saying shaved head is out and teen is gonna get the needle if the loawres win

then the bikers come for him and he stops and they talk about him capping thew clients mother

biker sez his guy got caught with 50 kee lows and they owe him for helping him and he sez he'd do it for free

later to driver ther bikers are rpeat custyomers an dhe';d get em next time

the end

that was pretty good

mathew mcd0ng is good ast being sleazy but not evil

good twists and surpirzes and logic

good use of showing how tough it is for lawyers

i watch a lot of law ands order and this was a good twist

its ike 2 hours without adds but goes by at a good pace

dont drag and has good style

glad i saw it

its a solid legal film

and just like a time to kill; mathew mcarea is defending a guy who did it and finds a loophole 

for The Lincolon Lawyer 2 i want it to be about ther trial about the guy fronm the 1st movie but thanks to evidence being hishandled, he is seeming to go free, and with the bikers beating him up, he's shown that mathew was against him. and mathew has to help them from the shadows to get the case back on track. its also a point and click adventure on sega cd, tg16 cd, panasonic 3D0 and Phillips CDi where you play as the lawyer and gotta find the clues by talking to people and choosing the right option

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