Wednesday, October 13, 2021

The Crisis Review

 Note; i spwell historiocaLLY ACCURATE

The Crisis

This is mt review on Tje Crisis friom 1916 (A century before the world was destroyed in Mazin Saga on Sega)

iTS BASED ON A ww1 i MEAN cICIL wAR nOVEL BY Winston Churchill (not the brot mo who celebrated when pearl harbor gpot hit) that i never heard of

it stars George Fawcett from The Merry Widow/Flesh and the Devil/ Son of the SAhiek/ The Wedding March, Matt B. Snyder who was in the REAL Civil war, Eugenie Besserer from Scarface/The Jazz Singer/Flesh and the Devil/ The Circle, Marshall Neilan (Blanch Sweet's husband) froom the 30s A Star is Born, Alfred E Neuman I mean Green  from Disraeli/The Jackie Robinson Story, Tom Mix and a bunch of 11800s dudes i never heard of

I never saw this b4 but there was a Classics Illustrated Comic Book based on it

So after a title we see both flagsof America, Union and Confederate, and Lincon putting his hand on a slaves head to do some kinda daemon worship cult thing

then its the South and they have Slave Owners Rights and the yankees are against it

but there's an issue if the New States will be feree or slave

although with the dred scott case; the slavewry issue was decided by the supreme court, so we don't need to make new laws to deal with a settled issues

so this colonel of st lewis, his aughter and a judge are having dinner and daughter plays a song on piano that gives 1 guy a flashgback to his childhood and meetying a hunchback

hes sent away but tries to getr in (i think its the judge)  and daugfhter comforts him

judge goes off with her and wait, i think thats her dad the col

later hopper comes frim soviet massechuses to srt leweis and isn't liked for beiung a yankee

col gets a letter from judge to accept his offer or sometyyhing, its in handwriting so its hard to read

oh this guy brice and his  mom are coming over

later this guy trys purse snatching a guys sh-t but judge fires his pisto,. to scare the guy awayu

then jusge gives the guy a jobn and i think its hopper

so judge and col debate over political issues of the day and later daughter comes by her dads office

a lady comes by to buy clotyhes and dsaughters cousin hel;ps  her out

judge comes by and sees cousin being b--chy and cousinb cal;ms down

so this guy brice and mom come by and he's gotta deal with a 900 $ thing that he's gonna do at the bank on the way to the judge

judge sees in the paper theres a slave sale and this girl, wait, i got judge and col mixed up i think. wel daughter wants col to buy her this slave

the slave sale is shown to be rough, although kids often got beat by their parents and teachers well into the 1960s

a yankee bids against cousin and later the brices rent a cottage and brice is invited to daughters b day party

at da partee daa col thinks of his wife and smells her dress

laterthey are dancing and some don't  like the yankee hopper beiing there

daughter dfances wityh a guy but they all have the same hair and outfit so i dont know who's who

later the guests go home and its summmer and judge gives brice a ticket to lincons thing at the lincon duglass debate

judge sends lincon a note saying he wants him to meet brice and brice and lincon talk

there's a big doyuglass parade outside and like birth of a nation; it uses smoke to make it look like theres more guys

so douyglas and lincon debate over Slave Owners Rights and linconm doeres better

dougmal and linconb part on good terms and latewrlater at the col's summer home he gets a letter i can't read

later juidge is getting a hug from this girl i think its daughter helps him with hisd coat

wait i think its not daughter as later, waiot, shes helping him in bed and later cousin gets wait, its brtice, getting a letter from colonel

so later daughtewr sez to colonel that,m weait, col sez to daughter that brice is ciomming and he comes

brice and col see judge in bed living there and brice tells about lincon abndf wrote an article in the gazzette fort it

so later brice goes back to look after his mom and later in st lewis they hear linxcon is nominasted for prez

1 guiy who likes daughter wants to man up for him io mean her

so judge is kinda f'd out and col warns if lincon isd elected; the south will leave ther union

kinda like America leaving englasnd in 1776 or Polands leaving Austria after WW1

col trys to get judge to drink something for liocon as judge is kinda F'D

SO LATER AN AIUNT wants to hold a costune party and worries of a black republican coming

larry elder? Ben carson? kanye weast? easy E?

oh she don't wanna go if the guy is comming

at da cosplauy thing this guy comes by looking like davy crocket and 1 girl has a note

davy crockert guy is with another chick and gets a note and goes off

daughter meets a guy dressed like a 1776 guy she mistook foir her cousin

he sez sorry for bugging her and rides off

crockett comforts this possibly daughtyer and later its revealed thart lincon got elected

everyone freajks out like when Truump got in and later judge buys col's furniture at an auction

i think they missed a reel

so col gets a letter and later daughter is out in the grass

col puts his cr-p in a suitcase(including big boots like that ep of arthur where brain wanted to do a tim capsule and binky wantewd to put those unclke slam boots in)

this guy with bad hair hots on daughter and wants to marry her and sez her dad isd desparate

she sees a slave packing for him and she asks col if he borrowed money from him

col scares hiom off and he books it and tells daughter they are as poor as white trash

So brice goes to the service and says bye ti his mom and col goes offto war too

judge is f'd up and his slace helps him and theres a big battle between union and copnfederaste and, like bith of a nation; the smoke makes the battlefield look like its full

on june 22 the musouri regiment is digging a tunnel to jackson like its nam

pretty good batttle sacenes

on june 25 they go in a mine below fort jackson and theres a lot of smoke blasts

so the batytle rages on and the confederates are outta caps but 1 guy goes ofgf top get more in a shack

he goes acropss the river in a bboaty, gets em, and heads bacl as the boat is mostly under water and he paddles

as he goes through the woods he gets capped by a yabnkee and the battle goes on

the yankees attack but the south fights back

on july 3vicksburg falls and a city is being busted by enemy shells

good night burning and contrast with the bright fire anbd daRK city

brice uses his sway with sherman to get safe passage for some guys

daughter anbnd judge are inside and i think daughter is with this bearded guy

brice mom gets a note i cant read and later this guy, i think yankee hopper asks daughter if she likes bricve

she sez she hates him but brice saved her, wait, its this guy saying he hates brice but brice saved him but sent him back to her

she sez she'd never love a yabkee and kisses his forehead

meanwhile col fights on and hears his homie judge is biting it in the paper

hopper or whoever is the guy is going back to the front and asks daughter to masrtry him after the war but she dont reply

col i think sneaks backl and a guy follows him but backs off to avoid being seen

col sees judge buthes blind i think and col crys for hus friend

alsso he meets his daughet who crys for him, wait, it might not be her

she checks jidghes desk andfinds a book with stuff written in it and a yankeee comees in

the guy following em comes in and the yankee is brice

following guy thanks brice for saving him buthe sez itsa cuz of her hthey made it

the saved guy goes off and biumps into a guy and goes with him

judge asks TheLord to help daughter's dad col and i notice the judge lookds a bit like rodney dangerfield

he sez bye to brice andto hold lincons image before him as hes a man after linconmds and judges hearts

tthen asks dauighter to play the song again and she doies

he bites it and daughter cries and the guy who sez col owe him money sez to marry him or he''d have her dad hung

he grabs her, in the real version i think he was trying to b0ne her, also; like wit that guy coing after the chicks in birth of a nation

but brie comes in and tthrows him down

money guy, wtf, thats hooper?! i cant tell these guys apart!

so brice tells hooper he knows hooper was making deals with the Confederatews, like with Edwards and the Invid in Robotech, and tells him to gtfo or hes telling sherman

so later cousin is court martialled as a spy and the battle continues beytween north and south

col is capped and sez to send word tyo daughter

a soldier tells daughter and later brice meets lincon to ask to pardon cousin

lincon knows the cousin wants to mmarry daughter as i guess this is shelbyville

daiughter mewets lincolon who asks if shes gonna marry her cousin

she was but sez she dont love him

but the guy who saw col is there, defended cousin and also asked to pardon him

lincon signs a pardon like Trump saving the Tiger King goy and  hopes  the Southers see him as a good guy, despite him starting the civil war and being like King George 03 to the Souths 13 colonies

he sez he feels for the south and it pains him to have them pain

also he sez Daughter loved the American Flag and hopes both north and South can look at it with love

even though decades laster self hating Americans burn it and dump on the Land of the Free for a few issues from long ago

and he;'s not gonna hang Confederatews but hang onto em

lincon goes off and brice asks if she lvbes him and she sez she fought it but yes

later she's with him in a dark room and a slkave brings em the paper

i think linmcon got j fk'd andthey go to a flag coffin

then both American Flags next tyo each other

the end

that was decent

its kinda hard to keep track of who's who, esp with the bad fiulm quality

it tells a good styory thats kinda like Birth of a Nation but covers the lead up to, and some of, the war

sorta like robotech with the love on opposite sides of a war

its an early film but holds up and has good feels

i never read the book but this was pretty well made and while not as epic as birth of a nation, its not a bad film

glad i saw it

for The Crisis 2 I want it to be the rconstruction and the yankees and carpet baggers and other malcontents are oppressing the south and tyhe daughter, who is tired of injustice, trains her body to be big and beefy like a pro wrestler and goes out as a masked hero taking on carpet baggers and yankees and regegades and malcontents. Its also an 8 nit action game like Nightmare Circus but not as complex and hard to do on NES, Nameboy, Master System, Gamer Gear, TG16, Atari 7800 and Lynx where you play as her and fight different areas takesn over by the baddz

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