Thursday, October 7, 2021

The Human Centipede 3 Final Sequence Review

 Note; my spelling fits this movie

The Human Centipede 3 Final Sequence

This is my review on The Human Centipede 3 Final Sequence from 2015 (The year of Alien Soldier on Sega Genesis and somew Robotech cr-p)

Its a super hero movie like Antman or The Blue Beetle

Jk really Its the last part of the Human Centipede Trilogy from This Centuries Marquis De Sade: Tom Six

I never saw any of these but read up on em on Wikipedia and laffed my a55 off at how f'd they got

I talk about these movies all the time and often joke about eating human waste

But just like my cannibal jokes; i never do it in real life

The 1sdt HC movie was, relativly speaking, a normal horror, the 2nd onme was all the blood and poop we expected, and this one is just wrong for the sake of wrong

This is not only rated one of the worst movies ever made, but also the main actor wanted out as he hated the character he was forced to play by contract

It stars Dieter Laser and Laurence R. Harvey from the 1st 2 films, Tommy "Tiny" Lister from Austin Powers 2, Jay Tavare from Street Fighter with another Europeany guy: Jean Claude, Eric Roberts from The Cable Guy/DOA: Dead or Alive/The Dark Knight/The Expendables/Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper / A Talking Cat!?! and an a55 load of other sh-t, Bree Olson from p0ren0, Clayton Rohner from April Fols Day, the dr from the human centipede 2 and the japanese guyy from the human centipede 1

enough j-rkin off! time for some sh-t!!

so it starts with the end of the last movie where the devolved guyy from the 1st fiom has the dead guys behindf him and its all just a secks fantasy

btw this is super widescreen

so it turns ouyt its the 2nbd movie being watched by boll bossd and his devoilvced assistant and bill a55 bill hates it

his bimnbo slave daisy likes em cuz i ghuerss shes a degenerate and he mo lests her for it (also i guess shesa not wearing undies as he reaches undfer her miniskirt with his finger)

devolved guy has an idea but theres an issue and on the way there; devolved guy sez their prison is the modst f'd one in the Nation and has the worst crooks who keep going back tio crime

in 1 cell is an inmate being b--chy and he vows to deal with him later

i gotta say; good atmosphere of this scene

The sandy tanned dusty feel reminds me of a more arizona version of The Crow City of Angels

1 guard got his arm f;d by an inmate and he snaps the convicts arm he j-rks off with, then says he'd snap ity AGAIN when heaLED

also he says racial things and pulls out a gun and fires wjhile ret-rdedly yelling about needing respect

i love it! I'm grinning at howe over the top it is!

this feels like something a disgruntled middle schooler would make

so lsater the devolved guy llikes the bimboandf she closes the door so he cant see her

a package comes in (like a p0rn0?) and boss wants to bring back torture like midieval times

devolved guy sez 4/10 offenders reoffend and bimvbo bringsd in ther package but he yells at her to go

the package has african girl crotchnes he eats for strength as in africa; they have gender equality for circimscisions (like candya55 trudeau wants??)

thern boss (from maZINGER Z?) gets a call from a guy wanting to raepe him

he eats a handfull of crotches and hides under the desk with his gun and  devolved guy sez an inmate got the phone for a bit after checking

bimbo comes in aND SEZ bosses dr called for a pgusical and when he goes in he's not going with the dr's ideas of getting a heart test

he tests himself ands sez hes ok and then is gonna water boards the guy who wANTED TO a55 raepe him

but the water isn't poiling so he sez to get better water and bimbo sez the governor is comming in 20

the gusrds bring back the boiling water and he water boards him and cooks his face buurned like freddy kreugar

so gobbernor erich roberts comes in and binmbo trys to seduce him so they can use a harassment thing against him but it dont work

he offers eric cigars but eric only smokes cubans and boss goes on about how mondo cool America is, wait, how bad communisam is

wtyf the devolved guy is namned butler!

rhetts dna ghot devolved since the 1800s

eric b--ches at boss for "bad leadership" annd sez as this is an election uyear; he wants results and in a fortnite: if things ain't better; he's replacing him

as eric leaves; boss goes o a tourettres tirade aagainst his commie a55

good f--k he just keeps going on and on in that ret-rded voice!

I'm having a great time and laughing aat this!

This  movies great!

Its like Richard McbEEF!!

after kind of a mental fit, he wants the inmates all having their parts torn off buut devolvo serz its too much

boss wants the convicts in the yard but its 120- degrees out

so the inmates are in the yard and he yells insults at em from a tower from a megaphone

he vows to remove their parts tpo make em sissy and has 1 imate who wanted o a55 raepoe him taken in

he heats a blade with a blowtorch and makes a really f'd face, puts him on the wall and neuters him

we see it and he tells devolved guy to cook em as he smearsa his face and head with crotch blood

later after b00ning the bimbos mouthm she has issues with devolved guy watching but he dont care

he reveals he got her dad outta prison and she owes him like its bad svu but less gayness, and makees her swallow his j-zz

just looked it up on imdb and it got 18+ rating everywhere except for norway/sweden amnd denmark at 15+, indonedia at 21+ and erm,any/malasia and the candy a55 phillipines who banned it

you know many things worse than this movie happen there, but fiction of fake people fakely being f;d? ban it!

she wants a candy for the taste and eats a crotch despite devolvor trying to stop it

then ther guards bring over the neutrered guys parts and he eats em

another german cannibal? what is this? the brothers grimm?

boss sees in da paper another inmate was executed and wants neutering to be the final solution to the crime issue

devolvor wants to tell his idea but boss is eating and gets a call that an inmate woke up

he goes to the med zone and pulls the banmdages off the water boarded guys face and jokes about his redness

Then snaps the broken arm guys fingers and tells the dr tomorrow they'll have a mass neutering of inmnates

dr sez this prison hospital is the only place that lets him work without his liscence

then boss taunts neutered guy for geiung sossy now and hewutered guy  vows to butt f--k bposs with barb wire and necro raepe boss's parents

boss sttrangles neuiutered guy and kills him but gets the dr to shock him alive, only for boss to stranghle him again

aii keel dees kre chure twice!

i laughed hard at that

thisa guy is so f--ked up!

its like riki-oh or something!

So devolvo wants dr to watch ther human centipede movies and he sed he did and liked em

later boss comewws in drunk with a gun and sez hjes gonna cap everyone there includoing him self as the neutering program didn't work

when devolver b--cxhes at him, he calls him an "ugly piece of mutant sh-t" in such a mental voice i laughed

devolver sez he has the answer; make all the prisopners into a human ventipede to keep ther prisoners in line and will make peopler stop doing crimnes

boss thinks it wont work but devolver got bimbo to get N APPOINTMENT WITH TOM SIX as its 100% medically accurate

boss don't wanna talk to tom six abnout his poop fetish, which i guess is tom six coming out in a way by wrtiting this line, but europe is very open minded and tolerant of alternative lifestyles so they probably celebraTE IT over there

boss fires devoldec guy whjo sez he used to look up to him (but hes a gigantic f--k!) and calls him an a55 hole

devolver walks out and boss yells spome undeciferable sh-t at him and drinks more, then puts his head in the garbager can and yells

then eats a crotch and gets gis megaphonbe and insults the people from the tower buty theres no one out there

this seems like it was written by tom six and his nephew while playing xbox

later boss is drnking in the caf and the inmates come in and he's freaked out and wimpering cuz he knows he's f'd

the neitered guy cuits a hole in his  kidney and b0nes it as blood  slipps out

he cut him open amnd f'd his guts?? this is llke something I'd dmake!

also devolvo is sicxking a dudes thing

but it turns out its just a dream and tom six comes over

devolvo comes in and boss aims a gun at him but devolved guy wants to givce him 1 more chance

tom comes in and bimbo gwets his autographh and devolved guy suxcks up to him about all the parodies and p0rn0es of it

then dr comes in after reviving the neiitered guy again

ddevolved guy wants to make a human cenitpede here and tom sez he met a surgeon in europe who could make one

btw; tom six does seem like the kind of guy to go to a jail to make a real human centip[ede

h-ll he gave a high school teacher aN AUtographed box set of the movies agfter teacvher showed a grade 10 class the 2nd one

so tom brought the drawings and operation report and dr sez it can be done

and the poop wouldnm'ty be dangerous as its staying in the trACK AND WONT BE CONTAMINATED BY OUTSIUDE SH-T

and ifd you give em vitamins they can lve a life of the human vewntipede

boss thinks its the ultimate and wants to do it but devolded guy sez they gotta release the inmates eventuaslly

so he wants to not remove teeth ort cut tendons and just uise injections and a mouthj thing to hold it open and learther straps so once released; its just a scar on mouth and annus

dr sez tthis goes against his dr oath, but if he don't he'df get fired

sounds like real life with the big med devolving us

so tom sed his original idea was sewing a child mo lesters mouth to a fat truck drivers anus

look ouit hollywood! all you child lusters are gonna eat sh-t!

boss has an iddea and tom gives consent to do it if he can watch

dr ssez they need to test prisoners for parasites and boss is  gonna show the inmates both movies for movie night and tell em they're next

he does and the inmates say quotes from reviews for the rewal movies

then boss comes out with a machinegun, fires in the air and tells them they're next

devolved guy sez this is gonna get em, f'd and the inmates fiot

boss does not open fire on em for some reason and esacapes to his office and locks daisy out

the big black guuy beats on her as the japanese guy is j-rkin off to it and boss jumps out tgher window

then the ruiiot teem comes in ands wastes the rioters

devolved butt ler finds boss borot iunder a tree and sez they caught embut beat the bimbo bAd butn  he dont care

he yells at a bird for a while and later goes around with a tranq gun capping inmates

gotta love how he does it himself instead of passing the buck onto his minions

he gets a b00ner from the inmates being submissive and dances around and singsd

then boss reads from a script about what they do to make the human centipede

You know how they had the Saturday AM Watchmen or wanted to do an Alliens kids show?

Theme song to The human Centipede The Animated Series on Fox Kids!

Huuuu maaaaaaaaan! Cen ti pede!

MasTer AlWays Gives Us Just What We Need!

Huuuu maaaaaaaaan! Cen ti pede!

Out Of The Butt We AlWays Feed!

Huuuu maaaaaaaaan! Cen ti pede!

NevEr Do Drugs Like Meth Or Weed!

Huuuu maaaaaaaaan! Cen ti pede!

We alWays BeHaive Or Else We Bleed!

so the inmates are spazzing out from the drugs and dr is having several teams makes 3 man cenitpedes andf they are taken out to be connected to each other

also 1 inmate has chrons disease and has constant runshas the neutered guy sewen to his a55

neutered guy begs not to be ceitipeded and boss mocks him by saying his whining gives him a b0ner

also 1 guy has a stoma aND can't be equipped to the human centipede as his rectrum is sewn shut

boss thinks its groos amd checks if its fake and pulls off his poop bag and it squirts

boss wants dr tro put him to sleep (which is lefgal in soviert canada thanks tyo candy a55 trudeau) but dr has morals and wont murder an innocent man

so after dr leaves, boss puts a gun in the stoma and blows him open

tyhat was so f--ked up i laughed

boss then has devolved guy clean the blood and sh-t off his gun

after capping anbopther prisioner they see daisy and she's in a coma and devolved guy wants her treated in a real hospital

devolved guy sez he loves daisy but boss sez; even the corpse of a spaztic would turn him down, f odff" and gets on her and b0nes her body

this is like evangelion but we're not meant to be sereious or meaningful

wehich makes it better as that was 'fd

later boss wants to premier the ceitipede to the governor AND ais fgonna be under budget

boss eats more african crotches and they role play boss as governer and devolved guy as boss

fake gov loves america nnowe ands never smokes cubans now and sees him as an american herpo who made samerica a golden era

devolved guy sez it was really his idea and boss spazzes out looking in a mirror

then tom six comes by and wants to prove its medically accurate

they come across an inmate eating his own cr-p aND wants to be in the human centipede

so boss shoots him a few times so no one will enjoy it

even butt f--king tom six thiks its wrong and in the operating room they sewe a face to an a55 with the needle going through and pulling them together

then they go on to a room and peoples limbs are being sawed off and it makes even tom six barf

later the centipede is finished and giverner eric roiberts comes in and fires them

but boss sucks up to his a55 and sez he got ther prison fixed and ericv sez : u talk so much sh-t, ur a55 must be jealous!

What a great line!

he showws him the 500 man human centipede and eric roberts is confused at wtf this is

devbolved guy sez despite more money going into jails; people keep gpoing back to comitting crimes

i blame the president at the time

so now this human prison centipede will deter criminals from their acts

boss is happy and having fun at all these crooks eating each others sh-ts and howe now they are all equal in their situation and musdt get along despite racial, cultural, and status differences

also daisy acciddentally got sewed into the human centipede and is filling up on recycled poop

they save money on staff, guards, books, and other things and boss wants to loop em in a cirvcle so they eat the same sh-t forever

like in The Simpsons how nelson solved world hunger by putting the digestive tract's anus in its mouth

the prison money they save can go to schools and hospitals like the demnocrats want, but without taking away the cops so we won't devolve into venezuala

the a55 end of the centipede has an unclean anus so devolved guy wipers it (A callback to him b0ning the human centipede in part 2)

then bill boss shows eric roberts the human caterpillar, which is the death row inmaTES with their arms/legs sawed off and swen a55 to mouth

then shows a guy wjo just got out of centipedism ands has some mouth and anus scars that will shjow everyone he was in the a55 mouth

he's turned his ways around and wont go back to grime

erich robertes is disturbed by this sh-t eating amnd thinks boss and brett i mean butler will be executed for this

although if he WAS to be executes, it would be for all thje worse sh-t eric never saw like killing prisoners and eating that guys pasrts

boss trys to blame devolved butler on it but erich has left

boss pulls his revolver and is gonna end himself but is then gonna do devolved guy

dr comes in and wants to do a national campaiugn of human centipedes but boss caps him and then blows one in his head

too bad it didn't show  it onscreen anbd his head popping

he's gonna end devolved guy but eric comes back and realizerd "this isd exactly what America needs" and "might get him elected president"

and as convicted felons can;'t vote: He's not gonna worry aboutr the crook vote!

and he's gonna show his DC pals and goes off to tell erm

devolved guiy is glad his idea worked ND BOSS HUGS HIM, then bows one in the head for "stealing boss's idea" and puts the gun in butlers hand

then we see boss naked in the tower (but he's covered from the waist down by the tower wall) screaming in a megaphone over the centipede as America's themne song plays

Production trucks provided by Avon?

The make up guys?

And a lot of people in here seem to bre related to Tom Six

the end

that was awesome

i honestly laughed more than most films

its crass, stoopidd and devolved

biut it works

the best parts are how bat sh-t insdane bill boss is!

its like a blaxploitation film; so over the top itys great

look at dolemite!

plus the chrons disease guy looked like doug ford or brock lesnar

i had a great time with this and its so wroing its amazing

the main actor yellling in his accent is just too much and the way he's up to 112 the whole time makes the film

What did the German Cannibakl call his least behaved son?

Brat Worst!!!

It fits as this guy eats crotches

i showed the wikipedia article to my yugioh homie and he couldn't finish reading it as it was too f--ked up

its f--ked up like tom green or something: awful on purpose and it has fun with it

i ask: ramnnk these directors: Tom Green, Ton Six, Tommy Wiseau

tom green and six make bad films bad on purpose but they are enjoyable

I'm glad I saw this and a lot of people think its cr-p but they just don't get it

its intentionally awful! Thats the point!

I loved it and would describe it as good bad fun!

For The Human Centipede 4 Extra Segment: I want Canada to be lead by a clone of the Marquis De Sade (As he's a pro abortion, queer, french atheist and he decides to forcibvly entegrate everyone in canada into one Sea To Sea Human Centipede! Also its an 8 bit game on NES, Gameboy, Master System, Game Gear, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 where you gotta solve math problems by connecting the right numbers tattooed on the people together as you build your Human Centipede

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