Thursday, April 7, 2022

Ghoulies IV Review

 note; i spell like a sequel

Ghoulies 4

This is my review on Ghoulies 4 from the distant future year of 1994 (the year sonic 3 and knuckles came out)

I never saw the 1st 3 but this ones on Comet so here we are

Its directal by Jim Wynorski who did Chopping Masll, The Thing Below, Camel Spiders, and a bunch of p0rn0

IOt has Tony Coxz from Beetlejuice, and no one else I know of

it styarts with this leather chick breakingh into a storehouse and beating opput a guard, then uses a shuriken in another guard, then ghunmning a few more

shre reminds me of Rachel from Ninja Gaigen

sdhe tyakes thsi coin, then spray paints a pentagream on the floor and puts the guards bodcies on it and sez a spelland it summons this guy in a cloak

shre wal;ks into the pentagram to give it to him but it makes him vaniosh and she runs

then these devolved midgets are summoned and run and we get title and credits to good msuic

then we get this guy goes in a car and his partnbet aims a gun at him until guy tells him whats going on and they are on a stake out since last night

gun partnetr gets coffee froma conveineice store and sees a guy and goes out and gives the signal butn his partnet takes a while to get it

gun partnet gets in a giunfight ad guy comes in only to falla gun guy gerts his gun and shoots on

he sneaks around and empties his guns int the bnad guy and later this high rank blonde comes by and was his gf

shge wants him to have a time off as his partnet is barfing andf she notices his neck thing jewel


huh, the bloinde in here was the mom in hgoney i shrunk the kids the swerrees: Barbara Alyn Wood

so then these 2 doofy guys have gone under ground in this stone place and blonde wacks 1 and uses him to summon the clkoak guy who looks like daemon from digimon

she offers her life to him but he sez they have another jewel so he can give her another chance

the doofy guy comes by and she wacks him and he seems like yogi bear

Later main guy andblonde cop are going in car and she whines that he detatched the radio and they talk abouit their breakup cuz he wanted to handcuff her for b0ning

they go top the warehouse from the start of the film anbd theres graffittio on it

oh its a museum and while he talks with the museum chick, she notices his necjlace jewel

the ghoulies are there hiding and they recognize some guy, then theres a flersgbnackto theghoulies being summoned to work for this guy

they sneak around in items liker that levekl in Toy Story on Sega Genesis

Main guy sez he suspectsd somewthing as the guards are4 gone and she sezthe museum gurl is lying and they go out

the cops take photoes with like an 1800s camera of graffiti and she sezif he dont tell her wghats up, hes off the case

he sez the graffiti is an ancient language from a dead book and  hes sent home but the ghoulies are in his car

only i mean once my dad said he ssaw an add for a movie weithj a monster comming outta the toilet, but he called it the GOONIES as he's bad with names


so maiun guy calls the hospital to cheeck on a patiant but is told to call back

turns out the nuts have taken over the asslyum and tied up the guards but when a call comes in for napoleon, 1 guy identifies as napoleon and its for him

main guy goes in a convience store and the owner fires at him until he tell em hes a cop

he goes out and the cops stoop him and it tierns out i wasnt looking abnd he shot at his own car

wait, a sghotgun in his car went off, i think cuz of thge goonies

the glhoulies are going around on the roof and main guy froves off, ohg anbd his candya55 partner sees blonde in leather fort a sec but when he looks back, its an add on the wall


meabnwhile main guy hashis necklace looking in the mirror and the lkights do dark and he looks psychoi foir a bit

his gf wonders whats up with him and wants him to stop drinking and sez hes not as fun as he was b4

she wants to b0ne buty he falls asleepoand she takes his necklaceand tries it on

he sez kate and she gets p-ssed he sed anothe rgiurls name and goes out]

then we see a guy with a staff and puppet ghoulies going around and getting zapped in the staf by lightning

some chick in a car usesd a car phone while driving and sez shes looking for something and thern another call sez groaning sounds

a voice tells her stuff to tempt her to his side and laughs evil and her car speeds up and bumps into other cars

eventually ity plows into a thing and blows in a fireball

meanwhile the ghoulies are going around and see a h0-0ker being nugged at knifgepoint and they naIL THE MUGGER WITH A METAL THIUNG


btw this is in soviert calfornisa of new sodom l a 

later main guy wakes up and his gf is wthere and hes in bed now instead of the chairm he was in

he gets a call about the warehouse ropbbery and need to meet him in 20 mins but puts it off tio b0ne his girl

she dont wanna b0ne unless he pays her and i think shes a h00ker

phone calls him and sez to meet him and its his candy a66 partnet but he's doing it for the blonde leather chick

he goes out and the gouliessneak in a building and see they need keys to get in this place and beat out a janitopr to get em

main guy gets to the warehouse and sees candya55 handcuffedx i mean tied to this wall and sees blonde leather chick who was in the nuthouse but got out by icing a guy

shes b--chy cuz he didnt see her and she previously tried to ice him, but sdhe was his ex hg i mean gf

she tells candya55 to ice main guy and smooches him main guy on the mouth

main guy fights candya55 whos now bada55 and they fight but candya55 gets a gun

main guy is on the pentagram and light comes on him and he fires ki blasts out his hands like dbz and erases cadnya66

vtw thgis is in propewr full screen and has good color

so the ghoulies are in this aparrtnmt and looking at polaypen but this lether chick comes in and i think thios is the main guys polace

the ghoulies hide uinder tghe bewd and look like goblins fropm troll 02

they find cop stuff anmd like thre taste of mace andf when 1 jumps, lwather chic findas em and rhey mace her and ruin

she goewws after em, in leather heels, and in the hospital, bl;onde cop sees main guy about his injuiries

he's kinda f'd and need a catherter and he dontwant it

later hes driving wqitrh blonde cop and tyalks about leather bl;onde and his candya55 partner going bada55 and the museum chick's car foubnd burned but no one was in it

at night, lewarther chick finds a hobo and sacrifices him inthe pentagram to summon Faust from urotsukidoji

its the daemon cloak guyand hjes fading and needs the jerwel but she gewtsa a fonzie guy to bow for him at force and he deviolves into a daemon and sez where the jewel is

if she fails him again she's f'd

so blonde cop brings main guy back to his place and its busted up and then we see some h00kers anfd 1 ghets into a car

ghoulies come by and think its a contest ort a place to get a ride and go in a pick up truck or w.e as a h000ke tal;ks wityh its owner and no one notices em

later blonde cop is in main guysd place and hus gf comes byand thery bicker but get over it

gf is gonna gibe him his nacjklace she forgot she had and gf goes on aBOUT how shes better at b0ning him

gf goes to use a payphonr and is cauight by leather blondewho syummons the faust in the alley

faust sez to sacrifice her at the alter and they go off

blonde cop seez her taking gf and main guy wakes up and goes out

blonde aims hert gun at him through the window to msake him bring her and he revealsd thery are going to the nut house to find the leather blonde

a truck goes by and a used c0md0m falls on cop blonde

main guy sez he and leather blonde were into black arts and b0ning, which are connected, but he stopperd and she didnt

when she tried to ice him, he locked her up and now she wants to make faust rteal as he's connected to faust and they look alike

also the jewel is what something soimething

mAIN GUY STOPDS to let her casll for back up but he drives off

shje finbbds the truck the ghouloies are in ands commondeers it

You ever walking around the schoolyard in Grade School and find these weird things you don't know wjhhat they are, then years later you think back to it, and realize, they were C0ND0MS!!!

Who's B0NING in the School Yard?! And they leave USED C0NDOMS there! What if some kids EAT THEM?! They'll get AIDS!!!

so at the nut house the inmates shock their brians with the clear paddles and leather chick has an altrer for tribute and gf is on it

is this gonna be luike tim burtons batman where the maion guy has to fight through the goonsa to get to save the gf?

so he walks slow through the emnpty place and findsa a BLIONDE IN A red dress with a big guy who fights him

his punches do jack sh-t and he kicks him in thr man parts and uses a LAMP TO BEAT HIM OUT


she weants him to go to h-ll so faust can be free and him to make the ritual and return to the darkness

why not just say a prayer?

blonde cop gets to the nut hosue and the crazues come for her so she beats em out, which is a HATE CRIME agiabnst a PROTECTYED CLASS as they are DIFFERENT;LY ABLED

so da ghghoulies come by and they are like the flies in that racing stripes movied with the zebra in a hourse a55 race

so faust sweaps places with main guy and faust gets aknife to sacrifice the gf

blonde cop comes by and has a gun and thinks fause is main guy

faust ghoes up to hger to sacrifice her but the ghoulies get the jewel and give it to blonde cop who fires ki blasts out of it in leather blondes womb

leather blond turns into a worm hgole and ghoulioes return to h e double england in it

she blasts fdaust mand the worm hole opens and candya55 partnet and main guy escape the hole

main guy kisses blonde cop and candya55 cop frees gf who is into him

main guy and blonded cop comes out and is implied shes gonna b0ne him while using handcuffs

then the gohoules are still here and say "come for the sequel gohulies 4 part 2

they jump in the worm hole after finding the jeweel and the credits wroll to good music

the end

that was fun

why am i watching this?

cuz its entertyaining!~

its got nice 90s effects and style and heart and coolness

its cheesy but has value

its not awful and for a direct to video sequel, its likabvle

its a jolly kittle 90s movie that has some entertainment

yeah its silly, but its not trying to be gone with the winfd or birth of a nation

glad i saw this, this one was good.

For Ghoulies 4 part 2 I mean Ghoulies 5 I want the faust guy to hasve fusaed with the leather blondde and become a hermaphrodite darmon and thgeir combined powers beark em out. They turn california into a h-ll hole of lust and crime and daemon worship (well, worse than usual) and its up to the cops from the 11st miovie to fight through the daemons in sovioet l a and get to the h-ll gate the hermaphrodite got out of to reverse the flow and suck trhe evil back into the hole in californiuas a55! also the ghoulies are helping them and giving them holy items they collected to boost power and fight the evil. Its also a 64 bit DS and PSP game where you play as the guy and somewtimes the girl and go through a metroidvania/Mega Man ZERO/ZX world of califortnia as some f'd up contra/la blue girl daem,on flesh world and lervel up ands fight bosses based on historicval figures who went to h-ll.

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