Monday, April 25, 2022

Thunder In The Sun Review

 Note: I spell like the Thunder Catsa

Thunder In The Sun

This is my review on Men Behind The Sun I mean tHunder In The Sun from 1959 (70 years b4 the 2nd Robotexch War)

Its directed by by Russell Rouse who did soime westerts or w/. i never saw

It stars Susan Hayward from I Want To Live, Demetrius and the Gladiators, The Snows of Kilimanjaro, David and Bathsheba and The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse, Blanche Yurka from A Tale Of 2 Cities and The Southerner, Fortunio Bonanova from Citizen Kane, Double Indemnity, Adventures of Don Juan and The Moon Is Blue, Albert Carrier from thew 80s Scarface and the 60s Batman and Cleopatra Jones, Jon Hall from the 30s Mutiny on the Bounty, Veda Ann Borg from Mildred Pierce/The Alsamo, and a buncha 1900s guys i never heard of

i never saw this but its giviunb on gruit and is 81 mins so they are gonna add like 40 mins of adds to reach 2 hours

So after logo it sez in text after napoleons wars, the basks came from soviet france to Ameriuca to devolve the proptoculture in soviet california

it even sz they are lusty, probanly for butts

then 1 guy comes out and sstarts makking daemon sounds and these frenchies on wagons chant in high pitched screams to communicate

then credits and title to the song about the tityle and holy f-=-k this has erich von strohiem as a 2nd assistant directer

that guys one of the best! look at greed frim 24!

so the basks are living inthe wild and teacvhing their kids how to speak english instead of devolved french but some frenchies dont like it

So in America: the ones of french ancestry evolved past their frenchness and became happy jolly Cajuns who are friendly and positive

yet in canada the frenchies were allowed to keep their protoculture which left them to devolve worse than Real frenchies in france and are now a bunch of malcontent, whiny, unbalanced, b==chy, evolutionarily challenged c=ck suckers who just sh=t on everything,

It seems that frenchness is a blight, as is their language and culture

so this chick whips at a big blak horse and the frenchies have wine plants vines to grow in soviet caifornia to give people something to kill them slowly with alcohol that is scientiffically a poison in how it malreacts to the body

so 1 frenchie goes to town to tak to an american WOMAN ABOUT SOMEONE SOBERING UP


SALOON GIRL  is with main guy wjho got drink and f'd up the place and sez the frenchie came every day for him and its thursday

main guy sees a h--ker who sez stuff about last night wich is as close to b0ning the 50s can get as tthey had class

nowadays we'd see him in bed with her and a bunch of used c0nd0ms laying around

so main guy comes out and is surprized at his damage to the salloon and frenchie wants him to bring his group to calefiona

he sez they dont got enuff wagons but spent the money frenchiew gave him on a bender amnd consents

salloon owner sez: with him theres 2 kinds of women; living and dead

so i assume hes noth bio and naecro seuxal and is ok with non living people as partners

how progressive and open minded

so then we see a frenchie dance on his high heels on a barrel and do some ninja dance moves, which proves that Whites CAN dance

just look at eastern europe with their sh-t

main chickplayed by susan does sdome gypsy like dance that has little movement and main guy watches and probably gets a b0ner

then 1 cowboy grabs the ine plant and the frenchies spazz out and attack him

as plant rights are human rights

the coowboy gets p-ssed and draws his gun but main guy caps him, then finishes him after a bit

main chick sez the vines are for grapes to make wine and they wanna plant em in california as they didn;'t invenmt crack and smack yet

also she has a husband, who i assume is gonna get it sio main guy can b0ne her

oh anmd this is in the 1840s or 50s

so the next day main guy goes on and a frenchie woprros about indians comming for his kids

well, we did see slumdog millionare where they spoon out the kids eyes

the frenchies gottta keep fire burning for their ancestors spirits as they are into daemon worship or w/e

eventually theyfinally get moving and i notive thety have 7 wwagons, so they can combine them into a megazord

wtf we're like half an hour in?! THAT ELT LIKE NOTHING!

so they go across the wildlands of America but dont ruin into Sasquatch or other daemons and at night main guy and frenchies try each others b00zes

main guy hears that the baskk promice their grade schoolers in marriage but ONLY marryu em at 18 and TOTALLY never b4 that

i mean its not like frenchies are el deviento!

aint that right maRQUIS DE SADE AND TRUDEAU?

later he teaches the frenchies about americas best item; the gun!\

shoot to kill b4 it kills you

nowadfays they'd make that look bad or have counter points that dont wqork in REAL life butr arre framed to work here

so they go on andmaiin guy talks to main frenchie about how his woman bit it and maiin chick was promised to his brother

then he makes f--king chimp sounds to communicate withguys far away and they stop for the night

maain chicj is swimming, probably nude, but main guy watrches and she sees him break a mirror

he tries to make out with her but she dont consent and she knees him in the man thing

imafguine if anna kicked ytuma in the parts in yugioh zexal?

ohhh, my zubaba b-lls!

Ohhh my dododo d-ng!

Ohhh my gogogo gon-ds!

shhe goes to main frencghie and he comfortsa her and then they continue, their jhourney, to the west

its said they can get there in 2 months annd 1 frenchie woman seems tio be eeither a man or hermaphrodite

one time I was playing Samurai Shodown and faced a woman in france and said; oh no, a french woman! the most masculine of aKLLL FRENCHIES!

later I told my french canadian friend and he's like; haaa, its true!

she talks with a guy about how main chick is promised to him

later at nighht main guy ggrabs main chick and doont b0ne her but walks and talks with him andshe sez she chooses her devolved protroculture over anything annd he smoocches her as she cr-ppily resiists but submits

this would not be made today

this frenchieoh its main frenchie, uses a long gun, as the frenchies have nothing long for them, and capsa a guy

he saw something moving and shot 1st, and it was the frenchioe main chick was to marry

so they throw him in a holew in the earths a55 and have a ceremony

btw, as Florida is America's b0ner, that means America is a Right Facing Nation, as the b0ndr is on the front

So California iss on the other side and would be Americas a55

so main frenchie wishes it was him in h-ll instead of the bf and main chick sez if main guy touches her she'd ice him

yeah some b--chy frenchie can TOATALLY take an Alpha Male American

also she coulsddnt stop him from making out with her

so the frenchies wanna quit, or rather, surrender, but main chick tells em to go onand they speak french w/o subs  like its srteven speilbergs west side story

tthe hermaphrodite sez their custom is to give the woman to her next of kin and main frenchie will marry maiin frenchie in soviet california

hermaphrodite offeras main guy a glass of wine to drnk to their thing, but he dumps it on the ground as wine is deadly

imaGINE if she offered him a line of blow or a needle of smack?

so they go on to mt doom to throw the ring in and at night main guy goes to see main chick and offers her freedom ofver being french

but main frenchie comes byand has  him at gunpoint and main guy goes

they go acrosss a wasteland and theres no more water so he sez to ration

but they wanna use the wwater on the plants as planbt lives matter

so like Moses did, they crosss the desert and its a 1 hour in with adds

1 wagon breaks and they wanna divide the items among the others but maiin guy knows the horses can't take it abnd sez to ditch some cr-p

main frenchie fights him cuz frenxhies are pretty unbalanced

i notice all the attacks are clearly missing

so main guy wins cuz hes not french and tells em to cllear out their cr-p from their wagons

later a horrse bites it, waiitm, its just f'd and main guy puts a bullet in it

shge wants to get water was the mountains but he sez its indsiancountry and sjhe dont care

main guy tries to get rid of the plants but the frenchies take his guns after she has him at gunpoint

so thery goo oof and find water and jump their bodies in there despite being french and not bathing

at night main guy is being guarded by  frenchies under orders of main chiuck and he sez he gives his word as a sioldier under general washington, who they dont knowe of, but believe him

the frenchjies go to sleep and oh yeah,, this fiolm is in proper fullscreen wityh colors

so the guys go on the next day annd theiir h-llfire pot they kept burning starts a wildfire that torches the area

main guy is going off but wwarns erm of it anbdguides them to the river

imagine if this was made today it would have emn outrunning cgi flames like in the day after tomorrow how they ran from the cold air as the walls froze over

the plants wagon falls over and main frenchie and main chick try tro save em by risking their lives fort f--king plants

so main chiuck is trapped in a h-llfire and main guy goes back and saves her as her dress burns

he throws her in the water, giving her a bath for once, and he is p-ssed at her for trying to offer herself for a sacrifice for plants

so after regrouping and main chick piuts out their fire pot and hermaphrodite sez "this is sacvrilige" as i guess the fire is their frenchie god

but maiin chick sez its ok to stop some thingsd

theres a subplot of a geezer frenchjie saying The instead of Zee

main guy asnd chick grow closer like rick and lisa in robottech but then they notice the indians doing smoke signalls

to be fair, the frenchies came on their land and tporched the place

main guy sez to get out and if theres an attack; circle the weagons

so the indians have a trap at the pass and they gotta ditch the wagons andget out in horses

but frenchies decidde to attack the indians in the mountains like with the Italian Stalliuan Napolian

main guy sez if they losae the indians get their women and chilsdren, like ants taking others coloniees larva and using it as their workkers

btw, why not try a diplomatic attempt?

talk instead of chopping em up?

explain the situation and use logic?

nah the french dont have logic, they just spazz out wghen someone "wrongs" them

so they prepare for this battle and maiin guy sez for main chick to go on w//o him and she smooches him and consents to being huis womaN

BUT MAIN FRENCHIE SEEZ and f u caps lock, go get injected with monbkey sppurm

so the man anmd frenchies go off to fight the indians and the remainuing frenchies are getting ready with artificial peopple, or jinzo ningen as decoys on the wagons

1 chixk is pooping oit a frenchie baby, who assuming he made it trto his 90s, would have diied of old age in ww2

main frenchie uses a lacross scoop to throw rocks to brain damage the enemy indian snipers

the frenchies use hand signs like ninja to plan moves

i assume main frenchue will bite it abnd main guy will get the girl

the indians come closer and tthe wwagons go on and main frenchjie mmaskes his monkey sounds whgiuch freaks out ther indians and they prance around as indians fire at en with wood link arrows

the frenchies use guns and takke em out but 1 frenchie gets arrowed in da back bvy an indian

they battle on and ddespite not knowing the area, the frenchies do well as their unexpected french kung fu is an element of surprise

1 guy shanks an indian and spooks their horses off and 1 frenchie gets speared through to as tree

those are some very european looking indians

etf 1 guy is leaping around like the hulk on a ttrampoline

the indians attack the wagons but main guy jumps him and takes him off

1 frenchie gets it in the intestine and its main frenchie and after the bsattle, maiin guy and him talk about how main frenchie wwads the bravest

bravest frenche? like tallest midghet?

sso the frenchies com,e basck with their wounded and the frenchie woman cry for their dead

mauiin chick sez its her fault as she went here annd spazzes oiut and attacks the plants

main guy sez they did it for the dream and to honor their ritual sacrifice by finishjjing it

main guy; cxome hewre, i'll sghhow you something

me; is it his weener?

he shows her the great vally wherethey can grow their demon plants and practice their rituals

oity was riight there and they spent all the time and they speent all that time slaughtering each other for notyhing

wtf maiin frenchie is still alive and i got the characters wrong wghen the got got it

so main chick and main guy hug andhe carries her in his arms to the woods and the wagoons  goo oon

the end

well, that was actually kinda good

i knew nothig of thosse frenchies butthis was a nice 1800s story

no lovve scenes or nude scenes and it has a good adventure story

good jjourney to the west and it shows how people did things

yeah i dumped on those devolved frogs a lot, but i don't hate em

yeah theres bad ones, a lot actually, but not all are evil

like how most naecroes don't kill people to b0ne the body

its got decent acting and nice film work and erich von stroheim did well as usual

glad i saw it

For Thunder In The Sun 2 I want main guy and the frenchies to be living in california and have kids but the h-llhole in california where the animals fear going has styrange occurances and theres sightings of abominations and strange creatures around. eventually they have to battle them and its  an epic lord of the rinbgs thing of humans with holy weapons vs weird la blue girl monsters. Its also an 8 bit srpg on sega master system, game gear nes, game gear i mean boy, tg16, atari 7800 and lynx where you go around with 1800s frenchies on a grid and battle and gain exp and level up like Shining Force

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