note; i spell like a country star
I Swaw The Light
This is my review on I Saw The Light from the distant future year of 2015
i never saw this b4 but its a biopic on hanmk wuillioms who was loved by gg alin
it stars Tom Hiddleston from War Horse and The Avengers and Kong: Skull Island, Cherry Jones from Erin Borckavich, back door Bradley Whitford from Thwe West wing, Adventures in Babysitting, RoboCop 3, Philadelphia Billy Madison, Kate & Leopold, The Cabin In The woods and 1 ep of SVU, Wrenn Schmidt from 1 ep of law and order, David Krumholtz from Addams Family Values, The Santa Clause, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Santa Clause 2, Josh Pais from the 90s TMNT 1, Scream 3, Phone Booth and a few eps of SVU, Jayson Warner Smith from Drop Dead Diva, nd some teens born in the 90s i never heard of
its directal by Marc Abraham who's usually a produicer
i nveer saw this b4 buyt my dad likes hank wiliams 01 and hanks grandkid hank willionas 3 hated it, but another relateive liked it
so after some credits ands title we get a cowboy singing a depressing song as credits go by
then its december in 1944 and raining like its soviet england but in the freelands of the confedetracy
this couple is gonna get divorced, wait, they were divorced and bnow are getting marrid by a gov gun instaed of a church
why not have a barmitzvah at a comic shop and read x men instead of the Temple and Torah?
then we get the main guy singing a song in a redneck bar and eventually a fight breaks out and mr hankey gets attcked
So his mommy he lives with dont feel good about him being a screw up and drives him around and b-0-ches at him over his woman being b--chy or somwthing
so hank hill goes to his band and is hammered and wait its a recording thing asnd his woman isnt with him
the manager is [p-ssed at him being a screw up and has em go live on the radio and he sez its his last program there on air
later hes reading his kid a comic book and his woman makes food and gets p-ssed that she didnt get to sing with him on thre air
later he writes a song and its based on a poem and prayer and this chick asks him to qrite her a poem bbut hanks mom sends her away
hank has a few more shows on contract and then he goes down to go on the opree but is turned down as he's 23 and dont have an appointment
but hes sent to some guy to test his mightand we get him getting a contract with a music exectutive and later he sez in a car ride that hes going my hiram after a Bible Historical Figure
later he's in bed with his woman but they aint naked and he suggests b0ning but his back is f=-=king out
then its the distant year of 1947 and he's singinga good redneck song and then he moves into a new home
so then he goes back too the station and does his radio thing with his band and lets his woman sing but the radio guys think shes cr=ppy
so these kinda biopics are not so bad to do as they just gottA have a few scenes between songs being reperformed
like an abridged series with fight scens being mini amvs
so he defends his woman and she hears and realizes shes cr-p and sez hank dont support her
she sez hes into drinking and b0ning other chix and dont care about how she buys fur coats and walks off
then we see the t-ts of a chick in his womans fur coat and its not his womana dn they kiss
so its 1948 and i thin we're free from the evil trueman and hank is all f'd out over drinkjing and his marriage cr-p
he gets a letter saying both he and woman wanna be boss but she wont submit to him and hes not a beta male so they split
after he has some spazz atttacks in a blanket for rehab or w/e, he goers out and meets with his homie
later he reads writings of his woman outing his dirtyy laundry and accusing him of weasting money and beign a drunk
he gets money from this bank thing and later is living with the dark haired b00bs in fur chick and when talking on the phone, he has to prove himnself with a band off
wait, its not the fur b00bs its the mom and she sh-ts on the wife
so he meets his wife and kid and wants her to come with him and has sent him im mean her money
she goes on about how they split and wants an official divorce and he wants anothe rttry to fix their marriage
she wants him to quit drinking and he sez he can try and they'll sing together
they smooch then we get what i think may be actual footage from the thingas its in fullscreen and they live in a trailer thats sometimes in a backyard
btw the main fim is widescreen and has black bars but is in color but its a hazy colro
then we find out that hanky got his woman pregggers and wants to be a real dad to him ubnlike his dad who wasn't there otr w/e
so hankey wants to do this song he didnt writge but his band sez its depressing and emo and gay, but he gets a shot
so later hes at a restrauant and spooning ketchup on his burger and finds his emo song got to the top of the charts
he wants to go to da opree cuz of it and then heards his womnan pood out their kid and its a boy!
the boy is like 10 lbs which might have been a tough delivery, but i've been copnstipated b4 so i know what thats like
then we see hank holding his kid whos small and i thought he was 10 lbs and he sings the song i saw the light to him
he rubns the baby';s face and its color comes off and he rubs more and finds out the baby is actually really really black!
jk thats maury!
so he chats with is woman about someone shanking a guy and hank staying straight from crime
so in 1949 he goes to the opree and preforms his emo song and its loved
then we getta universal newsreel with stuff of flying sauser sightings and how hankrey is touring amy bases in Germany
it must be connected to plan 9 from outer space
then we get ertha kitt singing santya baby as the wimmilamsd fam has a xmas party and hes in the garage wait, ioopening aand clkosing the garage and is drunk or high
how easily amused
imagine if he could see Sehga Genesis!
Altered Beast would blow his mind
then we get an intervuiew un fullzcreen and b/w of a mgm music guy ssaying how hank did songs on another name that s-cked and hanks woman was on em and also s-cked
so later mrs hankm calls man harm at his hotel and hes singing in da shower and dont hear her
later hank is being druiven and is on pills so i guess hes a junkie now, then snorts something
did they have nose candy in the 40s?
so then its 1950 and the cops come by with a high rank guy wjo wants hank to perform but his homie sez hanks toio sick
so he goes to this oytdoor show and theres a lot of 40s faMILIES AND he comes on all druink or high
so he goes on a spoken word monologue in rhyme like hes dolemite
later hanks homie talks with hank at night in the car and then we see hank viusiting his woman in the hospital
she's malcontent that hes never around and blames all her problems on him like shes a feminist or w/e
then its 1951 and hankey comes on this music thing arena annd introduces his fam, then sings his song about good looking cooking
then its later in 51 and hank sings a smoke add and gets the number of smokes in the pacxk wrong
he gives an interview and sez everyone has some datkness and he shows people it so they dont gotta take itr home
interviewer sez theres rumors that hank has booze issues and hank sez this mnedia guyis into rumors and not the truyth and walks out
seems the mesdia being evil was true in the past too
later he goers hunting with his chum and hank falls from his devolved back
in the hospital they give him morfein and the dr sez he has spina bifita and they can operate to treat it
then we see the surgery with showing them openiung his back,m exposing his spine and cutting arounfd it with blood squirting out
jk really it skips it and he's bummed his woman wont stay with him, even though he left her for longer
they accuse each other of b0ning other people like its f--kin springer and hank jr heard
so the music guys want him to have a stand in but he wants to admit he's recoving from medical issues, but they dont wanna say it
is this a eugenics/evolution thing where they make people with bad dna look less fit to breed and less human?
in california they werre sterilizing people well into the 60s for being "unfit to breed"
so hank records a message saying hes had bacvk surgery and send it to the opree
later his woman comes back and hes gone, then she hears a gunshotr
she finds him with his head opened up and blod everywhere
jk hes just firing his gunat the backyard and shoots the houseplant as hes goinbg mental
she sez she's done with him and then this mgm guysez hank moved in with ray rioce, who i assume is connecter to fisher price
then its a party and eveeryones smoking and drinking, which it totally different tan teens today into chronic and b0ning
hank reads accusations from mrs hasnk saying he made a lot of money but he deed naaaat heet her, its bool sh-t, he deeds naaaaat
so hank has some blonde and has a farm or ranch or something and he wishes he was back b4 getting famous
then its soviet 1952 and he goos too mgm and meets the mgm guy and he might getta part inna movie
the mhm guy wants to see hankie w/o his hat as hes got a fetish and/or wanrts to work his way to his ding d0ng
later his mommy comforts him and sez hes too good for his woman and hew goes out and sings a soing about wanting his woman to ove him
while singing he sees a cavewman looking woman but not in the animal skin bikini anmd aftewr da show comes onto her
this guy is there and hank asks her male friend if hes gonna marry her and friend sez no
hank sez he might and laster meets da parents and she has a few kids frim a past mariage at 16, wgich today is the same as 6
so they go back to hanks place and blondde is there and wants hank and sez he had a lot of chicks
cavewoman, named billy like the midnight express guy, leaves hankie
later jjimmy comes by and is p-ssed thathank didnt go to the opree evenn though he had a commitment
hank sez its a lot and jimmy sez hank has a duuty to help people wiutrh his music
later its later in 52 and jimmy lets hank go and hank is bummed
he gets his gun, puts it in his mouth and sez"i'll, see, you, all, in, h-ll," then blows his head open like in species 2 but more cg
jk really he calls billy and invites her to do stuff and later she's barfing un this cabin
wait its the blonde and shes pregnant
and he IS da father!
black guys: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
so they smoke and drtink even though shes got a baby inn the oven and its gonnas damage the kid
shhe wants to get married and wyf her name is biully jean like the michael jackson song
wow this is all done in 1 long take for the whole scene
so mgm guy sez he married billy and left boddy (oh, itsd not billy jean, its bobby jean) and he tried to get hankie new work
then this special dr comes to help hankie with his devolution or w/e
the dr iis cr-ppy and used bad drugs instead of pressure points and natural remedies
didsnt this happen to michael jackson?
also; his women are billy and bobby
what next? bunny? boney? booty?
so hank sings the song about cheeting heart, which sounds like a springer care bear
later habnk jr ghets a call from habnk dr and hank jr has a cho cjho train
hannk wants his son to ssee him and come by but 1st woman sez no
so hanks coughing and sees hes got a list of dates to play
later hes being drivewn by his billy as unlike many wrd world countrues, women can drive in 1950s America
they arte going to his mommy and hank sez sorry for everything
mgm sez he had 2 shows to play and got a homies son to ddrive him and hes smoking and coughing
but any comnnection between those 2 is MISINFORMATION, and CONSPIRACY and PARANOIA! as the scientists say tobacco is safe and healthy!
he sez bye to his woman and goes off and gives 1 more show
wait, at the showe a guy sez hank bit it in his car on the way there
poochie died on the way to his home planet
then the guys on the area sing I Saw The Light to the people there
tthen we get footage of his thing and a narrator sez he died at 29 of heart damage and did like 36 songs in 6 years
i blame the booze, like errol flynn
also billy jean lived decades after him and well into the 21st century
they could have had 60 years together!
but booze and smokes f'd him dead!
then credits to hank music
that was pretty good
nice soolid biopic of a man who made a mark
good style and feel
nice actiong andwrtiting
it had his actrual music
wtf threy rhyme jambalaya witn bayou?!
thats not how english worrks!
put yoh hanz inn da ei ya, if yu uh troo pla ya!
but i knew litt;le of hankie and this was not bad to me
glad i saw it
hANK wILLIAMs The Movie was pretty good
For I Saw The Lighjt 2 I want it to be about his kid with the blonde growing up and findinfg that not only was her dad hank aaron or w/e, but that he's descended from ancient bards who had a talent for music that let him connect witrh people, So she goes on a quest with the bards around today which have relocated to Alaska and traiuns with them but fight a tribe of bears that are descended by daemons who want to prevent her finishing her training and gaining the ability to use music to negate enemies. Also itsa an 8 bit RPG on Nes, Game Boy, Sega Master System, Gamer Gear, TG`16, Atyari 7800 and Lynx where you play ass her and use music as magic spells, kinda like the Game Gear Lunar Gam,e.