Friday, April 15, 2022

The Vampire Bat Review

note; i spell el vampire-oh taro

The Vampire Bat

This is my review on ther vampire bat from the distant future year of 1933(100 years before the 3rd Robotech War)

Its directal b Frank R. Strayer who did nothing i've seen but seems to like blondes

it stars Lionel Atwill from Doctor X, Captain Blood and Son of Frasnkenstien, Fay Wray from The Affairs of Cellini, Black Moon, King Kong, Doctor X,The Most Dangerous Game and the 20s Ben Hur, Melvyn Douglas from Captains Courageous and The Old Dark Gouse, Maude Eburne from The Bat Whispers, George E. Stone from The Robe, Dwight Frye from Dracula, Frankenstein, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankensrtien, The Son Of Monte Cristo and The Man in the Iron Mask, Robert Frazer from Whiute Zombie and Black Dragons, Lionel Belmore NOT berrymore from the 20s oliver twist, The Sea Hawk, The Blackbird, Bardelys the Magnificent, The 20s The King of Kings, Frankenstein, The Adventures of Robin Hood, Son of Frankenstein and The Hunchback of Notredame, William V. Mong from Treasure sland in da 30s and Noah's Ark, Paul Weigel from The Grwat Dictator and The Black Cat, William J. Humphrey from The Unholy Three, Carl Stockdale from Intolerance, the 20sam Oliver Twist, Mr Smith Goes To Washington, Marie Antoinette and Bardelys the Magnificent Paul Panzer from Casablanca and a few 1800s homies I never saw in anything

I never saw this b4 but its public doamins and from the guys who did Dr X and uses stuff from the Universal horror like frankenstien and the old dark house

as its from the start of the 30s, the production code wasnt used as hard so they got away weith cr-p you wouldnt see in the later 3p0s or 40s or 50s or some of the 60s

so aftwer titlae and credits, which are in proper fullscreen and b/w, we get this spooky placer with ruibber bats that tgook effort to do in the 30s as there was no cg

a guy goes through the possible town possible buiilding and theres a wolf houl

a chick screams and at the place of the burgermeister sez theres vampires around to his crew as theres bats and 1 guy serz its b-llcr-p

also the town archives say there was vampirism in the past in 1643 and 12 skeptic thinks its all fake but the others know better

they talk of things vamps do like going through stone walls like in devilman and skeptic wants to find the hguman beinmd it

isnt this how candy man 1 started?

so they hear the wolf howel and doubter leabes andf mocks em saying "dont let the vampuirtes get you"

imagine if they played the clip from Cyber City OEDO 808 where Benten says "You wouldn't recognize a g-- ---n vampire if one jumped ip and bit you on the end of ur f---ing d--k!"

wait, vampires biting d0ng?! like that tom cruise movie where he turns brad pit?

then in some sxcience lab in a moms babement, is this chick doing nerd sh-tand i think doubter comes in and smooches her

he sez they think its a vampitre and the man/chick mock them, for their belif in the supernatural

doubter cant find a clue and a maid/slave comes in with food and coffee or something and doubter freaks her out with vampire talk but she denies belief in them

a dude comers by and akss to see the dr and chick sez hes out

then we see this dr treating a chick in bed and he looks kinda like the guy who was hannibal in the 10s tv show

some junkie lookin dude comes in and brings her flowers and when dir wants to open the windows trhe junkie gets nervous

he seems a bit mentally devolved and gets her soem garlic and dr sez she was attacked by a big a55 bat

it seems dwightr frye is doing his crazy dude thing from dracula and frankensrtien

so devolvo junkie goes out worried of the bat and the guard from the start of the moviue sez he saw it but didnt tell to abpid causing panic

devoldced dwight has a bat fetish and if this were made today, it would be his autism, and the guard who sdaw the bat worried of that b oy

so dwight devolved pets a bat and people are rtacist against him as they think hes weird and bats are bad, buty in REAL life, bats are good and eat bugs

dwights fam slave oir nruse or something closes the windows and dwight wanted em open b4 but i f;d up in saying it

dr talks with doubter and chickwho is fay wray but should be blonde, and later something wakcs the wait a lady and the town suspect its dwightouitside the coroner or w/e dwight comres by as the body is being looked at by dr and doubter

the body has 2 neck holes and itsa from an unknown animal but it might be a bat

dr suggests it might be a human who turned vam,pire from some furry thing of liking bats or w/.e and dwight gets closerand when he pulls off the blanket, he sees the body and spazzes out

guard tinkis dwight is gonna eat him and has a similar spazz out about the dwight

also he sed dwight was at the body';s place b4 but main ghuy doubter sez he was bringing her flowers

latewr its raining or somethign and chick is in the garden or w/e and talks with doubter and dr talks to the maid/slave about her worry of medical issues she might have

doubter tries to kills her but she has him kiss a fruit as his eyes were cloesd

maid comes by worreied about some cr-p i cant make out and douybter and chick go out and he quick kisses her mouth when shes not expectin it

also the dwight is lurking around and makes cat sounds to bring maid to the shrubs and she she's looking, he eats her food

she gets bit by a turtles and dwilght has accidentally cut himself as hes a spazz and whe she goes to get med kit, he puts all the fruit in his pockets

dr reads of vam,,pires and findfs they are the soul of a dead buy whos lingering, asnd goes around its grave

but i think it might be daemons/aliens/fallen angels/interdimensional abonminations

then the burgermeister comers by saying another chick bit it and was blood;ess and dwight is gone

the guiuys wanna stake dwight but main guy doubter wants to give him a fair trial

this shows how even the most awful accused should get a fair chance to proove themselfes, un,.ike the ussr and chi na and englandf and soviet canada where they just shut you down for accusations

maid comes back and trewats dwlgith but knows what the burgerer said and as shes nice to him, he gives her a bag

she fiats as i guess its full of smelly j-zz and as dwight goes to seem9ingly b0ne her, a dog come sby andf he leaves

she wakes up thinking the dog is the dwight and spoazzes out

imagine if thew dog started h-mping her?

later a firnfds of the chick who just bit it brings dr a Crucifix from the iced girl and 

dwight is on thre run a dtheres a lynch mob after him and he runs to bronson cave to get help from lord zedd and his evil rangers

the townsfolk find him and he dont wanna go with em as they're gonna cut him open and f his gut5s

so he spazzes out and jumps off a cliff and is on a ledge 50 feet down,m probably dead

so at night dr i think has some kinda spastic trance and sees this ither guy going after this chick in bed

as he spazzes out of his trance, the other guy comes out of it for a bit but once hes back in it, the othe rguy is too

other guy brings the chick to him and in this some kind of lab like in double dragoin neon, they have her hooked to a thing and her blood drained in a jar

i think dr is one of the guys but i could be wrong

so later maid comes by all comic and later dr talks with main guy about how he worries about thwe dwight

later maid goes to see some chick and finds her dead in bed and faints 

the other come runnign and main guy doubter sez they have the same 2 wounds and was dead for 45 mins and bloodless

the other guy who was looking for the dr b4 is there and said he was neasr but didnt see anytrhing

theres a Crucifix on the floor dr sez belonged to her and later, main guy goes to see chick who is looking after maid

he tells hert to keep her door locked and stay in and maid hears andf comes out aftert he leaves and gets b--chy

main guy and dr ta;lk over who might have done it and other guy is there

burgermeister comes in and says dwight bit it at 9 and in a cave 2 hours away

dr is looking f'd by this and main guy sez someone else bit it after that

aslso burgeress merideth sez they stakes the dwights hart and now regrets his actions

well if he sez sorry, then it should be ok

burger mc burger goes off to eat his gun or w/e and main guy ponders on why someone might be taking human blood

he don't get that the guy he's trying to solve the thing with nis the bad uy

kinda like in robotech ii the sentinels with edwards

dr gives him some poison pills saying it ill help him sleep

what is he? heath ledger?!

chicik comes out and sez goodnight and chick and dr go to bed, but not the same one, as that would imply b0ning

so main guy good too beed and dr mentally sends the other guy out and tells him to wait until hes in bed

main guy smokes in bed and puts it out beofre going to sleep and i think he mgiht have taken the pills

in bed the other guy comes up to him w/o sound like a 20s movie and kinda freaky and dr tells him to bring him to da lab

but chick comes in and sewss him talking to himslef andf figures out its him

later she confronts him and he sez hes making artificial life andsynthetic tissue

so he killed real livbing things to make 1 fake one?

they say he carved that spoon fromn an even bigger spoon

so then dr has her bound and gagged andn is using this sponge thing in a waTER TANK that i guess is his jinzo ningen

he takes off the bl;;anket to drain the main guys blood but its the other guy and in othwer guys clkoak is main guy witha  gun

well, thats it, movies over, hes got a gun on him

cap him and kiss the girl

but dr grabs the gun andf fights him as main guy is a dumba55 and let him get close

other guy comes to and gets the gun on dr and as main guy and chcik leave, the other guy ends dr for mind f--king him and eats the other bullet

maidf comes bnny and sez the dr needs to give her some item and goes off as main guy sez thats epsom salt

the end

That was pretty good

nice switch and bait from supernatuiral to sci fi

sorta like a reverse candyman

good acting and nice moments of silence and movement to creep

good twists

sorta like dr x but different enough

like tmnt and battletoads or biker mioce from mars or stone protectors

i enjoyed it and its a decenty film thats only liek a 1 hour and a bit

Oh and he didn't take the sleeping pills

For The Vampire Bat 2 I want the artificial life made by the dr to come to and starts mutatiung into some uunholy abomination that goes around through the town and eating people to gain more dna to mutate into a higher lkife forme, also its a 16 bit top down game like the ooze on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG1`6, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you play as the abomination and botta eat enough people to gain powers to access the next area

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