Tuesday, July 5, 2022

Seven Men From Now Review

 Note: I spell as bad as 7 grade schoolers!

Seven Men From Now

TYhis is my review on seven men from now from the distant future year(to the confederates) of 1956(50 years from i measn before transfortmers season 3 in america and some Robotech Comics)

its directed by Budd Boetticher who did The Rise and Fall of Legs Diamond

It stars randolph scott fromn Dynamite in 29/The Last of the Mohicans in 36/Jesse James/Abilene Town/Thunder Over the Plains/Captain Kidd, Gail Russell from Angel and the Badman, the sinful Lee Marvin from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/The Dirty Dozen/Death Hunt, Walter Reed and John Larch from How the West Was Won, Don 'Red' Barry from The Shakiest Gun in the West and The Swarm, Fred Graham from the 30s mutany on the bounty/romeo and juliette, Adventures of Don Juan/the 50s Angels in the Outfield/20,000 Leagues Under the Sea/Demetrius and the Gladiators, John Beradino from Them!/East of Eden, Chuck Roberson from Big Jake/Chisum/The Green Berets/McLintock!/Shock Corridor/How the West Was Won/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/The Alamo/Spartacus/The Searchers/The Lone Gun/Calamity Jane, Stuart Whitman from The Day the Earth Stood Still/Shock Treatment/Night of the Lepus, Pamela Duncan from Attack of the Crab Monsters, Cliff Lyons from the 200s Ben Hur and 30s Jesse James, Chet Brandenburg from The Adventures of Robin Hood, The Red Badge of Courage/Calamity Jane/20,000 Leagues Under the Sea/The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance/Judgment at Nuremberg, and a buncha 1800s duds i never saw b4

i never saw this but its on grit

after a logp, we get credits and a song of manliness aannd itrs in color and widescreen

wtf 7 men will die? oak island!

then theres a guy going through this h-llscape in the rain and stops by a cave with 2 guys inb it to take cover from the storm

he reveales his horse got it and he walked as his horse was eaten by indians

he sez hes from silver springs and there was someone iced ther, which makes the guys nervous and wanna leave

when main guy sez 2 guys did it, 1 of em pulls a gun and it cuuts away to 2 BIG BLACK HORSES all SOAKING WET and DRIPPING in the HARD rain

Then its day and he's riding out in the daylight with him on a horse and with a blonde horse like thsat mlp babe

wait, his horse is the blkonde

so he comes across these fam in a wagon in the mud and their horses are f'd out

so  main guy ties his horses on the wagon and helps pull em out

he tells em to clean the mud off the animals but i think it would be better to p-ss it off

wagonman invites main guy to come on their journey to the west and he does

btw trhis movie is 78 mins so its gonna have like 40 mins of adds

so wife sez they had all kinds of sh-t on the trip like broken wheels and she thanks him for helping them

so they're goiung to soviet california and wife is humming as she egts undressed and goes skinny dipping

so they ran outta money and he had to do odd jobs to make it and he revals he was in silver spings which disgruntles main guy

then they ho on and in this canyon path is lee marbin oswald

as the fam come out, these horsemen come by and its the army warning about an indian uprising and main guy says its cuz they are hungry

they military can't order the civilians but they advise the group to not go as they can't protect the area

main guy sez for them to take another route but husband dont weanna and is going on and they ride off together

a lot of this movie is them walking slkowly acxross trhe wasteland

eventually they find a relay station and main guy scopes it out

theres no water in the trough and in the base is a drunk who looks like an 1800s prospecxtor

drunk says the indians were there and all the guys in the area left, and nowe hes leaving too

then comes lee marvin oswald and his goon and he knows main guy

main guy tells fam to stay at the base for the night and husband seems suspect

lee sez he was not born in silver springs but moved there as a kid and says tyhis chick was iced in silver springs in a crime, the sherrfis woman

wife talks toi main guy about if he needs to talk with anyone of it but he sez no

main guy sez he was sherrif b4 but lost his jobn and his wife took it and got iced cuz of it

and he could have been deputy but was too prideful

lee marvin oswald comes out and sez the 7 killers took like 20 000 $and 2 were iced by him, and the rest might head for the border and get be rich

the only thing between lee marvin oswald and 20 000 $ is main guy and he might know who the other guys are

the next dfay these indians show up and main guy says HOLD IT and moves slow and gives em a horse to eat and they run off

they didnt fdo anything! just standing there looking!

so they move on and lee marvin oswald asks who a full woman like wife would settle for half a man like husband

if he's half a man, whats that make all the beta males online??

then some indians attacka nd main guy waks em and lee caps a guy coming to main guy

its implied he was one of the guys who iced the woman

as lees droog shovels sand on the corpse, lee ralks aboiut how he wants the wife, which there IS a commandment against!

so they go on and eventually its raining and lee comesd in the wagon for coffee from guard duty

he asks who husband got a woman like wife and wifer sez they fell in love

lee starts telling a soory about this chick who looked like uife and this good looking guy took this other guys woman who looked like wife

this disgreuntles main guywho makes lee stfu asndf lee goes outside where main guy slugs his a55 out and he and goon go on

so wife has a soft moment with main guy who looks like hes about to bite it and they go to bed, oh and she warns theres dangers up ahead

so thenwe have lee oswald marven go to a salloon and hang out with guys from silver springs and in 1 room is a bunch of 5kanks he was just b0ning

a guy hes talking to mentions the hold up in silver creek or w/e it was andmore guys come by

lee sez the guys they are waiting for aint comming andmain guy is comming for em

1 of the guys offers to pay for info on main ghuy and sez the gold is being carted over by the husband

in the main guys place, wife is nice to main guy and kisses him as he goes off and goes in this caNYON

guys wait its just goon, tries to j fk him buthe evadesand esacapes and snipewr goes after him

main guy hides under a ROCK and as sniper goes wait, theres several guys, well as 1 guys by he capss him

he takes out the other one and as he goes to get on his horse, it runs off and drags him

later the couple comes by and finds him by the horse and they aid him

imagine if the horse biuut off and ate his weener?

so husband wants to leave main guy to die and she sez he saved em and should getta dr

he sez he took a job that he didn't know what it was and they said he's get 500$ for it, and shows her the wells fargo box

main guy is ok now and tells himto throw it down and go off to some otrher place

he's gonna take the gold in and ice the bad guys and if he thought husband knew of the crime he'd ice him

so they go off but turn back to help him and then we see lee in the salloon with some 5kank

the wagon comes in and husbaND SEZ MNAIN guy took the gold and is out in a deep a55 canyon waiting for em


lee oslqes sez he wasnt half a man and the bads go to the place the main guy went

1 is snipered andthe others run and the more guys are iced, but its by lee marvin oswald

so then main guy goes out and sees lee marnin woseld who sez the other guys are dead cuz of him

as theres no way out of this w/o going through bim, andf the husband going to the sherriofs office aand getting it, she needs a man

then theyu draw and marvin gets sent to h e douyble ca;liforrnia

so he gets the thing ready to be sent back, the gold, and chick stays behind waiting for main guy after cancelling her trip

The End

That was quite good

Too bad the chick in here died of alcoholism a few years later

she was a kind soul

But i liked this

its clean and mild and tells a good story

its got good style and nice music and the acting is nice

its only like 80 mins and has god pacing and flow and don't drag

For Seven Men From Now 2 I want main guy from the 1st movie to be robbed of the gold by bandits and left for dead, having sensed something, the chick goes out and saves him and nurses him back to health, then he goes off to get back the gold, only to find it was a tribe of sasquatch who did it and wanted the gold for their daemon machines, and main guy abnd chick haveto fight em with shot guns! Also its a 16 bit run n gun game on Sega Genbesis, Snes, TG16 AtaRI jAGUASR AND gba where you platy as one or both of the heroes and chick is revealed t be a CRACKSHOT like Lilian Gish

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