Saturday, July 23, 2022

The Deerslayer And Chingachgook Review

 Note I spell Native European

The DeerslaYER and ChingaChgook

This is my review on The Deerslayer And Chingachgook tom the diustant future year (To Thomas Jefferson) of 1920

its directal by Arthur Wellin, who was born on Halloween, and directed the 1917 The Picture of Dorian Gray, the GHerman 1920 The Last of the Mohicans (which is the 2d half of this film but I alreadsy did the 90s version so I'll only do this), the 1922 Don Juan, and others I never saw

It starts Bela Lugosi from the 31 Dracula, Murders in the Rue Morgue, White Zombie, Island of Lost Souls, The Black Cat, The Return of Chandu, Mark of the Vampire, The Raven, the model for the daemon in Fantashia which rips off F W Murnau's Faust, The Wolf Man, Black Dragons, The Ghost of Frankenstein, The Body Snatcher, Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla and a bit of Plan 9 from Outer Space, and I know no other actors in this film

Its based on the book The Deerslayer by James Fenimore Cooper who did other ones that were made into movies and comics

I never saw this but may have seen the classics Illustrated comics in the 90s

So after a wall of text from The Boy Scouts Of America, before the scoutmasters sedced the boys, we get guys by a campfire and, oh its the boyscouts

they readtthe book The Deer Slayer and how he was raised by indians after his rens got it, and his best friend was the son of the cheif

its the duisatant future year (To Vlad The Impaler) of 1714 and in thew wilds of pre soviet new york and as its too long to read in a 1 hour, hes gonna tell it in his words

by a lake, the induians are camping and work with the frenchies in secret and are gonna drive ouit the english from a  fort

so they're thew bad guys? i mean can you be good if you team up with the maerquis de sade?

nerby, the deer slayer, who's natty bumpo in the other books, is gonna meet cheifs son whos gf was captured

he teams up with a rover called hurry harry and goers by the lake which is common terf foir indians to use and 1 guy named tom has 2 daughters and claims the land

and as harruyy wants to marry 1 of em , he agrees

the camp indians havecheiff jrs gf and she was caught by an indian in delaware

tthe kidnapper wants to marry the gf but she don't consent

the lake indians iced toms gf and took her daughters who they truicked intro thinking was their real dad, then burned his home, but deer slatyer helkped him make a castle in the lake

some indians come by ands deer slayer abnd harry escape in a boat but deer slayer don't want harry to j fk the indians from the water as its murder

harry thinks they are not human so its ok to kill em, like how the bad guys say about the Unborn

years ago, tom had a base made in da lake and now he plantrs traps and hopes to save his daughters

judy is a cheerful chick and i think b0nes a lot of guys and hetty is more simple

so judy finds the deer slayer abnd i think they fall in love and we see DS merting tom and they getta long

so the indians and frenchies are gonna attack and tom wants his kids sent to be safe and they go on a boat on the river to escape the indians

theres a brit base foert william thats the only sage place in the area and its lead by marilyn i mean william monroe

an indian tells em tom is sending his giorls to the base and we see the boat thing going by like its the Space Battleship Yasmato on its quuestyy

harry and tom wanna sneak into the lake indians cAMP  FOR RVENGE and they go off in a kuh noo

in the camp, wait, its near it, DS sez to tom to go back for his daughters but he dont listen

1 guy shanks an india guard but the guarrd spazzes out and screams and the camp goes nuts and catches tom and harry as tim sez to DS to look after his girls and getr back to the caste

after waiting for them to escape,, DS takes the ezxrtra kuh noo to the castkle, wait, i think from the castkle, i'm watching this on youtube and its zoomed in a bit and clips out a few words

this indian he calls mingo wants a canoue but DS sez no so the indian tries rto caop him and carjack his boats

but DS is too fast and caps him, but as he bites it, the indian sez DeerSlayer is a boy name and now he's Hawkeye like in M A S H

then thje french/indians attack the brit base cuz 1 guy was caught or something and its a smoke and muskets and cannon shots thing

i think the frenchies/indians won and DS tells the daughters the lake indians got their dad

he plans on saving him with his cheif jr and i think the brits leacve the brit base as they lost

general monrow is going to meet some guy allled warley on the way to the lake but the words say there;'s indian trecharey

as the brits go on, the indians attack and i think they b0ned em dead as it cut away

so DS, whjo imma call natty bumpo as thats his name, goes with the daughters to meet cheif jr and judy asks if natty has a gf but he loves nsature and the outdoors

so cheef jr comes by and natty sez he dont bad mouth chicjks as it might no be true,, or iot might be true and he might do harm

jusy goes off in a canoe and in the lake camp, we see a chick reading The Bible about being good to your enemies to em, whicxh would be "hate" nowadays as it makes it look like Our waysa are better than theirs

the lake campo guys cheef asks tom why he came to their campo and he sez their tribe iced the girls mom

the cheef has a guy called red fox, not the black comedian, take the girl back, wait, it was hetty wjjo went to the camp in da boat, not judy

1 chick has items including an elephant the indians think is a 2 tailed beast thats good luck

its got a 3rd tail if anatomically correct

wait, this is judy in the boat and 1 guy, i think natty thinks this can heklp em

redd foxx gets back hetty (da f kind of name is that?!) and natty sez deer slayer sends this item for exchange of the prisoners

hetty tells cheef jr that his gf has a meessage that in the high m,oon shew'd be near the White rock on the river bank

jusy asks why natty is going with cheef jre instead of being with chivks and he sez cheef jr is bis friend

nowadays they'd try to think deerslayer and Chingachgook are butt buddues as hge's not into this 1 chick he jest met and  likes helping his chuildhood friend

They say things like this about King David and Jonathan, Ed Elric and Roy Mustang, Rick Hunter and Roy Fokker, Huckleberry Fiunn and Jim, Jaden and Syrus in GX, Jack and Yusei in 5Ds, Yugi and Joey, Yugi and Kaiba, Yugi and The Other Yugi, and pretty much ANY time 2 people have the slightest thing in commoon

oh the chnick hetty read the Bible to was cheef jrs gf

so warley meets some brits i think ands sez the indians did their work well so now to get out b4tom anmd gis kids get iut

so the elwephant worked and the captivbes were freed and returned  anmd at whats clearly daytime with the light on the ake, cheef jr and natty go to save the gf

she jumps inb cheef jrs armsaND HE CARRYS HER IN A RUN, AS BELA LUGOSI IS BADA55 and natty fights em off but is caught letting cheef jr escape

so if natty don't bring back the gf, they'll scalp him but natty sez the kidnapperr is a liar and words dont work with em

tom gets a rifle and fires at guyts to j fk em but it dont work well and it hit a chick

the indiansd bring back the dead girl and thje cheef of ther lake camp hates Whitew men and sez its hypocritical they Call The LORD good but do evil

the cheef is gonna say he'd release natty but wont as its a trap, as that'll show the Whites you're the good guy; trewchery and deception!

so natty is released but has to send gf or return himself 3 houes b4 sun out

on the way back to the housweboat, they find the lake guys shoes in the water and its not been in lomg

i think the calls are comming from inside the house!

they czech the house boat and its full of indians and 1 guy is caught after saying its safe

the boat they traverl to the house boat pulls off and natty i think picks off 1 guy with his rifle like its the grassy gnoll and the caught guy falls in the water and swimS TO THE BOAT

tjhey ggo back to da boat house and finds a GUY SCALPED AND WAIT ITS tom and f u caps locvk! go suck an aids d0ng!

hes not dead yet and tells em hes not their dad and to check the chest and bites it

so they dunmp his body in the lake and judy reads a note in handwriting thats hard to read , esp in cr-ppy youtube vid quality

wiklipedia sez in the book her mom was an aristocrat and marrioed floating tom aftershe was b0ning a guy but broke up and needed to cover the pregnancy

natty is falling for judy and cheef jr sez be true to ur heart like its the GOOD version of Mulan from the 90s

so its 3 hours b4 sun down and netty is going back as hes an honest man but the people think hes a dumba55 for it

harry offers to marry judy and she sez no as she is promised to marry warley

so harry is going to the brit base for help and becasue natty took out a guy at the saving of gf, he has to marry the guys woman, cuz that'll be a good mnarriage, the killer of her last husband

also the lake cheef wants natty to become one fo them but he dont consent to race transition therapy and is glad to be White, which is hate nowawdays to the dinks

so he fights back and is tied trio a stake AND the indians dance around him

judy sends hetty to read to the lake camp cheef to stall until the soldiers come and they kiss on the mouth as i guess thejkyre european

so harry gets to the brit soldiers and tells em natty needs help and tom was iced and they start comming

judy puts on her moms bloodstained dress and fakes being her moms ghost and tells cheef ofd the bad guys to let natty go

hetty sez; judy, sister, how beautiful you are, as i ghuess she's a bimbo and it ruins the plan

then the soldiers come in fort revenge for fort william and its a breif battle like birth of a nation with smoke and running

its only on for a few seconds

after the struggle, the indians are taken out but hetty got iced by arrows and admiral hunter monroe sez he now knows the daughters were his kids and he regrets ditching their mom

hetty sez she secretly loved harry but never said anything and tells him to be more like natty bimpo and tells judy she seez their mom and bites it

so after the bodies are berried, judy asks natty if she ahtes her and he sez he loves her and would like top be her husband, but, she belongs to another and should keep her promice to marry him

what is this? Y's wehere Adol goes off and ditches the chick of this gamers adventure?

so she understands and goes off to marry warsly and in the boy scouts say The Deerslayer is a real Scout and they otta make a granite monument 

The End

That was pretty good

nice telling of the story

good twists and values

good honor aNSD DIGNITY

its like a story of knights and their ladies faire

its not a big mess of cgi and bad love scenes and pc sodomy

its a good romance with action and coolness and is only like 45 mins

For the last of the mohicans i mean The Deerslayer And Chingachgook 2 I want judy and Chingachgook''s kids to be 2 chicks who are homies and the french have taken over and they are fighting to free America from their lusty oppression. Also the french are spreading a plague by their lusts and plan to turn all the people infected with it by butt hammering them, and these 2 chicks fight against them with stealth and throwing knives. its also an 8 bit game on Sega Master System abnd Game Gear, NES and Game Boy, Atari 7800 abnd Lynx and TG1`6 where you play as 1 or both chicks and go through these buildings and take out frenchies who are high rank and infect others with their poison dna to devolutionize them

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