Star Virgin Review

 Note; I spell virginal

Star Virgin

This is my revierw on Star VBirgin from the distant future year (to Osamu Tezuka) of 1988 (around the time Violence Jack happened)

Its a direct to video live action japanese thing that I never saw but looks silly

Also; its NOT a P0RN0! It can't be! Its got VIRGIN in the title! Thats the OPPOSITE of P0RN0!!

Like the hungar games being about overeating

its not even on soviet wikipedia SO I DONT KNOW SH-T ABOUT IT BUT SDAW CLIPS that looked fun

so after some cheesy cgi logos we get this jungle with a japanese chick with 1920s  or 1980s hair tied to a xcross and puppets watching her

she's in a leopard print dress and has earings

this big a55 rubber abomionation coimes over that is probably played by a guy in a suit and its like a betterrt but worse power rangers

the rubber thing extents its long slimy tongue and glicks her and his arm device glows and changes her outfit to a bikini thing

she brewaks outta her ropes and i'm not sure who tied her up, but she swings on its tongue and wraps it around a tree with 1 bend and summons a sword and the monster leaves

the puppets book it and look liek ghoulies 4 guys and this was to epic horn music like power rangers in japanese

she goes on and turens back to her leopard print dress and takes oof in a plastric space ship and then we get da title and credits to 80s msuic like a space epic or fist of the north star the movie

in the ship she takes a bubblebath and sez its her 1st trip, mondsay august and a week ago she went to her dad who has trouble

a flashback shows him givinbg her the arm thing aND SAYING NOT TO TAKE IT OFF AS theres dangerous places and she dont wanna go there anymore

btw the subs are kinda bad and this is in PROPER fullscreen and good 80s color

so now shes going to a place called earth and lands her ship and it turns into a building or something

she goes otu on a hovercycle as soem japanese song plays like in la blue girl

then its day and shes still driving and this 80sm car is there and she goes over it and then theres a beach with japanese in swimsuits

then 1 guy is at the dentist and gets a tooth put in but for the effects the real tooth was painted black

im see a white tooth and i want to paionmt it black

dentist sends the ner5d out and he goes back to get his insect book and goes and thsi tank f--kin busts into the office as the dentist spazzes out

it grabs him with a metal pinsir and outside nerd bumpt ins to main chick with ehr groceries

the tank comes afetr em and they run and i guess its a sh-tty tabnk as these guys can outrun it

they split up and it goes after nerd and she goes back and gives hmn groveries and runs off and talks toi a blonde japanxzedse guy

he gives her a book of the order forme of the year and her arm thing starts going off and she goers ogfg and he follows as she transforms into bikini mode

she fights ther tank by grabbing the claw and it cant overpower her as shes too strong

it fires at her ansd she dodges and jams a wood in the treds and plusgs its butt gun with a rock

when it fires at her it blows and she turns back with her arm thing like cuteyy honey

she sez soprry and they hang out and she sez her arm thing is from japan and hes into it

it dont respond to him and shes curtouiuys and she is freaked out by a butterfly as girls donty like bugs like with misty in pokemopn

hes into it and goes after it as i guess hes bug seuxal

then this space jet bcomes out and ropes up nerd and goes off with him

so main chick goes after it i the hovercycle and its going across the ocean

i gotta say, the prwctical weffects are better in here thabnn anything cg cr-pped out

so they go to this island in the middle of da sea and its a jungle thing like in a godzilla movie

in a house the nerd is chained up and this geezer wants something and shows footage of the dentist

geezer sez theyt are both japanese and hes looking for something but i'm not sure as the subs are kinda cr-ppy

highball? isnt that a beer?

something about losing something in America and ww2 and he shows this thing hes been making for years and it has a gold annd silver treasure from the royal navy aand i think its some knda mazinger robot

geezer sez something about izanamino mikoto, oh its the goddezz Izanami

So the goddess made islandsaa by the spear in the sea by the heavenly bridge(bifrost?) and akitsu island didnt become a gemstone but something about, as the suybs put it: sunk by a chairman

he goes on about how it can be used for b0ning and something about the best in japan wwhere u were born

this big guy comes in to rough nerd up and 2 other guys bring in maiin chick

she has his bug book and geezer checks her out and as the 3 big guys hold her and her arm thing goes off anbd shew transforms into her battle bikini

she beats through the big guys and unchains nerd buty 1 big guy gets a gun and fires and it bounces off nerds added tooth and thery just walk out

geezer senmds this syber samurai after em andnewrd and chick ewscaper outside uinb this godzilla island

they run into the huperhuman samurai syber with a lazer eye and it comes for nerd but  chick uses her blade on it

the blade does jack sh-t and jack's j=rkin off and the samurAI throows her intoi a tree

she swingsa on a wrist ropew like spider man and tar zan and saves nerd but samurai slices down the tree they are in

chick swordfights him and is overpowered and runs but is followedand the samurai blows her bike with its lazer eye

she thrioows her bike into syber and he sinks aand chick turns back to her clothes forme\

they talk about siomething but the subs make no sense like pea pea scooter is eatenand chow is sultry

i think threy are bicvkering and she goes off and is scared by a butterfly and he checks it out cuz hes autuistic and the samiurai risses and they run

proibably shouldnb't have turneed back

they come across a huge a55 dfung beatle and it rolls an indiana jones sh-t ball at em

they run and splitup aand the sh-tball of doom nails the samurai but hes ok and they run

they go through the jungle and she gets her hand caught on spiderwewwbs and they see a big a55 spider thats not cg so it looks good

nerd uses his maghnifying glass to burn the web and the spidre grtadually comes until it jumps and they dub and it gets samurai

Monster Quest told of 5 foot long Spiders in da  jungle so i guess they can put this on the History channel now like Texads Chainsaw Massacre Reboot or Boogie Nights

so the spider catches fire from the samurais sizzling circuts and the duo runb again

they come to a waterfall and fruits from a tree fall on em and they eat em

they talk about something and notices hers missing a tooth whhich the effects team paiinted blicketee blackj again

she finds it but samuraigrabs it and captures herby the wrist

the samurai has cables frioom its head like hair and nerd cant take it and goes manly for once and tackles oout the robot and beats on it wth wood

it zaps him out and takes the chick off

then chick wakews up in a dress and geezer shows her the nerd is in a shock chamber that zaps him

geezer opens the island and the stature of satan i mean liberty comes oput as the Star Spangled Banner plays

nerd is on it and geezer sez he spent 84 years on this and something about going after the ussr

the robot turns into a more power rangers or v r troopers style thing of the statue and geezer sez if it attacks the sovciets itt'll staret a nucular war,  and geezer has a barrier thing to protect japan from it

he wants to msarry cghick and she seems into it and wonders if geezer can handle her

geezers robot butler brinsd him a drink sand t maskeshim de age  and he tries to b0ne her

her poweer acttivates and it zaps geezer andshe jumps out da wall and geezer re geezerizes

statue mech throwes the nerd off andhe's saved by chick but the statue is there and she runs to trhe jungle as nerd fgoes off

she gets bananas and starts sucking them seducticly

jk she rteally throws them at tghe statue robot and when it steps on em falls over like the charlie chaplin

she slips on one and trhe statue grabs her and shlkcks her and in the base in the thing geezer showed the nerd, geezer has the tooth

he does something with it and the thing hes in starts turning and i think its a generator and he laffs

the robot ststuer gets busted by cannbon fire from the chicks ship that is beign flown by nerd despite now he was miles away from where she parked it and didnt know of it and dont know how to fly it

also this is kinda like with Que and Fandora in Dream Dimension Hunter Fandora by Go Nagai

chcik gets out of the statues hand and usesd a wrist grappling hook to get in the ship

robot butler is there now and ststue robot seems busted but the island starts f--kin out and rises from the sea like in Sonic and Knuckles

she fleis her ship[ into the island annd its going star fox 64 now and blasts doors open to advance to the generator room

this is a lot liek star wars but not ruined by disney

maybe macross/robotech with dolzas fortress

so she busts the uiinnder generartor and gets a rocket launchair and big gunb and blows the cedntral core more and its got good effects cuz its not f--kin cg that looks liek a55

the tooth flies out and the ship escapes a volcano and the tooth lands in the sea cravasse

the island is back in the sea but at a tilt, but somehow i guess isnt on anything

the geezer and 3 guys are in busted clothes and saY CR-P I DONT GET and f off and die caps lok

chick is in the dress again and they run outta juice or something and  go down and then are seen rowing a boat in the sea

they fidn an island and samurai is there and flips it and they are in the sea

they go to the island and samurai comes on andtheese kids apoull it and its head sparks and it dances

then its the island peoples friends and i think this is where samurai pizza catds got it from

then credits to some anime like song

chick is showiering in a swimsuit and her device detecting nerd lusiuting after her, even thought shes in a 1 piece and her being in a skimpier bikini was nothing from him

they have fun t the beach and she dumps water on him from a blue bucket

they they go to the beach and do cart wheels as they are nimble like ninjas

the end

that was silly, random, werird, cheezy and just plain fun

its like an anime like outlanders or something

its onyl like pg as thewres no nudes or b0ning and only a chick wearing a bikini, which can be seen at the pool

its got nice effects and is sorta vr troopers and has nice msuic and color

its only like an hour and ius pretty chererful and positive and lite

glad i watched this, its a nice 80s thing

For Star Virgin 2 I want the Tooth to have been found by sea daemons and they use it to power their tech that lets them conquer much of the earth, so its up to Star Virgin to come back to earth and fight the sea daemons and their forces and slice throguh them with her blade. Also its a 16 bit Platform game like Strider on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, GBA and Atari Jaguar where you pplay as her and go across this weird seashell like cities and fight sea daemons that look like fish people and tentacle monsters.