note; yeah my typinings bad. but you love it
anna and the king of siam
this is my review on the king of siam
I know they made a musical of it called the king and I
but this is the uncut true story
they didn't tone down the darker cr-p for a general audience
think good yugioh to yugioh arcv
people bit it
not "sealed in cards"
we get crow back but not anna?
crow s-cked!
and anna's replacement doesn't even use anna's high level cards.
0/10
get aids arc v
so we get some tital text like star wars and it sez in da 1860s
the king of siam has a chick from england come over to teach his kids english
it also sez the country is barbaric
typical britmo's
feeling superiority over anyone different
so the king has a harem of 1000 chix and he b0nes em all
after some q/a with the staff she findas women dont have much rights there
and she was kinda b--chy to the staff
later she sez sorry
they meet this big buff guy and whines about not getting her own place
she don't wanna live in the palace
why not?
the buff guy explains they have more important sh-t and shes gonna gotta wait
later she goes mental over not wanting to sleep in a bed w/o her own sheets on it
this is why people don't like foreigners
they don't wanna be real citizens but just wanna turn the new country into the old one
this film promotes negative stereotypes of gaijin
later the woan is shown the custom to greet the king
but she don't like it
and since the whole country revolves around her, she wants to do her own thing
if you don't like a country you aint being forced to live there!
either poop or get off the pot!
her son wants to follow tradition but his mom don't want him to
she meets the king and he asks her age
she sez 150
but the max human lifespan now is 120
he tests her and trumps her lies
he finds shes not afraid and likes it
he shows her his wives and some have big butts
also he wants people in siam to speak English/be modern
then he brings his many children in
67 kids
that's a lot of b0ning
Genghis khan b0ned way more and had more kids
later on june 12 1862 the king goes mental on his birthday
a newspaper said hes a "spare" man
he thinks it means like extra
but the woman sez it also means thin
like boning up on pokemon
and b0ning pokemon
she goes mental over him not giving her a place of her own
what a b--ch
later she gets it
but she don't like it
what a b--ch
when in rome, do as the romans do
don't go to a pizza place and whine about wanting sushi
while teaching some chix she finds 1 woman knows some English from Christian missionaries
she teaches em phrases that promote her crusade on the king
later the king (not elvis or bb) gets gifts from people and 1 is a chick
also he sees an English quote on a thing from englin\d about honor
his son sez stuff the teacher taught him
propaganda views against his work
later the king finds Cambodia joined the frenchies
traitors!!
although I hate having to press C 3x to get to Canada on country lists
Cambodia and Cameroon can get out
the king sez theres nothing to be done
the buff guy sez hes the one who got the king to be king and he was in a monastary
and that Europe is after his countries a55
he gives the woman a house cuz hes sick of putting up wth her sh-t
he should've had her a55 whipped
but she sez she don't want it cuz shes a b--ch
she tries to leave but some fat chix grab her
the buff guy asks her to stay in siam and sez the king is lonley
he seems like a good ruler
like napoleon or zee kaizer
not those brit butts
the buff guy sez the king tries hard to be strong like his dad but also has to be modern to keep up with the Europeans trying to take over
Europe thinks they are barbaric and want to rule em
funny, the opening called it barbaric
later the wo man is teaching English and 1 chick has a monkey
she wants to kick the monkey girl out but the girl is brave
shes the new fave of the king
also the prince is confused reading a book saying the world is round
he sez it rids the back of a huge turtle who keeps it from running into stars
her son gave the prince the book
later this older chick (the princes mom) talks with the womam
then the son and prince fought
the prince said the boy wasn't a man for saying sorry to a woman
later the king calls the woman to him in the middle of the night
its cuz he thinks bad of Moses for saying in the Holy Bible that the earth was made in 6 days
and he's an evolutionist!!
she tries to explain it w/o really choosing a side
she goes back to her room whining about being woke up at 3 am
B I G A P P L E 3 A M
but she hears a baby crying
the next day she talks to the monkey girl about her slave
the woman holding the baby who was chained up
the monkey girl sez the slave tried to escape
and shes jealous over the slave having a husband who she loves and the monkey girl has to b0ne the king
the woman goes to the king but the conversation turns to her showing disrespect in his countries way
holding her head higher than his
she refuses to use the customs of the country she's in
she whines about the king being above the law
when the brits worship their regent and give her superior rights no brits whine
the king points out the queen has high rights but she claims she follows the law
yeah she never had anyone wacked
then they talks about lincon
but wasn't he the bad guy?
I mean hows the confederates different than George Washington?
the king sides with lincon and when he finds theres no elephants in america, sends a letter to lincon
he wants to send a buncha pairs of male elephants to start a population in amerioca to give americans a chance to hunt and catch and train em
I don't think that's how breeding works
unless he means hermaphrodite elephants
btw
this country has slave owners rights and america is fighting over several things(including slave owners rights)
yet he sides with lincon
the monkey girl goes mental over the king listening to the woman over her and smashes something expensive
later lincon sends a letter to the king saying they don't want his elephants
its probably cuz they were gay
since he wanted to send pairs of male elephants
later a mr ed ramsey is coming over and the king worries the guy will think hes a barbarian
also the king intercepted the mail and found brits think hes a barbarian
he wants the ed ramsey to see his place as compatible with europeans
so he has women dress in big poofy dresses
but they go commando
and the woman don't think its good
so he makes undies
also he has forks and knifes and spoons made
under pressure of workers getting beat 100x
were there unions in charge nothing would be done in time
later all these people arrive for a dinner
he has some interesting and borderline autistic thoughts in conversation
he later has good dinner conversation offscreen
then has a show of Siamese history done in dance
during it the napkins arrive even though diner is over
and he hands em out
later somethings going on
the monkey girl ran away offscreen and was recently found
she was out b0ning a young Buddhist priest or w/e
she claims they didn't know she was a chick
sounds like a springer ep
the priest was whipped and the monkey girl sez she was gonna marry him but was got by the king
she claims she never b0ned him and they have her whipped since they don't believe her
the woman interferes and the king says he approved it
was this in the king and I?
I never saw dat
the woman sez she wants the woman to have a trial
but the king sez; I am da law! like he's judge dredd
the wo man goes on a wordy monologue/tirade to guilt him into changing his mind
he don't all for it and wants to make her watch him b0ming the monkey girl dead
the priest and monkey girl aRe BURNED At the stake together
pretty sure that was censored in the king and I
they disney'd it!
like the hunchback of notre dame where no one bites it
imagine them doing hamlet
later shes gonna skip town but the chix give her a letter saying thanx
the princes mom tells a story of how her wall paper tells her story
its kinda lion king like about life and reproduction
the princes mom sez if she helped him the prince(or maybe kin)(no its prince) could've advanced beyond his dad
then a horse falls and some kid riding bites it
I think its the womans son
the king writes a royal thing saying sept 12 is a day to remember the kid
and the woman gets a title
the buff guy sez te king is trying to say sorry about the woman he torched
sorry for the1st time in his life
the prince offers to give back an item the son gave him
but the mom sez its his
so the prince offers his white elephant to her since he never gave the son anything
this is a great movie
it has heart
when talking with the king she crys and hes nice to her
later we get a montage for a few years of her talking with people and setting up consilates
then it turns out the king was ill and has a long scene of him with the woman
they drag it out like with opimus prime in transformers the movie
he thanks her for saying the truth to her even when he didn't wanna hear it
good advice
if you love someone, don't hide the truth from em
be honest even if they deny it and are hiding from truth
then he bites it and the woman sez no one got him and he was caring
the prince ascends to king
he ends the custom of being lower than the king
I thoughts the prince bites it
must be thinking of something else
the end
I liked this
its good
but I should watch the king and I to compare
for anna and ther king of siam 2 I'd like for the 21st century king of siam to use a necromancer to contact her for advice and she sez to take over the world. he does so and uses advanced weapons made from black arts and they dominate the local area. but it turns out that the anna the necromancer contacted was really a daemon who took her form and wanted to blight the world with evil.
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Saturday, June 18, 2016
The Old Man And The Sea Review
note; u know the drill, bad typing
the old man and the sea
this is my review on the old man and the sea (1958 ver)
its got spencer tracey
and its by Hemmingway or something
I recall he blew his brains out
ooh, its I\n color
aw, its wideascreen
it starts with colorful images of nature and water like the 86 fist of the north star movie
this old dude hasn't caught any fish for 84 days
1984 is when fist of the north star started
also this young boy who helped him fish went to another boat
traitor!
he takes his boat stuff and goes home
then the kid and the man have beer
kids drinking?
you cant even show that in shows nowadays
naruto censored rock lee getting hammered in the dub
I hear this film is set in cuba
I assume its b4 the commies took over
back to beer
one guy I was talking to (who's ok with abortion) was disturbed by European parents giving their kids a bit of wine
said; it can cause damage
kinda ironic
at night the man wants the kid to go to the other boat
they talk a bit and the kid goes home
nowadays an old man hanging out with a young boy would be seen as suspect
back then in da 50s people were less lusty and had cleaner minds
at this bar the kid has only 60 cents
that was a lot in the 50s
the kid returns at sundown and the man is sleeping
he calls him "old man"
don't people have names?
they talk about baseball and horses offscreen
he wants to take tjhis guy called DiMaggio fishing
I assume they mean the guy who played bender on futurama
the kid wonders why geezers wake up early
the old man(I will call geezer now) dreams of his African childhood
boating and being by the sea
the ocean terrifies me
its a boundless abyss
an infinite void
they lose ur body they, its never getting found
might as well be in space
wait, I think I said that in a previous review
early the geezer wakes up and gets the boy
its been like 20 mins and nothing happened
plus most of the story is told by a narrator
they and the other fishermen bring their boat masts to the boats and go out to sea
how long is this movie?
they go in different boats (wait, da boy stays on land) as da sun comes out homie
I hear a 7000lb great white was caught in cuba in the 50s
el monstro
this like a freakin dinosaur!
the narrator describes the geezers fishing style and he later sees a bird
this is like reading someones twitter
just normal things and thoughts and actions
a big a55 fish catches his line and he uses his hands to let the line go out
wont that cut off his fingers?
wont that cut off his fingers?
after a while of him talking to himself he sez he wants the fish to eat the hook and it to shank its heart
the fish pulls the geezers boat by the line
wtf
he wraps the line behind his back
its gonna cut him in half like in ghost ship
its gonna cut him in half like in ghost ship
4 hours later this fish is still pulling
later its sundown and hes still pulling and suspecting what kind of fish or its backstory and gender
he relates to the fish as both are out there alone and in the far sea
later a separate fishing pole breaks and he cuts the line
he hooks a line on his baby toe but the fish jerks and he falls in his boat
he sez to the fish he loves/respects him but will ice him
once at high school I was eating a burger and had a thought that almost ruined it
what was the cow like when it was alive?
thankfully I wasn't turned vegan
those guys aint right
he kees talking the the fish that's deep underwater
as a kid when playing spider man vs the kingpin I was facing venom and yelled at the tv to weaken his symbiote like it would have an effect
the line cuts the geezers hand
maybe if you didn't hold a small rope with your bare hand it wouldn't happen
his hand is cramping up and then we get real footage of a sword fish or w/e jumping that don't really blend with the movie
also most of the movie is tracey imn front of a fake background with the camera moving up/down
later its raining and he sez eventhough hes not religious he's gonna say 10 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Father's to catch the fish
also he's gonna go to a place to pray to a Saint
he recalls his armwrestling a big black guy years ago for like 30 hours
this is like saint seiya with warriors fighting for weeks at a time
he wins against the black guy
I assume it wasn't like in yugioh where the winner gets to live
offscreen he catches a dolphin and eats it
I hear dolphin isn't very good
maybe with some miso soup and good tempura it would be
oh and wasabi
love wasabi
once I was having sushi with my yugioh homie and he said
do you dare me to eat this wasabi?
no
then I dare myself(eats it) mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
good times]
after like another full day he's still gone w/o sleep
he needs pepsi
maybe mountain dew
he rests with his arm on the line and has various dreams
like whales b0ning
I was once watching a doc on whale reproduction(whale p0rn0) and it showed the right whae with its 9 foot tentacle d0ng
also once I saw a whale autopsy and this he a55 whae was being lifed on a crane and its d0ng came out
maybe that's where la blue girl gets it?
so the geezer wakes up and the fush s jumping around like a hyper kid who just heard the power rangers intro
its clearly tracey's hands in front of recorded footage of a big a55 fish
they also reuse the same clip
if he had a gun he could just cap the fish
the fish fills its sacs with air and wont dive deep
did spencer tracey stay up for 3 days to film this?
day 3; he's still at it
once I was playing "high seas havoc" on sega and its a really hard (but awesome) game
rather than turn it off and start over, I just left my sega on for like over 40 hours with me taking sleep whiz and food breaks
the geezer sees the fish as a giant he size of a freakin dinosaur
his eyes are giving out
one i had an epic clash!
for over 20 hours i faced advance wars 2
no sleep. no rest. just playing and occasionally taking breaks to whiz or shovel snow w/o a shirt or socks.
i faced that final battle over and over. trying different things.
i reset and got a feeling; this is it.
i was burning out. my eyes couldnt focus. i was making mistakes.
but i busted his D ray and the dialogue started.
did i win? i won... i wonnnnnn!!
grand game with a worthy challenge
so thr geezer catches the fish and shanks it with a spear
its pretty big
then a shark comes fr his fish
he shanks it with a harpoon(with real footage of a shark getting shanked)
eat that PETA!
fanatical animal gutter supremacists
the big fish was cut up by da shark and bled
so more sharks are coming
he makes a spear with a blade tied to a stick
then more sharks attack
nowadays he'd be the bad guy for killing fish
it shows real shaRKS getting shanked and gushing blood
bad a55
like in men behind the sun how they used real corpses for their dismemberment scenes
he then gets a stick and beats the sharks
he should collect the sharks and eat em
after the fight he sez hes sorry to the fish for going out too far
but the fish is da one who pulled him
in men behind the sun they had farmers collect rats for a scene where they eat a cat(lick bloodcolored honey off it)
later they set the rats on fire
the farmers were happy
what else would they do? release em back on the farms to blight the people?
later more sharks come
he fights but his bod gives out
the fish eat the big a55 fish and he comes home with a big a55 fish head and its huge skeleton
make weapons out of those bones
its night and he walks home but is wiped out
the boy comes in and puts a blanket on him
why didn't the man cut off chunks of the fish and keep em in his boat?]
in the AM the boat people measure the fish bones
the boy brings the geezer coffee
hes down but the boy stands up and gives him a confidence boost
later the geezer is dreaming of lions in Africa
the end
for the old man and the sea 2 I'd like the boy top have grown up and is trying to be a fisherman but the big gov and animal rights groups are trying to ban fishing since they care more about animals that would eat them instead of people who have souls. not wanting to lose his way of life, the boy starts a human supremacy group to promote human rights and show humans are the one true ultimate life form on earth. this leads to attacks by animal rights groups who want to ban anything involving animals saying since they banned cockfighting it set a precedent that animals can have supremacy over humans.
Friday, June 10, 2016
The Killer Shrews Review
note; your used to my bad typing
the killer shrews
this is my review foer the killer shrews
I hear its pretty bad
I hope so
I like bad films
I haven't seen this b4 so this is a new experience for me
although sometomes watching a film a few times gives insight
he 1st tiome I saw violence jack slumking (1986) I loved it
but each time after I noticed more and more errors
it starts with a science lesson on shrewz being the most vicious anuimal around
then mentions the "giant killer shrew"
after the opening credits it goes to 2 guys driving a boat
they go to some island and notice a strange trail
they then meet a few people including a man and his adult dauighter
its always a guy amnd his daughter
as they aint leaving the captain or skipper or w/e stays there and his black guy worker starts unloading
he notices somwetjhong weird about their place
something about a huirricane
the dad sez they are self sufficient there and have cows for milk
the boat guy then meets a nerdy looking dr
but he seems more like he's faking nerdyness
like superman
its said the dr works on genetics and isd only interested in his project
does he have autism?
he works on animal size and metabolism
and sez f we were half opur size we'd live 2x as long
well...
my moms gramma was 4'6 and made it to almost 100
Lillian gish wasn't tall and lived long
and the last survivors of the wizard of oz were midgets
the girl invites the captain for dinner
the dr has a 28 month old shrew with low metabolism
the captain asks how big they get but the dad gets suspicious
btw the film is in proper fullscreen
no black bars
the dad tlks about shrew eating habits
they eat 3x their weight every 254 hours or starve
they also eat bones
I;'m learngning
wow, 15 mins went by
it didn't feel like it
a storm begins to happen
the girl talks about leaving a cage open and the guy she's talking to is sickl f being called a drunk
then quit drinking!
she talks to the casptain but the drunk returns
oh, she and the drunk are engafed
meanwhile the black guy shoots at an unseen thing and runs
he climbs a tree but these animals come or him
the black guy always bites it in these films
the drunk sez hes gonna do the expeiments with the dad but no ne will stop him
then the tree he's I falls and the monsters getv the black guy
lightning hits a tree and falls
the captaimn wants to go out but the girl sez no one goes out after dark
she tells him about shrews and sez theyre awful
I think Canada geese are worse
hope they go extinct
she sez theres killer shrews the size of a wolf out there and theyre huingry
and theres 300 of em
like the number of guys in that speedo movie
the dad comes in and tells him theyre experiments made shrews grow and they escaped
then they started breeding
they tried to wipe em out and they only come out at night to feed unless hungry
he's hoping they eat eacjother
the girl talks with da captain and he wants to take her from the island
but the shrwews have got the livestock
they dug under the dirt floor to get past the fence
as the island is isolated the dad didn't think the gov or military is needed
also they cant swim
this is starting to sound like Jurassic park
they plan to leave the next day as its night now
later the drunk talks with the Italian guy and they work together for their own schemes
reminds me of Robotech II The Sentinels how T R Edwards works with Benson
as the drunk is drunk, he has the Italian (named Mario) take his turn to patrol but to get the drunk instead of the captain
he wants to be a manly man
after he closes a window with string, the Italian tells the captain a sherw got in and is in the celler
the captain gets his gun and they go into the celler
they look around to dramatic music but the shrew mauls the Italians leg
the shrew (which looks bad a55) is capped
the other guys come down but the Italian bites it
but he didn't bleed out
the shrew bites are toxic
and they r mutants who gained new abilities
the girl is revealed to be a zoologist who studies diet
turns out the dad put poison to kill the shrews but they gained it as a power up
so they are like the symbiote from spider man]
or rogue from xmen
the captain plans to use the dead shrew as bait so they can get to the boat
but nothing happens when they do
the captain goes out but the drunk holds him at gunpoint to let the shrews get hijm
but he fights him off and gets the gun
they get to the boat but the blackguy isn't there
the drunk canrt swin and wont go back sio he wants the captain to give him a gun
being smart, he don't
they find the black guy's clothes
good use of a forest setting
the shrews are coming so he gives the drunk a gun
they run back to the back but the drunk gets in 1st and keeps the captain out
so he climbs the wall and beats ump the drunk
a sheew gets in and bites the dr so they cap it
the dr bites it and they clost the door to the kitchen where theres more of em
the drunk starts freakimn out so the captain slaps his a55 around
then shrews start to come inthrough wall weakpoints
so they cover em with furniture
they escape to a shed or something and find chemical drums as armor to escape in
as in hiding in em and using them to defend themselves
they start welding em together but a sherew come in
so her blowtjorches it
I can see the animal rights commies going mental over this
they finish the drum thing but the drunk wants to stay behind and fight from the roof
they get in the drum tank and open the gate with string
then they do the duck walk to get to the beach as the shrews attack
I notice the chick looks a bit like the blonde from Jurassic park
they start tiring out so the guy does most of the work
why not rest fort a bit?
the drunk runs and gets swarmed and devoured
the chick gets het bot took buy the shrews
thery get to the water and swim to the boat
the dad sez in 24 hours the shrews will eat eachother
and that its cuz of overpopulation
the captain sez he wont worry about overpopulation just yet
then makes out with the guys daughter
that means they're gonna breed!
maybe they were b0ning in the boat in front of the dad in the real version
well... he's European SO HE must be used to it
the end
I liked this
its an ok film with good tropes of the era
nothing to really hate
for the killer shrews 2 I'd like for the girl to be pregnant with the captains kid and has really tubbed up. but it turns out she's been infected with shrew dna from the boot swiping and shes gotten pregnant with a shrewman baby. also theres shrews who have eaten birds and whales and gained flight and swimming powers and have escaped the island to eat and absorb more abilities until they become grotesque chimeric abominations and only the shrewman can take em on with its advanced growth rate(also its a female shrewman and is a curvy furry)
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Equus Review
norte; you know my typing s-cked. it aint changin
equus
this is my review on equus
I recall the hairy potter actor played in it
this is the 70s movieit starts with a naked man making out with a horse
interspecies romance?
well this is the 21st century so its not like we can dislike it anymore
this guy gives a wordy monologue about being a horse on the inside
I assume he's a furruy
nowadays we got fursuits
but this is the 70s so he cant deal with his orientation
this movie has Richard burton
I recall him doing some cr-ppy shakespere or w/e and saying
man and wife! horse and mare! b--ch and dog!!
he seems to be in a nuthouse
I think he's a dr there
this teen is sent there cuz he eye b0ned 6 horses with a metal spike
6 horses?!
spike?!
this is my little pony, friendship is magic!
I think that show is entertaining kinda like tiny toons
but I'm not a brony
speaking of bronies...
I heard a fun story from norse legend
Ioki was having another one of his god bets
heet the gods couIdnt finish buiIding a waII in time
so the due date was aImost there and the gods were aImost done
so Ioki(being a god) shapeshifted into an attractive femaIe horse and seduced the main workhorse and made Iove with him aII night
in the am, the horse was too tired to work right and the waII wasnt done in time
Ioki was pregnant from his night of hot horse Ioving and he Iater gave birth to an 8 Iegged magic horse
he gave it to odin which he used often
He got to be a sexy horse
he got to b0ne a sexy horse
he got horse pregnant
he has a magic horse child
this is Iike various bronies dreams come true
although I have a few brony friends
theyre ok
they aint the extreme bronies though
they just like the show and find some horses cute
so the horse b0ning guy is interviewed and keeps singing 70s jingles
later the Richard burton talks about some ritual sacrifice thing
ooh
he mentions the Mycenae
I recall em mentioned in Mazinger
hes ritual sacrificing kids to ensure a good harvest
sounds like stem cell research and global warming stuff combined
oh its a dream
the horse b0ning guy has a horse picture in his bedroom
better than spoons like with tommy wiseau
its mentioned the pagans thought the horse and rider counted as one person
well, the mongols were super skilled at mounted archery so I can see how they'd get that idea
they also say something about the bible and a verse that mentioned horses
wait, I think this is the home of the horse b0ning guy's rents
the mom reads him the bible and he liked the word "equus" which is some foreign word for horse
the dad thinks the mom's overprotectiveness effed him up
the dr asks about what she told her son about b0ning
she sez its not just biological but spiritual
to be fair, a lot of black arts users use b0ning in their daemon rituals
see also; Urotsukidoji II; Legend of the Demon Womb
the horse b0ning guy talks with the dr about dreams
the dr has f'd up horror dreams about cutting up kids
I got some f'd up dreams 2
one time i had a dream i knew i was dreaming
i had a big knife and i stabbed a guy in the eye and sliced through him slashes on his head(slicing through bone) and he wasnt falling apart so i sliced him into vertical strips and there was like pink-yellow inside his bod.
it was a big serrated knife around 8-14 inches long
later the horse b0ner builds a castle in the sand at the beach and this big black horse comes up with a guy on him
the rider lets the horse b0ner pet his big black horse and gives him a ride
btw, the horses name is TROJAN
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
then they ride into the water
the rider brings him back and his rents are worried
the rider is very manly and has a strong voice
kinda like he-man
the rents pul him off the horse and he gets hurt
then they yell at the rider
the horse b0ner goes mental
turns out this was a flashback
I didn't know it was
they should have like a note on screen that says "2 weeks ago" or w/e
law and order did it well with the date and place thing
although the noise kinda scared me as a kid
the horse b0ner sez he never rode a horse besides that time
at night the horse b0ner sez into a tape recorder that the horse riding was sexy
the next day he describes his experience with the horseriding
the mom tells the dr that the horse picture in his room replaced a picture of Jesus at Calvary
the dad tore it down but the kid freaked out
so they put it back
I had some issues as a teen
thankfully my rents never gave in to my insanity
and I recovered
I feel bad for people whop's rents don't love them enough to help them
if I'm anorexic and you give me surgery to remove organs to be lighter its not fixing the issue
later the dr goes to the stable and the horse owner sez he wishes he murdered the boy
that's reasonable
killing a guy for wounding an animal
like that kevin Costner movie
he pulls a knife, you pull a gun! he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!
the horse owner sez the horses were being taken out
AT NIGHT
and were SWEATY
he thinks the kid was riding em
I think that's the film's way of saying he was b0ning em,
later the boy is talking into his recorder and sez the horses talked to him
he sez he became obsessed with the horses movements and looking at em
like a guy who likes fat chix talking about him getting into fat chix and watching my 600lb life
he rambles on more about horses being used by men for shows or work
also them being naked
this is like that SVU ep with the guy with the amputee fetish where he goes on a solid 2 minute monologue about his lusts
the dr talks with the dad about somehow religion playing a part in his sons pre versions
the dad sez 18 months ago he heard his son talking to himself about words relating to horses
he puts on a string like a horse mouth thing and talks about equus being his only begotten son
he then beats himself with a wood coat hanger while pulling on the horse face string
this is some weird a55 SM sh-t
also he's looking at the horse picture and it looks freaky
is... is this a p0rn0e???
I watch a lot of f'd up sh-t
like go nagai and Urotsukidoji
but this is pretty up there
then the horse b0ner talks about meeting a female human at the stable and she got him a job there
he seems to be in his own purvo paradice
oh h-ll no
this horse b0ning kid looks like Bartholomew bond from degrassi jr high
I dont wanna think of that tween gaying out with a horse!
or several horses at once
the female teaches him how to brush horses
ypu just know hes probably got a full on b0ner the whole time
then she leaves to do other work and he's alone with a horse
make that horseS
he stands in the horse penand moves his feel like horses do
the dr asks about if he had dates with the human female but the kid snaps
he makes various comments on the drs secks life in a mean way
the dr tells him to go to his room but he just starts smokig
this punk reminds me of the guy from clockwork orange
later the dr talks with a woman about no one understanding him
the dr never had kids and don't get along with his woman
he wants to go to Greece and talks about his ideas and dreams
later the dr plays a game with the kid where the kid looks at somethimg and opens/closes eyes depending on pencil taps
this is like a weird ritual
the kids been hypnotized
the kid sez the horse said mouth chains hurt an compares it to Jesus
the horse is called equus
the kid kneels on the ground and sez the horse is in chains for sins of the world
and something about horse and rider becoming one
the kid sez the stable is like a church and goes riding
also he has weird horse phrases he says lie a church hymn
he relives his night in the horse place where he b0ned out their eyes
he rides the horse to a place and gets nude
we see his thing btw
I think he wants the horse to do stuff
its gonna bite it off!
he puts a stick imn the horses mouth then his mouth
ten he starts feeling the horse all over
this reminds me of freddy got fingered where tom green was grabbing the horses thing
he has weird religious rituals abouyt feeding and riding the horse naked
the movie doesn't show them b0ning but I'm pretty sure he was
he is very excited at riding him and sez he wants to be inside him and to be him
I think he j-zzed
then they make out
man this is a really f'd up story
I think its based on real events
put it on the history channel
the dr goes on a monologue about the horse saying "why me"
then about how we all start innocent but her twisted by things
later the mom slaps her kid andc the dr makes her leave
she goes on a whiny tirade about parents being blamed for their kids being f'd up
then she pukes
she blames the devil for his pur vustion
the dr sez he's gonna give him a placebo and say its a strong truth drug
the dr sez that society doesn't get him and he's only allowed to "be himself" when he b0nes horses
yeah lets not consider mental illness or chemical/hormone issues
the dr sez the kid has this look in his eyes at them cuz he got to live his dream of fulfilling his fetish
he then whines about his f'd up life and sez his issues are not much different than the horse b0ner
except he's jealous of the kid
his gf then gives him reason and logic and sez he has the power to save the kid
the dr then gives the kid the "truth pill"
he talks about his desire of bathing with the pagan gods in Greece
he asks the kid about the girl but he clams he don't know
he interrogates him further and the girl sez girls find horses sexy
sounds like my little pony
the girl asks him to go see a p0rnoe with her
and she was the only chick in a room fuil of dudes
he compares men looking at the screen to church somehow
then his dad comes in and brings them out
while waiting for the bus the dad sez he was olny there for a poster work job and claims he didn't know they showed those xxx movies
his dad leaves on the bus and he sez he's gonna see the female home
he tells the dr about him realizing men b0ne women
he goes into the stable to b0ne the human female with the horses around
but he cant b0ne a human woman since he kept thinking of the horse
he wanted the horse
she leaves and he asks the horses for forgiveness
aw h-ll no he looks like alex winter from bill and ted
he cant take the horses having seen his sin since he sees horses as gods and he pops their eyes with a sickle
its pretty cool
then the horse owner comes in and knocks him out
the horse b0ner has viet nam seizures from reliving it and the dr sez he'd never see equus again
the dr uts the kid to sleep with a needle(not like a dog. but a tranquilizer) and sez he's gonna make him well
then he sez equus wont leave him easily
this woman sez the dr can heal him but the dr goes on a tirade saying even if he makes him well it isn't right
they try to make him being non insane seem bad
then he talks about him being in chains of mouth and something about being something about equus
the end
that was pretty f'd up
well made
but disturbing and weird
I think its a p0rn0
kinda
like violence jack with all the b0ning and hermaphrodites
ooh
it was made in canada
they got all these weird laws against some p0rnos
some anime is banned these cuz its got SM in it
like cool devices
not sure about night shift nurses
I think its ok after they took out the enemas
for equus 2 I'd like for the horse b0ning guy to have started getting surgery to be made to look more like a horse and start acting more like a real horse. his mom finally finds out and has enough and tries to stop him but the horse b0ning guy wont listen to reason. when he nearly dies from getting injections of horse hormones, his mom has him taen in and has a ritual to free him from demons. The demon possessing him is driven out and the mom has an epic battle with it using holy items and her faith. also equus is really a demon who has been mo lesting his mind to drive him to ruin
equus
this is my review on equus
I recall the hairy potter actor played in it
this is the 70s movieit starts with a naked man making out with a horse
interspecies romance?
well this is the 21st century so its not like we can dislike it anymore
this guy gives a wordy monologue about being a horse on the inside
I assume he's a furruy
nowadays we got fursuits
but this is the 70s so he cant deal with his orientation
this movie has Richard burton
I recall him doing some cr-ppy shakespere or w/e and saying
man and wife! horse and mare! b--ch and dog!!
he seems to be in a nuthouse
I think he's a dr there
this teen is sent there cuz he eye b0ned 6 horses with a metal spike
6 horses?!
spike?!
this is my little pony, friendship is magic!
I think that show is entertaining kinda like tiny toons
but I'm not a brony
speaking of bronies...
I heard a fun story from norse legend
Ioki was having another one of his god bets
heet the gods couIdnt finish buiIding a waII in time
so the due date was aImost there and the gods were aImost done
so Ioki(being a god) shapeshifted into an attractive femaIe horse and seduced the main workhorse and made Iove with him aII night
in the am, the horse was too tired to work right and the waII wasnt done in time
Ioki was pregnant from his night of hot horse Ioving and he Iater gave birth to an 8 Iegged magic horse
he gave it to odin which he used often
He got to be a sexy horse
he got to b0ne a sexy horse
he got horse pregnant
he has a magic horse child
this is Iike various bronies dreams come true
although I have a few brony friends
theyre ok
they aint the extreme bronies though
they just like the show and find some horses cute
so the horse b0ning guy is interviewed and keeps singing 70s jingles
later the Richard burton talks about some ritual sacrifice thing
ooh
he mentions the Mycenae
I recall em mentioned in Mazinger
hes ritual sacrificing kids to ensure a good harvest
sounds like stem cell research and global warming stuff combined
oh its a dream
the horse b0ning guy has a horse picture in his bedroom
better than spoons like with tommy wiseau
its mentioned the pagans thought the horse and rider counted as one person
well, the mongols were super skilled at mounted archery so I can see how they'd get that idea
they also say something about the bible and a verse that mentioned horses
wait, I think this is the home of the horse b0ning guy's rents
the mom reads him the bible and he liked the word "equus" which is some foreign word for horse
the dad thinks the mom's overprotectiveness effed him up
the dr asks about what she told her son about b0ning
she sez its not just biological but spiritual
to be fair, a lot of black arts users use b0ning in their daemon rituals
see also; Urotsukidoji II; Legend of the Demon Womb
the horse b0ning guy talks with the dr about dreams
the dr has f'd up horror dreams about cutting up kids
I got some f'd up dreams 2
one time i had a dream i knew i was dreaming
i had a big knife and i stabbed a guy in the eye and sliced through him slashes on his head(slicing through bone) and he wasnt falling apart so i sliced him into vertical strips and there was like pink-yellow inside his bod.
it was a big serrated knife around 8-14 inches long
later the horse b0ner builds a castle in the sand at the beach and this big black horse comes up with a guy on him
the rider lets the horse b0ner pet his big black horse and gives him a ride
btw, the horses name is TROJAN
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
then they ride into the water
the rider brings him back and his rents are worried
the rider is very manly and has a strong voice
kinda like he-man
the rents pul him off the horse and he gets hurt
then they yell at the rider
the horse b0ner goes mental
turns out this was a flashback
I didn't know it was
they should have like a note on screen that says "2 weeks ago" or w/e
law and order did it well with the date and place thing
although the noise kinda scared me as a kid
the horse b0ner sez he never rode a horse besides that time
at night the horse b0ner sez into a tape recorder that the horse riding was sexy
the next day he describes his experience with the horseriding
the mom tells the dr that the horse picture in his room replaced a picture of Jesus at Calvary
the dad tore it down but the kid freaked out
so they put it back
I had some issues as a teen
thankfully my rents never gave in to my insanity
and I recovered
I feel bad for people whop's rents don't love them enough to help them
if I'm anorexic and you give me surgery to remove organs to be lighter its not fixing the issue
later the dr goes to the stable and the horse owner sez he wishes he murdered the boy
that's reasonable
killing a guy for wounding an animal
like that kevin Costner movie
he pulls a knife, you pull a gun! he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue!
the horse owner sez the horses were being taken out
AT NIGHT
and were SWEATY
he thinks the kid was riding em
I think that's the film's way of saying he was b0ning em,
later the boy is talking into his recorder and sez the horses talked to him
he sez he became obsessed with the horses movements and looking at em
like a guy who likes fat chix talking about him getting into fat chix and watching my 600lb life
he rambles on more about horses being used by men for shows or work
also them being naked
this is like that SVU ep with the guy with the amputee fetish where he goes on a solid 2 minute monologue about his lusts
the dr talks with the dad about somehow religion playing a part in his sons pre versions
the dad sez 18 months ago he heard his son talking to himself about words relating to horses
he puts on a string like a horse mouth thing and talks about equus being his only begotten son
he then beats himself with a wood coat hanger while pulling on the horse face string
this is some weird a55 SM sh-t
also he's looking at the horse picture and it looks freaky
is... is this a p0rn0e???
I watch a lot of f'd up sh-t
like go nagai and Urotsukidoji
but this is pretty up there
then the horse b0ner talks about meeting a female human at the stable and she got him a job there
he seems to be in his own purvo paradice
oh h-ll no
this horse b0ning kid looks like Bartholomew bond from degrassi jr high
I dont wanna think of that tween gaying out with a horse!
or several horses at once
the female teaches him how to brush horses
ypu just know hes probably got a full on b0ner the whole time
then she leaves to do other work and he's alone with a horse
make that horseS
he stands in the horse penand moves his feel like horses do
the dr asks about if he had dates with the human female but the kid snaps
he makes various comments on the drs secks life in a mean way
the dr tells him to go to his room but he just starts smokig
this punk reminds me of the guy from clockwork orange
later the dr talks with a woman about no one understanding him
the dr never had kids and don't get along with his woman
he wants to go to Greece and talks about his ideas and dreams
later the dr plays a game with the kid where the kid looks at somethimg and opens/closes eyes depending on pencil taps
this is like a weird ritual
the kids been hypnotized
the kid sez the horse said mouth chains hurt an compares it to Jesus
the horse is called equus
the kid kneels on the ground and sez the horse is in chains for sins of the world
and something about horse and rider becoming one
the kid sez the stable is like a church and goes riding
also he has weird horse phrases he says lie a church hymn
he relives his night in the horse place where he b0ned out their eyes
he rides the horse to a place and gets nude
we see his thing btw
I think he wants the horse to do stuff
its gonna bite it off!
he puts a stick imn the horses mouth then his mouth
ten he starts feeling the horse all over
this reminds me of freddy got fingered where tom green was grabbing the horses thing
he has weird religious rituals abouyt feeding and riding the horse naked
the movie doesn't show them b0ning but I'm pretty sure he was
he is very excited at riding him and sez he wants to be inside him and to be him
I think he j-zzed
then they make out
man this is a really f'd up story
I think its based on real events
put it on the history channel
the dr goes on a monologue about the horse saying "why me"
then about how we all start innocent but her twisted by things
later the mom slaps her kid andc the dr makes her leave
she goes on a whiny tirade about parents being blamed for their kids being f'd up
then she pukes
she blames the devil for his pur vustion
the dr sez he's gonna give him a placebo and say its a strong truth drug
the dr sez that society doesn't get him and he's only allowed to "be himself" when he b0nes horses
yeah lets not consider mental illness or chemical/hormone issues
the dr sez the kid has this look in his eyes at them cuz he got to live his dream of fulfilling his fetish
he then whines about his f'd up life and sez his issues are not much different than the horse b0ner
except he's jealous of the kid
his gf then gives him reason and logic and sez he has the power to save the kid
the dr then gives the kid the "truth pill"
he talks about his desire of bathing with the pagan gods in Greece
he asks the kid about the girl but he clams he don't know
he interrogates him further and the girl sez girls find horses sexy
sounds like my little pony
the girl asks him to go see a p0rnoe with her
and she was the only chick in a room fuil of dudes
he compares men looking at the screen to church somehow
then his dad comes in and brings them out
while waiting for the bus the dad sez he was olny there for a poster work job and claims he didn't know they showed those xxx movies
his dad leaves on the bus and he sez he's gonna see the female home
he tells the dr about him realizing men b0ne women
he goes into the stable to b0ne the human female with the horses around
but he cant b0ne a human woman since he kept thinking of the horse
he wanted the horse
she leaves and he asks the horses for forgiveness
aw h-ll no he looks like alex winter from bill and ted
he cant take the horses having seen his sin since he sees horses as gods and he pops their eyes with a sickle
its pretty cool
then the horse owner comes in and knocks him out
the horse b0ner has viet nam seizures from reliving it and the dr sez he'd never see equus again
the dr uts the kid to sleep with a needle(not like a dog. but a tranquilizer) and sez he's gonna make him well
then he sez equus wont leave him easily
this woman sez the dr can heal him but the dr goes on a tirade saying even if he makes him well it isn't right
they try to make him being non insane seem bad
then he talks about him being in chains of mouth and something about being something about equus
the end
that was pretty f'd up
well made
but disturbing and weird
I think its a p0rn0
kinda
like violence jack with all the b0ning and hermaphrodites
ooh
it was made in canada
they got all these weird laws against some p0rnos
some anime is banned these cuz its got SM in it
like cool devices
not sure about night shift nurses
I think its ok after they took out the enemas
for equus 2 I'd like for the horse b0ning guy to have started getting surgery to be made to look more like a horse and start acting more like a real horse. his mom finally finds out and has enough and tries to stop him but the horse b0ning guy wont listen to reason. when he nearly dies from getting injections of horse hormones, his mom has him taen in and has a ritual to free him from demons. The demon possessing him is driven out and the mom has an epic battle with it using holy items and her faith. also equus is really a demon who has been mo lesting his mind to drive him to ruin
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
The Remains Of The Day Review
note; my comps p-ssing out so theres typoes
the remains of the day
this is my review on the remains of the day
I wanted to see it years ago cuz I was into tony Hopkins cuz I thought I;'d like silence of the lambs
too bad that movie s-cked
I was expecting a splatterfest
theres hardly any violence!
and for an alleged cannibal, Anthony hopkinds sure don't eat people
imagine if I made a movier about a kung fu master and he never fought nor really raised his arms over his nipples
bait and switch
so this movie is set in england
this old brit bit it and his home is being sold off and is gon be torn down cuz no one wants it
just sell it to a movie studio
they can film p0rnoes there
I mean...art films
then a guy buys the place and saves it
btw I'm watchimng the widescreen version
gotta hate those black bars
the music soubds like a spy or suspence film
Anthony Hopkins (here by called tony or toni) is a butler
I should note hes not ritish, hes welsh
big difference
like Slovenian and Croatian
or polish and ukranian
or Spanish and portuguese
I think he plays a brit in here though
I assume butler is brit for slave
not american slavery like slave for life
but bible slave like a guy choosing to work for a fam for a time then after a trial, it becomes permanent
this house buyer is american and is a congressman from there who retired and moved to soviet england
his fam comes too
oh and a swarm of dogs
or as its called in korea; food
like how we americans eat burgers
oh, they use the dogs for hunting
what do they do with the dogs out of hunting season?
do they b0ne em?
so toni hires a chick and tells her no dudes at work
don't want her getting preggo
so that's why they b0ne dogs
cant get pregnant by another species
not like imn demon beast invasion where that chick gets fish-pregnant
then toni gets his dad hired by his master
how old is this guy?
im pretty sure this film is set in the 30s
so I'd say this guy was born in the slavery days
also toni is a pretty great actor in here
I hear he lost like 80lbs
that's like a Japanese woman
like my cousins gramma(73lbs)(4'11)
although my gf is 5'3 and 220lbs
then toni disagrees with the chick he hired about calling people by their 1st names
these brits are so formal
its like the military
at dinner he talks to the lower rank slaves about being a good butler
his dad tells a story about a skilled butler capping a tiger in the dining room in india and being totally calm about it
toni's dad seems kinda low power
he needs to get into bodybuilding
jack lalane kcked a55 well into his 90s
later the dad is sweeping up and goes into a secret door
he wanders off and his won cleans up after him
later the masters talk about siding with either the French or germans
one says he heard a speech that made him ashamed to ally with frenchies
another complains about germans not keeping treatys
that reminds me
a lot of sissy liberals think guns have no real use, even by cops, and say we can talk out disputes out to solve anything.
thats why in england guns arnt allowed(not even for cops).
when adolf was taking over europe the brits tried to talk the problem away, and he took over most of europe with little resistance.
then america came in and saved englands candya66 with guns
how ironic
later the lady he hired wastes a lot of time over a small mistake his dad made
later the dad trips and busts his head on patio
later a master talks about how a rival he had in ww1 said after the war they could have a drink as friends
but the treaty ruined his country and he wound up suiciding
now he wants to help the germans
and hes having a meeting could be important so he domt want any screw ups
toni tells his dad teuy've reduced his duties
dad sez te patio stones caused the fall and he waited tables every day for 54 years
what a waste of human life
his dad is gives cleaning dutys and we get a cleaning montage
but unlike 80s films its not as fun
still well made though
the house master sez his godson is getting married and wants for toni to teach him about b0ning
he's getting married and don't know how to breed
what is he? Goku from dbz?
toni awkwardly tries to tell this man whos at least in his 30s how b0ning works
but never gets around to it and leaves
nowadays we learn about b0ming in grade school
like in dbz how Goku was in his 20s when he went super saiyan and gohan was like 11
so the people from countries ,meet and this frenchie wants to oppress the germans
just like in the brothers grim with heath ledger
toni finds his dad not doing well and gripping the wood thing
they carry him into a room
a dr sez hes not well and toni sez hes 75
he don't look it
the slaves make dinner and soon its the last dinner of the conferance
his dad tells him he fell out of love with his mom
and he hopes he was a good dad
at the conference the german woman says she wants peace and for strength
the frenchie sez hes impressed with as desire for peace
he also sez americans don't know the horrors of war
tell that to the confederates
those frechies sure hate the country that saved their candy a55es from the kaizer
the american sez they are nice but don't have any experience in real politix and their noble ideals don't work in real life
the brity claims his "amateur" skills are what he calls "honor" and is glad to be a candy a55 with no real experience running things into the ground(like the democrats)
then the german lady sings an opera like song
the godson(not Rodney Dangerfield) sez he wants to continue his conversation with toni on nature(what toni tried to use to bring up b0ning) but talks about fish
he's got a fish fetish
hes gonna get fish pregnant
you ever hear that legend of that chick who went swimming and started expanding like she was preggo?
turned out she swallowed an octopus egg and when they opened her up there was an octopus in her a55 pipe
on mythbusters they didnt even try swallowing octopus eggs
they just talked with a guy and said its fake based on his word
wait
shes pregnant with a tentacle monster?!
sounds like a bad anime
then the dad bites it from a stroke
toni goes rogue and goes off into town claiming he never met his master
he reads a note from a chick about meeting somewhere
then the master practices his german with servents
one brit talks about racial laws being needed
but then says getting rid of unions is good
I assume its to show that for every bad idea some people have, theres a good one
and that theres good and bad in everyone
the toni seems to be getting into the lady
then this guy reads anti jrwish ideas
yet somehow making Jesus not count as one
strange enough, that's the same logic used to attack the Passion of the Christ
despite the main character being openly jewish and choosing to sacrifice Himself to save everyone (even those who killed Him) they said the film makes jews look bad
its like saying transformers the movie is anti robot since megatron kills optimus
it just doesn't add up
if anything The Passion is anti roman
they were having fun mutilating the main character
so then the master wants to kick out the german speaking servents out for being jewish
toni tries to help em(I think, I wasn't really paying attention)
later toni is driving and runs outta gas
at a bar toni talks with some guys about politics
the brits hate churchill
he was trying to save em and they hated him for it
1 guy at the bar offers him help
he spends the night and hears of fighting for freedom
back at the mansion, a guy talks politics with toni but he don't know about it
then the brit says since toni don't know, he and other commoners shouldn't be allowed to have a part in democracy
on the car ride back, the bar guy sez the former mansion owner tried to appease the axis and he hated him for it
the bar guy asks asks if he agreed with him
toni sez the former owner regretted his actions in the end
wait, is this the future?
the bar guy asks if toni has any feelings of his own and if he was to make any choices, shouldn't they be his own?
toni doesn't know how to answer
later the master wants to know where the german servents went
toni sez he cared for em but the lady sez shes surprised at it cuz he didn't stick up for em enuff
later they talk about him not hiring pretty girls
I assume he fears they will turn him straight
the godson makes out with a chick and they horse around
later the lady wants to know what book toni is reading
she assumes its p0rn0e
its meant playfully
it turns out to be a love story
it looks like theyre gonna kiss or b0ne but he sez he wants to be by himself to read in peace
later this maid is gonna get married to the godson but the lady advises her against
she cares about love and the lady only cares about cash and status and sh-t
wait
I think it might not be the godson
cuz toni sez he could've made the guy an underbust ler
the lady goes b--chy about something she wont tell him about
he don't get she wants him
later the lady talks with a guy who don't wanna work for the master and wants his own life
how american
he wants her to join him in independent enterprise
later the godson(the real one I think) comes back
the lady sez the independent brit wants to marry her
he responds indifferent and formal
the godson wants to see this event that is gonnas happen at the place but the master sez no
some guys come in later and speak german
they talk about peace and how taking ocver Czechoslovakia (hay! I spelled it right on my 1st try!) isn't worth starting a war
the lady returns and sez she accepted the guys marriage offer
she's mad hes not showing any emotion and sez she talks about him with the guy and they lol at him
what a b--ch
he takes it well and is polite
the godson(the real one) tyalks with the toni and sez he knows about the meeting
toni sez its not his place to go against the master
the godson sez the axis is using him for their own ends to gain power (liker unions)
the godson goes on a tirade about wanting to keep the master out of makng a mistake but the toni don't know how to have his own soul
the lady sez shes sorry for being a b--ch but he has no issues with it
he gets a wine bottle and drops it on the stairs and swears(which shocvked me when I saw this back as a youth) and on the way up he hears the lady crying
he sez this place hasn't been dusted in some time
later toni drives somewhere and the lady and her husbando have a boarding house and are decroded
a woman he knows is preggo
they haven't been living together and she meets toni and sez its been 20years
its the 50s!
when people didn't b0ne or do drugs
its said that the master sued a paper for bashing him buit lost and his godson bit it in ww2
ojhhhhh
the opening is in the 50s and its after the former master bit it
it never sez when time zones change
she sez shes gonna be near her grand daughter or son
then sez she wasn't really wanting to leave the place but later got married and had kids then fell in lover
he wants to get back to the place to sort out the staff
they talk at a bus stop and she leaves looking sad
y'see? this is why we should be open about our feelings
if you love someone, let them know!
they cant read minds often and some need it spelled out!
don't risk losing who matters most to you!
turns out the new owner is the american who called out the brits for being candy a55
they free a bird from a chimney and close the window
then we get an arial shot of the masion and the camera flys away
ooh!
the american was christophoer reve
the godson was hugh grant
I didn't recognize either
oh!
this was based on a book
that was quite good
I liked it
not much happens but it keeps your attention
For the remains of the day 2 I'd like it if he finally realized the woman loved him and saw his mistake. he then meets with ex axis scientists and they agree to use black magic to send him back in time to fix his mistake and tell her he loves her. he does so but when he gets back he finds that the change caused the axis to win and he must choose if he gets love or the axis loses (and he's not used to making his own choices so he struggles more than normal people) (spoiler; he chooses love)
the remains of the day
this is my review on the remains of the day
I wanted to see it years ago cuz I was into tony Hopkins cuz I thought I;'d like silence of the lambs
too bad that movie s-cked
I was expecting a splatterfest
theres hardly any violence!
and for an alleged cannibal, Anthony hopkinds sure don't eat people
imagine if I made a movier about a kung fu master and he never fought nor really raised his arms over his nipples
bait and switch
so this movie is set in england
this old brit bit it and his home is being sold off and is gon be torn down cuz no one wants it
just sell it to a movie studio
they can film p0rnoes there
I mean...art films
then a guy buys the place and saves it
btw I'm watchimng the widescreen version
gotta hate those black bars
the music soubds like a spy or suspence film
Anthony Hopkins (here by called tony or toni) is a butler
I should note hes not ritish, hes welsh
big difference
like Slovenian and Croatian
or polish and ukranian
or Spanish and portuguese
I think he plays a brit in here though
I assume butler is brit for slave
not american slavery like slave for life
but bible slave like a guy choosing to work for a fam for a time then after a trial, it becomes permanent
this house buyer is american and is a congressman from there who retired and moved to soviet england
his fam comes too
oh and a swarm of dogs
or as its called in korea; food
like how we americans eat burgers
oh, they use the dogs for hunting
what do they do with the dogs out of hunting season?
do they b0ne em?
so toni hires a chick and tells her no dudes at work
don't want her getting preggo
so that's why they b0ne dogs
cant get pregnant by another species
not like imn demon beast invasion where that chick gets fish-pregnant
then toni gets his dad hired by his master
how old is this guy?
im pretty sure this film is set in the 30s
so I'd say this guy was born in the slavery days
also toni is a pretty great actor in here
I hear he lost like 80lbs
that's like a Japanese woman
like my cousins gramma(73lbs)(4'11)
although my gf is 5'3 and 220lbs
then toni disagrees with the chick he hired about calling people by their 1st names
these brits are so formal
its like the military
at dinner he talks to the lower rank slaves about being a good butler
his dad tells a story about a skilled butler capping a tiger in the dining room in india and being totally calm about it
toni's dad seems kinda low power
he needs to get into bodybuilding
jack lalane kcked a55 well into his 90s
later the dad is sweeping up and goes into a secret door
he wanders off and his won cleans up after him
later the masters talk about siding with either the French or germans
one says he heard a speech that made him ashamed to ally with frenchies
another complains about germans not keeping treatys
that reminds me
a lot of sissy liberals think guns have no real use, even by cops, and say we can talk out disputes out to solve anything.
thats why in england guns arnt allowed(not even for cops).
when adolf was taking over europe the brits tried to talk the problem away, and he took over most of europe with little resistance.
then america came in and saved englands candya66 with guns
how ironic
later the lady he hired wastes a lot of time over a small mistake his dad made
later the dad trips and busts his head on patio
later a master talks about how a rival he had in ww1 said after the war they could have a drink as friends
but the treaty ruined his country and he wound up suiciding
now he wants to help the germans
and hes having a meeting could be important so he domt want any screw ups
toni tells his dad teuy've reduced his duties
dad sez te patio stones caused the fall and he waited tables every day for 54 years
what a waste of human life
his dad is gives cleaning dutys and we get a cleaning montage
but unlike 80s films its not as fun
still well made though
the house master sez his godson is getting married and wants for toni to teach him about b0ning
he's getting married and don't know how to breed
what is he? Goku from dbz?
toni awkwardly tries to tell this man whos at least in his 30s how b0ning works
but never gets around to it and leaves
nowadays we learn about b0ming in grade school
like in dbz how Goku was in his 20s when he went super saiyan and gohan was like 11
so the people from countries ,meet and this frenchie wants to oppress the germans
just like in the brothers grim with heath ledger
toni finds his dad not doing well and gripping the wood thing
they carry him into a room
a dr sez hes not well and toni sez hes 75
he don't look it
the slaves make dinner and soon its the last dinner of the conferance
his dad tells him he fell out of love with his mom
and he hopes he was a good dad
at the conference the german woman says she wants peace and for strength
the frenchie sez hes impressed with as desire for peace
he also sez americans don't know the horrors of war
tell that to the confederates
those frechies sure hate the country that saved their candy a55es from the kaizer
the american sez they are nice but don't have any experience in real politix and their noble ideals don't work in real life
the brity claims his "amateur" skills are what he calls "honor" and is glad to be a candy a55 with no real experience running things into the ground(like the democrats)
then the german lady sings an opera like song
the godson(not Rodney Dangerfield) sez he wants to continue his conversation with toni on nature(what toni tried to use to bring up b0ning) but talks about fish
he's got a fish fetish
hes gonna get fish pregnant
you ever hear that legend of that chick who went swimming and started expanding like she was preggo?
turned out she swallowed an octopus egg and when they opened her up there was an octopus in her a55 pipe
on mythbusters they didnt even try swallowing octopus eggs
they just talked with a guy and said its fake based on his word
wait
shes pregnant with a tentacle monster?!
sounds like a bad anime
then the dad bites it from a stroke
toni goes rogue and goes off into town claiming he never met his master
he reads a note from a chick about meeting somewhere
then the master practices his german with servents
one brit talks about racial laws being needed
but then says getting rid of unions is good
I assume its to show that for every bad idea some people have, theres a good one
and that theres good and bad in everyone
the toni seems to be getting into the lady
then this guy reads anti jrwish ideas
yet somehow making Jesus not count as one
strange enough, that's the same logic used to attack the Passion of the Christ
despite the main character being openly jewish and choosing to sacrifice Himself to save everyone (even those who killed Him) they said the film makes jews look bad
its like saying transformers the movie is anti robot since megatron kills optimus
it just doesn't add up
if anything The Passion is anti roman
they were having fun mutilating the main character
so then the master wants to kick out the german speaking servents out for being jewish
toni tries to help em(I think, I wasn't really paying attention)
later toni is driving and runs outta gas
at a bar toni talks with some guys about politics
the brits hate churchill
he was trying to save em and they hated him for it
1 guy at the bar offers him help
he spends the night and hears of fighting for freedom
back at the mansion, a guy talks politics with toni but he don't know about it
then the brit says since toni don't know, he and other commoners shouldn't be allowed to have a part in democracy
on the car ride back, the bar guy sez the former mansion owner tried to appease the axis and he hated him for it
the bar guy asks asks if he agreed with him
toni sez the former owner regretted his actions in the end
wait, is this the future?
the bar guy asks if toni has any feelings of his own and if he was to make any choices, shouldn't they be his own?
toni doesn't know how to answer
later the master wants to know where the german servents went
toni sez he cared for em but the lady sez shes surprised at it cuz he didn't stick up for em enuff
later they talk about him not hiring pretty girls
I assume he fears they will turn him straight
the godson makes out with a chick and they horse around
later the lady wants to know what book toni is reading
she assumes its p0rn0e
its meant playfully
it turns out to be a love story
it looks like theyre gonna kiss or b0ne but he sez he wants to be by himself to read in peace
later this maid is gonna get married to the godson but the lady advises her against
she cares about love and the lady only cares about cash and status and sh-t
wait
I think it might not be the godson
cuz toni sez he could've made the guy an underbust ler
the lady goes b--chy about something she wont tell him about
he don't get she wants him
later the lady talks with a guy who don't wanna work for the master and wants his own life
how american
he wants her to join him in independent enterprise
later the godson(the real one I think) comes back
the lady sez the independent brit wants to marry her
he responds indifferent and formal
the godson wants to see this event that is gonnas happen at the place but the master sez no
some guys come in later and speak german
they talk about peace and how taking ocver Czechoslovakia (hay! I spelled it right on my 1st try!) isn't worth starting a war
the lady returns and sez she accepted the guys marriage offer
she's mad hes not showing any emotion and sez she talks about him with the guy and they lol at him
what a b--ch
he takes it well and is polite
the godson(the real one) tyalks with the toni and sez he knows about the meeting
toni sez its not his place to go against the master
the godson sez the axis is using him for their own ends to gain power (liker unions)
the godson goes on a tirade about wanting to keep the master out of makng a mistake but the toni don't know how to have his own soul
the lady sez shes sorry for being a b--ch but he has no issues with it
he gets a wine bottle and drops it on the stairs and swears(which shocvked me when I saw this back as a youth) and on the way up he hears the lady crying
he sez this place hasn't been dusted in some time
later toni drives somewhere and the lady and her husbando have a boarding house and are decroded
a woman he knows is preggo
they haven't been living together and she meets toni and sez its been 20years
its the 50s!
when people didn't b0ne or do drugs
its said that the master sued a paper for bashing him buit lost and his godson bit it in ww2
ojhhhhh
the opening is in the 50s and its after the former master bit it
it never sez when time zones change
she sez shes gonna be near her grand daughter or son
then sez she wasn't really wanting to leave the place but later got married and had kids then fell in lover
he wants to get back to the place to sort out the staff
they talk at a bus stop and she leaves looking sad
y'see? this is why we should be open about our feelings
if you love someone, let them know!
they cant read minds often and some need it spelled out!
don't risk losing who matters most to you!
turns out the new owner is the american who called out the brits for being candy a55
they free a bird from a chimney and close the window
then we get an arial shot of the masion and the camera flys away
ooh!
the american was christophoer reve
the godson was hugh grant
I didn't recognize either
oh!
this was based on a book
that was quite good
I liked it
not much happens but it keeps your attention
For the remains of the day 2 I'd like it if he finally realized the woman loved him and saw his mistake. he then meets with ex axis scientists and they agree to use black magic to send him back in time to fix his mistake and tell her he loves her. he does so but when he gets back he finds that the change caused the axis to win and he must choose if he gets love or the axis loses (and he's not used to making his own choices so he struggles more than normal people) (spoiler; he chooses love)
Friday, June 3, 2016
Double Indemnity Review
note, my typing can be better
double indemnity
this is my review on double indemnity
I hear fred macmurry got hate for doing a serious movie instead of some silly family comedy
so he spent the rest of his career doing good guy parts
I think if an actor can do both hero and villain its a sign of skill
daisuke gouri did both in hokuto no ken and dbz
markl hammil was the joker in batman the animated series
and dan green played yugi, knuckles the echidna and entei but was the bad guy in a few other shows
it starts with credits and a guy on crutches
then a gu goes to a closed building and is let in by a small guy
hes called mr Neff
the guy played by fred macmurry
he goes to see an office full of desks like in "the crowd" (20s film) then goes to his office to have a smoke
good music btw
he records a confession to a guy and is all sweaty
he sez this guy fingered the wrong guy on a wacking and hes the real killer
he did it for cash and a dame but got neither
he tells his story and the next most of the film is his narrated flashback
last may he was an insurance salesman and went to a chix place to talk to her husband
I think hes gay for her
they talk about insurance for a bit
he sets up another meeting and drives off
also he keeps narrating little details like its from a book in a sub section
ooh, Edward g robinson is in this
I liked him in hatchet man
in there he plays a chinees assassin in sanfran sisco in the 1930s
in here he kicks a mentally challenged guy out for some thing I wasn't paying attention to
he talks with Neff (wasn't that the name of the guy from altered beast on sega genesis in the 80s?)
Neff gets a message to meet at a different time but he's busy then
but he goes to see her anyway
they talk for a while about insurance and other things I donty really care about
her husband nearly bit it in his work (wait, it was a co worker) and she seems worried about him
she sez her husband is stubborn and don't want insurance so she wants to get it behind his back(that sounds wrong)
he suggests she might be trying to ice him to get the cash
he leaves and goes boweling then at home he watches the rain as it gets dark
sounds like hes got mental issues
she comes in and they hug and talk lusty
I assume they were b0ning in the real version
he warms up to the idea of wacking her husband and drinks water with her
I assume they were doing drugs in the real version
sh whines about her husbands issues and how she wants him iced and money
we don't hear his side of the story
maybe shes just a b==ch and exaggerates his badness
he agrees to get him the life insurance thing and wack him
isn't this just "the postman always rings twice"??
he meets with the woman and husband and hes kinda grouchy over what his wife puts him through
he signs some paper and the Neff and the blonde talk
he sez if the husband bites it on a train the policy pays DOUBLE INDEMNITY since its less likely to bit it on there
they never saw the hands of orlock, white heat and the great train robbery
later the nef talks with the blondes daughter and she don't wanna give up her italiano boyfriend
he gives her a ride to the bf and hes kind of a malcontent
the Neff meets the blonde at stores so they don't have any evidence of them meeting or phonecalls or letters
she sez hes not going by train cuz he busted his leg
he sez wait but she cant handle him living
a week later she calls him and sez her man is going on the train
but Edward g robinson (the guy he's recording the message to) comes in and offers him a different better job
he goes home and has a convoluted plan of alibi's to fake being home
he walks over to their place and hides in the back of the car
like that urban legend of the car ramming this chick driving and it turned out he was trying to warn her of the psycho in the backseat
she goes to a dark road and gives the signal and the Neff kids the husband offscreen
since it didn't show it,i assume he b0ned him dead
he makes a fake cast and gets on the train
he goes out baxk to smoke but a friendly guy talks to him
the zeff asks the friendly guy to get his cigar case and jumps off the train when he leaves
the blonde is in the car with the corpse and puts the body where the guy jumped off
after minor car trouble they go back and he kissed her
I assume they b0ned in the uncut version
he checks his alibi traps and its clear
he makes sure he's seen and starts feeling dredd
when you kill someone it changes you
my grampa had issues after the war
the investigation seems clear and the company is gonna pay out
but a higher up sez he senses something is off
hes psychic
his 6th sense
but he says he thinks its a suicide
and if so, the company is off the hook
Edward g robimson points out that the facts don't ad up to suicide
then points out statustics and logic
later Edward g robimnson comes in and sez he noticed something
he had accident insurance but never claimed his broken leg
and he suspects the blonde
the blonde is outside the door and hears him
but she just misses him and hides behind the door as he leaves
later the daughter sez she had a bad feeling
she had the same feeling when the blonde iced her birth mom
and the blonde had the same look in her eyes b4 icing the husband as when she iced the daughters mom
the daughter moved out and is having bf issues
the zeff spends time with her in a non lusty fashion
later the Edward g robinson meets with him and he sees the friendly guy from the train
the Edward g robinson has figured out how they faked the train kill
and he brought the friendly guy from Oregon to test it
the friendly guy sez the guy he saw on the train isn't the husband
he inquires where he saw Neff but the Neff denies all possibilitys
later the Neff calls the blionde from the market or store or w/e I said b4 but don'twanna search for to check the word I used
he sez he got in their soap she likes and to pick it up
they meet and talk
he wants to pull out but she wants to go all the way for the money(that sounded wrong)
she sez him meeting her is what got her to go through with it
later the daughter thinks her bf was the one who iced her dad with the blonde
then the Edward g rondinson sez he is going to court to nail that b--ch and the bf
in his office the Neff finds that the edweard g riobinsob has defended him and the bf has no alibi while the Neff does
he goes to see her and tells her that he's getting away with it while she's going straight to h-ll
she sez she was seeing the bf to suggest the daughter is cheating on him so he'd be mean to her
she caps him but then stops and sez she never loved anyone
she seems to have grown a heart
then he puts 2 slugs in her
I'd love it if he said b4 capping her; see you in h-ll baby!
he then talks to the bf and tries to heal their relationship
then it returns to the guy talking into the recorder
and the Edward g robinson shows up
he's been here a while
he tries to call a dr
but he's given up since he thinks he's just gonna get the gas for murder
he tells the Edward g robinson he wants the Edward g robinson to go back to bed while he goes to mexico
he collapses and tells the Edward g robinson that the reason he didn't figure out the truth was his foe was too close
keep your friends close and your enemies closer
but don't let them know which is which
the Edward g robinson lights the Neff's cigarette and it ends
that was a good movie
I liked fred macmuerry in here
he was good
I never saw his silly Disney comedys
but this was well done
wasn't he in that bee movie with that brit Michael caine b--ching aboutamerica?
for double indemnity 2 I'd like it to have Neff having been spared from the gas chamber if he agreed to be used for medical research. his bullet filled body was rebuilt with mechanical parts and he is then given a chance to use his enhanced body to hunt for crooks to earn some time off his sentence for each crook he catches. Also the mechanical parts are equipped with monitor devices and shock devices that zap him if he goes against their will. also the daughter and the italiano bf are married and shes really pregnant with a lot of babies in her
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)