The Killer Shrews Review

note; your used to my bad typing

the killer shrews

this is my review foer the killer shrews

I hear its pretty bad

I hope so

I like bad films

I haven't seen this b4 so this is a new experience for me

although sometomes watching a film a few times gives insight

he 1st tiome I saw violence jack slumking (1986) I loved it

but each time after I noticed more and more errors

it starts with a science lesson on shrewz being the most vicious anuimal around

then mentions the "giant killer shrew"

after the opening credits it goes to 2 guys driving a boat

they go to some island and notice a strange trail

they then meet a few people including a man and his adult dauighter

its always a guy amnd his daughter

as they aint leaving the captain or skipper or w/e stays there and his black guy worker starts unloading

he notices somwetjhong weird about their place

something about a huirricane

the dad sez they are self sufficient there and have cows for milk

the boat guy then meets a nerdy looking dr

but he seems more like he's faking nerdyness

like superman

its said the dr works on genetics and isd only interested in his project

does he have autism?

he works on animal size and metabolism

and sez f we were half opur size we'd live 2x as long

well...

my moms gramma was 4'6 and made it to almost 100

Lillian gish wasn't tall and lived long

and the last survivors of the wizard of oz were midgets

the girl invites the captain for dinner

the dr has a 28 month old shrew with low metabolism

the captain asks how big they get but the dad gets suspicious

btw the film is in proper fullscreen

no black bars

the dad tlks about shrew eating habits

they eat 3x their weight every 254 hours or starve

they also eat bones

I;'m learngning

wow, 15 mins went by

it didn't feel like it

a storm begins to happen

the girl talks about leaving a cage open and the guy she's talking to is sickl f being called a drunk

then quit drinking!

she talks to the casptain but the drunk returns

oh, she and the drunk are engafed

meanwhile the black guy shoots at an unseen thing and runs

he climbs a tree but these animals come or him

the black guy always bites it in these films

the drunk sez hes gonna do the expeiments with the dad but no ne will stop him

then the tree he's I falls and the monsters getv the black guy

lightning hits a tree and falls

the captaimn wants to go out but the girl sez no one goes out after dark

she tells him about shrews and sez theyre awful

I think Canada geese are worse

hope they go extinct

she sez theres killer shrews the size of a wolf out there and theyre huingry

and theres 300 of em

like the number of guys in that speedo movie

the dad comes in and tells him theyre experiments made shrews grow and they escaped

then they started breeding

they tried to wipe em out and they only come out at night to feed unless hungry

he's hoping they eat eacjother

the girl talks with da captain and he wants to take her from the island

but the shrwews have got the livestock

they dug under the dirt floor to get past the fence

as the island is isolated the dad didn't think the gov or military is needed

also they cant swim

this is starting to sound like Jurassic park

they plan to leave the next day as its night now

later the drunk talks with the Italian guy and they work together for their own schemes

reminds me of Robotech II The Sentinels how T R Edwards works with Benson

as the drunk is drunk, he has the Italian (named Mario) take his turn to patrol but to get the drunk instead of the captain

he wants to be a manly man

after he closes a window with string, the Italian tells the captain a sherw got in and is in the celler

the captain gets his gun and they go into the celler

they look around to dramatic music but the shrew mauls the Italians leg

the shrew (which looks bad a55) is capped

the other guys come down but the Italian bites it

but he didn't bleed out

the shrew bites are toxic

and they r mutants who gained new abilities

the girl is revealed to be a zoologist who studies diet

turns out the dad put poison to kill the shrews but they gained it as a power up

so they are like the symbiote from spider man]

or rogue from xmen

the captain plans to use the dead shrew as bait so they can get to the boat

but nothing happens when they do

the captain goes out but the drunk holds him at gunpoint to let the shrews get hijm

but he fights him off and gets the gun

they get to the boat but the blackguy isn't there

the drunk canrt swin and wont go back sio he wants the captain to give him a gun

being smart, he don't

they find the black guy's clothes

good use of a forest setting

the shrews are coming so he gives the drunk a gun

they run back to the back but the drunk gets in 1st and keeps the captain out

so he climbs the wall and beats ump the drunk

a sheew gets in and bites the dr so they cap it

the dr bites it and they clost the door to the kitchen where theres more of em

the drunk starts freakimn out so the captain slaps his a55 around

then shrews start to come inthrough wall weakpoints

so they cover em with furniture

they escape to a shed or something and find chemical drums as armor to escape in

as in hiding in em and using them to defend themselves

they start welding em together but a sherew come in

so her blowtjorches it

I can see the animal rights commies going mental over this

they finish the drum thing but the drunk wants to stay behind and fight from the roof

they get in the drum tank and open the gate with string

then they do the duck walk to get to the beach as the shrews attack

I notice the chick looks a bit like the blonde from Jurassic park

they start tiring out so the guy does most of the work

why not rest fort a bit?

the drunk runs and gets swarmed and devoured

the chick gets het bot took buy the shrews

thery get to the water and swim to the boat

the dad sez in 24 hours the shrews will eat eachother

and that its cuz of overpopulation

the captain sez he wont worry about overpopulation just yet

then makes out with the guys daughter

that means they're gonna breed!

maybe they were b0ning in the boat in front of the dad in the real version

well... he's European SO HE must be used to it

the end

I liked this

its an ok film with good tropes of the era

nothing to really hate

for the killer shrews 2 I'd like for the girl to be pregnant with the captains kid and has really tubbed up. but it turns out she's been infected with shrew dna from the boot swiping and shes gotten pregnant with a shrewman baby. also theres shrews who have eaten birds and whales and gained flight and swimming powers and have escaped the island to eat and absorb more abilities until they become grotesque chimeric abominations and only the shrewman can take em on with its advanced growth rate(also its a female shrewman and is a curvy furry)