The Old Man And The Sea Review

note; u know the drill, bad typing

the old man and the sea

this is my review on the old man and the sea (1958 ver)

its got spencer tracey

and its by Hemmingway or something

I recall he blew his brains out

ooh, its I\n color

aw, its wideascreen

it starts with colorful images of nature and water like the 86 fist of the north star movie

this old dude hasn't caught any fish for 84 days

1984 is when fist of the north star started

also this young boy who helped him fish went to another boat

traitor!

he takes his boat stuff and goes home

then the kid and the man have beer

kids drinking?

you cant even show that in shows nowadays

naruto censored rock lee getting hammered in the dub

I hear this film is set in cuba

I assume its b4 the commies took over

back to beer

one guy I was talking to (who's ok with abortion) was disturbed by European parents giving their kids a bit of wine

said; it can cause damage

kinda ironic

at night the man wants the kid to go to the other boat

they talk a bit and the kid goes home

nowadays an old man hanging out with a young boy would be seen as suspect

back then in da 50s people were less lusty and had cleaner minds

at this bar the kid has only 60 cents

that was a lot in the 50s

the kid returns at sundown and the man is sleeping

he calls him "old man"

don't people have names?

they talk about baseball and horses offscreen

he wants to take tjhis guy called DiMaggio fishing

I assume they mean the guy who played bender on futurama

the kid wonders why geezers wake up early

the old man(I will call geezer now) dreams of his African childhood

boating and being by the sea

the ocean terrifies me

its a boundless abyss

an infinite void

they lose ur body they, its never getting found

might as well be in space

wait, I think I said that in a previous review

early the geezer wakes up and gets the boy

its been like 20 mins and nothing happened

plus most of the story is told by a narrator

they and the other fishermen bring their boat masts to the boats and go out to sea

how long is this movie?

they go in different boats (wait, da boy stays on land) as da sun comes out homie

I hear a 7000lb great white was caught in cuba in the 50s

el monstro

this like a freakin dinosaur!

the narrator describes the geezers fishing style and he later sees a bird

this is like reading someones twitter

just normal things and thoughts and actions

a big a55 fish catches his line and he uses his hands to let the line go out
wont that cut off his fingers?

after a while of him talking to himself he sez he wants the fish to eat the hook and it to shank its heart

the fish pulls the geezers boat by the line

wtf

he wraps the line behind his back
its gonna cut him in half like in ghost ship

4 hours later this fish is still pulling

later its sundown and hes still pulling and suspecting what kind of fish or its backstory and gender

he relates to the fish as both are out there alone and in the far sea

later a separate fishing pole breaks and he cuts the line

he hooks a line on his baby toe but the fish jerks and he falls in his boat

he sez to the fish he loves/respects him but will ice him

once at high school I was eating a burger and had a thought that almost ruined it

what was the cow like when it was alive?

thankfully I wasn't turned vegan

those guys aint right

he kees talking the the fish that's deep underwater

as a kid when playing spider man vs the kingpin I was facing venom and yelled at the tv to weaken his symbiote like it would have an effect

the line cuts the geezers hand

maybe if you didn't hold a small rope with your bare hand it wouldn't happen

his hand is cramping up and then we get real footage of a sword fish or w/e jumping that don't really blend with the movie

also most of the movie is tracey imn front of a fake background with the camera moving up/down

later its raining and he sez eventhough hes not religious he's gonna say 10 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Father's to catch the fish

also he's gonna go to a place to pray to a Saint

he recalls his armwrestling a big black guy years ago for like 30 hours

this is like saint seiya  with warriors fighting for weeks at a time

he wins against the black guy

I assume it wasn't like in yugioh where the winner gets to live

offscreen he catches a dolphin and eats it

I hear dolphin isn't very good

maybe with some miso soup and good tempura it would be

oh and wasabi

love wasabi

once I was having sushi with my yugioh homie and he said

do you dare me to eat this wasabi?

no

then I dare myself(eats it) mmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

good times]

after like another full day he's still gone w/o sleep

he needs pepsi

maybe mountain dew

he rests with his arm on the line and has various dreams

like whales b0ning

I was once watching a doc on whale reproduction(whale p0rn0) and it showed the right whae with its 9 foot tentacle d0ng

also once I saw a whale autopsy and this he a55 whae was being lifed on a crane and its d0ng came out

maybe that's where la blue girl gets it?

so the geezer wakes up and the fush s jumping around like a hyper kid who just heard the power rangers intro

its clearly tracey's hands in front of recorded footage of a big a55 fish

they also reuse the same clip

if he had a gun he could just cap the fish

the fish fills its sacs with air and wont dive deep

did spencer tracey stay up for 3 days to film this?

day 3; he's still at it

once I was playing "high seas havoc" on sega and its a really hard (but awesome) game

rather than turn it off and start over, I just left my sega on for like over 40 hours with me taking sleep whiz and food breaks

the geezer sees the fish as a giant he size of a freakin dinosaur

his eyes are giving out

one i had an epic clash!

for over 20 hours i faced advance wars 2

no sleep. no rest. just playing and occasionally taking breaks to whiz or shovel snow w/o a shirt or socks.

i faced that final battle over and over. trying different things.

i reset and got a feeling; this is it.

i was burning out. my eyes couldnt focus. i was making mistakes.

but i busted his D ray and the dialogue started.

did i win? i won... i wonnnnnn!!

grand game with a worthy challenge

so thr geezer catches the fish and shanks it with a spear

its pretty big

then a shark comes fr his fish

he shanks it with a harpoon(with real footage of a shark getting shanked)

eat that PETA!

fanatical animal gutter supremacists

the big fish was cut up by da shark and bled

so more sharks are coming

he makes a spear with a blade tied to a stick

then more sharks attack

nowadays he'd be the bad guy for killing fish

it shows real shaRKS getting shanked and gushing blood

bad a55

like in men behind the sun how they used real corpses for their dismemberment scenes

he then gets a stick and beats the sharks

he should collect the sharks and eat em

after the fight he sez hes sorry to the fish for going out too far

but the fish is da one who pulled him

in men behind the sun they had farmers collect rats for a scene where they eat a cat(lick bloodcolored honey off it)

later they set the rats on fire

the farmers were happy

what else would they do? release em back on the farms to blight the people?

later more sharks come

he fights but his bod gives out

the fish eat the big a55 fish and he comes home with a big a55 fish head and its huge skeleton

make weapons out of those bones

its night and he walks home but is wiped out

the boy comes in and puts a blanket on him

why didn't the man cut off chunks of the fish and keep em in his boat?]

in the AM the boat people measure the fish bones

the boy brings the geezer coffee

hes down but the boy stands up and gives him a confidence boost

later the geezer is dreaming of lions in Africa

the end

for the old man and the sea 2 I'd like the boy top have grown up and is trying to be a fisherman but the big gov and animal rights groups are trying to ban fishing since they care more about animals that would eat them instead of people who have souls. not wanting to lose his way of life, the boy starts a human supremacy group to promote human rights and show humans are the one true ultimate life form on earth. this leads to attacks by animal rights groups who want to ban anything involving animals saying since they banned cockfighting it set a precedent that animals can have supremacy over humans.