Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Anna And The King Of Siam Review

note; yeah my typinings bad. but you love it
anna and the king of siam
this is my review on the king of siam
I know they made a musical of it called the king and I
but this is the uncut true story
they didn't tone down the darker cr-p for a general audience
think good yugioh to yugioh arcv
people bit it
not "sealed in cards"
we get crow back but not anna?
crow s-cked!
and anna's replacement doesn't even use anna's high level cards.
get aids arc v
so we get some tital text like star wars and it sez in da 1860s
the king of siam has a chick from england come over to teach his kids english
it also sez the country is barbaric
typical britmo's
feeling superiority over anyone different
so the king has a harem of 1000 chix and he b0nes em all
after some q/a with the staff she findas women dont have much rights there
and she was kinda b--chy to the staff
later she sez sorry
they meet this big buff guy and whines about not getting her own place
she don't wanna live in the palace
why not?
the buff guy explains they have more important sh-t and shes gonna gotta wait
later she goes mental over not wanting to sleep in a bed w/o her own sheets on it
this is why people don't like foreigners
they don't wanna be real citizens but just wanna turn the new country into the old one
this film promotes negative stereotypes of gaijin
later the woan is shown the custom to greet the king
but she don't like it
and since the whole country revolves around her, she wants to do her own thing
if you don't like a country you aint being forced to live there!
either poop or get off the pot!
her son wants to follow tradition but his mom don't want him to
she meets the king and he asks her age
she sez 150
but the max human lifespan now is 120
he tests her and trumps her lies
he finds shes not afraid and likes it
he shows her his wives and some have big butts
also he wants people in siam to speak English/be modern
then he brings his many children in
67 kids
that's a lot of b0ning
Genghis khan b0ned way more and had more kids
later on june 12 1862 the king goes mental on his birthday
a newspaper said hes a "spare" man
he thinks it means like extra
but the woman sez it also means thin
like boning up on pokemon
and b0ning pokemon
she goes mental over him not giving her a place of her own
what a b--ch
later she gets it
but she don't like it
what a b--ch
when in rome, do as the romans do
don't go to a pizza place and whine about wanting sushi
while teaching some chix she finds 1 woman knows some English from Christian missionaries
she teaches em phrases that promote her crusade on the king
later the king (not elvis or bb) gets gifts from people and 1 is a chick
also he sees an English quote on a thing from englin\d about honor
his son sez stuff the teacher taught him
propaganda views against his work
later the king finds Cambodia joined the frenchies
although I hate having to press C 3x to get to Canada on country lists
Cambodia and Cameroon can get out
the king sez theres nothing to be done
the buff guy sez hes the one who got the king to be king and he was in a monastary
and that Europe is after his countries a55
he gives the woman a house cuz hes sick of putting up wth her sh-t
he should've had her a55 whipped
but she sez she don't want it cuz shes a b--ch
she tries to leave but some fat chix grab her
the buff guy asks her to stay in siam and sez the king is lonley
he seems like a good ruler
like napoleon or zee kaizer
not those brit butts
the buff guy sez the king tries hard to be strong like his dad but also has to be modern to keep up with the Europeans trying to take over
Europe thinks they are barbaric and want to rule em
funny, the opening called it barbaric
later the wo man is teaching English and 1 chick has a monkey
she wants to kick the monkey girl out but the girl is brave
shes the new fave of the king
also the prince is confused reading a book saying the world is round
he sez it rids the back of a huge turtle who keeps it from running into stars
her son gave the prince the book
later this older chick (the princes mom) talks with the womam
then the son and prince fought
the prince said the boy wasn't a man for saying sorry to a woman
later the king calls the woman to him in the middle of the night
its cuz he thinks bad of Moses for saying in the Holy Bible that the earth was made in 6 days
and he's an evolutionist!!
she tries to explain it w/o really choosing a side
she goes back to her room whining about being woke up at 3 am
B I G A P P L E 3 A M
but she hears a baby crying
the next day she talks to the monkey girl about her slave
the woman holding the baby who was chained up
the monkey girl sez the slave tried to escape
and shes jealous over the slave having a husband who she loves and the monkey girl has to b0ne the king
the woman goes to the king but the conversation turns to her showing disrespect in his countries way
holding her head higher than his
she refuses to use the customs of the country she's in
she whines about the king being above the law
when the brits worship their regent and give her superior rights no brits whine
the king points out the queen has high rights but she claims she follows the law
yeah she never had anyone wacked
then they talks about lincon
but wasn't he the bad guy?
I mean hows the confederates different than George Washington?
the king sides with lincon and when he finds theres no elephants in america, sends a letter to lincon
he wants to send a buncha pairs of male elephants to start a population in amerioca to give americans a chance to hunt and catch and train em
I don't think that's how breeding works
unless he means hermaphrodite elephants
this country has slave owners rights and america is fighting over several things(including slave owners rights)
yet he sides with lincon
the monkey girl goes mental over the king listening to the woman over her and smashes something expensive
later lincon sends a letter to the king saying they don't want his elephants
its probably cuz they were gay
since he wanted to send pairs of male elephants
later a mr ed ramsey is coming over and the king worries the guy will think hes a barbarian
also the king intercepted the mail and found brits think hes a barbarian
he wants the ed ramsey to see his place as compatible with europeans
so he has women dress in big poofy dresses
but they go commando
and the woman don't think its good
so he makes undies
also he has forks and knifes and spoons made
under pressure of workers getting beat 100x
were there unions in charge nothing would be done in time
later all these people arrive for a dinner
he has some interesting and borderline autistic thoughts in conversation
he later has good dinner conversation offscreen
then has a show of Siamese history done in dance
during it the napkins arrive even though diner is over
and he hands em out
later somethings going on
the monkey girl ran away offscreen and was recently found
she was out b0ning a young Buddhist priest or w/e
she claims they didn't know she was a chick
sounds like a springer ep
the priest was whipped and the monkey girl sez she was gonna marry him but was got by the king
she claims she never b0ned him and they have her whipped since they don't believe her
the woman interferes and the king says he approved it
was this in the king and I?
I never saw dat
the woman sez she wants the woman to have a trial
but the king sez; I am da law! like he's judge dredd
the wo man goes on a wordy monologue/tirade to guilt him into changing his mind
he don't all for it and wants to make her watch him b0ming the monkey girl dead
the priest and monkey girl aRe BURNED At the stake together
pretty sure that was censored in the king and I
they disney'd it!
like the hunchback of notre dame where no one bites it
imagine them doing hamlet
later shes gonna skip town but the chix give her a letter saying thanx
the princes mom tells a story of how her wall paper tells her story
its kinda lion king like about life and reproduction
the princes mom sez if she helped him the prince(or maybe kin)(no its prince) could've advanced beyond his dad
then a horse falls and some kid riding bites it
I think its the womans son
the king writes a royal thing saying sept 12 is a day to remember the kid
and the woman gets a title
the buff guy sez te king is trying to say sorry about the woman he torched
sorry for the1st time in his life
the prince offers to give back an item the son gave him
but the mom sez its his
so the prince offers his white elephant to her since he never gave the son anything
this is a great movie
it has heart
when talking with the king she crys and hes nice to her
later we get a montage for a few years of her talking with people and setting up consilates
then it turns out the king was ill and has a long scene of him with the woman
they drag it out like with opimus prime in transformers the movie
he thanks her for saying the truth to her even when he didn't wanna hear it
good advice
if you love someone, don't hide the truth from em
be honest even if they deny it and are hiding from truth
then he bites it and the woman sez no one got him and he was caring
the prince ascends to king
he ends the custom of being lower than the king
I thoughts the prince bites it
must be thinking of something else
the end
I liked this
its good
but I should watch the king and I to compare
for anna and ther king of siam 2 I'd like for the 21st century king of siam to use a necromancer to contact her for advice and she sez to take over the world. he does so and uses advanced weapons made from black arts and they dominate the local area. but it turns out that the anna the necromancer contacted was really a daemon who took her form and wanted to blight the world with evil.

No comments:

Post a Comment