Frankenstein Review

Nite; still cant type. big surprise there

Frankenstein

This is my review on Frankenstein(1930s ver)

its got boris Karloff and a buncha homies no one remembers

we've all heard the story or seen parody's of it over the last century or so

I remember seeing the Kenneth brannah version which was pretty good

better than bram stokers Dracula

that film s-cked

just lust and comically bad scenes

this film is based on a book from the 1800s

I like films based on boox and the 1800s

it stars with a guy warning that this film is "too much" for some people

I mean yeah in the 30s it was a lot

but now we got the human centipede

the opening credits have a cool look to em

ooh, james whale directed diss

and boris Karloff isn't credited

just a ?

so we get a funeral and this purvo is watching from the bushes

his master keeps him down

that's disgusting

after the grave is filled in and everyone goes home, the degenerates come out and dig him up

are they gonna b0ne it?

this is like ed gein

wait

ed gein was 50s and this was made in the 30s

the master sez the corpse is resting, waiting for new life to come

his life as a butt slave!!

on the way home they find a hanged man

the purvo cuts him down but the master sez the necks broke and brain is useless

brain fetish?!

btw

of course the nex broke! he was hanged!

then we get a dr teaching a class about the difference between a normal and abnormal brain

nowadays calling someone abnormal due to mental f'd ness is politically incorrect

some people are attracted to the living

some to the dead

doesn't make either right or wrong

the purvo(who's a hunchback btw) sneaks in and steals a brain

then we get a scene where the master's gf sez the master contacted her

he's living in an abandoned tower and does experiments

necrophililia isn't an experiment

unless you mean like "experimenting in college"

the gf and the gf's homie meet with a guy about the master(who's also a dr)

the guy sez the master left the university as the human pieces used in his experiments wernt good enuff

he wanted to kill and revive things

te master is dr Frankenstein

they go to see him

then we get this cool looking lab which would look awful in widescreen

btw I didn't see it but the purvo dropped the good brain and took the abnormal brain

I wasn't paying attention

the master (dr f) is ready to bring a corpse made of many corpses back to life

and he's using a storm to do so

dr f and the purvo are interrupted by people banging on the door

he eventually lets them in

wow, we're 20 mins in and it feels like nothing

he wants em to leave but they don't wanna

so lets em up

after they come up he locks the door

why?

is someone after him?

is he paranoid?

he wants to prove hes not crazy

the pc term is sanity challenged

he sez he found a ray beyond ultra violet that can bring life

he experimented on animals and kept a heart beating for 3 weeks

he sez the body on the table never lived but he made it(outta stolen corpses)

but it has lived.

its made of once living sh-t

he raises it up and into the lightening

lightening force! (thunderforce 4)

when it comes down its moving

the dr f freaks out saying ITS ALIVE!

he sez he knows how it feels to be God cuz he made life

God did it better

and 1st

later the gf is with her dad and he thinks dr f is with another chick

maybe when he was b0ning the corpses like ed gein or that gay xxx star cannibal in canada

also a wedding is gonna happen but its getting delayed

wedding peach!

wedding peach vs Frankenstein?

wedding peach vs blackenstein!

the bearenstein bears vs blackenstein!

yeah that's a crossover!

so dr f sez some poetic words and finds out the brain stolen was from a criminal

what was his crime?

public j-rkin off?

imagine the Frankenstein monster j-rkin off in public and making weird noises

heeee heeeeeeeeeeee

its like j fk's dad after his crippling

then the monster comes in

he looks iconic

he seems mentally slow

maybe the abnormal criminal was just mentally challenged and didn't know betrer

frankensteins monster is ret-rded!?

that changes everything

they show him light from the open ceiling but he reaches for it like Edward elric in full metal alchemist

the purvo comes in with a torch and Karloff freaks out

the purvo keeps tormenting him with the fire

they chain him up in the basement like the epileptic brother in the kings speech

but the purvo keeps tormenting it with a whip and fire

is this Castlevania?

then we hear screaming and the dr gets there the prvo is dead

he b0ned him dead

the brain dr sez to kill it but dr f sez that's murder

so they put him to sleep with drugs

hes kinda like an ape in here with his movements and noises

like king kong(made 2 years later)

the gf and  dad are coming so he hides the monster in the basement

this is like a bad sit com

the wifes homie keeps them busy

wait

I think the dad is the dr f's dad

baron Frankenstein

dr f is burned out from fighting the boris Karloff so they give him booze

they want the dr f to come home

the brain dr is gonna cut apart the boris but it wakes up and wacks his a55

he starts choaking him but it fades out

I assume he b0ned him dead

then he goes outside

later dr f marries his gf

in the village the boris meets as little girl

they play games by throwing flowers in the water

when they run outta flowers he throws her in expecting her to float

she bites it

wtf

shes like 8

why cant she swim?!

and its right at the edge of the water

its not that deep!

when I was 8 I went to the beach and pool in my little speedo

I went everywhere in my speedo

riding a bike in a speedo

wearing a speedo instead of undies

hope no pedo files are imagining that

not that theres anything wrong with that

to9 be fair; I hang around in my place in my undies all the time

sometimes I'm only wearing real clothes like 3x a week

at the wedding party the gf has a premonition of danger

shes psychic like jean gray

then the dr f hears the brain dr is iced

and they hear a growl and know the monster is in there

wtf

they hear a growl?

but cant tell where it is?

as they look the boris is in the room with the gf

we don't see what happened

but afterward shes freaked out

I think he b0ned her

then the farmer brings in his dead kid

The town gets freaked out over a dead kid
just like when a kid does something stupid with a toy and gets crippled and the public goes mental over banning the toy or preventing this 1/1million accident from happening again

also dr f wants to kill the boris Karloff with his own hands

this would make a good video game

not like the cr-ppy marry Shelley's Frankenstein on sega/snes

that game s-cked

bram stokers Dracula was better(on sega)

they track the monster up the mountain and in this mad max looking area

the dr f faces his monster but its not scared of fire

it kicks his a55

then carries him off to b0ne

dr f is a scientist who works with corpses

he should know the bodies weak points

as in joints and such

cant he aim for those and take him down?

the boris Karloff takes the dr f to a windmill and the town sets it on fire

dr f wakes up and they fight

he throws the dr f off the windmill and he busts on a windmill blade b4 falling down

normally that would kill someone

the windmill is on fire and the boris Karloff is freaking out

the windmill falls apart and burns down

afterward the dr f is recovering from getting killed by the monster

people were tougher in the 1800s

my great grampa was bad a55

the end

I liked this

and it wasn't that long either

like lon chaney's "the unknown"

I can see why it was so parodied

its classic and grand

for Frankenstein 2 I'd like dr f to be crippled from his windmill hit and is using his science to rebuild his broken body. also; the monster is back and burned to have bones showing so it takes the name "bonenstein" and goes around eating people to try to heal its deformities. so dr f has to upgrade his body fast to stop this monster one more time. its also a variety party game mini game collection of puzzles and tasks that represent dr f trying to rebuild his body with science and then fight game things of him facing the monster art various levels of healing and gradually upgrading. also the monster has turn those its eaten parts of into its slaves so dr f has to fight them off to free them by beating out the mind control poison. its a beat em up and puzzle game on sega genesis and snes.

The Four Feathers Review

note; cant type for BEANS!!!

the four feathers

this is my rebierw on the 4 feathers

its the 30s one

not the heath ledger one that s-cked a55

in it they changed history cuz the director is indian and hates the brits

like the brits losing a battle they won in real life

the one I'm doing is considered the best

its also in Technicolor

after the credits to exotic music we get text

in 1885 in sudan there was an evil force oppressing the natives

so the brits came to save em

then we get images of the brits getting bwned

they lost

now the evil force (whatever it is. they aint really clean on who it is) rules

meanwhile in England, old brits talk

one wants a 15 year old to eat with them

hes gonna tell him about his ancestors'

but the kid was reading a poetry book

is this 30s slang for saying he's queer?

at dinner a geezer uses food to reenact a battle from decades ago vs the Russians

in the story, he threatened a solder afraid of guns to fighting

the kid was shredded by gunfire

1 guy got a blade in the neck

1 guy got his arm b0ned off

1 guy ate his gun

he hates cowards

btw, these soldiers he sent to their graves were people with familes and loves ones.

he said its good they got shredded

he seems to feel like some kind of ubermenche who lesser men have no worth for him

the teen is getting freaked out by this war talk

this reminds me of in duck dynasty where uncle si told grade schoolers his viet nam stories

10 years later the brits try to reclaim sudan

b4 they ship off next month, some army guys are gonna have a party for one of their sisters

the teen (now a man) is named harry (like the green goblin)

he's kinda uneasy about going to war

at the party, harry is engaged to marry this chick

im noticing a few things similar to gone with the wind

the guy with the food reenactment sez the army is too soft now

he reenacts the fight again with food

this s like how the joker in the dark knight keeps saying "ya wanna know how I got these scars???"

outside harry makes out with his future wife

in the real version they might've been b0ning

well, maybe not

people had class back then

nowadays people b0ne too much

esp in films

1 guy called john comes out and talks to the future wife

hes not dancing cuz its polka

hes racist against polka

weird al otta charge him with a hate crime

later a note on screen sez they are being called into service

but harry resigns

he only joined cuz his dad wanted him to

and with him having bit it, hes quitting

this is like in Robotech how bowie isn't into battle and only joined cuz of his fam pressure

the commander outs harry's quitting to the other members

later theres a military parade

the people cheer but harry watches

later the soldiers sy bye to their fams

to think, those kids would later be fighting the kaizer

too bad

the kaizer was bada55

later harry reunites with his future wife and sez hes not with the army buddies

his woman isn't happy he quit despite his flowery words

then harry gets a letter with 4 white feathers

wait

its just 3

1 from each army homie

the food guy returns and ignores the harry

his woman sez she feels betrayed

is this a thing on being queer?

like instead of leaving the army he got b0ned?

he takes a feather from a hat and sez it should be 4 feathers

as she feels the same as them

later its Egypt (where yugioh happens) and the troops are getting ready

later the war needs more men

so they have recruitment stuff

1 geezer talks to the harry and they talk at his place about the feathers

harry is traumatized over a story of a guy who chickened out eating his gun

he's bummed over being a coward

and sez the feather senders knew him better than he knows him

but the geezer knows the harry wont eat his gun

apparently back then brits could have guns

nowadays

In america everyone has guns.

in canada only cops and crooks have guns
and in england only crooks have guns

so the harry goes to the egtpyt

ere he has a native disguises him as a guy from a tribe that was mutilated and branded

they disagreed with the ruling class, got their tongues cut out, and were branded

that's basically what the left wants to do to anyone who says anything they disagree with

exclude em, silence em, and treat em like sub humans

so the harry gets his forehead branded

to be fair, people get tattoos and piercings

so its not that far away from the norm of today

plus unneeded surgeries to satisfy fetishes

the harry sez that a white feather is a coward mark

and he needs to get those who gave him it to take it back

you s-ck!

take that back aids mo!

same logic

later on the harry is living with slaves and working his a55 off

btw, I can see malcontents whining about a white guy disguising himself as a north African

even though north Africans count as white

Egypt and turkey are near Greece

are greeks white?

what about Italy? that's near it

not all whites have blonde hair and blue eyes

like sailor moon

my dads site is Slovenian and are pretty tanned and ethnic looking

I'm only milky white from my moms polish side

at the area near a battle, the brits use scarecrows to fake having more men

one guy on recon sees people coming but climbs to the top of a rock thing

his helmet falls off and the sun cooks his head

he stumbles around like a druggie or drunk

just use ur shirt to cover ur head!

dumba55!

he blacks out in the sun

wait

hes still going

he almost gets his hat

but blacks out

later the men find him

but its another group

his group wonders where he is

but the enemy is getting ready to attack

but the harry is with em

the cooked guy wakes up and his eyes are dead

he tells em to get ready for battle and lights matches infront of his eyes

despite his eyes being dead he gets to his horse

I think that happened in dr Quinn medicine woman

by night he made it back to his group telling of the enemy coming

but he dont tell his eyes are dead

at night the enemies sneak up under the shadows

the hary is also coming

he says; alarm! but is KO'd by a baddie

the battle breaks out

brits with guns vs Africans w/ swords and shields

the Africans sheer tonnage of numbers gives em the edge

they also set fire to the brits area

its a pretty well done battle

sorta like in birth of a nation with the smoke filling empty area

the Africans get into the brit base and are overwhelming em

one African nearly kills a guy

but the harry saves him

the next day some boats are moving down a river

back at the battle the brits are taken capture

they're gonna use em for b0ning!

they tie em up (ahhhhhh!) and pull em behind horses(ok that wasn't as bad)

the Africans and captured brits leave but the harry and cooked guy are left behind

the harry carries the cooked guy as birts eat the dead

rather than explain it to him, the harry stays in his character of a mutilated mute

the cooked guy is freakin out

if they donty have food they can just eat the fallen

or catch a bird

the cooked guy gives up and is gonna eat his gun

but the harry saves him

just freekin tell him!

the harry wraps a turban on the cooked guy's head and they go off as the cooked guy is freakin out

the harry helps his cooked friend survive even though the cooked friend gave him the feather

although he couldn't have saved him had he been in the service in the 1st place

maybe the cooked guy might not have been cooked

they go across this violence jack like wasteland

meanwhile the geezer who talked with him b4 tells his future wife that the harry is probably dead and its been 1 year since he left

back in Africa the cooked guy and harry find water

they boat down a river on a raft

oh sh-t a hippo!

those demons are deadly!

in the real version they probably had a death match with it

at shore the brits see him putting a note in his papers and think he's robbing them

they catch him but the Africans think he cant speak cuz of his disguise

a dr sez the cooked guy's eyes are dead and cant be fixed

later the food guy and the future wife are horse rising with guya

I think 1 is the cooked guy

the cooked guy is relearning to do things w/o eyes

the future wife is gonna be with him cuz she feels bad 4 him

oh, the food guy is the future wifes dad

at dinner the cooked guy tells his story of the mute guy

he takes out the letter but in it is a feather and a note

the letter sez not to get sunstroke

the cooked guy sez they sent the mute guy to a convict gang

wasn't there a part in the heath ledger version where he frees his homies from a prison?

oh the movies not over

the other 2 feathermen are being sold in a cage to be b0ned or something

they're all chained up and the harry plays a flute with the words "don't despair" on it

in prison its said no one gets out

meanwhile, the brits are coming by land and sea

in prison they eat from a trough and are whipped

when they let em drink from a river the harry gives em a metal item and sez tomorrow a boat is waiting

prison break!!

the baddies have figured out the harry is a brit

but he wont talk

so they whip his a55 and chain him up

this is getting x rateD!

I assume they b0ned him too

if this film was made today he'd get b0ned

in prison the 2 feathermen use the item to get free from their chains

the harry is thrown in with em and reveals he can talk

he plans to get to the armory or w/e and fight back

he sez to free the inmates but not to do anything b4 his sign

meanwhile the brits get ready for a battle with the Africans

if this were made today the brits would be the baddies and the Africans would be the heroes

a swam of horse riding Africans attack and the brits have a line of muskets

wjy not use a gatling gun?

shred em all

they fight off the Africans

In prison Theresa riot and they fight/kill/b0ne the guards

oh?

the African prison has guns

in american jail theres no guns

yet people get killed every day there

shanked, sliced, beat, b0ned dead

proof that taking away guns wont stop killings

back at the battle, they use mortars on the Africans

they also attack a building

wait, its the prison

the harry lowers their flag and raises a brit flag

the brits take the prison

the win the war

I think in the heath ledger version they got f'd at the prison and the baddies won

back in england the cooked guy is doing well w/o eyes

and the dr sez they cant be fixed

and he's learning brail

the dr reads the newspaer

it sez about the prison thing and how his friends survived

hes happy and wants to go meet em

then he hears about the harry faking being mute and saving them

he has the dr send a letter to the future wife saying he's going to get his eyes fixed and join the army

also he sends the note with the feather harry gave him

later the geezer talks about his war days an does his food things

but the harry points out the errors in his story

the horse he was riding ran forward when freaked out and he didn't have time to give the order as they just followed him

the harry gets the future wife

ther end

that was cool

fun exciting and positive

the heath ledger one was negative

full of hate

and malcontentary

for the four feathers 2 I'd like for the guy who's eyes cooked to have gone to the Germany to get his eyes fixed but has turned to the black arts to restore em. he gets eye powers that lets him see into mens souls and know their sins. he uses this power to go back to England and expose the hidden secrets of the big wigz to help the people turn from their enslavement to the regent. but then the brits need to distract them so they cause ww1 and attack him for having german help. using his advancing eye powers, he begins burning holes in people with his vision focused to a black magic point and begins causing people to cook and explode. he then becomes a super hero.

Field Of Dreams Review

note; typing still bad. maybe worse.

field of dreams

this is my review on field of dreams

I actually read the book in high school

it was called shoeless joe and had some differences

like kevin cpstner had a twin brother who left home to work at a freak show

in one flashback kevin Costner and the other kevin Costner get b0ners and measure em with a metal ruler to see if they are 100% identical

hope they wernt circimsized

I say that a lot when I watch "naked and afraid"

that show is awful

its just naked people suffering

adam and eve? more like dante's inferno!

also in the book they meet j d salinger

they changed it for the movie since I guess he didn't consent to being in it

I had an idea for a thing where they would be making a biopic on a dead actor

but one of his droogs is still alive and don't consent to being in the film(as he used to do drugs and b0ne a lot or w/e)

so they change 1 letter in his name and turn him black

ahhh yes, hackie chan, the black martial artist

steven steelburg

danny levito

ooh, its by universal

I liked the land before time

too bad they ruined it with endless sequels

ooh

burt Lancaster is in this

and ray liotta is shoeless joe

good music too

by james horner

so kevin Costner tells his dads backstory

he fought in ww1 and loved baseball

he had clashes with his dad and was a hippie in college

he met his wife, married, and the dad bit it

they bought a farm and he started hearing voices

that backstory was like 3 mins

alien soldier was almost 5 and was just scrolling text

in the cornfield kebin conytr hears a voice saying "if you build it, they will come"

as I grew up in da 90z, I saw parody's of this phrase often

he cant find any reasonable explaination for it

but he takes it well

at night he hears it again

the corn may be haunted

or maybe its space daemons

at the store the other farmers look at him queer for mentioning hearing voices

maybe the space demons are b0ning their cows

later in the cornfield, he keeps hearing the voice

he gets p-ssed but then sees a baseball field in his corn firld

he talks with his woman and sez it means showeless joe Jackson will come back

but hes dead

is this cornfield a gate to h-ll??

I should mention that shoeless joe and others in baseball were canned for being paid to fix the 1918 world series

kevin scrur is malcontent over not wanting to be his dad

is he gonna start cross dressing?

the next day he plows his corn and tells his daughter about shoeless joe

he sez jow wasn't trying to lose the game and played his fat a55 off

he turns his corin field into a b ball fierld

he also sez his dad once saw jow in a ball gamer under a fake name

then its Christmas

I should mention I don't care for baseball

I think its cr-ppy and s-cked

Americas past time my a55

its watching guys a mile away playing catch!

then they run in squares

its boring

once in high school we had to go to a game

I managed to bring my game boy advance and pokemon crystal and had something to do

in grade school I stayed behind in class and played on the computer when the class went to ballgames

I also didn't like school dances

the only sports I liked was dodge ball and scooter hockey(playing grade 1 hockey on boards with wheels)

I don't even like sports games on sega

later its revealed that they blew their savings on the ballfield

then a man shows up at the ballfield

its a base baller

wtf its been 30 mins(with commercials)

but nothing happened!

kecin sunitn turns on the lights and talks to the guy

wait, he just plays ball with him

is this like in yugioh where they communicate feelings by card games?

also, how'd he hook up a light system?

they introduce eachother and the baller is showless joe

joe sez losing baseball was like losing a limb

then they play ball more

this is kinda soothing

no music or words

just calm movements

joe tells about his good memories

I assume this is gonna get dark and disturbed soon

so is this really happening?

or is it in kevin scitng's mnd?

joe cant leave the play area

the kid asks if hes a ghost and he don't give a straight answer

joe sez theres others

kevin scoting sez they're welcome any time

when joe asks if this is heaven, kevin sez; its iowa

ih the 90s that was classic

so maybe kevin scoingt can ask joey what its like to bite it and where he's been the last few decades?

nahh!

they're gonna play baseball!

joe goes into the corn

the next day a farmer tries to help kevin ervinty but he just jokes

he's gonna have to start doing weiord p0rn0 to pay the bills

then more people are in the ballfiend

they're kinda see through

sometimes

the ballers argue and reveal they now time has happened since their games]

1 guy swears in friont of a little girl

she don't mind

the farmer talks wth kevin sctinger but he cant see em

oh, its the wifes fam

so I assume this is like in yugioh gx how only some can see spirits

the men are aware they're dead and how long its been and what year it is

then kevin hears a voice saying"ease his pain"

inside the wife warns that the PTA wants to ban books like the wizard of oz or diary of anne frank

when they took the bible out they started a slippery slope

at the meeting they wanna ban some p0rn0 by a commie named "Terrence mann"

one woman suggests he stopped writing cuz he j-rks off

the wife defends the writer

this movie tries to make the 60s period of malcontentary and drug use seem good

the women argue and nearly have a street fight like in Capcom vs SNK 2 EO

she forces a vote and compares the one against her to a nazzi and a commie

then uses blanket statements about freedom and the bill of rights to twist things

she wins the vote

kefin kostnar sez he's supposed to ease the pain of the writer

I wouldn't want my kids reading some p0rn0 in grade school

although I hear the new curriculum in some places is pretty explicit

teaching grade school kids about butt stuffing and gender perversion

these kids think santa and the tooth fairy exist

and they're teaching them about 30 genders

after a small montage of research, he gives a backstory of not jd salinger

his last story was about kevin seinty;s dad

also he liked baseball

the wife points oit good reasons why he shouldn't go on an expedition to find this writer

he sez he has a good feeling and its revealed him and his woman had the same dream about the writer

on the trip there he practices what he wants to say to introduce himself

then we get a montage of him searching for info

when they meet its james earle jones playing the writer

darth vader did p0rn0

the writer don't wanna see him but sees him anyway

hes kinda p-ssed off and disgruntled

he kicked out kevin scyunty for being from the 60s

but kevin scrut gets back in and fakes having a gun

the writer don't buy it and tries to beat klevins coastners a55 with a crowbar

kevin scrtyon explains he wants to take him to a ballgame and he read the writer wanted to play ay a field that was torn down

but the writer never even thought that

but he goes with him anyway

they go to a real stadium and the writer sez he wants to be left alone

he stopped writing as he got fed up with all those maniac druggies hounding him

at the game, the screen sez something in baseball but I don't get it

kevin deionst writes it down and gets bummed when the writer don't see it

they leave

once I was at a baseball game and got very foul gas

my dad called it, the 7th inning stench!

they part and as he leaves the writer reveals he saw the baseball text

they have to find a guy called "moonlight graham

they go on a road trip to minnesoda

he calls the wife but after they hang up her brother (the farmer) is there in a suit saying she didn't tell him

maybe they're inbreeding and trying to create some kind of super ginger(as both are ginger)

turns out moonlight became a dr and helped kids

then bit it in 72

they talk with geezers about moonlight

turns out he had no darkness

the writer calls his son after finding he's been calling him but got no answer and called the cops

the keven ciostysry goes for a walk and its now 72

I like the cool blue color of this night

he sees moonlight and they talk

moonlight carries an umbrella

in the book it was phaIIic

I think

moonlight sez he played 1 game, didn't do well and instead of going back to the minor league, he quit

he wishes he could've went to bat I the major leagues

kevin cosrtner sez he can bring him to a place with magic enough to make it happen

but moonlight don't wanna leave his homeland

this reminds me of yugioh gx where jaden goes to a time warp and faces yugi in a place with only them

kevin costny sez living his dream for 5 mins is awful

moonlight sez if he was only a dr for 5 mins it would be awful

on the phone the wife sez that they gotta pay or lose the farm

so kenvin costnor and da writer goes to the farm

on the way there they get a hitchhiker who plays ball

its the kid version of moonlight

kevin sentjer sez his dad s-cked at baseball so he forced his son to play

at 14 he read the writers book that f'd him up and made him stop

at 17 kevin kinger left home

kevin didn't see him agan

the dads hero was shoeless joe

they get to the home and the writer meets joe

also another team came out and they gon play a real game

moonlight plays with em

hes kinda cr-ppy

but he gets a score goal point thing(I don't know baseball)

the next day they're still out and the brother offers to buy the farm

kevin cerher sez no and his daughter sez people will comer to watch the game

the writer sez people will come and be basically hypnotized into coming and paying 20$ to see ghosts play b ball

we get a pro base ball speech about how its really american

but the brop spews doom and gloom saying he's gonna lose the place

we get a long stare of the ballers looking at kevin cester b4 he turns the bro down

after a scuffle, the daughter falls off the bleacher and bites it

but moonlight walks off the holy ground of baseball field and turns into burt lancaster

he saves the girl by getting a wiener out of her throat

but he cant return

Charlie! you cant go back!

we get a forced sad moment to make us feel about a ghost not playing a cr-ppy sport

he goes into the corn and I hope not to h-ll

then the bro can see the ghosts somehow

its not really explained

I guess the magic leveled up

the ballers are going back to h-ll for the night and invite the writer to go with em

but kevi sercedry goes mental that its not him

the writer revealed he did say the dream about playing ball with the place

james urkle jones dresses like my grampa  

he goes into da korn (eventually) and its revealed that one of the ghosts was kevin scerger;s dad

this whole thing was for him

but the dad sez it was for the keven secertner

his fam meets the dad but he acts like he don't know em

the dad asks if its heave but the keven sceredfer sez its iowa

the dad asks if theres a heaven

does this mean he was in h-ll?

what were his sins??

was he a degenerate?

then kened secret plays catch with his ghost dad

a good metaphor on how once malefic forces are removed, healing can begin on wounded souls

that hippie commie j-rk off writer went to h-ll and the dad's relationship with his son is restored

as it waS the writers book that f'd em.

the end

I liked this film

its good 80s/90s heart

it felt nice and has soft music

plus good themes

besides the pro hippie cr-p

the 60s were grotesque

I perfer the 80s

the raegan years

or the 90s

when animation was good

also

wtf

in the credits

the voice; himself

wtf 

For Field of Dreams 2 I'd like for the baseball field to have become more and more magical with each time a all player gets sacrificed by leaving the ground. Kwevin Costner keeps doing this to get more mass appeal so more people can see his ghost show. Also people don't really want baseball now that roids have become mandatory and games have become higher octane. So he starts having serial killer ghosts come up and have death matches. Soon its a tournament of the worlds greatest warriors and most f'd up killers and degenerates with them fighting to determine who gets to stay and who gets sacrificed to enter the human world for a few mins before returning to h-ll. Its also a fighting game on sega genesis and snes where you choose a historical figure and butcher others in gory matches. Also, the writers ghost is manipulating things for a malcontent uprising and has absorbed the lost souls sent to h-ll to become an abomination of grand perversion who absorbs other ghosts by b0ning them.

Dr X Review

niote; is my typing better? mayyyyybeee
dr x

this is my review on dr x

the 1930s horror film

the color is weird

like... not fully colored

sorta faded yet a bit sepia

its got faye wray from king kong

I think its got a bit of feel like the bat whispers

both were from the early 30z

it starts with the whole cast named on one page but not who they play

not that you'd know any of em

this guy is on a dock and smoking during a storm

its also a full moon

then a car drops off a dr at a morgue

a reporter tries to get in but is denied

he goes to this home and uses the phone

in the home is a blonde

he tells his paper that a chick was brought in the morgue after being iced weirdly

also each full moon someone gets iced

wait I think the home is a bar

after he leaces he gets a cigarete from a cop and joy buzzers his hand

he then sneaks into the morgue

at the autopsy they find shes strangled and has a wound on her head back

he suspects cannibalism

yum

you are what you eat

its natural

animals do it

if we wernt meant to eat eachother we wouldn't have the desire to

this is the 6th wacking with a strangling and knife wound

the dr suspects the cannibal is mentally ill

NO!! REALLY?!

what about that german guy who put an add out saying he wants to eat someone

then someone replied

then they gayed out and he ate him at the same time

that's what I call

shades

a food fetish!!

YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

after everyone leaves the reporter gets off the table as he was under a cover disguised as a corpse

this reminds me of alexander knox in 89 batman by tim burton

a fun character in a weird f'd world

later the dr is in the library and his daughter comes in

she freaks out for some reason

I think that's faye wray

she looked better as a blonde with long hair

but most women do

turns out a dr welles is working at the institute at night

he also studied canibalism

modern cannibal students probably watch horror movies non stop

spoiler; silence of the lambs s-cked!

no gore

no cannibalism

its gay

imagine a kung fu movie where the guy said to be a kung fu master never fughts or raises his hands over his nipples

bait and switch

dr welles has kept a heart alive for years in a jar

also he has a prosthetic arm

also 2 people on a mission were lost at sea and the 3rd guy with em was missing

they aid he drowned at sea

they probably ate him

in mexico or w/e this boat with 2 guys was swept out to sea

13 months later they found 1 guy

he said the guy didn't eat the turtles he caught and died

if it were me I'd've eated him

no shame

you gotta do what you gotta do to survive

another professor is working on brain cells

he wants the cops out

1 dr is a criopple and another has 1 eye

they work on astronomy

and moon effects

like in dbz how saiyans turn oozaru when the see moonlight

in the 70s they made blacula and blackenstein

why not a black werewolf?

in the 70s it could work

maybe a guy changes race in certain light

that sounds like a cool 90s toy

except with light instead of water

faye spots the reporter and calls him out for being up on a fire exit

he makes bad excuses

btw faywe wray is ms xavior

like Charles xavior in x men

the institute is his

all we nee is mutants

to bad lon chaney bit it

he's more fd than the x men

phantom of the opera

hunchback of notre dame

so the cops say in 48 hours they gon be back or something

a mutant comes after the reporter but runs away when his cop cigarete pops as its a joke smoke

just like something outta tim burton

the next day the reporter is back to get a photyo of dr xavior

he gets the maid (a new Yorker) and flirts with her

he joy buzzers her and she has fun

when he gets in he looks around and swipes a photo of faye

but she walks in

she calls him out on it but he sweet talks his way outta it

he comes out about being a reporter and she gets p'd at him for the story he made about her dad

he tries to joy buzzer her but shes too p-ssed to give a sh-t

as he leaves the new Yorker dumps water on him

I assume its amniotic fluid and someone is gonna poop out a baby

that night the scientists talk over who might be the killer

one of em is it

this is at his home and he's gonna do an experiment

wtf its been 30 mins

that didn't feel like it

outside the reporter climbs a wall and looks in a window

the dr x experiment is gonna prove em innocent but may out the killer

the reporter stumbles his way inside and fumbles around like leslie neilson

or light buster keaton

he sees a skeleton but its being moved by a guy carrying it

this would make a cool video game

the new Yorker is nervous of the house

dr x is gonna have the new Yorker wear the clothe\s of the murder victim for the experiment

they r gonna reenact the icing

the reported plays with skeletons

are those real?

dr x feels that hidden thoughts can be brought out by heart things

sounds like a bad anime

the guys are clamped into and wired to chairs

then the moon comes out

1 guy starts freakin out

he has a moon fetish and is gonna get a b0ner!

since the killer has 2 hands the amputee is omited

meanwhile, the room the reporter is in had smoke pumped into it

I think its drugged

he's gonna get b0ned!

at the science x periment, the machine amplifies the heart beats and displays them on tubes

the dr sez that 1 of em had to cannibal so in his subconscious he will react from seeing it

and only dr x knows who's tube is who's

the one who's tube reaches the top 1st is the killer

he uses wax figures of the victims

1 was a druggie

then the new Yorker and they re\enact it

the lights go out and in the dark 1 tube fills up

the astronomer is it

but when they turn off the dark he's dead

the crippled guy can walk and the guy next to the killed guy says he didn't do it

the amputee sez he was knocked out

jinkies! what a mystery

imagine if Scooby doo solved murders?

with swearing and perversion and nude scenes and b0ning

they find the reoperter and hes out ciold

so they revive him

they don't want him outing the story to the public

he wants to but faye x wants to protect her dad

he sez he's gonna hold off if he can have breakfast with em

they are falling in love

the amputee interrupts em and has a room for him

like in the room with tommy wiseau

I already ordered a pizza

shouldn't the dr x call the cops?

a man was iced in his home

in the AM we see faye wray in her jammies

like with yuuko in valis 3

she finds her dad autopsying the iced scientist

if this were made today we'd see him poking in the open bod

after she leaves a guy sz to the dr x that the body has been...

but don't finish

I assume someone b0ned it

later on the reporter and the faye wray are on the beach and shes in a swimsuit

she is malcontent that she has to live where bad things happen

I assume the dr x has dark experiments

well

this IS new york

the new Yorker is too freaked out from the experiment and has a bad vibe

so the faye wray is gonna do it

wtf

her charactwers name is joan

like

joan "crawl up my a55" crawlford?!

a guy walks aropund in the dark and his flashlight goes out

then he falls through a secret thing and is in a room

the new Yorker reads her tea leaves as I new York they do the occult

its a skull and cross bones

someones gonna get b0ned in the skull and get cross (mad)

the dr x gets the cops to give him until midknight to catch the perp

what if hes not 1 of em>?

at the night he redoes the x periment

this kinda reminds me of the thing

one of em is a killer and they don't know who they can trust so they have a blood test

the faye wray is worried of dr x's health as he's working hard

my grampa worked hard all his life

he had big a55 Slovenian man hands from farm work

he made it to 94.5

he's like the Castlevania guys

1 dr askes if letting the amputee be free is good

the dr x sez he has the doors bolted

as the moon rises 1 guy starts breathing loud

purvurt!!

he's gonna start j-ckin off!

meanwhile, the amputee gets a hand made of synthetic flesh attached to his stump and electirfied

it comes to life

he then starts adding mushy synthetic flesh to his face and head and covers his hair

he becomes the monster from b4

cool effects btw

btw with his hair covered he its like propfessuer x from x men

but he gets his hair out

well that came from no where

he uses secret passages and iced the butler who was gonna play the killer in the x periment

faye wray is playing the victim and the real killer is coming in

everypne freaks out and the killer reveal hes the amputee

everypne struggles being chained up

in Africa the amputee got flesh samples to work with

he killed people to get samples

hes doing it for science!

the reporter fights the killer an gets his a55 kicked

kick him in the parts!!

the faye wray frees the drs

the reporter fight the kiler and nails him with a fire lamp

then pushes him out the window

as he don't se his corpse hes probably not dead

wait, we see his burning bod on the ground below

the reporter tells his story on the phone giving the dr x credit

then a shadow of the killer comes out

but its the faye wray

he sez he used the joy buzzer to catch the killer's ticklish spot

that's cool

the lights go out and he joy buzzes the faye wray and they b0ne

the end

that was cool

I love early 30s cr-p

plus this predates x men by a good 30+ years

sorta like the bat whispers and batman

this was sorta tim burton batman a bit

for dr x 2 I'd like for it to be in the 50s and after the war the synthetic flesh is used to help the amputees from the war. but theres a side effect that causes the users to gradually go insane and start eating people after its been in them for too long. so the bada55 80s style tough chick daughter of the reporter and the faye wray has to fight them off and use her grandfathers sci fi 50s style weapons to fight off the demented ex amputees and save her 50s guy boy friend from being eaten. also she's kind of a bimbo and bad a55 at the same time and has jean harlow blonde hair and dresses like its the 1980s