Freedom Writers Review

 Note: I wrote free

freedom writers

this is my reviiew of freedom writers from the distant future year od 2007 (the years stuff happened in robotech and 2 years after the transformers movie)

itss dirrected by Richard LaGravenese aand produced by the penguin from batmman returns

it  stars hilary swannk, patrick dempsy scott gglenn and  pat carroll from the 80s garfield things

i saw some of this b4 but not the whhole thing

it made like 2x its budget and got like 70% likes

so it starts with the Soviet L A riots when the evil people of that cesspool state destroyed their own city cuz they didn't like 1 court case result

then this mexican girl writes about the aztecs who bbtw, rituak sacrificed cildren to their evil gods, amnd her dad gets arrested for being in a criminal gang who capped aa guy

then shee talks about how cr-ppy it is to be ethnic in soviat LA as  the democrats are in charge and rin things into tthe ground

then its  94 when sonic 3 came out and swank goes to work in a slum school and  after they started an integration tthing, the school went to h-ll

she wants to help these junkies and ganggsters and is ideallistic and naive

so later she starts work there and her classroom is kind of a  dump

so the teens come in and 1 hits on her and the rest dont care about her and 2 homies scuffle

on break she meets the honor students teacher who sez  her malcontents will envenntually drop out

btw  tthis is by mtv films like beavis and butt head do america and jacka55 number 2

the meico teen sez how the teens divide by race and its like tribal war or a prison gang

she trys teaching tthem homers odyssey and they dont ggive a sh-t

then 1  teen lets in some big ugly guys and the alar goes off

everyone scatters a55 and theres a gang rumble  outside as the kids go nuts

do we need armed guards packing heat like in detroit or apocalpypse zero?

if this is  like a prison they shhould have guard towers and snipers

so she goes home and mcdreamy coomforts her a55 as she''s f'd  up by it

latteershe  meets wth her dad who sez these malcontent teens are not like civil rights  guys of the 60s annd she could be doing someething worth while

at home she b--ches about her dad caring about  money even though it can be used for goods and services

so later ttheres an issue and she reassigns all the teens to different seats despite their objections as she dont gget how it works in  jail

1 seemmingly good kid is afraid of going back to homie turf as tthey'd probably b0ne him dead

at  night some mexican teens go out and at a convienince store, 1 guy wants his movie back from a machine and storms out but gets capped in a drive by and the mexican chick cant go against the hitman as they protect their kind in the slums and she lies about her witnessing

wait i think she fingered him for it

swanke is told not to talk aboit her teens capin eachotheer but in class 1 teen draws a characture of a  teenn and he sees it

she raises a stink about them making fun of 1  teens lips and has a  lesson about how drawing charactatures are  like the holocost

the teens never heard of it amd she''s shocked

Its like in Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carrey was shocked to find they landed on the moon when he saw that newspaper from the 60s in that place in the 90s

also oncce when I was in high school a teachwr said a teen haad audaciry and no one knew what it meant

i said it meant chutzpa aand no one knew that either

also; if drawing cartoons  of people is as bad as she says, should we jail all newspaper catrtooni8sts for drawing President Trump bad?

so the kids get b--chy annd mexican chick b--ches about why she hates White people for a few things cops did lke schooting a teen reaching in his pocet or arresting her dad for his crimes

also they say they otta take out the groups tthey dont like

and they think whhen they dead they get respect

these dinks are mental

btw, most people today dont know about tthe holocost

not due to denial, but from not being taught

kids dont care about history and if it werent for family gguy and memes, no one who know who hitler was

grade school only teaches history up to ww1 in soviet canada and most counttry's dont teach ww2  like indiia and south america and  most of africa

so i guess her dream went up

so swanke wants to teach the teens with books but the books are for good readers as they cant afford to replace em every year from teens raeping them

shhe goes to a tteaher bbut he mocks hher as these kids are violent aniacs and he remembers when the school was good b4 these homies came

man, muchh of this  film is people tellls  swake to give up annd you dont under stand

so she does the line game wwhere she puts a line on da floor and if you are yes to a qquestion, you go 1 way and if not, you go the other

soo tthe  teens see they have a lot in common wiith theiir lives and their homies being whhackked by gangz

man L A is a cesspoole

they otta nuke it

so se gives em journals to write their thoughts in and she keeps it safe i a cabinet w/o caligari

so at home, her husband mcdreamy is gay for her and they make out with his teacher fetsh fantasy (like that adam sandler movie?) and they cut away b4 it gets to b0ning as this is pg13

mcdreamy b0ning amelia earheart

so she has a parents knight at school and no one showsso she reads their journals

most of it is hard core p0rn0 and the teens talk bout their lusty deviant fantasies

jk

really its them being beat as kids andtheir chilhood friends being iced next to em and being in kid jail or being in gangs

she shows her dad the journalls and sez the kids are 14 (bull sh-t!!! they are like in their 20s) and dad sez to gtfo after this year and get a better job

shhe decides to get a side job to pay for more school supplys (get classcs illustrated comics) and gets new a55 books that impress the kids

she trys getting help from other school admins but he wont help

shhe sez its a catch 22 as they are told to get an eduucation but the school dont try to teach em as they never learned

so she gets a 3rd jjob to raise cash to get a field trip as iits not the magic school bus and they cant go on a field trip and turn into fish j-zz to learn about breeding salmon

mcdreemy dont like her taking all these jobs and 1 homie's brother is getting life and swankes dad pix him up to go somewhee

mexican chick sees a guy in jail and he tells her stuff aboiy keeping up da fight in their race war

so tthen its spring and they go to this holocost thing to learn about it

btw, chi na killed like 80 million under mao and pol pot did like 50ish million

plus therewas stalin taking out 55 millon or so of his people

no one talks about those victims

mght make communism look bad

so then they go to the hotel thhe tacher wprked at and meet holocost survivers and tell their part of the story

but mcdreamy is malcontent his woman is putting these malcontents above him

so then its a new schol year and 1 honor teen id tired of being asked the black perspetive on thing

in swankes class, she has a toaste to sparkling cider and sez the guys saying they cant are over

they say their hopes and 1guy says how things went bad for him but swank gae him hope

the honor teen wants to go to swanls class as the honors class was not super pc about her blackness aan the staff and honor teachr are disgruntleed by it

latr, mcdreamo asks if she can teach normal kids as shes not used to teaching smart pwople and she gets p-ssed

also hes displeased tthat her teaching thee maniacs are f ing his life plans

so the teen read anne franke and get it andd mexican chick wants her to ice hitler

spoilerr; he escapes to south america

see the history channel ffor more

later mexicano gets p-ssed rhat anne frannk gets it and 1 guy sez shhe lives on as a book and boned up on her other books at the library

for the class thing she wants emm to write a letter to a chick who helped anne with an e and they want to have the letters sent and to meet her

so she has a bg montage of rraising cash and trying to find the anne  friends info aand the kids getting along and thee papes weiting of swanke

so thry get the friend over and she tells of anne getting caught and sez anyone can turn on a small ligght in a dark room anndd they are real heroes

that was acctuallly good

soo meican chick sez  the man who fingered her dad for the crime was just protecting his own kind and shhe dontget what to do as i guess the guy she saw in jail was her dad

the guy who's brother got life reconsils with his mom

in court the mexican chick tellls the truth and outs her cousin or w/e ffor killing the guy

laterthe mexicans come forr her and say shhes a race traitor and cuz her dads a big shot sshe gets to live but one day, she goes to h e double mexico

she has to skip town and tallks to swakne who lets her stay late aand can drive her

then another cchick comes by and is nice to her

so getting 'd for doing the truth is like when someone says something thats factually correct but not politically correct and gets fired for it

so after a montage of teaching emm and ahowing em freedoom riders and the good kid says hes learned couragge and has it as he stayyed in class

soo swanke  comes home and finds mcdreamy is ditching her for not bbeing tthere for him or her putting him through so much

this mskrs him look bad but if he was a woman ditching her mann for not putting her 1st, she'd be the good guy

he dont wannna be the wiffe in the relationshiip and knows she'd choose hher work over him

so the brother guys bbrother ggets 15 years despite evidence

tthe class finds out she only teavhes thee 1st 2 years and they are moving to year 33 ad they get disgruntled

they hhave silly iideas  liike painting the admin building with A55 HOLES in various colors or going arounfd in a bus  beating people up

so she  meets with her dad who  gives advice  and at school the admminn sez theres union rules that say she cant move on with the kids

more proof unions f things up

so they have a meeting and none  of the teachers wanna bend

so she  dont get to advance with em

brother guy gave himself an F and she gives a tallk to get him back in the game

he cannt take it andpulls out a gun annd blows his head open after saying "1 way out!"

jk

so she goes in and tellss em she cant move on wth em and they show respect

later the students stuuff iis sent tio someone in the board and theres another meetng and she gets to teach jr ans sr year

then text saying they graduated and other freedom writers programs started to help kids

then credits to hip hip thats not bad

the end

wtf, ted s kennedy?! the bro of the guy the gov iced?

bob baron? like robert v barron from robotech and bill/ted 1?

but that ws pretty good

it had good music and heart and a bit of 90s to it

it one of the later 00s movies that still felt good and i thought it told a good story while being a bit repetitive with everyone telling her to give up and she dont

i'm glad i saw it through

the europeann lady telling the kids they matter was pretty good

its got some heart and still shows the teens as malcontents

for freedom writers 2 i wwant it to be about the mexican chick as  she evads the gangs and goes from town to town while solving other peoples issues kinda like in highway to heaven. also its ann 8 bit mini game compilation whee you gotta beat all the mini games on sega master system and game gear, nes and gameboy, atari 7800 and lynx and tg16 where you play as her.

Notting Hill Review

 Note: I spell ye olde englishe gov'nuh

notting hill

this is my review of notting hill from the distant fiture year of 1999(the yeardigimon happened and robotech started)

its got hugh grant and julia roberts, the sister off eric roberts from the human centipede 3

its from a book by the writer of 4 weddings and a funeral and was directed by roger mitchell who did changing lanes amd hyde park on hudson

it did well sar theatres and got good likes but i never saw it

ooh, its got  mischa barton

so it starts with creits and julia as a celeb with papparazzi taking pix as romance music playes

title

then hugh is in sooviet england in notting hioll which he describes the weird a55 place

haaa! bavid and butthead stained glass things

so i think hughs gf ditced his a55 and he lves eth some dink who is the weird one

so hugh laurie works at a booke store and lets guys pay with buying himn coffee as in the 90s everyone drabnk coffee

thn he seez julia roberts and shes in a hat and shades and he gives her book advice

oh hs so brittish! stop being brittish!!

bte, american woman and brit mo man in love? is this cabaret?

he confronts a guy with putting abook in his pants and guy asks julia foran autograf

dont trust her! she's erin blankovitch!

so she buys a booke and throws in a freebee and she books it

later hes oit walking and bumps  into julia an spills juice j-zz on her annd tyakes her back to his place to be cleaned up

she cleans up into a tummy showing top and after much talk finally gets outts there b4 he eats her with his big brit teeth

then she coes back andgets her bag she forggot and smooches him and the dink returns

she escapes his mouth again and dink eats mayonaise thinking its yourt and they watch vodeo tape and lust after the chick in them(is that julia?)

da next daye a guy comes in asking fo novels but the hugh sez they only sell travel ooks (what a cr-pmmobile store!)

at homedinkk dresses like a final fantasy character as theres no clean cloths and forgot to wrte messages from da phone and remembers julia called but told him to call da ritz under another name he dont recall

later he recalls the name, flintstone and he calls her and they meet at da hotel and sez sorry forr not callimg her for a few days as his room mate is a dink and she sez she always uses a cartoon name

theytalk and she sez sorry for making out with him as i guess she thinks hes like all englishmen and like men and he sez its ok

he talks to her about horsses as i guess he's like that teen from equus and oh its cuz he went i faking being an interviewer

after timrs up he has to intervewwother actors and fakes it as he never saw da filme

so he gets back to julia and shesez shes free but he rcalls its his sisters day an she goes with him yo it and his sistter is a gross looking britmo who is a superfan for julia

1 guy asks if he b0ned julia and he sez no comment which guy takes to mean yes

then he asks if he j-rks off and hugh replys no comment and guy sez its proof it means yes

then guy asshow much she makes and its 15 million for the last film

the fam realizes shhes a big film actors guild star and sister walked into the terlett with her

also juliano is vegetarian an fakes eating fowl

after dinner they celebrate being wieners bu giving the last brownie to the one who s-cked the most and all tell storeys on how they s-ck a55

but julia out s-cked them all with her celeb cr-p and being on adiet since she was 19 and had sugery

bt they dont buy it as shes an actor and can fake it

so later at a restaurantthese guys talk about meg ryan and how actresses are like h--kers and b0ning em and hugh confronts em about talking about someone

they tell him to get f''d and julia confronts em and sez theyre parts ae the size of peanuts

they didnt even know she was there or an acrtrss andshe intruced on their cobversation to jjab em

and candy a55 hugh interupps em as nhe dont like them joking

uya joke. what a beta male

they go to her hotel and heer buttt buddy alec baldwin is there and he tellss acel hes roo service and alec isa usual ammerican to how brits see it

typical jjacka55 alec bawlwin

no wonder kim jong ill killed huim

so hughmo goes home ti bummer muisc aand watches juianoes sopace movie

for a sec i thought julia was in gravity with aids mo goeoge cloonie but theen remembered it was sandra bullock

so hugh a55 chats with dibnk andlater his fam and they knew julia had a butt buddy so they wanna get him witha rebound chick

ewwwwwwwwwww shes a brittmo and has gross hair and is aa 5kank

one way out! (puts gun in butt)

so theres dinner and 1  chick is a ffruititattian who only eats fruit that falls from the tree naturally or it counts as "murdered plants"

so to them, the 1st murder wasn't cain killing abel, it was eve picking the apple?

btw; plant tights are human rights!!

so after dinner he chats with his fam about his his romance s-cked

later theres a candle about ulua with photoes or something, oh it was a photoshoot that looked like a p0rn0, and her career is f'd, despite kim kardashian starting with a p0rn0

then dink comes back with a tabloid and looking at the photoes and is probably gonna j-rk off to em

oh he sees her in the bath tub

so shes going back to soviet l a on teusday and they go over her character and pracctices lines with her

so later they talk about him having big feet and people being butt doubles and mel gibson doing his own a55 work

so she sleeps in his bed and hhes on fa couch and hears sounds and its dik who asks if hgh is  gonna b0ne her and if huggh wont, if he ccan

then juliano comes down annd they b0ne

in tthe real verasion they were b0ning

so in the day break she wonders why guya like b00bs and sez guy go to bed with rita hayworyhs most famous role annd wake uop with rita as she's real and her roles are the dream

so huh ggets da door and its a swarm of papparazzi

julia gets it and dink goes out in his undies and loves the attention

if this were today, he''d be a meme liikee the looter

so julian is p-ssed and thinks dink outed her and thinks he's gonna do well with tthe pubblicity

high trys to say its not that bad and news  gets replaced but she sez she did this cr-p for a decade and people will never forget

so she books it and  dink tells hugh he told a few gguys at da bar and word spread like aids

soo then theres a montage of him going through the area as seasons happen annd bummer music plays

so siiater gets hgh the juliasnumber and he throws it out

then his fam haas 1 last dinner in a restaurant they own that no onee went to and 1 guy got canned and sister mmet a guy to marry

so later hugh goes to some 1800s looing shoot to see see julia but secruity wot let him in

he sees her lookin likke helena bonahm cartwr and she comes to him and sez if he waits for a bit, they can talke

btw this is full screen and in color and looks 90s

its revealed its a movie based on henry james who is a real guy and not like in field of dreams wherethey turned j d sal8nger blACK and changed his namee

so hugh wears headphones to hear dialogie andhears julian saying hugh is not important nd walks off to comit seppuku

later julia comes by his shop and her career is going well and now shes going back to america annd gives him a painting

she takes forever to get the wrds out that she wants him to like her but he reveals he heard her say he's a55 but she sez she was just saying it to avoid her secret getting oout

hugh has to talk to his mommy on da phone and his slave or employee sez he loved julia in ghost but she se its demi moore

so he gets ack and tells her no and stumbles wth words for another 2 mins as soviet brit moes cant just get r dun and say things normal

and shes catching it too

oh he sez he dont wanna risk being dumped again and dumps her and she books it

so his fam finds out he dumped a movie star gf and thinks hes f'd and that the painting might be the origiinal

he figgers out he f'd up and they all drive over in 1 ccar like clowns to get to her

at da hotel he asks for cartoon names including beavis and butt head and they say pocahauntus checked out an hour ag and is going to a press conferonce b4 going to america

they drive on and dink stops traffic to allow em to get by as they ditch his a55

he goes in da hotel and his fams wife sez shes doing an aritce on hotels treating wheelchair guys bad and they let him through

julia sez shes takin a year oof and hugh ja55 asks  about if she could be with the guy she was caught with last time she wwa in brit land and admits hee f'd uop and wants another chance and she sez yes

she sez shes gonna stay in soviet england aindefinatly and oh yeah, sister is in love wurh dink

ewwwww. look at those jylia tteeth! she could pass for brittish!

so later theres a weeding andhappy music and then shhes ggoing out on a  rred carpet with tthe hugh aand i think sister has a kids wiith dink and it ends with her and hugh on a park brnch and shes got a baby gutt

the end and credits to 90s soft roomance music

mike harris? tthe canadian guy?

jean simmons? the actress?

tommy lee and john smith??

but thhis was a decent film

it s mild and calm and not too high action but has a good flow and even though nothing is really happening, it hoolds attention

its got good 90s music and look and has some heart

it tells the story well and i thought it as well done

for Notting Hill 2 i want them to need movney and she's offered a role in an art film about being pregnant and they use her pregnancy to its advantage. but it turns out its a weird fetish film where they smear honey and mustard on her tummy and pigs lick it off. hugh finds out people are gonna be j-rkin off to his woman again and snaps and trys to stop it but stuff keeps getting in his way. also its an 8 bit mini game thing on game boy, game gear, master system, nes, atari 7800 and tg16 where you play as julia and do various pregnancy related events like rubbing the tummy is a wweird way or eating a lot or trying on tight outfits that her gut bulges outta.

Michel Strogoff Review

 Note: I spell sobiet... NOT!!

Michel Strogff

This is my review on Michel Strogoff from 1926

its based on a book by... uels Verne?! Ok well now i'm interested!

It by frenchiews and ex russians who escaped the ussr and stars Ivan Mosjoukine who i saw in a few thinhs, and Nicolas Koline from Abel Gances Napoleon and no one else I know of

my dad read me the classics illustrated comic in the 90s and i remember a few things

its directed by Victor Tourjansky who did a bucha things i never saw

btw this is in french and i'm watching with subtiles

after opening credits with agoolden tint that i like in 20s films, we see jules verne writing a story of the czars country and the uprising of the tartars

at a party in a place in pre sovietm moscow people dance and czar alex 2 is theere and people love him as the commies didnt spread hate against him like the media and trump

also is general kissoff chatting witrh al and a guy listens to him say the telegraf line is out and asian tribes are taking over

the listeners bumps into a guy anndd thery trade info cards like its japann and bump guy is alcide

later czar and kissoff go in private to tallk about the traitor ivan (who used to br a colonell and escaped prison after a court matrial) joining the bad guys and helping the tartars

so czar needs to ssend an officer to do something

then the tartarts attack the slavs on horseback like a reverse end to birth of a nation

wait, it might be just a phantasy by the czar

so tthey bring in michael strogoff da captain of da gisrd and he has a crazy  look

czar sends him undercover into tatrtar turf to gget to the city that was cut off and with a note saying instructions of the city soldiers to meet with his forces to stop colonel ivan

he tells mickey to memorie the letter and mikey goes off

for 2 days, alcide and listener are on a train and turns out tey are repporters and in another car on da train, mihael is under cover with a fake name and meets a chick who's going to the city he is so she can meet her dad

at the next stop, the passport offie denies her authoization to go to the city and she's bummed until mikey fakes being her brother to get her permission

later they are going by boate and the reporters are there and chick tells mihkhail her dad was deoprted for political reasons but loves his country

after some slavic protoculture and a guyb with a pet bear that drinks booze(thats russia!!), the bear guy is informed the czar has a guy on da boat and is revealed to be on the bad guys side

then thry get to the mountauns in a hhorse cart andtheres a storm and mikhail takes the rains to steer the forses through a wild ride

after stopping and fixing the cart, there is a bear looking for its cubs and chick caps a cub coming for her

the moma bear comes cor her but mihaol shanks it with a big a55 knife like he violence jack

nowadyaas, they;;d make him look bad for this as animals rights are human rights

so they go on and stop at a house in the country or something and bear gguy i think stops by wanting horses and wants the gangs but when mihauil doesnt consent, he whips michail who backs down for the mission

chick wonders why this bada55 who iced a bear queered out from a human and realizes hes the czars guy

meanwhile, the tatrars set uop a camp near another city and the guyb who took the horses comes by and is given control of the troops

he orders men to go north and torch the city and 1 guy who just gave him command is tevealed to be ivan

meanwhile, michail and friends are going by raft and boats atttck and they fight em

michaeil kicks a55 and wastes a bunch of em likes hes james bond or steven segal and escapes into the water

the guys attackong, i think tartars, seem to be about to b0ne thec chick and strogong blackks out in the plants in the wwater and hads a dream where i think is in h-ll as cavemen things torment him abd try to pull him diwwb as he trys to escape thiss cave thing

chick offers him water and shes like a ghost and then he's in the palace dancing with chick and they bow to the 12 foot tall czar ghost before the place catches fire

the bext day he's being treated by a guy who he sees as a lady (dude looks like a lady?!) and he gets freaked out by an owl and his shadow b4 blaccming out

after comming out he gets a horse from the guy and goes to an area by where a battle is gonna happen and stroginsmom lives

the tatrattrs attack and the czars troops are low ammo and theres a big battle with smoke all ovwer like bith of a nation did a decade b4

so mikhail arrives and everyones in h e doble  france and the czars troops are  falling bavk from the tartar sause invading the town

there he seez ivvan the traitor on a horse and  is told who it is by a citizen

at night michael goes to his mmoms home and lookd in a window but recallls the czars advice of avoiding his friends/fam

but she saw him and goes out looking for him annd finds him in a bar but he fakkes not knowing hee despite  her affection ad freak outs over it

1 scuzzy gguy, i think bear guy tells ivan something and micha books it but scuzzmo follows

mocha shaves and ivan confrnts mrs srtogoff but she sez its not her son as she gets it and takes her to the booss (i guess it wasnt ivan)

micha skips townn on a horse and in a mansion base, real ivan grills her but she denies it being her son so he sends her to some place and sends the chick from the bear guy to watch her while in jail

also he puts out an APB for micha as micha hides and rus from the tartarts in the night

also theres wanted posters for michael strogaff with a reward for him all over town

in robotech, when lancer was a wanted man, he faked being a female singer so no one would nail him, as no one expects a wanted man to be out in public.

Imagine if Madonna was actually Gacy or the Zodian Killer?

so sttrogaff ruuns through this mad max wastelannd and gets to a tekegraph and the reporters are there reporting how the czars guys got beat by tartars

but its 10 russian money per work and he rewordsa it

but then the tatrtarz are comming and throe grenades as he sends a message about em

his white horse returns like in g gundam and gets capped and tthey catch reporters and micha

meanwhile, in a tartar camp, the chick finds mrs strogin and they talk about micha loving his mom and bear gurl races ooff after i think she heard it

she ggoes to ivan and sez micha is a prisoner and he goes to da camp

acid reporter (w/e  his name was) shows ivan papers hes a reporter and frenchie and other listener shows his  brittish pappers and they are freed as brits tartarts and frenchies are the bad guys (look how they teamed up against zzee kaizer!!)

ivan ggets mrs strogiff and wants her to expose her son or get tthe whip

she dont comply so she gets the whip but micha saves her, admits to eing the czar guy, and nauils  ivann in da face as payback for b4

they taKE his message and go on toward the city

at the tartar leaders place which looks mongolianoid theres a big celeggbarting and ivan comes by with prisoners being whipped

they are gonna execute michael but instead they use their gods book to choose a random verse and use tthat as punishment

the punishment is eye removal and they use a sword and slice hhim across the face as his eyes split open and the gooo gushes out as he sceeams and vomits in pain!!

jk

really they tie  hom up, heat a blade and his mom kisses on him be they take her off

the hot blade is put up to his face and cooks his eyes

so are  they gonna eatt em now that they're coooked?

also this seems like something teens wouuld do like filinng their teeth or eating tide pods

the tartarts leave annd cchick goes up annd hellps mihaiel as the tartars dance

this seems to have been colored a bit as the clothes have differewnt looks

ivan caps a tartart for some reason aand they go back to dancing b4 marching on da city

at the governors place in that cut off city they hope  troopss arrive soon and wanna set up a special force for defence annd 1 guy in the gov is chicks dad who becomes coommander of deoprtees

later its a  snow storm like in soviet canada annd micha and chick go over the area as he casrrys her when she gets blavked out

they get to the cut off city and, wait, i think its ivsn faking being michael with a letter and wanting to go off and defend da city

later strogan and chick reach a small town and its been f'd by the tartars

micha suggests  she goes on w/o him but she dont wanna

also is a  thing of him looking at a picture of The Savior annd having a Halo on him

at da cut off city, a guy has a note to blow the oil thing at  midknight and ivan throws a torch at this thing and it burns and blows

oh the tartarts put oil in tthe river and he burned it

in the caos, strogfin and nadia (the chick, wait, is this where they got the idea for  nadia the secret of blue water? that had captain nemo and frenchies in it and was in the  turn of the century, so... maybe?) get in the palace cchick sees ivam

he catches her and strogin comes in and ivan remembers the de-eying and pulls a sword but strogin counters

blind kung fu master? msaybe sensing his evil ki?

nah his tears protected his eyes and he can see now

they sword fight with micha having a  dagger and ivan with a blade

ivvan goes for a gun but like in star ship troopers, micha throws a  blade in the guys hand

they mma fight and ovan takes a bite outta michas arm and they battle  on as chick ttruys to break out the door

she goes out and trys to get help but everyones busy with the tartat fight aas the city burns like  in gone with the wind

eventually micha figghts by a broken railing and both fall off like 12 feet and ivan comes  out the door and blacks out and micha walks out busted up and bada55 

she tends his wounds and the  czars guys beat bavk the tartarts with strong fighting as we eastern europesams and bada55 warriors

later a guy tells the governers  theyy cauught a spy but she sez shes michael strogifs bridde

oh its the bear chick

then thry say michael strogif was iced and they caught the killer and its real micha

he reveals its ivan he iced and hes the real micha and prooves it  by reciting the letter by memory and they have bear chick takken out bak andd shot

even the chicks get it? bada55! nowadays she'd bite it trying to ice a guy and it would be self defence

also michel wacking ivam with his bare hands on purpose was something they cant do in modetrn films as its mmade by candya55es

so chick reunites with her dad and back in pre-sovviet moscow, later michel returns annd the czar makkes him a prince and colonel and givves him a kiss  on the forehead

what a nice guy

that warmedd my heart

days latermichael and chick get married andreoporters are there, wait, its the moms home and  they dont go to da wedding as its russian protoculture

then in a church the micha and nadia marry

the end

that was pretty good

i recalled a few things like the bear and the eye stuff but not most of it

goodf for them using real russians instead of casting englishmen and irishmen as slavs and faking it like all those brittish movies did

its got good feel and flow and is like 3 hours long but stiff good

its well made and well acted and well done and the czar is shown as cool

michals actor has those crazy eyes but he works with em

i liked it and i;m glad i learned of it from the classics illustrated comic book

im not a book guy but this was a good movie and the comic was cool

for Michel Strogoff 2 i want the tartatrs to team uo with china and plan an attack to take on russia and michal has to go to japan for a treaty meeting to get japan's  help with the invasion. also its a 16 bit srpg like shining force or fire emblem on sega genesis, snes, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play asd michel and deal with a scheme by an immoral samurai who wants to beray  his people to the gaijin and rule as regent in there.

Sundown Review

 note; i spell bad but this moie did wiorse at the box oriface

sundown

this is my review on sundiow from 1941 (the year f dr let pearl harbor get nailed so he could attack germany to help his britmo buddies)

its directed by Henry Hathaway who did The Outlaws part of how the west was won and nothing i've actually seen else

it stars Bruce Cabot, george sanders, harry carey, Cedric Hardwicke and was the debut of Woody Strode from The Ten Commandments and The Quick and the Dead

I never saw this b4 but heard it got award nominations but the peole hated it

so after tital annd creditz we get text deticatiing this film to brave guys

then its soviet kenyaand a plane flys by a womann driving it, wait, shes just in it and they land and she gets out as it goes on

she meets  soome africas and they go to manieka in a  villagge where they sing like the wwho's in whoville

a gguy there wanttsmore funds to sstudy the natives and sendds a message to nairobi but theres cr-p going in there

the natives have this guy settle a dispute wiith a guy who wants to buy a chick as a wife but needs to work for the regent of soviet england

he lets it hhappen so the guy doont ice the geezer she was gonna marry and get strung up and uses his payy for it

later, chick is walking wiith the africas to maineke or w/e and planes fly overhead

then its ssun dow and the brits enjoy liquer and main guy (caboot) chats with a brit and its revealed hes from sooviet canada

tthen the planes land theere and sanders comes out with supplies and sez hes taking over as the gov wants him to

sanders is disgruntled that theres an italiwno there not caged up as he cooks for em and is a nice guy

sanders sez da rules say he should be chained up and not be alllowed to coook even though he wants to

so thiss is one off those movies where the brits are the bad guys right? like all those mel gibson things and super nanny?

sanders wnnts themm to take gguuns ffrom the tribe cabot wanted to study but cabot sez it'll be hard

then a dutchman comes in sayinghe found good minerals and as his funders, the italianoes, are gione, he wants to help the devient briitz and go home

they ggive him a letter  from his homeland and he reveals he went around the tribes turf as thhey;;d have iced him

later, they are out and the tribes guys are trying to j fk em and the guy who wanted to marry the chick get capped getting them the gun

they get back tio base and check the gun and find its made in cechoslovakia

the italiano ccomes out and reveals he was a teacher in political historyn and they send him here and begs them to help as someones gonn take over da ocean as if africa falls, the ocans are controlled and can take over more of da urth with it

sanders asks hhim to waive his rights as a p o w and cook dinneer tonight

later a trader comes by and they accuse hhim of bringing guns to the tribe and that the law is anyone with a gun can be capped

and that the tribe will b0ne him dead a lot or something when thhey get f'd cuz of his guns

cabot sez the tribes are innocent and blames the white man for them using guns they were given

but, they chose to use the guns

if i gibve a guy a hammer and he goes around mashing guys heads, is it my fault?

who wrote this? tumbler?!

so tey have a servie for the capped guy and all the aricas thhere have hair that would fit a millennial(like big in the back but the front is shaved)

then they have the area tightened and no one is allowed to leave and they make the africas build a base

the white chick from the start, wait, i think the base they buold was elsewhere and she's somewhere else

wait, she's at the place with cabot and sez she's here to bring supplies for a store or something and has a caravan of goods but not guns to the tribe

italiano knows her from years ago and she remembers him and italiano tells britz she ownes this network of trading stores and stuff

they have a dinner to make her more comfy and find she's half mid eest and half french and the natives hate mixed people

so cabot talks to chick and sez he knew a guy (i think her dad) who anted to cultivate this place to a garden of Eden

btw this was produced by Walter Wanger (boomerang kuwanger from mega man X?) who did queen christina, the sheik and Algiers

so then natives have this custom where when siomeone bites it, they gotta have 1 of 6 white men get it too by sacrifice or something

but there's only 5 of em

until a white hunter coes by

is this where dragon ball super got the super saiyan god ritual?

so then its revealed that cabot is the one who's gonna ave someone bite it in his house (i f'd up the tradition a bit ago)

they got this eerie singing andits kinda haunting and cool and mystic

later, chick walks to cabots home and ntives open fire on her so the guards gatling gun them an cabot and friends chase em and are fired on

the spotlight shines on da trader and hes got a machine gun and he runs and they cap his a55 to h e double africa!

ater that, hunter sez chick guy capped and noneknew she was there and he had her wounds treated

cabbot goes to c her and she sez she ccame to warn him about trader and is doing ok

sanders tells her trading is over and shes to gtfo

hollad guy chats with chick and sez shes the last trader there as the trader w/ a gun got capped and dutchman wantsx to book it qwirh her

she tehen tells ialiano shes gonna use her caravan to get help for them

wait

she twlls him the dutchman is a bad guy and behind da guns andd is going with him to figger out his connectionss

then dutchman pulls a  gun on italiano and it fades out

the britz finditaliano b0ned dead or w//ee anndfiind chik is out and so is holland and they think they are in it together

cabbot wants to go after her but sanders sez not to as he has orders annd 1 guy sez italiano wass 1 of the 6 white men to get it

later, chick is with dutchman and the tribe guys are firing machine guns and they go through a cave and he takes  her through it toa base by water

at  britmo base, tthey try a radio or something that''d f'd but can still recieve messages

then a  plane goes by and lands and a high rank gguy comes out and sez they aint getting any extra aids and leaves

using the minerals dutchman had they figger oot where he was andhunter and cabbot go off and find armed navives from elsewhere and have loads of gns and ammo

they use a keg to set it uup andlight a fuse and book it and it blows and torches thee place wiith bullets going off

they make it to the lakke base and see a plaane is there and  recognize chicks caravan gguys

dutchman tels chick he knows italiasno didnt have the  message sent as he iced him and he knows cabbot is coming as he blew da guns

dutcho se he knows shes reallly pure french as he ddad bit it when she was 22 and wants to use her trading thing to take over

allso he took out her messengers

they have cabbot cagged wiith chick wgo se shes not workking with dutch andis working to stop him bbut hher guys all ggot capped

also the aattack is gonna happen tomnorrow and she knows how to use drums tto ssend a war call

he ffakes being hange in jail likethaat gguy the queen had iced for his island ofkids her prince b0ned and takes the gguards out when tthey go to b0ne his body

dutch uses dda radio to sez the  attack will haopen tomorrow and then sees em out and fires like  20 shots w/o reloading from a luger at em and all miss

cabbot jumps outta da shadows like a ninja and k o'sdutch and when chick goes out she  tells the men not to let the bad guys use her caravans

shhe gets the backhand butthe guys get cappped by chicks men

then ttheres a big battle ggun brawl and dutch chases sanders as his suide came annd they both ccap each other

sannders sez goode showe olde sporte and keeo your ggood christian ideals and sanders dad was a biship and  wantted him to be in da church

he bites it annd then its soviet london and cabbot and chick are in a busted up church by sandders dad and gives a speech about englind needing to win

the end

that wasnt so bad

it had a good 40s story and was sorta like outpost in morocco a bit

despite being about the brits as the good guys formsome reason, its a well made film and has some good story to it

giood msuic and its in that good b/w and fullscreen the 40s had

good twists in it too you woon't see comming the 1st time

for Sundown 2 i want it to be about the war in africa  has continued for  another 200 years and things are a retro future look with neon and chrome. the tribal people have bee cyberized but keeo many of their old ways of watchcraft and rituals.  It follows a new generattion of soldietrs born during the war and going on missions to stop the other side. Also its a 128 bit dreamcast, gamecube, ps2 and xxbox game where you go around in mech vehicles and do missions on either side of the war and which evver you do more missions for wins when you do enough for 1 or the other.

Tag Review

 Notte: I spell more originally thaN movies are today

Tag

This is my review on Tag from 2018 (The year of the Malcontent Uprisings in Robotech)

its based on both a game kids play andd a true story of guys playing tag for 30 years

Whats wrong hollywood? run outta board games to make movies outta?

it has jon hamm, hannibal buress and jeremy renner and no one else i know of

its the debut of Jeff Tomsic who is probanbly gonna wind up doing p0rn0

I never saw this b4 but people say its ok

also jeremy renner snapped his arms  making this and they cged them normal

so it starts with kids playing at an 80s playground and a narrator sayong playing keeps you young an da montage of them as teens and kids playing tag

then 1 guy talks to a guy for a job interview of a janitor

he gets it and jon hamm is a ceo in an interview and janitor is cr-ppily cleaning and reveals himself to be his homie and he tags him

janitor sez one guy is retiring and they gotta go se him

turns out one guy is getting married and they are gonnna team up to get him

eventually they explain their to the interviewqerthis guy has never been tagged  as he's some kinda ubermench and each year in may they play tag and its been going on for 30 years

interviewer comes with em and thhen we cut to another friend doing chronic with his dad this chick comes by

he realizes its may and trys to escape through other buildings and homes

btw this is widescreen so we get the black bars

afterr some damage and falls, he egts away but hamm tags him

after a flurry of tagbacks, janitor sez they gon get the wedding guy and go to soviet portland to get hannibal

harinab is in therapy talking about man parts and his homis come out of the closet and tag him and say they gotaa go

later, in soviet washington, they go to their home townn and go to some house and plan the hit

they plan to not get him in the ceremony and janitor smokes chonic with stoner

janitors mom comes down and flirts with stoner like its american pie or future bulma and future gohan in dbz

they go to a bar and the wife is still barred from it and ask a guy who wants to be in the game where wdding guy is

they twist him to tell by saying the interviewer is writing a story for a wall street journal and no wedding guy, no storyy and he spills where it is

so latter the wife calls ubermench and sez they're event they booked at the place is cancelled

they then go on the attack and he ninja beats em like he's Kenshiro from Hokuto No Ken

they talk and havve a truce to writte up ammentments to when they can and can't be tagged around da weeding

at da bar tthey go over the rules and reminice of the game being part of their life over the years

tthen they czech the ubermenches or weeding uy or w/e i called him's house by breaking in to see if he's there

they getta notesaying  "did u think i'd really be home" and as it feels like a trap, they split up and sarch da  home

in there they fnd he'd got maps of the city and high tech stuff and on a livestream from janitors childhood bedroom and is gonna start j-rkin off onjanitors teddy bear

they rsh over there but its revealed weeding guy in in a replica of janitors bedroom from his basement

later they rremminice of hamm roundhousing stoner and sh-tting his pants

hannib0ner asks interviewer if she can find outif maury is fake as each ep is the same but maury sez its real

da next day, jasnitor fakes being a heezer but weeding ubermencch beats him down with the dropped purse

after some back and forth with possible scenarioes of getting arrested and being in jail (but no dropping the soap jokes for some reason)

later its a dinner and wedding guys woman reveals shes el pregnanto

also once they had a cotest to see who can hold their breath the longest and  ubermench nearly bit it

stoner thinks the whole event is fake and set up by weeding guy

hanibre sez this chick there was liked by hamm and stoner butyears later married an orthodintist

evetually stoner trys talking to that girl and the guy she went with bit it

she gets into him andthe guys joke about him out of range

after leaving stoner, hamm trys being with her by following her into the little girls room

ranma chick; there's a purvurt in the girls bath room!!

as he's trying to b0ne her, wedding guy gets out of the exit hamm was to guard and theres a golf cart chase across the gold course

wife chats withinterviewer and its revealed theres no girls allowed so she  can't join in

da carty gets stuck in da woods and ubermench plays 80s music on a boom box as hedoes ninja trix  of shadow clones in da woods

traps start taking the guys out and hannibonula tags wedding guy but its just a body double (kaemusha) and he gets caught

so on the way back from da woods they say weeding guy had guys be fakes and set up traps

later hamm sez to try it at wedding guys gym andstoner stays back at the bar as his knee was f'd

but really its to meet the chick he liked

so at da gym hamm offers a worker 500 bones to out where wedding guy is but he tells em to gay out

after trying to raise the price, they water board him

but they queer out and cant go throufh with it and pay him 2500 $ and worker sez he's in AA

back at da bar yard hamm sees stoner wirh da chick they both like and they start b--ching out and chick and she sez wedding guy inviited her to f with them

they seal the exits of da church and attack at the AA meeting but he ninja a55 kicks em

who would win? him in this or him in the avengers movies?

he busdts a stained glass window but there's mouse traps out there and he seals himswlf in a room

they ry waiting him out and eventually his woman comes in all mental cuz they'd f'd up their wedding

she has womb issues and they argue if they can tag him as his kid might be dying

weddig guy tells em he'd wind pipe snap em if they f up his wiman or kid

he should

so we get a bummer moment where the wedding seems off and on instagram the bridesmaids b--ch

wife sez it seems off and makes a fake instagram page to get access and its revealed the wedding being off is fake and the womb issues

they wanna f his wedding but janitor spazzes out and sez its not worth it to do this tag sh-t

they go to the wedding and wedding girl reveals she was never pregnant and it was all just aa scam to f with em so they could have their wedding

thats pretty evil

she ruined the game 

so they haveda wedd8ng and its not as good as in robotech II the sentinels

rigght as they kiss, janitor runs up to himand tags him

but its not real andhawk eye dodges andand jamitor slams into tthe minister and blacks out

in the hospital they say janitor shouldnt me that active in hia condotion and stoner tests the dr to see if its fake

then stoner chats withthe chick he likes andhis life is faLLEN APART (probably from the drugs) and she has  pity on him (or finds him hot for it)

later in a video phone call, jannitor tellls wdding guy he's got a liver tumer and saiid wedding guy was quitting to get everyone together

also he might not make it to next year

he sez sorry for f ing his wedding and ubermench comes in the room saying sorry for not inviting em to his wedding

to get haWKWYE  to keep it going, he sez he's not gonna tag anyone and the game ends with hin

he consents to being tagged and tags another guy and runs out as theres 5 mins left until da planet asplodes i mean the month ends

then ubermench has a verbal ammendment to let chicks pplay and they consent

they tag back and forth to blackk guy music andrun around a hosopital

then we get clips of guys playing tag wwhich i think is the real game this movie was based on

the end

that was pretty good

a bit dark with the pregnancy issues and the constant talk of it but the storry holds up

i didn't laugh but it was clever at times

good action and despite the idea being really stoopid it holds up as a movie

its sorta like bridesmaids but less awful and actually somewhat good

for Tag 2  I want for the story to have made Tag become a world wide sensation like Beyblade in the Anime and its the 2030s and the kids of the 1st movies guys are in a tag league team where they ply tag and do stuff under a time limit and whoever gets more or less in it wins. Also its a 16 bit top down sportas game on sega genesis, snes atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you choose a team and plat tag in tournaments.

The Peanuts Movie Review

 Note: I spell like newspaper comix dont

the peanuts movie

this is my revuew on the peanuts movie frim the diatant furure year odf 20015 (the year of Aien Soldier and the Gamecube Game Robbotech Battlecry)

it stars Noah Schnapp and has recordings of Bill Melendez forr Snoopy and Woodstock

Its ditrected by Steve Martino who did Horton Hears A Who and Ice Age 4

I saw it b4 and loved it and even cryed watching it

it got good reviews and did well at theatres

So after cool credits, all the kids wake up to a snow day

so much for gloal warming!

its got a good animation style that looks cool and classic yet has heart

its like south park with its 2d style butmore effort put in

Charlie Brown trys flying a kite in winteer as the  Kite Eating Tree is back in H-ll bt trups and falls on the ice and wrex a hockey game and gets tied up in kite string

Lucy tells him he s-cked and to give up and charlie goes home and eats his gu

jk

after  more classic Peanuts styll like kids crushing on each other andd enjoying the outsdoors (which kids today are into their iphones too much for in this century) charlie  trys practicing baseball in winter

then a new kid mves in to the hoose across the street from charlie sheen i mean brown

imagine charlie sheen vs charlie brown?

winner gets aids!

charlie hopes to make a new friend who don't know of his  past errors and is bummed how  he screws up everything

the next day da kids goo to school and snoopy isnt allowed as the school is racist against dogs (and msaybe irish)

after cb accidentally causes chaos with linus's red baron plane (chaos control!) the new kid comes in and its da little red haired girl

then tthey get a test and chuck is  too focused on the red haired girl and her pencilrolls oover to him with bite marx on it

he and patty rush and sign the tests at the desk and  he sppazzes out over meeting tthe red haird girl

later snoop dogg types on a typewriter about the WW1 Ace vs The Red Baron like its the 30s and charlie rides da bus and avoids the girl

we get a cool air battle scene like its robotech or something

at home cb trys to avoid yet watch the girl and wants to have the chutzpa to chat with her

snoopy writes a love stoey of the flying ace and female snoopy with col visuals shwing instead of just narrating

she flys off b4 he can gie her flowers and her name is fifi like the skunk from Tiny Toons

after charlire almost talks to her, he talks to Lucy who has a feminist attack on the idea she might not be pretty to charlie and points out all charlies failings andsez he needs to be a winner

char gets a book on being a winner and takes its advice

winner do deals, and winnwr get rich, whole sad little losers just sit there and...

so he trys a magic act for a talent show and after lucy takes a swing at a dog he licks her and she spazzes out from dog hiv, he  gives up hischance to go on to help his kid siater do her act and its a hit

its pretty fun and has that song from camp caribou "I''ve got a head like aPing Pong Ball"

later, patty calls to tell char he's been put up to make cupcakes for the winter dance but he only knows how to makke toaste

char finds out the girl likes dancing and snoop trains him

at da dance he carrys the punch but his shirt ggets caufht in da door and da  kkids dance

the girl wins tthe girls divisoion (which is segregation by gender according to trumbler) and snoopy opens da door in a shirt and shades so no one knows hes a dog

charlie dances annd does well until he slips on the punch on da floor and his shoe hits the spriinkler and hoses out da dance

so at home chars bummed andsnoopy writes more of his nove about the WW1 Flying Ace and his gf as they fly in da sky

he almost gives her flowers but the Red Baron comes inand there's a dogfight

you know the red baron was a good guy right? fighting the evil englishmen and their devolved canadian slaves!

the Red Baron takes out Fif's veritech and she goes n his  red bioroid and escapes like Edwards wuuth Minmei in The Sentinels

so at school the girl went back east to take care of her grandma and they gotta do a book report

they chooose book report partners with names outta a jar and char gets the red haired girl

char feels disgtruntled as hes never been repsonsible for anything despidfte having a dog

he chooses to do hard on the book report to be an hero and its rveealed char got a perfect score on da test from b4

eeveryone loves him now as they wanna be in with him and sucks up to him

at least he actually did  something to be famous like G W Bush instaed of just inheriting fame like the queens grandsons who spammed the rooyal wedding non stop

no one cared about W until he did something,THEN he got fame

when his daughters got married no one cared

so then char finds out the roport is due mondy and marcy and patty are choosing books like huck fin and catcher in the rhye which are banned now for being too much for commies

char meets patty who sez war and piece is the best bbook ever (but gets the name wrong)

after finding marcy he finds is real name and takes da book oot

after a cool chase across the snow on a sled after the book, he trys to write the book report on this colossal book as kids admirre him and wanna spend time wirh him

he has to do 100 words and feels bummed but buckles down and uses her pencil to do it

get r dun

after an all nighter without mountain dew, thee's an assembly forchar getting da operfect score

lucy sez she was wrong about reating him bad andwhen he goes up for the thing, he finds it was peopperment patty's test he signed and she just drew a happy face on it and rolled a 20

he sezthnx but admits its all fake and declines the honor

when i 1st saw this, i thought he'd go doen the bad path and fake it andlearn a lesson about lying. but it impressed and surprized me he was honest

he's bummed again and linus sez his book report is the best ever

red girl comes by and linus tells her char did the book report for her but te red baron plane shreds it

thenwe get the next chapter of the red baron sagawith snoopy fighting him in soviet france or w/e

So char is bummed and looks at the sky and hopes he has a star up there

snoopy continues his ww1 fight and is actually wandering around town irl where it cuts bwtween is phantasy and reality like calvin and hobbes

later its spring andchar helps this kid fly a kite and the kid is an instant win

snoopy conrtinuies his ww1 saga and we get a good air battle w/o any pg stuff with snoopyu saving his gf fro a lead zepplin

she falls out and snoop dogg saves her abd the Red Baron is damaged but gets away

lucy reads it and hates it so he nailes her in the head with a type writer

the its the last day of school and the giro chooses char for her summer pen pal (as they dont have the internet in w/e year this is)

Char can't figure out why she wanted him and linus tells  him to go talk to her

he gets da pencil he's had for 6 mohnths andfinds shes goingg to summer camp

hope its not sleep away camp

after a ffrris bueler run through a carnival, the kite eating tree poos out a kite and it drags him across town as he flys a kite fr once and evetuones amazed

he gets to her annd she reveals she likes him and thinks hes a good guy and saw all his good intentionsand  sees him as a winner

i got teary eyed at that

he gives back her pencil andsays she's gonna write to him

everyone is happy for him and they carry him as the scene turns to a b/w drawing

then credits tt the characters dancing

and char falling for the football trick again

and snoopy and hs fam having root beer and  red baron flys by

then crediys with comic panels

the end

that was woonerful

i loved it

so pure and innocent and kind and heartfelt

its timeless annd wholesome and has great looks, sounds and story

its nevr boring annd has good flow and never drags

its good classiic innocence andlove and kindness amd it inspires me to be a better man

For The Peanuts Movie 2 I want it to be a hyper modernized thing where the town gets internet and how it devolves the kids into malcontents and commies. But Charlie and the red haired girl team up to use common sense to bring the people back to normal. Its also an 8 bit nes, gameboy, sega master system and game gear, atari 7800 and lynx and tg16 game where you play aas either charlie or the girl and talk to people  instead of beating em up and instead of knocking em out, you turn them normal with facts.

The Fugitive Review

 Note: I spell like an outlaw

the fuetive

this is my review onthe fugitive from 1993 (the year minmei from robotech was born and probably somrthing in Riki-oh, Urotsukidoji and Fist of the North Star)

its based on a 60s show and i never saw it but saw parodies like wtongfully accused and the simpsons

it has harridson ford, toommy lee jones, julianne moore, jane lynch, andd a buncha guys i never heard of like tom wood and dick cusack (which sound like p0rn0 names)

its directed by andrew davis who did above the law (wiith steven segal? good f--k!) Under seige (More segall?! Good f--k!!) and collateral damage (with a good action star actor, arnold schwarzenegger)

huh, its written by David Twohy who did critters 2, water world (zaaa warudo!),  and the Riddick series with vin diesall

so after cool 90s credits we see some getting slo mo iced and da cops checkking the pplace

its  got thaat cool blue look like the bodyyguard

so ford is a big shot oor something, i'm not paying attention, and while being grilled by da cops, rememmbbers his past with his woman who was just wacked

he was called in to operate on someone and his woman went home

ford sez he foyght a 1 armed guy and his woman scratched his neck when he tries to move her

the evifence sez ford dooed it and he;s getting cash from inusrance or something

after a trial whewre it sez her head gut mashed and she called a cops and said her husbands name and only his prints were found there

he is sentenced to the needle like gacy and is chained up and put on a bus like a 90s ben hur

on da ride theres a rebellion and the guard takes a shotgun to the prisoners, wich blows out a tire and da bus goes off a legde

1 guard unchaind  harrisin forde to help people as hes a dr but a train is comming and he saves a  guy as the inmates scatter like bugs when you turn on da light

train nails bus asnd goes off track and over a thing and blows as ford escapes

the black guy tells him not to follow him and ford runs off

tomme lee jones from men in blicketee black andthe bad batman with ace ventura shows upand takkes over thew investigatiob as the sherrif sez the guys not there got iced

they find tommys leg irobs and tommy calls out a search fotr fords a55

they find a body and ford gets to a hospiyal andpattches his a55 (literally)

he evades a nurse and shaves his soviet looking beard  to digivolve into han solo

after eating a cripples food, hewears a dr's coat and evades a cop who dont recognize him  and gets away in an ambulance

tommy and crew look over fords stats and hear he was seen in an ambulance jackiong and they go after him in a chopper

he escapes in a tunnel andas da cops go in both ends (gay!!) he sneakks around and gets into a drain

they figger it oot and go after him and tommy slips and falls and ford has him a gunpoint

ford sez hes innocent but tommy dont care and after a chase, tommy has fprd at gunpoint annd ford jumps through a water thing off the thing holding back da watter

tommy comes out and cals for a search of the river and area but people say ford bit it

ford diddnt bit it and gets to shore and escapes tthrough da woodz and then its night with blood hounds and choppers searching

ford flashes back to fighting with 1 arm and goes to a truck stop to recolor his hairandd later hitch hikes

da next daye da cops track doowb a lead and catch black guy who's in a home with a fam

shoot him in the ding d0ng!

after taking him out, tommys maan is bummed about having that guy capped annd tommy twllls him he dont bargin

imagine if tommy jammed his gun up the guys a55 and blew him apart!?

ford calls  guy asking for cash, oh its his lawyer, who sez he cant aid him

but tommy tapped the lines and got thecall and using the bg sounds, he  figgers out where ford is

allthese insane escapees ford makes is right outta indiana jones

later ford asks a homie for cash but books it when a cop is near

jjones brain storms with da team over why ford wacked his woman annd they say he''s a dr and dont need da cash

ford moves into a polish chicks place as hes in chicago and its fulll of poles

forde goese toe the hospitale andd covers his face with a thing to look wounded and chex da fake limbs thing

da cops grill da hoie who is complient  and sez ford is innocent and smart

is this on deadly ground with Segal?

didd this rip that p o s off??

then a montage of ford going aroundd and cops asking dr's about ford

form finds infoo on the 1 amr guy annd has creepy dreams that wake him up in time to see da cops comming 44 him

his woman was in em so i assume shes ghost helping him

but turns out the cops were just arresting the polish woman's son forsellling drugs to little girls

is he gacy gx?

but straight?

so later da ford goes to a place as a janitor and chhex da computer annd prints out the info

gacy gx outs ford as  the fugativee amd da cops czech the poles place

at da hospital, ford sees the workkes are f ing up a kid who needs help and helps him instead of leaving by filling in his chart and wheeling him to the room to fix him

1 dr wonders why ford didnt follow her orders and takes his ID badge to out him

ford books it and da cops come by and chat with chick who knows ford saved that kidd

1 cop who looks like ryan from cinemassacre, wonders why ford went to a hospital with all its cops looking for him

so ford calls around  faking being a dr and saying hes checkking on a paatient to find infoo on the 1 arm

meanehile, da cops check thee computer for what ford did aand geet results and check em

then its the Saint Patrick's Dat Parade (Look out! Scotsmen!)

da ford goes too meet a convit and da cops are there near and the guy coonvict is black and ford leaves which can be edited to make him look racist

on da way out he goes by tommy who chases him but ford  gets out as the glass is bullet proof when lee opens fire on his a55

tommy chex da parade and ford gets away

1 character makkes many jokes against the irish and mocks ther lack of evolution as in the 90s you could joke about that

jk

after a press confirence where jones sez ford is guilty as te count found him guilty( so i guess OJ didnt really chop up all those people)

later han solo goes on this roof andbreaks into a place finds a fakke armm and has flashbacks with fighting 1 arn

he jacks some photoes arecgonizes a guy from the part he went to b4 his woman got it and sent the guy he needed to operate on

he calls the cops and leaes da phone off so they track it to the 1 arms place and see what he saw

1 arm returns home and cops grill him and he sez something about a new dryug and that he's only being ttargeted by ford as hes got a fake arn

cops dont trust him and keep tabs on him while looking into da guy in da photo who was at da party

ford calls homie and sez its the party guy is setting him up and wanted ford iced but homie sez party guy bit it in a car last summer

da cops grill homie and he sez ford hasnt been to SEE him (which is true as it was a phono call)

da cops find the party guy woorked at fords hospital from enhancing da photro

ford  meets aa black friend and geys items from the drug used and goes to da hospital and checks the the evidence

all tissure used in the study was faked by being from 1 liver

then goons co,e to the black friend and 1 arm is there

also half the samples were signed for the day party guy got it and theres probably another guy above party guy

also the samples from the 1 liver were replacing fords work to make the drug seem safe

the goons were cops and using info they got from black firned, they see the guy above party guy, above guy, is connected

da cops figger out 1 arm is working as a guard for the drug company and there was a call from fords car phone to 1 arm the night his woman got wacked

they wanna ring in 1 arm but he's gone

later on a subway,1 arm coonfronts ford and a cop calls out ford

1 arm caps cop and ford beats up 1 arm, a handicap and handcuffs him to the train and books it too this banquet with the above guy

tommy figgers out wherre hes going and goes in looking for him

at the banquet, above guy sez the drug has no side effects and is superior but sees fordf and stumbles

ford sez above guy is wrong and he can prove it and outs him in front of everyone for switching samples and falsifying research so the drug would be approved

they go into the back room and beat on each other and ford holds above guy over the buiding side

of course the good guy cant iintentionally kill anyone

btw this seems a lot like bbatman by burton

a chopper shows yp and ford  books it and they open fire on ford but tommy makes em stop so tommy dont get j fk'd

ford beats on above guy and they fall through a sky light and on an elevator and above guy breaks tthrough

they stop on a floor and limp around and cops go after em from da roof down

tommy lee jones yells to frodo he knows ford is inocent and above guy borrowed fords car and keys to do da hit

above guy was gonna cap jjones but ford beats hm out with a pipe and saves jones

ford is taken on and above guy is put in an ambulance as hee's probably got brain damage and its revealed jones did care but  didnt let on

they drive off as credits rool

the end

well, that was pretty good

nice action myatery 90s film

good effects and plot that gets a bit complex at times but is mostly digeatable

i can see why the 90s loved this film

it was cool and is fun annd well made

its like almost 3 hours with adds but inst too draggy or slow

i liked it and it holds up

btw, if the drug was dangerous, wouldnt there be a recall and huge lawsuits that end the company if it was released?

for the fugitive 2 i want the guy who set the whole thing up to be crippled from the damage the fight with ford did and he's found not guilty by jury sympathy. then he uses his companny tech to rebuild his body with cybernetics and bio enngeneering to become a bio android with living machinery and goes on a hunt gor ford to take him out in revenge for his crippling and ruining his plans. also its a 32/64 bit 3d platformer game on sega saturn, ps1 and n64 where you play as the biio android and go around taking people out with built in weapons around a  3d city like Spider Man on N64