Good Will Hunting Review

 Note i spell good llike will

good will hunting

this is my revierwe on good will huinting form the distant future year to alfdrted hitchcock of 1997(the years the global civil war in robotech happened)

its directred by Gus Van Sant who did Finding Forrester

it stars the devioplved matt damon from Field of Drams\Geronimo: An American Legend\\Finding ForresterSaving Private Ryan\The Talented Mr. Ripley\Titan A.E.\Ocean's Eleven\The Bourne Identity\Confessions of a Dangerous Mind\The Bourne Supremacy\Stuck on You\EuroTrip\The Brothers Grimm\Interstellar\the martian\Elysium\Arthur, back door ben affleck from Buffy the Vampire Slayer\Shakespeare in Love\Phantoms\Armageddon\Pearl Harbor\The Sum of All Fears\Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice\Justice League, robin williams from Popeye\Awakenings\Hook\FernGully: The Last Rainforest\Aladdin 1 and 3/Mrs. Doubtfire\Jumanji\\Jack\Flubber\Patch Adams\Jakob The Liar/Biventennial man/A.I. Artificial Intelligence\ One Hour The Butler/mork and mindu/happy days/Sesame Street\SVU, the neutered Stellan Skarsgard from The Hunt for Red October\Deep Blue Sea\The Glass House\Exorcist: The Beginning\Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist\Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3\Angels & Demons\The Avengers, Minnie Driver from Hard Rain\Princess Mononoke\disneys Tarzan\South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut\0-0s The Phantom of the Opera, the awful Casey Affleck from Ocean's Eleven\ParaNorman\Interstellar, Cole Hauser from Hart's War\White Oleander, Scott William Winters from Law & Order/svu, Christopher Britton from Maximum Overdrive/The Day After Tomorrow\Death Note\the 90s X-Men\the 90s Silver Surfer\My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic\Marvel Super Heroes, George Plimpton who played the evil dean in B0ner Academy where he expelled Boogerman after He replaced his tennis racket with a rubber phaIIus, Lawrence of Arabia andf Intellivision, adds in the 80s for mattel thew he man and barbie guys, and a few in cr-p i never saw b4

i never really saw this but heard of it

after title and credits whith devil guys the weinsteins and kevin smith, we get back door damon and bboorty boy ben who wrotew this, going shomehwere and then we see a college classd of some teacher doiung soem math cr-p

whoever solves the equation gets fame and fortone and whoener finds one piece will be king of the pirates, belivee it!

soviet matt is a janitort and looks like hes got the downs a bit like in team america and sees the board

then he goes to some bar with back door benny and ben wants to b0ne some chicks but they dont want his irish devolved a55

no one likes the irish, they are surplus to requitements

then a montager of matty writing on his mirror in marker and erasing it and doing his cleaner job

then hes playing base bakll with ba rock who sayin affleck and throws the ball at him and benito tries to naiul whim with his helmet

later theres word going on that someone solved the anti life equation like in jhustibnce league and no one knows who it is

benito and matemeo are at a baseball bame-oh and watching some kids playing

later malcontent matt goes out and fights some guys like its saturtday night fever or clockwork orange s but in slo mo like 300

he beats the black off some white guy to mmichaeljacksonize him further adnd the cops catch and beat him

eat that uyou candy a55

in class the teacher wants the myster math magician in attack mode to reveal himself and no one comes forwardf

so monkey matt gets outta jail and then goes back to school and writes on the board but the teacher sees it and confonts him

matt sez f--k you like hes devolved and gets away and when the proff finds the board he sdees its right

is this like a super hero movie for nerds?

ike a gay movie for sodomites?

or a commie movie for soviets?

so matt and his droogs ggo to a bar for a bit o dsee ultra violence and hit on a chick but some human reveals that he knows ben is a dumba55 and didnt take the cource by using big words and about the class

matty defends matt by showing him uiup in knowledge and what books he was quoting and how he wasted his money on a commie degree that he could have got for a library card

a chick chats with matt and he gets her number and shows it off to the college guy who tried to make ben affleck look like a duymba55(not a great challlenge)

later the teacher comes to a garage to ask where this ghuy hes looking for is and finds hes not in today but got the job through a parole officer

at court hes defending himself with archaic laws and the judge is a devolved bostonian and cuz matt has a long record he gets time

hope he drops the soap!

big black guy d0ng; eat this you candy a55!

matt damons candy a55: i dont consent!! but if i dont, its racist and phobic!

in jail matt talks with the chick and asks if shes a lawyer and teacher comes in saying the judge can release him into teachers custody if he works with the teacher and sees a therapist

later on da board matolini draws a triforce and scribbles maths and in therapy the dr sez not to waste time on his malcontent droogs who are devolving him

rise above the storm

so matt sez about the dr hiding about being queer and he dont care but dr denies this

dr sez "i cant deal with this nut" to teacher and hads better things to do

another dr has hikm on a couch and he talks about being b0ned and breaks into song ad this dr has enough of his adam sandler cr-p

teacher is p-ssed and matt sez he dont need therapy and teacher gets his room mate from coleg the genie from aladdin and jack and the bat in fern gully and that guy in svu

roin is glad to see him and at dfinner say how they havent seen since someone bit ity

ben and matt watch 2 guys doiung what looks like b0ning in a bouncy castle in full clothes

teacher sez matt was like robin and needs his help and robin agrees and goes to see matt who they talk of books and how matt thinks the books are no good

matt; it shouyld blow ur hair back! robin; dont got much left! me: robin wilinms IS hair!!

robin tries head games with robin but he dont fall fdorf it and when matt talks of robbins woman, robin grabs him buy his pencil neck and sez "u disrespect my woman again and i will end ytou"

finish him off prime! do it now!

send him to h e double california!

robin sez sorry and has a drink and later the chick gets these glasses witrh fake eyes painted on

mattolini meets her and she has a glasses and rudolf nose and does  amagic trick and they have burgers and smooch with consent uinlike weinstien and his homies

matt goes bakc to see robin and they go to a field and robin sez he realized matt is a kid and dont know what hes talking about and only knows facts and not experiences like the feeling of seeing the sistine chapple

itys like the batman tas ep whrere the fake batman had dates but not feelings like having a good steak

he goers on about life and love and how you gotta care of others more than yourtself to get it and how assuming about him form a painting is like robin assuming matts life from oliver twist, but he can try to deal with him

later after throwing cinder blocks off as buiolding and calling but hanging up on his gf he called, he goes to see robin and they sit in silence and after it, robin sez he did it sto prove he dont gotta talk to robin if he dont wanna

robin talks with matt about chicks and matt sez he b0ned and big time and robin talks of his dead woman and how matt not trying with his new woman so he dont ruin it is a waste as if you do that you might as well not be with anyone

matty goes to a dog race with the chick and at lunch reveals hes got 12 big broths like in The bible wiith Jacob and lives with 3

at therapy he asks if ronic wondered what his life would be like if he never met his womana dn robin tells his story ofmeeting her and he regrets nothign with her and goes on about a cr-ppy a55 baseball game

robin however skiupped the game to be with her and never regretted it and watched the game on tv

later chick plays with a magic 8 ball and asks if she'd be in the nba and it sez yes and she wants to meet matts frtiends but matt knows they s-ck and dont wanna

they b0ne and then i think meet matts friends as back door benny tells of a leprechaun b0ning a monkeys a55 as this is a classy movie and deserves the oscar

then benito tells of his uncle being arrested by a cop and drunk and a cop goes off toinvestigate a thing blowing and the uncle drove back when cop took too long but the next day the cop came and revealed he was so druink he took the cops car and the cop had to usze his car and was so embarrassed he didnt report it

chick tells a story of this married couple who sucks her husbands d0ng and when her husband wants to do something for her, chick says with a mouth of pop spilling out her mouth "hgive uis a kiss"

really classy

so they end the date and he dont show her his place or bros and sez next time

later teacher meets robin in a bar and he jokes with barkeep about his tab being too big for a lottery tickert but the ticket will cover his secks change operation

teacher wants to get matt direction and into the "right" areas to get his matyh up but robin reminds him of a silmilar case of the uni boimmer

then this guygoes into a meetiing and sez he can do better with an extra 200$ and whwen they bribe him, he sez hes gonna nail em legally but wait until i do or w./e and takes the money, and its ben affleck

hes scamming people? thats a bit high brow for him

you think he'd be beating peopke up for money and taking bites outta em

matt hangs out with chick whos a brit btw and has evolutoon challenbgs and they talk of mozart andf beeth oven and smooch and she wants him to come to soviet california with him after an offscreen b0ning

he dont feel good of it and b--ches at her abouthow she has money and is only slumming with him and she tells him off for beign afraid of not being loved back

he admits he had no fam abnd had smokes put out on him and knife wounds and she sez she loves him and wants him tyo say he doint as she can not be in his life

he sez he dont and it hurts her and matt leaves her to seppuku

is matt the bad guy in here? if so it adds up

hes a fouyl drunk violent monkey who needs to be purged from my blue and pure world

matt goes to turn in a paper and teacher sez that when he didnt go to a meeting he sent his cheif negotiator, was that what ebn affleck was doing?

matt b--ches about how math is easy for him and he dont like teacher f--ing it up

matt burns the paper as its of no woirth to him but teacher trieds to save it and matt breaks teachers heart by ruining his dreams

matts kinds awful, some someone b0nes him dead

at home, ben sez "if ur watching p0rnoes in my moms room again imma giuve u a f--kin beating" and "why dony u go j-=rk off in ur own hosue"

the teen j-zzed in a little leage glove cuz hes a p o s monekey whgo has no soul

hnnnnnnnnnnnng pssssssssssssssssssst!!

matt applies fort a gov job in code breaking and it has big bang theory things in the n s a?! good f-0-k! thats the bad guys! ur working for presidenty hussein!

matt worries about being responsible foir people being iced and how the gov would f its own people over and hire the gaijin and hturnbed it dopwn

he tells robin in a lng wordy monpologue and its all in 1 take and robin asks if he has a soul mate

matt sez sheakrepsrea nd other histortical guys and hes throwing away things for issues he sees 10 yearsd latyer

they debate abotu laying brick and how many did that to get their kids the chances matt has and how matt works at this hoghbrow university and solves others problems

ronin has enough of his cr-p and sends him out and matt b0--ches like a candya55 and robin keeps his cool liek miriah and sends himhome to j-rk off

nmattg calls his woman and she sez she loves him and he sez take care cuz hes cr-p

then a montage of him walking around as chick goes on an aeroplane to soviet california to live with the junkies and animals

mATT IS BUSTING BRICKS AND TEACHER CALLS THE COPS ON HIM so he can drop the soap and be bummed forever

he tells ben his woman went to claifoirta a week ago and how he dont wanna do high brow things

benito sez he's f;d but if matt wastes his life and stays in this slum hes gonna kill him(f-0-kin do it) and ben and benny and his droogs would give anything to have his abilities

each day when bne foes to see matt, he hoppes matt hisnt there as he'd have got a real life

teacher b--ches at robin for not helping matt and letting matt hang out with "ret-red gorillas" and robin sez hhe was abandoned and pushes others away b4 they reject him

teacher b--ches about robin not doing what he did and could be what he was but robin sez he chose not to be in their crowd and how they s-ck and he dont wanna let teacher f up the matt by pushing him to far and as they scram at each other the matt damonite comes in and sez "i waz jus leevin"

teaches goes to j-rk off in ben affflecks moms room and matt shows i mean is showed his file by the robin

robin tells of his dad being a druink and beating him and his bro and mom and matt tells of how his foster dad beat his a55

matt sez he dumped his womana and robin sez "its not ur fault" over and ovewr until matt breaks down

robin says "I'll help you through this time" and snaps his neck and matt falls limp to the ground and spazzes out before dying

jk really he takes a train for a while and then is in a room looking up and msuic plays like a f-0-kin horror mobie

he gores in to getta job and then tells robin he gotr a job from what teacher reccomended

then the therapy is over and he ca go on with his life of j-rkin off to p0rn0 in hben afflecks moms room

ther matt is gonna go to a collega and robin is gonna do cr-p and thery hug and he goes off

matt goes to his j-rk off friends at a pizza bar and its someones b day and his droogs got him a car and its a cr-pmobile

its will hunting whetons 21st b day and now he can do necro p0rn0

teacher sees the robnin whos going on a grand tour of the 3rd world and mightr wanna go to a reunion

thgey go to getta drink and its gonna increase the damage to their bdoiues and cancer risks and lesson spiritual defences to sdaemons

robin packs but not fudge and the matt sees him after dribing his cr-pmobile and how'd he know wehere he lioved?!

back door ben anus affleck knox on mattts door and robin gets a letter matt dropped off

bennet the sodomite sees the matt has transcended this devolved realm and ascented to higher life formes and goes off to eat his gun as hes got nothign left to do in this worlkd

his homie who j-rked off in a baseball glove gets matts seat and robin reads the note saying matt dropped the job to get his woman and drives off to soviet californas in a cr-ppy a55 car from soviet boston to b0ne some chick and play some nintendo

in the crtedits jaro dick

j canm mean y and y=ro is yuo in japanese but rude, and dick is, well yeah

adam gilmore? like adam simon sandler iin happy gilemore?

the ewnd

that was pretty good

i liked it

matts a p o s and his homeis and j-rkoffs but robin is good in it and does well as usual

he is strong but kind, liek optimus prime

this reminds me of 8 mile qabout a talented blonde guy and his j-rk off friends in a slum and helpoing him rise above

it holds up and has good emotion and some crass a55bnolery

robin deserved the oscar for this. its a great role with a biut of humor he often had

good music bydanny elfman and good filming

for Good Will Hunting 02 I weant him to hbe in the slums of soviet california and looking for his woman as the trail leads him through dark cesspoles of this rancids city and deviants who prowl thre area, kinda like a cyber punk game but in the 90s and more cannibals and junkies, also its a 16 bit game like shadow run on geneis sabut for tg16 sega geneiss, snes atari jaguar and gba where you play as matt and gotta do missions for these guys who will help you find your woman whos being used for relly awful p0rn0 by a gangg of junkies

Gun The Man Down Review

 note; i spewll gunny

Gun The Man Down

this is my review on Gun the Man Down fromn the distant future year to adolf mewnjou of 1956 (75 yewaRS BEFORE BATTLESTATRS THE RETUERN OF CONVOY TRANSFORMERS)

its directed by Andrew V. McLaglen who did McLintock!\The Rare Breed\Chisum\Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Wild Geese\The Shadow Riders

it stars James Arness from The Thing from Another World\Hondo\Them!, Emile Meyer from Shane\\Blackboard Jungle\\The Man with the Golden Arm, Robert J. Wilke from San Francisco\From Here to Eternity\20,000 Leagues Under the Sea\Spartacus, Harry Carey Jr. from Red River/Gentlemen Prefer Blondes/The Searchers/The Rare Breed/Billy the Kid Versus Dracula/Big Jake\Cahill U.S. Marshal\The Shadow Riders\Gremlins\Mask\The Whales of August, Don Megowan from Blazing Saddles, Pedro Gonzalez Gonzalez from Chisum, Angie Dickinson from The Black Whip\Pay It Forward/both vewrsions of Ocean's Eleven (which starred c-ck suckers frack sinatra and back door george clooney)Judging Amy, Frank Fenton from It's a Wonderful Life\The Legend of the Lone Ranger, and some guys on on candy A55 SUCKER OF D0NGS WIKIP[EDIA

I NEVER SAW THIS BUT f off capsa lockl, go to saoviet califorenia ands get b0ned dead by aids bags!

the movie is like 76 mins but grit uses adds to extend it to 2 hours, but skips the credits

after the mgm logo we get these guys planning a heist and 1 guy seems unsure and his woman aks if he wants to be in it

he sez its too late to back out now but its gonna be all right

spoiler; thats like a death note

so he goes off after smooching her and ythen we get the title and credits and its in b/w and widescreewn

so they jack the bank and run off and main guy seems to ahve been wounded but they make it back to da base

they bring him in and its rel=vealed the head of the gang iced a man who went for his gun and they gotta book it but they cant bring main guy as theres a posse after em

she dont wanna go but thewy take her and leave him to die but he gets up and sees em riding off

i assume hes gonna want revenge like with pumyra in tyhundercats

he falls and hears horses and rolls off and crawls under the houseas the posse comes

is this gonna be like the revenent with him being left 4 dead and comming back for revenge?

the posse talks about how they iced 1 guy and got away with over 40 000 $$ and as 1 was capped, the crooks would be going slow and they go after em missing main guy

wait they fidn him and bring him back to get treatment andf in jail they grill him and try to get him to turn them in for betraying him

he wont say much and the cops want to get the money back as the bank had all the towns money but he dont know where they are

he wont give their names and descriptions as he wants to be the one to end em but they hold him for the crime

after a year in jail and his name is remmington anderson like that guy lexington steele the gay xxx dstar b0ning men

this is like hokuto no ken how kenshiro was wounded and his woman taken and a year later comes back from h-ll to get revenge

he goes on a horses a55 and finds a guy he knows at a campfire making coffee in the fire

theynmak talk and how rem like dream hunter rem or rem from roboterch ii the sentinels was left and the otherts guot money

billy saez the area is too big and looking to find someone can take fortever and as rem leaves, the guy named billy like in midnight express who got b0ned a lot temlls him to check somehwehre

so elsewhere these2 guys talk of how its how liektn the denneis rodman song a55hole; i use public toilets and p-ss on the seat, i walk about in the summertime saying howa bout diss heat!?

1 guy is da sheriff and main guy comes ove and they chat and main guy rem likes i mean rides on

he goes through the empty town and finds a HORSE THAT MIGHT BE HIS AND GOES IN A SALLOON, wait, it was a guy in da salloon who sees him and goes back in b4 leaving and tells his boss that rems is back

the head of the ganfg sez not to do much and this minion sez hes pulling out (hot gay) and the chick is there and finds the rem is alive and in town

she sez she tried to forget him and head guy sez shes the only one he 'd hate morte than him

minion rides out but encounters the rem who pulls his a55 off his horses a55 and beats the black offa him, which i should have dssaid, kicked his a55

this is like midnight express with the guy bustuing the guy who f'd him and his homie but not biting his tonguie out

after getting him under a wagons a55 he sez "where (haed guys name)" and after that, the sheriff comes over and sez this is a quiet town

main guy rem sez the guy took his horse but hes not charging him with hrose theft and goes to the hotel or salloon

sheriff sez if rem had a bill of ownership then he'd have come to the sherrif with it but he really just beat the guys candya a55

minion gets his beating treated and another minion sez rem aint come outta da hotel

head guy sez "what do i do? run?" and woman sez"you did b4" and he sez "find him"

chick looks out da wiondow and goes out to da salloon and the deputee sees and tells the sherrif and goes back to his post by the salloion

chick goes to see rem and he dont wanna see her and thinks she left him but she sez she didnt wanna leave but it wasnt for the money

he hates her now and should have left her where he found her, in a salloon and she sez shes kind of a 5kank who cheeted and lied and did a lot of sins, like b0ning, but hes the one who made her wanna go strtaight

but he ruined it by running with the main guy and i mean bad guy and stealing money instead of earnign it, but she came to tell him that bad guy called for billy to jfk him

she goes out and back to the bad guys and back door billy comes to town but nthe sherrif thinks its not for the guy rem beat upop as he needs mnore money

sherrif sends deputree to go fishing for bass to keep a kid safe and the deputee so he dont get iced in the danger zone

deputee hates fishing and is probably gonna j-rk off on the fish before givbing it to main sherruf

biilly comes to salloon and is offered 5000 $ or 1 dollar for each attack point in 5 got dragon in tyugioh, so rem dont ice main bad guy

builly sez rem is his friend but will do it and goes out to fave the rem and finds a mexzico who sez rem went out and didnt say wejhere

back door billy walks around fotr a while with his spurrs jangling and the music playing and its ominous and pretty good

eventually back door billy goes to a barn and rem gets behind him and has him at gunpoint but his gun is holstered and builly sez "u dont stand a chance against me" and "i kknow youi give my kind a fighting chance" and draws on him as it cuts away

sherrif comes by and gives main bad guy the money on biully and sexz billy drew but wasnt fast enough andf as main bad guy rankin like nrankin bass like the bass the deputee caught didnt claim it as his, its gonna be used to prevent more billys from happening, i assume by a selective breeding program to prevent the lesser evolved from breeding, like california in the 1900s-1960s

chick is getting ready to leave and rankin the main bad guy sez shes cr-p and she sez shes gonna go and he sez "thn go, i nEVER MADE U STAY WITH ME" and "if you go you'll come back to me or someone like me and youi';ll be back"

so rem is in jail for some reason and sherrif gives him coffee wait i think its deputree and sez sorry for locking you up for taking out billy as he was a p o s and you did the world a favor

also the town usd to be peaceful until rankin f;''d it upo and got em into booze and cards and fighting and i think h00king

sherrif lets him go as he was defending himself and a mans got a right to defend his own life or the lives of others even if it means lethal force

but tells him theres a differentce between thatb a plain killing and if he kills as in murder, its the nooxze for him

rem drinks but sees his reflection and thrfows the bottle at the window next tro the mirror

at night the baddz skip town and chick goes with em and its clearl;y day but tinted to be dark as you can see their shadows in bright daylight

rtankin talks of how he thoguth she forgot about the idea oif settling down and living respectable and treis to kiss and maybe b0ne her but so they hear a sound and wander around in the dayloight night and when chick runs out and sez "rem look out" the renkin caps her and sends her to h e double soviet cl;aifornia

later rankin caps the last minion and thinks its rem but finds its himn and runs

rankin tries to escape oin a horses a55 and rem finds chick with an extra a55 blown in her

she sez he was the only one for her and they would havbe beeen respectable and then, she died, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

yuriaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

so the chase is on in the day and sherrifd and deputee go toward the area they are in and rankins horse leg f--ked out so he ditches it

so sherrif and deputee wait to have the ghuys come out and rem goes in and rankin tries to j fk him btu misses

they wander around and rem sees rankins shadow above him aND RANKIN DONT SEE HIM and rem gets his gun it dont fire

rem moves around and sneak nails ranbkin with a gunn butt then throws the gfun and beats on him then gets him up to slug him down

beat the black odffa him homie

wiggle eiggle

lee thedepiutyee sez "you didnt mean ur gonna end rem if he did it" aND SHERRUF SEZ"I DID AS HES GOT A REASON BUT THERE NO EXCUSE FOR KILLING"

die ina  pit of monkey spurm caps lock1 drink and get aids!

rem brings in rankin andf reveals rankin iced his woman but didnt end him and sez he thoguth of what sherrif sed about killing and gives rankin to sherrif

rem rides off to die in the desert as hes got nbothing to live for now that his womans dead and he goyt revenge and sahggerrfi sez he'df make a good citizen

the end

that was atually pretty goood

good pacing and flow and it goes by fast

it doiesnt drag and isnt a million miles a minute but gives breathing room

goodf acting and twists and style

nice filming and the msuic works

its a well made film and its does a good job at being bada55

For Gun The Man Down 2 i weant him to be wandering and comes across a heard of buffalo that sense his anger and ki and attack him and he has to fight them off, also he leads therm through the hills and evades them to buiold traps and plan his counterattcksd. its also a 16 bit game on Sega Genesis, snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA where you go in a RunN gun thing and in mini gamews, place traps toi help you in later levels

Kidnapped Review

Note: I spell like a kidnapped devolved guy

Kidnapped

This is my review on Kidnapped from the distant future year to D W Geriffith of 1948(50 yewars before the global civil war in robotech)

its directed by  William Beaudine who did Sparrows/Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla /Billy the Kid Versus Dracula /Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

it stars Roddy McDowall from Cleopatra\\The Greatest Story Ever Told\Planet of the Apes and itys sequels/The Poseidon Adventure\Embryo\Overboard\A Bug's Life\The Twilight Zone\the 60s Batman\Planet of the Apes the show/The Pirates of Dark Water\Darkwing Duck\Batman: The Animated Series\2 Stupid Dogs\The Tick\Gargoyles\Godzilla: The Series, Dan O'Herlihy from RoboCop 1 and2\ Halloween III: Season of the Witch\the 50-s Imitation of Life, Roland Winters from Citiozen Kane, Jeff Corey from Spider-Man: The Animated Series/1960s Star Trek\Little House on the Prairie/Fist of the North Star the 80sa movie/Conan the Destroyer\The Wild Geese\Oh, G=d! 01//Little Big Man\Beneath the Planet of the Apes\Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid\In Cold Blood\Miracle on 34th Street/Red Mountain, Erskine Sanford fropm Citizen Kane/Jane Eyre\Angel on My Shoulder, Bobby Anderson from The Grapes Of Wrath/It's a Wonderful Life\Samson and Delilah, Olaf Hytten from Arsene Lupin/Berkeley Square\The Moonstone\The Last of the Mohicans/the 30s a star is born/The Good Earth/Casablanca/The Ghost of Frankenstein/da 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Marie Antoinette/The Adventures of Robin Hood, Erville Alderson from 1924 America/Jesse James\Santa Fe Trail\The Grapes of Wrath\Sergeant York, Mary Gordon from our danbcing dauighters/Dynamite \the 30s frankenstein\Bride of Frankenstein\da 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\Mary of Scotland\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Fort Apache\Mighty Joe Young, anmd a buncha dead guys i never say in cr-p

its bnased on a book by Robert Louis Stevenson that i trhiunk my dad read me the classic comic of in the 90s

i never saw thisa b4 but here i go

wait wtdf

this has a different cast

sao f--k all that cr-p i jusat wrote, heres the real cast

this is from 1938 and is directed by  Alfred L. Werker who did Three Hours to Kill

it stars Freddie Bartholomew from David Copperfield/Little Lord FauntleroyCaptains Courageous, C. Aubrey Smith from the 40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\Beyond Tomorrow\the 30s The Four FeathersVictoria the Great/the 30s Romeo and Juliet\the 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\the 30s Cleopatra\Queen Christina, Reginald Owen from Queen Christina\the 30s The Call of the Wild\the 30sa A Tale of Two Cities\The Great Ziegfeld\the 30s A Christmas Carol\The Picture of Dorian Gray\Captain Kidd\The Pirate\the 40s The Three Musketeers\The Secret Garden\Mary Poppins, John Carradine from  Tol'able David\Murders in the Rue Morgue\The Invisible Man\The Black Cat\30s Cleopatra\30s Les Misérables\Bride of Frankenstein\Mary of Scotland\Captains Courageous\30s Jesse James\Stagecoach\30s The Three Musketeers\The Grapes of Wrath/Bluebeard\Captain Kidd\The Ten Commandments\Around the World in 80 Day\The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn\The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance\Billy the Kid Versus Dracul\The Howling/The Secret of NIMH\The Ice Pirates\Jack-O, Nigel Bruce ffrom The Charge of the Light Brigade, Miles Mander from The Private Life of Henry VIII\the 30s The Three Musketeers\The Little Princess/Wuthering Heights/Five Graves to Cairo\The Picture of Dorian Gray, Ralph Forbes from  Mr. Wu\The Trail of '98\30s The Three Musketeers\Mary of Scotland\330s Romeo and Juliet, H B Warner from The King of Kings\A Tale of Two Cities\\Mr. Deeds Goes to Town\Lost Horizon\Victoria the Great\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\It's a Wonderful Life\Sunset Boulevard\The Ten Commandments, Arthur Hohl (A Hohl) from Island of Lost Souls\30s Cleopatra/Boy Slaves\The Hunchback of Notre Dame\\The Yearling/40s The Three Musketeers, E. E. Clive from The Invisible Man\30ss David Copperfield\Bride of Frankenstein\30s A Tale of Two Cities\Captain Blood/30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\The Little Princess\40s Pride and Prejudice, Halliwell Hobbes from 30s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeCaptain Blood\Mary of Scotland\30sA Christmas Carol\Gaslight, Montagu Love from Son of the Sheik\Don Juan\The King of Kings\The Wind\The Mysterious Island\The Adventures of Robin Hood\Gunga Din\The Man in the Iron Mask\The Son of Monte Cristo, Moroni Olsen from Annie Oakley\Mary of Scotland\Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs\Marie Antoinette\30s The Three Musketeers\Santa Fe Trail\Mildred Pierce\Life with Father\Samson and Delilah, Leonard Mudie from gordonThe Mummy\30s Cleopatra\30s Les Misérables\Captain Blood\Mary of Scotland\Lost Horizon/The Adventures of Robin Hood\Marie Antoinette\Dragon Seed\Royal Wedding\The Greatest Story Ever Told, Mary Gordon from our danbcing dauighters/Dynamite \the 30s frankenstein\Bride of Frankenstein\da 30s Little Lord Fauntleroy\Mary of Scotland\Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\Fort Apache\Mighty Joe Young, C. Montague Shaw from The Mummy\Queen Christina\30s Les Misérables30s A Tale of Two Cities\Little Lord Fauntleroy\Nation Aflame\300ss The Three Musketeers, Russell Hicks from The Birth of a Nation\Intolerance\Boy Slaves\30z The Three Musketeers\Santa Fe Trail\Man Made Monster\They Died with Their Boots On\\Samson and Delilah, Holmes Herbert from  Mr. Wu\30z Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\The Invisible Man\30z The Count of Monte Cristo\Mark of the Vampire\Captain Blood\The Charge of the Light Brigade\The Black Doll\The Adventures of Robin Hood\Marie Antoinette\The Little Princess\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Love Laughs at Andy Hardy, Brandon Hurst from da 20s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\the 20s The Hunchback of Notre Dame/the 20s The Thief of Bagdad\He Who Gets Slapped\The King of Kings\The Man Who Laughs\Murders in the Rue Morgue\30s Scarface\White Zombie\Annie Oakley\30s A Tale of Two Cities\Mary of Scotland\The Charge of the Light Brigade\40s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Jane Eyre\\My Favorite Brunette, Harry Tenbrook from The Mysterious Island\Scarface\20,000 Years in Sing Sing\King Kong\The Count of Monte Cristo/Mary of Scotland/Stagecoach/Mr. Smith Goes to Washington\The Grapes of Wrath\The Ghost of Frankenstein\Abilene Town\Fort Apache\Santa Fe\Singin' in the Rain\The Quiet Man\Calamity\Destry\Inherit the Wind BND A FEW FROM CR-P ORE SAMMA NEVER SAW\

so after pages in a book moving downward insterad of right, we get text sating in soviet scotland in 1747 ther klans rebelled against the evil brits

then a scene is klansmen vowing to fight on despite the breits doiminationg them like in robotech how they fouight the invid who occup[ied their planet

then the klansmen ride on to edibnbourough whoch On Lost Worlds: An ep on Dr Jekyll  and Mr Hyde where it shows how edinborough was a rancid slum like something outta Judge Dredd with people packed in 1000 people living on 1 block, and people throwing their waste out the window with only a brief yell to alert the alleged humans below! This was what we'd today call a 3rd world cesspoole

also On Lost Worlds about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde: It says in Edenborough was a guy named Burke r w/e who iced people and sold the bodies to Dr's to research and experiment on, but he was executed for his crimes and ther dr's used his body, while his skin was used for making book covers, like the Necronomicon in Lovecraft, many are still in use, sounds right, as they ARE brits!

so they get the the place and throw a rock in the window and the big wigs say they are gonna f up breck for defying them but hes got royal blood from the REAL qwueen, mary and they might have to marytr him for it

they post a reward and at this school for boys they say alan breck is a traitor to the king and how hes evil like teaching kids that Gweroge Washington and Jefferson Davis and Chroistoppher Columbus are bad

the teacher makes the kids say for tyheir god to save the evil kng george as they mush wortship him like a mad regent

so the posters are thrown with mud or maybe sh-t and main guytells em not to as its a royal proclaimation and alan is a traitor

the kid stands up to him like peoiple who read non gov things and counter the mainstream narritiove agisnt the brainwashed, ike in the matrix

the kid throws poop in his face for sdayign he wants alan to hang and the maion kid attacks this guy and smearts him in the lop

i hope thats mud but its probably waste

as class is called back the teacher takes him to the room and tells him to clean the mud off his face

i hope he dont get b0ned but this IS a school under brit rule

but really he sez his dad bit it and main kid never knew him

also dad gave him a note to send main kid named david as in dave the slave  to his uncle in edinbourough, and he dont wanna go as its a cr-ppy slum and has killers and poops

also teacher wonders why dad who was a poor got dave the slave to a big a55 school

he tells him to hbe cool and dont be a c-ck sucker and follow the law

then  they pray but is it to the brittish god or the Reasl God?

asks to have dave the slave honor god and king, interenting to have them as equals when they clearly are not

so dave the slave walks to edinbroughtert on his own and hopes not to be caught by some creeper who will saw off his legs so he cant get aweay and b0ne him non stop

he meets a stranger who sez edindougth s-cked and asks for snuff to snort as hes a junkie

then the town bell ringsd and they run and hear the tax collecor is comming and is called red foxx and to hide their sh-t

the birtmo comes over and looks shakepserian and is disgruntled that the people are not here to greet him

the slaves get him ale and whe  egrtting more, the barkkeep[ sees a guy who he tells to hidfe as if they figd hi  there, they'd burn his place

this is why We The People had 1776

so the brits are stealing money and calling it tax which is steraling and the rebels sneak out

1 guy has no monmey and used to pay under scot kings in grain and offers a cow but they stearch him and a chick sez hes a monister

1 sniper sends the brit to h e doubel engalnd and rides off

cuz the brit was talkking with the boy dave the slave, the britys think hes in on it but have no proof but that never stopped the brits

the rebels save the dave and ride off and jump walls as the brits fire on them

paul revere 0, dWN OF THE HERO

at da rebel base the sniuper is told off for icing red foxx as he wanted to spook the horses and getta way

the boy is dsaid to have seen the sniper and the leader shows him the faces and asks idf he saw any of em b4

he sez he know they are revbels and the leader is alan breck and they are traitors

thats a good way to get ended, reveal you know the guys who caught you

he thinks hes being smart but really hes a dumba555

dave the slave sez "orders order and the laws the law" alan tells them the king was stealing from hungry beggers, but like a beta male, dave the slave sez "thats the kings taxes"

alan tells him its englandsa king and dave is subersviant to the regent and sez things are better uinder the rule of the king

we like being slaves, its goodf for us, the gob knows bettere than the peopl

so they wanna ice him but cant as hes a kid abnd the sniper ias told to skip town

he dont wanna leave his woman and home and i think they are gonna sdend his woman with him

also i think davce the slave is gonna be sent out too

dave tries to l;eave but alan brings him with him so back door david wont out him

at night alan compliments dave on his good pace and eats some animal or yomai or daemon from scotland i know not of, i'm more into japanese cruyptids

they talk and get along and dave wants him to swear alliengece to socviet king gheorge

also they talk of the teacher beign a c-ck sucker for his klan beign quittewrs who fell to the regent by design

they go to tell teh woman her butt buddy was shanghighed

the girl and her dad are told off for wearing kilts and hunting the ?king's" gam,,e but its a rusde by alan to test their might in loyalty

the scots like him and are glad to have a hero of the inviod wars with em but he tell em  the butt buddy had to skip towen and hes here to bring her to America to live free

after soem dispute she agrees to leave with her love, like my grandpa who had to leave Slovenia in WW2 or be executed by commies and later bringing his wife and new son over to soviet canada

so alan uses a kart and horse to hide in plain sight like lancer in womens clothes where he'd be vivisected if he was caught

thjey fake beign a man his owman and son and sing irish songs under the name oif mackenzie

the red coats come up and stop em and grill em and dave goes with it

alan sez "you mistokok me for him?!" liek hes tony hawk  and sez "i'd get 500 pouind for a reward? if i were him i'd turn myslef in andf pocket the money"

the brits are tricked like with George Washington and alan and woman go off and let dave the slave fgo off to edinboughrtogh

dave has larned his ancestral pride and fights against the oppressors who devolev the protoculture and hgate em

alan and woman come to an inn and pay to stay and a guy macgregor come sin and they have a drink while he uses his mackenzie name

its really one of his droogs warning him of the brits and offering to take her to the sniper and they say "health to king george and confusion to traitors" to keepm up apprearences

they talk of what to say about the kart and the boy and the kaenzxiers go up to their room

in there alan tells of her possible future with the sniper and how its not alans life

she gets the bed and he gets the chair as women get it easier than men and later the brits break in at night and go to his rom without a warrent as america hasnt invented it yet

they get in the same bed and the redcoats come in and she sez "do i look old enuff to have a boy dat big?" and da brits say "sorry, but we had our orders" like its nuremberg

in the marsh or a morass or w/e, dave the ex slave sees guys diggin in it and he comes out to em after they heare him snapo a twig

he asks where the castle balfor is and they say to stay away from there as its cursed or something

he goes up and theres lightening like its a 90s cartoon and maybe castlevabnia

in there is a devolved loking guy who tell him to gtfo and dave sez hes here to see his uncle ebeneezer (this wa before scrooge) and hes let in

devolved guy sez hes him and dave looks like his dad alexander and how alex is in h e doubel calefornia

the letter is sealed and  and they have dinner and uncle lives alone in this big a55 caslte and he sharews his food and a;le and davee says grace

dave reminds him of the leetter and uncle reads it andsez it only sez dave is his now and cr-p about family but hes obviously hiding things

when uncle sleeps the dave reads a thing saying uncle is the big bro

uncle wakes up anbd tells him his room is at the top of the place in the dark

dave goes up this stone staircase like a horror movie and bats attacjk

higher up isa hole in the stairs that dave doint fall in and goes back and tells off uncle for trying to kill him and how dave knows dad was the big bro so the inhertotance goes to him

uncle denies this but davbe takes the letter and reads that he should take him to see a lawyer

dave tells off uncle and saez no more of ur trix u yellowbelly and the next day they go out as he didnt kill him in his sleep

they get along now anduncle goes off to get tobacco and ddabve waits and chats with a guy abiout his travels and eating sugar caine and how he wants to see the boat but was never on one b4

uncle comes out with the captain and uncle jyuud him but dave tells him ddave is honest and takes him on the ship to try caine

caine guy sez captain brings thosse who wanna be smuggled out and theives and crookks ano as they talk, the ship leaves

dave tries to call for help but uncle laighs like hes starscream getting megatron

dave wakes upin tthe brig andcaPTAIN CMES IN SAYING HES  noty knowbn of this

dave had no water or food and captain sez no more screaming or telling on us and he agrees

dave is nbow reslav3ed

they go to glascow and get 22 new passengers and its the smniper and womAN AND captain tries to get him to pay 60,pounds but he goes wioth 16

also they claiom to be mackenmzxie and captain tries to get em more

they atre training dave to be a pirate and show him captai kids treasure thats a trick that they put salt on his thumbs and throw it in his face

dave recognizes snip[er and they both deny it as dave isnt a dumba55 now

ssniper thinks dAVE WAS LYING OF  being rich and is really a cabin boy

captain takes dave into his room and i hope he dont try anything  roman, asd in polansaki

wait its alan whos the mackenzie and she is faking being her man but shes gay for him now and he dont wanna betray a Klansman

captain beats dave to get the info outta dave on who the guyy is and dave throws a paper at the candle and escapes in the dark

good b/w and smoke and fog and chicxk sez they gotta get poff as they are gonna turn him in fgor da reward and i think shes lying

alan thinks dave turned on him and she gets him to ecape with him to not leave her to be b0ned dead by these animals in human flesh

alan gets dfave and sez "you told em i ws alan breck and if i see u again u';ll tyhrow u overboard" and a slave of the captain hears and tells him

capaton comes for him in the fog and there a beybattle with swords

alan does weell but captain sends his goons like its a video game and hes the boss and dave gets chick toi the boat and lowers it

alan knocks over a barrel of p-ss on wem and knocks em over with a swinging thing and jumps into the water and to the boat

also dave nailed one of his captors with a wood thing, probably full of sh-t

on the beacxh they ware at a fire and alan is gonna send her to glascow

he still thinks dave betrayed him and chick sez she mnade it up as she wanted to stay with him

what about her bf? he loves her and shes a 5kank!

alanm sez sorry and dave sez alan outed himself and chick sez dfave saves him

dave sez he admires alan and they rekindle the friendship in attack mode but he sez he wishes he werent a rebel

is this a thing on the civil war?

elsewherre uncle goes to this meeting and its alsan and woman

this reminds me of that pmovie with uriah, i think its david copperfield

they say they found dave the slave on a beach and have people recordinbg it on paper and the will take him if they are paird the money he paid the captain to kidnap david

alan sez its 200 pounds like my gf and unmcle sez it was 40 and they reveal they were recording it all

uncle storms off to plan his revenge and alan is glad he paid dave back but alan wants to send chick home

she sez "aint it scott law that if a chick is with a dude around the country side for weeks then thes marrieds?!" thatsd not a marriage thats pam anderson and one of her countless guys

so uncle is around and tells off captain dfor turning on him and that dave is with 2 homies and captain sezx "iom here to get em"

so these 2 bad guys teram up like in hu man meets thundercats with mumm ra and skeletor or darksrid and shao khan or ultron and sigma in all thwse crossovers and gets the reds afftert em

alan jumps out a weindow like the Right Honorable John Wilkes Booth and the reds arrest him for nmurder of the red foxx

captain and uncle are gonna get da reward but dave points out they kidnapped him and lawyer sez theyrd hang for it

they need to get the real sniper from the granity wall but it would mean him getting executed but she sez she'd do it iu mean hed if she aghrees to marry him and go to the carolinas

so alan is on tryal and is found gulty as he never had a chance with the courts hating him and his views being counter to their protoculture

might as well be apole tried in soviet uniot of being against the system

he sez hes not a killer and never concsented to the king and the klansmen try to get the area leader to change his mind, even offering to serve the regent, butthe area leader sez they must execute him to make peace

so is this a ritual sacrifice? i know the brits are into that with their sults

dave and chick show iup and he has a plan and she meets the alan and wants to marry him

they ahve a moment of softness and shes busted up over him gonnea be executerd

dave tryes to talk to a guard who send him on his way and sneaks aROUND AND in the arera hes in, the area leader is told the hangman is gone, booked it or the klans got him

dave goes in to see him and tell him he saw the sniper and names him, jamie, ike that oliver candya55

he offers to do anything to spare alan as they can let him go to some elsewhere and leader sez n and hes not gonna string up david for helping a fugetive

dave sez alan and leader are alike in how thewy love scotland, and alan i mean david has seen both sides of the issdue and made an informed decision on both after weighing the facts

lrader goes to see alan and sez alan has great sway over the scots and leader dont, but if he tells the scots to not fight, then he can prevent killing

or, he could  start an uporising and remove the devolved brits from their protoculture

alan sez he wants peace but the brits are oppressign them and jyuuing em of taxes, but leader sez he wanted to but it takes time

alan sez leader sed that b4 and if he resigned or something

alan knows hes gonna be executed and hes give uip his life if it meant change and i think leader sgrees and sez they might have been friernds had things been different

like hitler and stalin?

in church the chiuck prays to The Lord to spoare alan and lawyer i think reads The bbile as the drummers play their tuine

alan sghowes up and gives a speech saying the duke leader agreed to lessesn the taxes and he'd step down flike susan mcpolish name after raeping youtuber for years like weinsterin on all those women

they agreed to have the scots klansmen not be violewwnt and he'd be exiled instead of exceuted

bart or w/e davids name is tells chick and they burned the gallows which is still goofd wood and later alan sez bnye to his droogs and goes of with alan to be in america and dave stays behind to be a real scotsman and manage the castle 

the end

that was actually qwuite good

nice 30s style like the scarlet pimpernell or treasure island or jamacia inn or captain kidd

good acting and the guys in ehre did a good job

bart was well done in his rtole and alan's actor did quite well

the chick was good and the uncle was nice and evil

good msuic and a bit of action and it holds attention withough being light speed and all things happening at once for seriuous adhd kids\

a grande olde movie ehe whate

for Kidnapped 2 i want the sniper to team up wiuth the piurate and the uncle and forme a tirumverate to try to brign dowen david, but he's been taking ;lessons in fencing and scottish kung fu. also the new guy in charge of scotland doesnt care about the promises of the past guy AND TRTEIS TO CRUSH THE SCOTS UNDER HIS HEEL  f off and die caps lock, im sick of ur sh-rt, go to h-l;l with jfk andf gacy and trudeau sr! so also the new guy in charcge is oppressing the scots and the scotts get help from Japan who sennds a fleet of ningen from the north and they battle the navy of the brits, also its a visual novel gam,e where you play as david and meet a girtl and deal with events of the time and daily actions ike a life similarot of him like yugioh gx dfual acandemy on gba but this is opn 32/64 bit consoles like sega saturn, Nintendo 643 and playstatyonm and 3D0 where yo can also make dals with historical figures as america is rising

A Man Called Sledge Review

 Note: I swell sledgealiciouis, i mean spell

A Man Called Sledge

This is my review on A Man Called Sledge from the distant future year, to buster keaton, of 1970 (30 years befgore transfoormners season 3  in hapaN)

its directyal by Vic Morrow who i think got chjopped up in the twilight zone movie

it stares James Garner from The Great Escape/Duel at Diablo\Victor/Victoria\Maverick/Space Cowboys\The Land Before Time X\The Notebook\The Rockford Files, the commie Dennis Weaver from The Lawless Breed\Touch of Evil\the 60s twilight zone/Duel at Diablo\he Simpsons, Claude Akins from From Here to Eternity\Inherit the Wind\Battle for the Planet of the Apes\The Rifleman\the 60s The Twilight Zone/Eerie, Indiana, John Marley ffrom I Want to Live!\the 60s The Twilight Zone, Wayde Preston from the 90sb Captain America, Steffen Zacharias deomn dearth wish 02, Vic Morrow fropm Blackboard Jungle\The Bad News Bears, Fausto Tozzi from The Black Stallion, Angelo Infanti from The Godfather 01, and a buncha italianoes, or italianix as the beta males say, i never saw in anything

i never saw this b4 but its giving on grit

so it starts withtitle and credits and its colored and widescreen and has some hose cart going through a snowy area

they get held up by bandits andthe driver is capped and they ride off into the snowy area

at the night the robbers get to town and its snowing and go to da dsalloon

theres good amera work from below and turtning to give an offbeat shot

they drink and this h--ker has a shadow behind her that looks kinda like vampyr from the 30s

the robbers talk about how main guy james gardner said he accidentally blew ouit the driver and later he goes to maker out with some blonde

in the real version they were b0ning

then more creditsd ans as card game buyyuy not yugiog so i dont care

this was by Dino De Laurentiis who usually does good things

so this devolved guy wins a game of cards and gets capped and gardner named sledge like rush and sledge in angel blade comes out in long johns and the guys there get him at gunpoint and show him they iced his friend the devolved guy

sledger is kinda spazzed out and falls on the body of his droog but its an act and he pulls his friends gun and caps em

soret of ninja moves or drunken boxing and how they fake being out of it to sneak attack

so the sledge ghoes out in the snowy wastelands and then in a deser lik how in the g1 transfrmers ep fire in the sky, the desert by the ark got snowed over from the decepticons draining the earthsn core

latere jim gardger shoves a guuy in a mean house with dead animals hanging and asks hy hes following him

fololwerr sez hes actually loking for gold in this prison  asnd jim is gonna hang him in the moke house but sees the gold and asks him more info

chaser is cut free and spazzes out over missing it and theres 30 000 $ or mayube 300 000 $ and gym gardna brings him to a bar for a mewan and drinmk and woman

wait its not at da bar yet and the peopole in da bar fd da floor and it broke and the organ fell through

not a male organ like the thing guys pee out of, but a musical organ, and not a fluete out of skin either

so jin goes to dfas bar and gets a drink and food and sez to some guy his dvolved partnetr died in a cad game like a yufgioh thing where they get rityual sacrificed to the gods and talksd with the chaser over the gold

theres like 40 soldiers hand hosen to defend it from some place they dig it outta a hole in the earths a55 and they dont travel at night

tyhey have it in a special cell in a safe and i think its been going for a decade

the jail is like a fortress maxcimus and the chaser can sense gold with its smell like an animal or something

imagine if he was in a bed b0ning coins like the 20s movie Greed by Erich Von Stroheim

man we're 30 mins in with adds, that felt like nothing

so the gang goes to towna nd theres a lot of mexicoes there

chaser goes to buy ammowith some chick and the store keep looks like a mormon

jimmy g is there and i think sherrif is getting nosey and asks chaser about why hes buying ammo

chaser sez hes going east with a family and needs to watch out for indians and as sheffuf takes chaser out, jimmy gets sherrfi at gunpoint and has the deputee broguht in and sherrfi knows slegde

deptuee comes in and mormon sez its a slegde and slegde tghrows sherruf and caps deptyee as hes reaching toi blow him out

a gunrifht breaks out like its a rap concert except rap is not msuic and these people are less ugl\y

sledge has sherrfi call off the fuire and 1 guy on a horse is already dead and sitting on the horse liek El Cid

the gang gets the horses together and uses them az a human animal shield and walks on with 1 of em dead and riuding

jimmy ties sherrif to the corpse and sends it out for the apache to eat and rides off another way

thern its the valley and te gold convoy coems through and the gang is in the hills watching em go thoruh

at the base they pan to get da gold and figger the guard didnt use their guns in 10 years and aint pros buiit jimmy and his droogs are

later jimmy goes by to em to see how close he can get and they eventually get into a cross foiirmation and ready arms

so jimmy goes off and in the shak they replan how tom take tyhe gold an dworry of the sherrif comming for em and they shouldve iced him when they had da chance

so 1 guiy wants to quit anbd sledge goes to see his womanawhos totally into him and wants him and love s him and its a nice moment of romance like robotech or don bluth

so they talk more aboiut if they can get the gold and if there a combo lock on the safe and they agree to do it and have chaser make a map of the jail and if its off, hes gonna ice chaser

so at the night they brign slegde to jail and say "we got luthor slegfde" and they bring him in like a fhorse by the greeks to thre trojans

the warden is suspect as its usually the sherrifs johb and when the sherrif comes in he beats up sledge

police brutality! animamality! babality! fatality!

the warden sez not to and they are gonna keep sherfif and slegde in the cell but when sldge sez "i hear ur good in bed" to the sherrffi the sherrfin beats the black offa bukm and is taken out

this is a prison movie!@ dont drop the soap!

sledge is taken to supermax and the allegded marshall is one of slegdes crew in realityt but is faking it

impersonating an officer? thats could land him in jail, oh wait, it did!

so they go to some jail in the fortress maximus and the inmates are going mental

jim and bud are gonna make their move butthe guard comes in and shuts up one of the inmates with a hit

he tauntys jim but jim granbs his nightstick and beats him out with it then escapes with the guys keys

the inmates tell em somethingand the other guartd comes in telling guard 1 to keep the door cl;osed but when he sees guard 1 is held up to the gate, backes up

tyhe inmates grab him and p[ass him from cell to cell and i now realize that the guard 1 keys were thwe wrong ones

they say to guard 2 to throw tyhe keys out but he drops em and 1 grabs it and unlocks it

guard 2 is dead or blacked out or something and jimmy unlocks the cells and the inmates gget loose and free more guys in other areas

its a prison riot and gim uses his jun to shop open the other guns

now its chaos and also daytime and the guy in the tower is using a gattling gun on the iunmates

jimmy goes to get the combonationm from the warden but the inmaters shanked him and when they come for jimmy he ends em

not the inm,ates! they were victoims, of their oppwn ewvil!

so a gang guy uses dino might to blow the door open and is pretty close so hes probably got some shrapnel and splinters in him

so they go to da core and try to unlock the safe as the chaser dont know it and move the knob bit by bit until he hears it clink and opens it

they only got some time before the gold forces come and the door wont open so they are gonna leave the chaser there

but chaser rememmbers the wheel has to be turned 2x and they try it and it really opens now aND THEY GET AXIS TO ZEE GOLDE

f off caps lock, get bummed full of aids by a societ calivfronians

they leave with da gold and fake marshal gets capopped by sherrif and bites itand sherrif is going agaisnt gardna in a midevil joiulty with guns

jim wastes sherrfi and they get out and are in the desert and regroup and play cards for gold

sledge got a double share and we getta montage of a song about how 7 men played for the gold and 6 died

man this goes on for a whiule

so chaser won the gold from a guy and sees he cheeted him with rocks in a bag and caps him

the men object and jimmsy sez the guy gave up his life to the man who caught him cheeting, but now is gonna go full on yugioh and win back the gold

after a montage, the chaser keeps playing and loses it all despite having the ability to quit and keep whatr he had left

jim is going offwith his winnings aND HIS MENM want more gold but jim sez "ur dead alreadsy, i took ur gold and fort the rest of ur life u'll remember it"

he lkeft em with a bit to split andrides off to a m4xoco town where to do some ruiituals mexicoes dpo instead of halloween or w/e

the men waNTED TO GET THE GOLD BAVCK AND f off anmmd die caps lock

the men come there and now the satreets are mpty and they want half the goldf he won

1 jumps him with a knife and gets his right armbut jimmyuses his legs to neck him and get his gun

jim calls pouiut "i did tio and ur next" and chaser se they an let huim come to ej

the guys say they got his woman and they want all the gold andn he calls their bluff

but they ave her and i think they beat/b0ned her to makke her scream

i think she bit nit and thery cut the scene for tv and jimmy gets a cross to aid his arm

jimmy rides in and they fire on him but he books it and they go after the gold

he dealss with a sniper and sneaks around and finds his woman who sez"its chasers faulty, we didnt need the gold to be happy" and bites it

jimmy ends the sniper and chaser knows its jimmy who did it as if sniper won hed be yelling it

1 guy goes off and chaser has da gold but main guy runs into the other guy and caps him

chaser hides the goild and when jim finds him sez "i hid it and you need me to find it" burtjimmy remembers his womans words and ends him

this is a lot like that werich von sttrohum film greed about gold ruining things

then the song again as jaAm rides off and the words say "they got what they deserved and that guy wwas me"

the end

that was quite good

nicxe editing and filming and good camera workl

its a darker strory that seemss like a 20s film a bit but off beat

nice color and its got that earthy gritty style you dont see when filming dfigitally

good acting and drama and writing and it has good pacing and flow

it goes by quickl and hhas a lot of shots of people walking or moving

its not fast paced and it takes its time instead of crAMMING EVERYTHING ALLL AT ONCE

p off and die caps lockl! u sub human animal! 50 years ago we'd have you upside down with a f--kin fork in yo a55!

but i liked it and its a well made film

For A Man Called Sledge 2 i want him to be wandering the wwasteland and coming across a chick who looks like his woman, he deals with his ddeelings but grows closer to her. also shers got a gang of mexicans after her as they lust for her blonde haiir and large buns and bust and he has to take em on.. Also itts aN 8 BBIT GAME LIKE LUCKY LUKE ON GBC BUT ON sEGA mASTER sYSTEM, gAME gEAR, nES gAME bOUY, tg16,, Atari 7800 and Lynx and you playt as burt reynolds or whoever was sledge in epo 1, james garfiield or somethitgg, asnd gotta take on the mexiicans and their half mexican half horse offspring they made whhen they couldnt find women

Yellow Sky Review

 Note: I spell like a ytellow

Yellow Sky

This is my review on Yellow Sky frpom, the distant future year (To Erik The Red) of 1948(50 years b4fore the goloval civil war and 70 years before the malcontent uprisoings in robotech)

Itys directa;l by  William A. Wellman who did Wings/The Hatchet Man/the 30s Call of the Wild/the 30s A Star Is Born

it stars Gregory Peck from The Yearling/Duel in the Sun/Captain Horatio Hornblower/David and Bathsheba/The Snows of Kilimanjaro/Roman Holiday/Moby Dick/Cape Fear/How the West Was Won/To Kill a Mockingbird/The Omen/The Boys from Brazil/ the 90s Cape Fear/Ther Big country, Anne Baxter from The North Star\Five Graves to Cairo\Angel on My Shoulder\The Ten Commandment\the 660sd Batman, the commie Richard Widmark from The Alamo\Judgment at Nuremberg\How the West Was Won\The Swarm, the sodomous Robert Arthur from Mildred Pierce\Ace in the Hole, John Russell from The Outlaw Josey Wales /Pale Rider, Harry Morgan from The Ox-Bow Incident\Madame Bovary\Dark City\Inherit the Wind\How the West Was Won/M*A*S*H/The Simpsons, Charles Kemper rom sdcarlet streert and The Southerner, and a few guyts i never saw in sh-t

i never saw this but i hear its based on The Tempest by shakesepeare

William Shakespeare used to be a happy guy who wrote fun plays, but turned dark after his family was killed by the Invid!

It got good reviews and whren I hear yellow sky i think vanilla sky with tom cruise

huh, its basded on an unbpublished novel by William Riley Burnett who did Little Caesar, scarface and the great escap[e

after logo we get credits toi epoic music and its b/w with proper fullscreewn

in thre distyant future yea rof 1867 these guys are horseriding throughthe wild and find a skull with an arrow in it, but no other bones

maybe iot was placed there as a message?

the people say the arrow is apache and they say the apache shoudl be souther

theres hills and salt flats near and its tough to go through and they go on to a salooon and get whiskey and look at a painting of a girl on a horse

they find there were some confederates in the town during the war and these guys were untionites

the guys talk about what thew woman tied to a horse is gonna do after the horse is done and i thunk n ther real veriosn they wanted her to b0ne the horse

mian guy played by peck hlds up a bank and the gang rides off but a guy chases them and theres a gforce behind himn

its a car chase in the 1800s and 1 guy in da gang gets it

the gang escapes into the desert and the soldeirs chasing em stops and sez "it'll save us the trouble of hanging em"

so the gang is mancontent over 1 of em getting it as they used to be 7 and now are 6 and they need luck

its like 60 miles across the desert and they divide the loot and 1 wants to go back after dark

1 guy has whiskey in his water thing and wants water and as they go on, the horses sink into the ground and the guys gotta come off the horse like raoh in hokuto nno ken against toki

later whistkey guy tried to ujjack a dudes water but is fought off and hit in the head with a rock

later theres something about a horse having issues and preck sez its not the horses fault it belongs to a jacka55 and 1 guy shoots a lizard for some reason

whiskey guy is biting it from booze instead of water

they go on and find an empty town and peck finds a woman with a gun like its go nagai or robotech

they want water and sxhe sez theres a sping but they wont make it but they say tyhey will and she tells wem where it it

they go to this water hole in the earths a55 and later the peck goers to tell chick she wants i measn they need food and they got money and she sez they otta go and aims a gun at him

he takes her gun but sher slaps him like a b--ch but he nearly beats the black offa her

1 guy sez she was raised by apaches and i think it her grandpa and hes got a gun pon the peck

grandpa has a plan and peck goes off and when chick gors bythe water hole in the deserts a55m  bthe guys comment on her looks

careful, she tried to seduce Moses!

so she gets waer and pulls a gun on a guy wanting to help her with water as she probably thinks he might rery to b0ne her

aftert she gopres, peck sez not to f with the guys in th house, even him

later its the night and the guys are the sleeping and peck is outsdide and =chick goes by

poeck tries b0ning her and they fight and he beats her down and headbutts her and dont b0ne her as hes not as irish in here as many irish really are

he sez he showed her he could if he wanted and she sez he stinks worse than apache

after he gets off her, she fires on him and i think missed and grandpa sez "whats going on here?!" and she sez she saw someone prowling around

grandpa sez she could have ended him as no one misses that close

later peck tZlked with a guy about how the chick and grandpa are uup to something and might have apaches there as he smelled em adn might have gold

peck wants to move on but this guy wants to get the gold and how he got jood by a guy who took his gold and a wopman he had who betrayed himn and now she gets beat by her man and he wants to come back rich and to get revenge by showing her up

thats why h joined peck and peck still aint interested and peck is gonna stay by the water hole where no animals will go for some reason

that guy sez this chick reminds him of his old gf who dbetrayued him like how kim kardashian married tht guy for 23 months and ditched him for a bigger blaacker guy

so peck shaved and has baby face and comes across the whiskey guy who is looking for the gold like the others and peck has whiskey duide come with him

peck confronts hius men for defying him and how they wanted him out and even if they voted, it dont matter as hes ther boss like soviet usion or soviet england woith the regent

as they talk, grandpa and some kid try to jkf em and peck escapes and he and his dudes hide in a barn

peck comes out and has a white flag and chicm aims at him and we see a view from the barrel like james bond

sahe sez, clode enuff, and he sez he cleaned up and shaved and wants to make a deal and sez they found her bullets and once she uses em up they can get her

grandpa has her ask what kind of deal as 50% of something is betterr than 100% of nothing

the gang oipens fiure on them and grandpa gets capped and bleeds and the woman and grandpa surrentder to get him treated

grandpa swings back booze and wants his pipe and figgers they are gonna torturte him if he hgolds out so he'd comply

he sez "wguess it wont do good to say we aint got any gold" then  says "what if i say we do  and dont say where it is?"

he sez they looked and found some gold and got some apaches and chick butts in saying "dont giove em da gold! its what u worked for" and howe he wanted the town to revive and how they dont dsserve it

grandpa sez they can gop 50 50 and giuev em 50 000 $ and they guys go to dig for it

as the guys dig, 1 guy tries b0ning the chick and she fights back but 1 other guy fihghts the mo les ter but chick tries to save him

peck comes by and tells him to stop but he wont so peck beatsd on him and holds him underwater

eventually he lets himn up and later its dark and ther guys make dinner and whiskey guy sings a country song about ffeeling like eating ur 6 shooter as 1 rolls dice

at the home, peck comes in and starts trying to make out with chick and then i think after they b0ned or before, talks aboiut his lifer story as quantrols men attacked and his dad died and he had to haver a gun in his hand since he was young

oh hes telling grandpa

so he tells of his mom being a good Christian and he read the bible as a 7 year old, which is sad as now he breaks the commandment against stealing, AND now he sez hes gonna stick to his deal and grandpa dont buy it

peck gets Grandpa's bible and swears on it to keep his dead f--k p-ss sh-t c-ck a55 p-ss agian aids

peck says his real names is james dawson, like jack dawson from titanic but unlike that moiviue, this doesnt feel like 4 hours!

the men find the gold and celebrate buit hear war drups and the szentraedi are attacking, i mean the apache

the apache drink and party and peck goesd to grandpa to confront him about grandpa calling for them but grandpa sez he didnt but sdiad if they sent the chief he could try to talk to the indian agent and help em with their issues

oh and the indians came to the house but left and peck saw

peck goes to his men and sez they are gonna give the man and his dauhgter their fair share and the men dont wanna do it and wanna vote on stealing more gold than agreed

the guy whos woman jood him sez no and they draw guns and peck escapes and his men turn on him

chick comes in and covers him with fire and he gets out with her and pecks men the peckers wanna make sure head dead so he dont come back and ice em later

also his z men name is stretch like from casper, and in the 90s casper movie, when pill pullman was possessed by the ghostly trio, tuirned into clint eastwood, rodney dangwerfield and mel gibson, and clint was in westers like peck

they go back to the house and pweck got an extra anus and grandpa sees the men tuend on peck

he gets outta bed and is ok after 1 bullet and peck drinks some of the booze grandpa gives him

chick tends pecks extra anus and later the gang comes for peck and readies an attack on da house

jood guy seems to take over butb 1 beardo wants the girl and jood guy wants the gold as he wants to surgically insert it into his body and become it

a wood place as bad guys attack and ther good guys are defending? like Birth of a Nation?

so jood guy sez hes gonna spkit the money with the grandpa and chick and peck sends out a hat and coat and they cap it

they saw it fall and thin hes got it but peck fires on them and 1 runs

whiskey guy sez one of his dudes got it in da gut and wants to be let in and peck sez ja

whiskey dude brings him in and one of the gang fires at the house and whsikey takes cover

i think one of the gang capped the other guy

the capped guy gets it and whiskeyt sez the capped guy is the only one who didnt wanna come here

whiskey tells em the plans of the gang and how they are gonna ice each other and where the horsdes arwe aND whiskey invites the last guy out there guarding the door in

potter from mash comes in and peck takes his gun and goes off alone for the final battle

so jood guy gets the gold in a horse and the beardo whomwants the chick uis luring around in a casino night zome or sometbingh

wait its jood guy who is in therte and peck is outsiode crawling around

beardo cocks his gun and jood guy hears it and peck runs in and guns go off

chick comes in and sees jood guy iced and the gold spilling outta his bag like a thing on Erich Von Stroheims Greed

the beardo is dead too and chick is freakin out and finds peck who looks dead

wait hes got dead dead and still moving and she gets grandpa and then we see the town is alive after a timeskip by neo galaxy eyes tachuyon dragons effect

wait its the town from b4 and peck and potter from b4 come back to it and return their stolen money

he gets a hat from a lady and gives her what she paid for it and has tuerned good

the prodigal son returns and has repented for his misdeeds

he put the wrong thing right like with the crow but less knifes in organs

peck returns and gives her a hat and its the chick and shes happy and tries on da hat and looks more femimnine and rides a horse wqith grandpa and the surviuving membners of the gand

the ewnd

wait, we get a note sayiong the national park service helped em by lettieng em film in death valley

why is that a park?! theres nothing there! a burning h-ll of sand and bones!

the end!

this was a good movie though

nicve story and good acting

bada55 characters andgood development

good filming amnd style

nice music and good actiopn

i liked it and its got a good effect and feel

although for a mobvie called Yellow Sky it had no yellow

For Yellow Sky 2 I want them to go in after a researchewr wjho went into death valley and when they casnt find him, they faLL IN A DIMENSION HOLE INTO A WORLD OF GILA MONSATEWR PEOPLE WHO ARE IN ANOTHERREALM, THEY GOTTA GET OUT and get the guy whpo's being experimented on by them and find that the vALLEY IS SO INTENSE AS An effect of the dimension hole and if they destroy the dimensuoin, the valley will recover from the life enertgy beiong drained tyo this wortld. alspo its a point and click 8 bit game like that Phantasy Star game but on Sega MaSTER System and Game Gear, Gamew Boy and Nes, TG16, Atari Lynx and 7800 wehere you polay AS THE GROUP AND GOTTA SOLVE PUZZ;LES AND f off caps lock, get b0ned dead by an aids monkey, and get the dimension reqactortr to blow and get out b4 it does.

Game Reviews Volume 27 From 2023 Part I

 Reviews on Games I beat in the 1st parts of 2023

Just beat the GB Speedy Gonzales by Sunsoft on my DS R4. I have the actual Gamer Pak but it stops working on the last level. You get Unlimited Continues AND a few number Password that starts at each of the 6 Zones. 1 button Jumps and thats it as its pretty much a GB Sonic Game(And was modded to be Sonic in Bootlegs). But you can't actually kill anything as touching anything from anywhere kills you in 1 hit. Except bosses who you jump on the head and they fall in 4 hits. The last boss is 5 of the same guy, 1 at a time, each faster than the last. Biting it returns to the same Section you left on but if you have guys left you return to a checkpoint. Even on a boss. Good graphics and music as its Sunsoft but as there's only 4 shades of gray, some parts are tough to tell as background of not. Also some walls on buildings are pass through and others ain't. There's Springs and Loops like Sonic and if you are holding toward the spring when you touch it, you skid and don't go full speed. You gotta walk to it and let go before hitting. You gotta hit Signs like in Sonic that are Checkpoints and activate things that let you advance like changing the level layout. Also is an Arrow thing on the floor that moves the floor brinks and switches that trigger a big black ball that chases you kinda. Its not a bad game and for an 8 bit GB thing, its close to Sonic. Its kinda clear the makers never went to Mexico as here's what I learned mexico is like by playing Speedy Gonzales: its near an ice cap, the pyramids and cheese island, its got big patches of fire(where cartels burn their victims?) theres deadly smoke from chimney's (pot?) if you touch a snake or a mexican you die on contact, fatal dark liquid falls from the ceiling(acid?) and theres "cheese" wheels everywhere(full of drugs?). Glad I did this one.. Oh and you can go up walls by going fast from a spring and  can even loop around things.

Just beat Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters on DS. Its an Action Beat Em Up based on the movie or comic or w/e where you use Hal Jordan to face 4 levels of planets, then do it again, then the final one. It has 2 save files and you return to the last save point after biting it, or the start of the boss fight when on one. B is Jump and again in the aid is turn on Hover and you can move anywhere free. Y is physical attack and A is ranged attack and holding it for a sec after unlocking it lets you do a super move that can break certain barriers. R is Shield that reflects shots and X grabs and the D Pad throws. Also holding Select heals you gradually but uses up Ring Power that refills on its own. On the Touch Screen you can tap things like a gun, blades, invincibility and a burst that knocks guys away. Some guys have an aura so you gotta blast it away with A. Down and B makes you do a Crush that like most attacks used Ring Ki. The touch screen also can summon a fellow Lantern to heal or aid you and you can tap the map on the lower screen to shine a Green Light on the level to uncover upgrades like Power Ups or new weapons you gotta Draw around the outline of on the Screen. There's missions that you gotta do told on the Touch Screen as well as areas you unlock by using unlocked powers  that often have upgrades. Sometimes you gotta stay in this Green Barrier and beat guys off til a Green Bar charges. Its by Griptonite and is like the Captain America DS Game. Its pretty forgiving which makes sense as you are Green Lantern, who's Ring was called Overpowered by Superman, The guy who can fly at Lightspeed and break small planets with his fists. I liked it and its nice simple fun to enjoy. Nice DS Graphics and good atmospheric music, but some parts are tough to see what's wall or not, but the lower map shows it. Glad I did this one. Only cost me 17$ Canadian with the middle man in box with manual and it plays and controls pretty well.

Just beat Kung Fu Master/Spartan X on Gameboy. Its a 1 plane Beat Em Up like Last Battle or Altered Beast. 1 button punches and 1 kicks but punch is less range than kick so I hardly used it. Down is crouch and Up us jump but on the GameCube Gameboy Player it don't work well with the GameCube D Pad. A+B is a Weapon you collect from beating guys on certain levels. You get 2 extra guys (at 0 lives you still fight) and 5 Continues but using a Continue restarts the level instead of a Checkpoint. Most enemies fall in 1 hit and some take a few. There's a few bosses that are tough but the game can be beat in like 10 mins on a good run. The 1st boss is impossible unless you walk right into him and beat on him and stay close. The 2nd boss throws oil drums so stand on the boxes on the left b4 his area and he won't pick up a drum and walk up, kick, and walk back. Time it so you land as he kicks and walk off and kick him and loop. The 3rd boss uses Napalm and fires usually3- 4 in a row with the 4th a bit after. He burns through you and you can't jump from it and it eats your life bar fast. Time it and jump and kick at him and jump back before he attacks. Oh and his level is on a Train like in Batman Returns on Genesis and has steam vents that damage you. the last few levels are actually kinda easy as you only gotta jump and spam kick on the last 2 bosses before the final one who can be beat by standing still and hamming kick. It cost me 30$ and is by Irem but is actually pretty good. Its a quick game to beat in 1 sitting and has nice start of the 90s GB Graphics and music. Glad I did this one. Its lite and simple but has that 80s Shonen/Steven Segal style of playing as a tough manly guy who beats dozens of guys easy.

Just beat The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes. Its the worst Zelda game I ever did. You play as 3 Links, and can be done as 1 or 3 (NOT 2) players with 1 swapping between 3 bodies. But the bodies don't take damage when not used, unless they fall in lava/pits, so if there's wind blowing, a body will keep falling off and resummoning to fall again. also you got 1 life bar for all 3 and if 3 fall in at once, you lose 3 hearts. Its Mega Man GB Style where you choose a dungeon and a Mission and clean 4 zones in it. the 1st is where you grab your Items and learn to use em, 2 and 3 are regular get to the end things and solving puzzles, and the last is a boss. you can Carry and throw the other Links and gotta use this to get across this and A is pick up/throw, B is Sword, and Y is use your Item, but if you are carrying a guy, you might wanna use the Item Button and get mixed up and throw the other guys. When stacked the bottom one controls them all and you swap Links with the Touch Screen, but its clumsy and not intuitive. After each of the 32 Missions, you get 1 of 3 Chests and get a thing to use with others to make into new outfits. Also is a 1 a day Game where you choose a chest to get a prize, but if its empty, it stays open until you get it. No traveling the world and finding dungeons, you go in the castle and choose it. Its hard to keep track of and manage all the Links and when you throw the one on top, it often lands on the other and you gotta switch to him to throw him off. Its graphics are ok and cartoony and theres a french theme of fashion and gayness. Also there's unskippable cutscenes you gotta sit through and I often find myself facing the wrong way or falling off cliffs as you gotta use the A Stick and its not very good. I hated this game and its an ordeal. Its not hard, just annoying and badly made. You get 3 Fairy's to revive you at the start of each zone and after that you restart the mission. You can replay missions but I never did. Bubsy was better!

Just beat Shinobi on 3DS.. Its  a mostly 2D and 2.5D Ninja game where you go through around 7 Missions of fighting Robots, Ninja and Mutants. B is Jump, Wall Jump and Double Jump but holding it lets you grab some walls and Jump off. Also it lets you stomp when used near foes in air as well as Slide with Down when on ground. A is Shuriken that has up to 6 but refills and using it on the 2nd Jump goes a Spray of Shuriken if you have 1 or more. Y is Sword but using it on a 2nd Jump does a Spin Attack. X is Grappling Hook above you and can 1 shot enemies or big damage on some bosses when you see it above em and its red around it, as well as going in doors and Climbing/Dropping  through some floors. L is Ninja Magic chosen by Touch Screen and R is Guard but it don't stop some things. I played it on Beginner as that's what the Resume Thing was and had Infinite tries and needed em. Its got a lot of pits and damage racks up. There's boxes to bust that have points and Chicken for healing as I guess this is a Christmas Game and some have Bugs Bunny Traps that blow when the fuse burns. There's things to unlock and a ranking system of achievements but I never got into that. Its got nice N64 or Dreamcast Graphics and really good music that sounds 80s/90s. It uses the A Stick and isn't too bad but getting the hang of it and knowing what you can do makes it easier. The game tells what to do and what button to use when a new mechanic is introduced and there's regular checkpoints. The 1 part I looked up on a walkthrough how to do is the Door Maze in the 2nd last level where you go in the Z Door in the hallway with Spike Traps in the floor. There's cool Anime Style Cutscenes and some enemies based on past ones like the Brains or Big Robot Men and there's a Metal Shark in a Lava Level like AVGN Adventures. Unlike Mega Man, This Ninja can survive Lava. Its a pretty solid game by Griptonite and is tough but with enough attempts, can be done. 1 level uses the Gyroscope but its not bad.

Just beat R-Type DX on GBC. Its a Shmup with the 1st and 2nd R-Type GB Games in both BW and Color and a DX version where its both games in 1 playthrough. B is fire and A controls the Option that blocks enemy bullets and pops enemies on contact. It can be equipped on the front or back of the ship. There's 11 rounds and you get a buncha guys but infinite continues and  you never go back from the Checkpoints. This is good as you don't gotta redo things, but you don't get all the power ups  and biting it starts you from base. There's Power Ups that add missiles and spheres above and below the ship that damage enemies and block shots and there's Power Ups for the Options like Lazer and Beam and you can charge a blast by holding B and releasing when the lower bar charges. It can hold up to 2 bars and the 2nd is a Spray shot. Its not the worst but 1 level had me stumped for years. World 10 boss is 3 Orbs on the side and a wall coming from them with revolving things that you gotta blast or Option Bump through. It kills you in 1 hit and after moving the doors sideways they return to straight up in a bit. Also is a number of bullets flying at you from both the wall and the orbs. But its programmed by Bits Studio who is usually bad and here the  bullets flicker out or don't show so you get killed by nothing. Also I did this on a GameCube GB Player and the D Pad is kinda off. After trying for hours on it with a bad D Pad I gave up, but came back later and found you can use Select on the Title and in Options choose the Level with A or B on it. But if you turn it off again without clearing the level or resetting or something, it goes away and you gotta go through it again. Also you can only return to the level you made it to. After trying again I made it to the boss but couldn't beat it. Then I played again and after over an hour and 37 Continues x 5 lives I beat it. The rest of the game isn't bad and it has good graphics/music and plays mostly well. Other than Level 10 its good.

Just beat Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS . Its the 4th in the fighting game crossover and you play in a 2D thing of fighting other guys from video games. 1 button is attack, 1 is Special attack, 2 are jump(as is up) 1 is dodge or block or something but I never used it as I'm like Ashita No Joe, 1 is throw Item and Start pauses. You use the A Stick to move and using it with the Attacking buttons does different moves. Up and Special is a super jump that makes you unable to move until reaching ground and if you hold Attack when pressing a Direction you can charge a hit for a bit. There's items from other games that do things and 1 is the Smash Ball that lets you do an Ultra Move. At 1st I tried Zelda as I was good with her in Melee, but its hard to use so I tried Sheik, who also isn't good. So I did Sonic and tried what I thought was the main 1P game. But you just go around and beat small fry's to get power ups then at some point fight 3 other guys in a battle or race upward. Then I tried Free mode and beat on Mario. Often Sonic spins off screen and kills himself. Eventually I found in a Small Purple option was a Classic mode where you face a few rounds like in the N64 version and fight the Hand Boss. Like the other games you attack each other and rack up damage that makes then fly further from hits the more they get until they fall into a pit or get beat off the level. Each character has different moves and stats like speed and power. Its not bad but 3 things bugged me. 1st: The 1P game is hidden away behind several menus. 2nd: The screen is small and hard to tell where/who you are. 3rd: The 2DS doesn't have a good button lay out for this, On the GameCube and N64, A/B were on the left and the jump buttons were on the right, but here A is Attack, B is Special, and X/Y is Jump and A/B and south east of Y/X. Later I found you can change the controls. The menu is hard to manage. Its not bad and has good Graphic/Music but I liked the 1st 2 Smash Bros Games more.

Just beat Tales of Phantasia on GBA. Its a JRPG from Namco that was gonna be a Novel, then was a Snes Game, then went to PS1, then that version came to GBA. You got the usual RPG things like beating foes to get EXP and Level Up and having Equipable Items and weapons, but the biggest thing is the Battles. Here you fight in a 2D Plane and move around with the D Pad and attack with A. B is  used to do quick moves you put in on the options and as you master em, you can use Secret Skills that are combos of other moves. I likes having Phoenix, Sword Rain, Chaos Blade and Swallow Dance Beast thing. Your party is AI run but you can use Select to open a Menu and choose commands. The AI can be kinda bad and your guy is a bit AI'd as he runs around before attacking. Some items can permanently boost your stats and if you are equipped with a Stat Booster, its boost is accounted for the 5%/10% increase, even when unequipped(But the Equip boost goes off). Its got quite good graphics and the music is epic. Its got a great story with good twists and the characters talk to each other and have personality like in Lunar, Instead of joining and never doing much. It took me around 70 Hours to get through including the times I got beat and had to reload after going in that Dwarf thing for several hours and start over. There's a lot of unlockables and hidden sidequests and some of it pays off well. You can cook food to heal but not repeatedly  and there's Titles you get for doing certain things that are for fun. Its not that hard as you can grind and get more items but the toughest part for me was the Dwarf Mine to get Pluto as its a long trip to go through and no save points until the end. Often I can back a foe into a corner and wail on them with special attacks until they bite it. Also all party members available get EXP even if not in battle, only in the party and alive. When doing a Spell the fight stops and we see the animation everytime. Also yo get some Magic back after a fight.

Just beat Shovel Knight on 3DS. Its a new 8 bit style game that is inspired by Ducktales, Mario 3, Zelda 2, Mega Man, Castlevania and Ninja Gaiden. You got 1 button to attack and 1 to jump and can have it so either a 3rd button or Up and attack is a special item. If you use Down when jumping you do whip out your shovel and can stab below you, but can cancel out of it with Attack again. You can choose what button do what and I had A as Jump  B as Attack and Up+B do Special. Its got really nice music and the graphics are better than NES could do but fake it well. It controls quite well and has a good 80s feel. The story is clean and innocent but still cool and its told well with text boxes and sprites. It can be kinda tough to see some things on my 2DS but its not impossible. You get gold by finding Treasure and can use it for upgrades like Meal Tickets to boost Life or Magic Bar Extenders and if you look around you can find hidden moves and abilities that can make the game easier. You get unlimited tries and each time you fall, you return to a checkpoint and lose some gold, but can get it back if you return to where you fell, but die again and its gone. If you bust the Checkpoint you get treasure but can't use that point. It autosaves often and you can bust walls to find hidden areas. I loved it and this is what gaming SHOULD be like instead of devolved 3D and trying to advance further off the cliff. To quote Beast Machine: The Seeds of the future Lie Buried in the Past.

Just beat Dead Or Alive Dimensions on 3DS. Its a 2.5D Fighting Game that's kinda 3D with going into the fore and back ground but still kinda being 2D. You got an Arcade Mode to Free Play by fighting through a few rounds as any character you have available and can unlock more. Also is a Chronicle Mode where you have a lot of cut scenes with graphics that vary from the 00s Final Fantasy Movie to DeviantArt style CG you'd expect to see them being expanded or de aged or race changed or devolved. The music is good and seems kinda late 90s/00s and it controls pretty well. You got a button for Block, Throw, Punch and Kick and the L and R buttons do stuff but I never really used em. In Chronicle Mode you don't choose who you play as but it has a long story of various chicks and a few dudes whining about things and having reasons to fight You can beat foes out of the ring and they take fall damage then you jump down ands fight more. Its usually 1 round and is over in under a minute. Its part of the Ninja Gaiden series as Ryu Hayabusa is in it so its kinda Ninja Gaiden: Gaiden (Side story ). I liked it and my fave to use is Tina cuz she's a Texas and is strong. Overall its pretty good and has infinite tries and lets you remap the buttons. Glad I played this. Oh and the voices in the US Version are the Naruto/Robotech/Digimon cast. Also I didn't know Ryu Hayabusa had Ki attacks and all these Ninja Chicks reminds me of La Blue Girl. Ayame or w/e is kinda whiny and Helena I'm not fond of and not only cuz she's french. Also there's Tengu in here which I wasn't expecting  and there's not much Jumping on command, but usually only for an move like moving the D Pad and Kick. The D Pad can be used for this but I didn't try the A Stick as I prefer D Pads.

Just beat Bomb Jack on my 108 GameBoy Games in 1 Multicart. Its an arcade style game where you play as this Masked HERO with a Cape who collects these Looney Toons Bombs in 60 levels of pretty much the same thing. A is Jump but A Again makes you fall, but B makes you move faster in air. Its hard to get a feel for it and takes a while to get used to as it goes against your instincts. If you collect the ones with a burning fuse, it is worth more points and there's Power Ups pf B for Bonus points, P for Polymorphing enemies into Points Collectables and E for Extra Guy. It gets tougher as it goes on and you go from 3 to 4 enemies and they chase you more. The worst guys are the Screwheads that follow you and the Birds are pretty bad but not as  much as the Screwheads. There's Skeletons that walk around but if they hit ground they Level Up like a Pawn in Chess and become something else. There's 2 Continues and then its back to the title screen but each level can be beat in under a minute. Touching any enemy is a 1 hit kill but you can wiggle around in the air.  You can turn off music and change speed and difficulty. Biting it makes the level restart but all thing collected stay gone, but if you use a Continue, the level restarts full. Good music and nice 8 bit graphics and other than jumping, it plays well. Got kinda irritating but after a while I got good at it. Glad I did this but I'm probably not gonna play it again. Its by Bit Managers who did Asterix & Obelix: Bash Them All! And Infogrames.

Just beat Asterix & Obelix on GBA as part of the Astérix & Obélix : Paf ! Them All! collection. Its a Snes game brought over to GBA like with Breath Of Fire where you play as nimble blonde Asterix orn Lumbering Behemoth Obelix who hits harder but jumps worst and plays heavier. A is Jump, B is Punch and holding it charges up a super punch. L or R or maybe Select lets you move faster, even on Ladders and Jump further. You get a few guys and can continue by putting in a password you get at the start of each of the 10 areas. You can get 1Ups, Potions that make you invincible, Food for life, coins that you get 100 and its a free guy, and Stars that do something I don't know of. It takes some getting used to and sometimes I fell through platforms I know I made it to. Jumping down with Down and A takes a bit as you gotta wait to crouch then do it. Its got nice colors and animates well and looks like that Soviet Treasure Island thing in movement and style, kinda Europeanish. Some doors you gotta Super Punch to open and thers blocks to punch open like Mario that have goodies inside. Nice music and the game plays in English or a half dozen languages and after you get used to it, its not bad. The Password is 4 images of Asterix Characters that look different so you don't gotta know em and there's not really any bosses, but there are games. 1 is Rugby where failing costs a life so i inch forward and jump the guys after you. The other is the Olympics and you gotta hammer B to run and A to jump or throw the Javelin, but only need to get 1st in 2 of em. The final foe is a Big Black Bull you gotta hammer B to run from and A to Jump over a wall and do it right as the full thing is onscreen or it horns you. Not a bad game and its by Bit Managers and Infogrames.