Soylent Green Review

note; my typings kinda cr-ppish

soylent green

this is my revbiew for soylebnt grert

I saw it b4 in da 90s

I remember something about strawberries being over 100$$

btw

the twist ending is already known by everyone in this centuiry

the 90s too

its become part of our Protoculture

plus all the simpsons jokes

its like the ending to planet of the apes

ooh

its set in 2022

that's like in the mega MAn years

maybe yugioh 5ds

yugioh is the 90s

gx is mid 2000s

and 5ds is at least 20 years after that

since 20 years prior to the stoery; synchros are out

andin the 10th anniversary movir(bonds beyond time) jaden don't know about synchroes

but he was cr-ppy at learning cards

also trdude (ushio) from the 90s yugioh is a cop there

but he'd be around his 40s

ooh

Richard Fleisher directed it

hes gooooooood

we start with a montage of images iof civilization

btw; its widescreen

gross

its set in new York]

ust like planet of da apes

they mention on the radio that sotylent red ansd yellow exist

but soylent green is new and made of plankton

but we already know the trurth

Charlton heston and his room mate are cops talkin about cases

his roommate complasins how food is cr-ppy compared to older food

but heston is too young to recall the good days

like me talking about the sega genesis to candy a55 teens (who need a beat down)

Charlton heston goes out and its all overcrowded

I blame all the illegal immigration

also; this place s a smelly dump and a dirty slum

just like Detroit and Chicago after the liberals got it

maybe we otta just nu ke it and start over?

this chick gets beef from a food place and they make it seem like a big deal

beef s-cked

unless its a burger or meatload

later this jean jacket guy w/o a shirt comes to meet the chick's bf

he seems mental

he busts the bf's head with a crowbar

the guy just accepts his end

a real warrior would fight to the end

at least the mongols did

Charlton heston comes in and investigates

he also takes a bottle of booze

he as the witness write a statement and enjoys using soap/water

how odd, I avoid it

he also jacks some of the guys items

the gf sez she thinks he wanted to get iced

he grills the gf but shes not the killer

then the sanitation guys come in

they take his bodand say hes taken to a waste disposal plant

she sez her gramma got a ceremony

Charlton heston returns home and has a bag of loot he swiped

he took fruit, soap, booze, books and beef

his roommate gets bummed out over how things have sunk so low

later cherlton heston talks to his big buff black guy cop superior

all these 70s movies have a rough cop working for a big buff black guy

at least this guy isn't loud and mad

Charlton heston sez something not right about this hit

I just realized that this movie is a few years before demolition man

that was a good sci fi action film

outside; the masses of people are gathered for food and drink leke its the 3rd world

but america was 1st world

well... it used to be...

also the city has a poisoned sour air look

a bit like; the crow city of angels

he goes up in to a building looking for some chick

he talks to a black woman wearing only a robe

this really is a 70s film

shes nervous about something but hes not finding it

I think she wants to b0ne him

he leaves w/o b0ning and has food with his roommate

carlton heston hasn't eaten like this ever

they then read about the guy who got iced

he knew the guy who is governer

he had stuff with soylent, the company that has food supply for half the world

b4 he leaves he has his roommate taste a spoon he swiped from the black lady

its strawberrys

which go for 150$ per jar

I blame the unions

he later calls his black guy boss amd the boss tells a guy working for the governer\

he goes to a place full of chix and talks to the gf from b4

he sucks their cigs and drinks their ice water

he sez if he had the money he'd smoke 2-3 cigs a day

my7 yugioh buddy goes through that in a few hours(1-2 maybe)

once I asked another smoker yugioh homie if he can drain a cig in 1 drag

he said he cant, but knows a guy who can

Charlton heston talks to the gf as they get naked to b0ne

she sez her bf went to church

aftyer they b0ne, a guy comes in and beats u the chicks in the room

Charlton heston sticks up for em

the gf suggests Charlton heston spending the night but he's already b0ned her

hes tempted by the idea of a hot bath with reakl hot water

he stays and they have a hot bath togerther

later charlrton heston stops by a church andtalks to a priest about the guy who bit it

he seems kinda traumatized and spaced out

he heart the guy who bit it tell him a secret that broke his brain

back at the station the superior wants him to close the case

the elites want it

charton wont and storms out

this guiy in shades tells his boss about charlrton seeing the priest

later a guy caps the priest

the black guy always gets it in these films

at the public rations area, the people are malcontent and Charlton hestom is on riot patrol

they run out of soylent green and the people have a riot

they start b0ning the cops

then the scoops come in

trunks and scoopers that capture people

shouldn't it tear em apart?

the priest killer takes a shot at heston but hits a human in front of him

heston fights him but the guy gets crushed under a scoop

heston goes to this guy's place and brats a guy up

its the black lady's place

he sez he wont hit a cop but then hits him

Charlton kicks him in the crotch so hard he's off his feet

he sez the guy can get life in a soylent plant for that

ten sez if hes followed again hes gonna kill em both

he goes to see the gf and sez the soylebt plants are guarded

his roommate talks to some people and finds the guy who got iced knew a dark secret and got iced 4 it

the new tenant comes by for the room of the guy who bit it and he wants the gf

the roommate goes to a less crowded place and Charlton heston finds a note from him saying hes "going home"

Charlton rushes over and the roommate is in a room with his fave color

then this really widescreen display shows nature

didn't the simpsons do this?

heston makes the guy working there open the door or he'd kill him

I assume he;'d b0ne him dead

heston just watches the nature but later talks

they admit they love eachother in a non queer way

hestyon is overcome with the stuff on screen

he tells Charlton something the audience cant hear then bites it

they seem to be microwaving him

its a suicide place

just like how in the soviet replublic of Canada they allowed assisted suicide

so I guess this movie was accurate

but when a buncha gay guys or poor people suicide, they call it a "crisis"

I assume its like how eating dog is seen as bad but pig or octopus (which are vastly smarter) is ok

eating animals is good but eating animals is bad

personally I dislike dogs

hope they go extinct

I've never eaten octopus

but I hear they are smarter than apes

I had squid 2x though

fried

it was ok

kinda chewy

but good

so the roommates corpse is taken to a place and heston sneaks a rode on a truck rooftop

in the factory he finds the bodies are made into solyent green

but a guard catchs him

he kills the guard (who probablty had a fam and friends)and bolts

he calls his work but its busy

so he calls his gf

but the call gets to his boss

they almost really talk but a gunfight breaks out wth guys chasing him

he runs but gets capped

the guy chasing him follows him into a church

its full of people

they fight and heston shanks him with a big a55 knife

his boss comes in and heston tells em hes got proof

he then sez he's seen it (which is not proof) and that since the oceans dying that slylent green is made of people

they take him out an the credits roll ito the images the roommate saw

ooh

chuck Connors was in it

and jack baur did casting

I assume its another one

for soylent green 2 I'd like for the company to have gone to trial over using people parts and with their expensive lawyers, beat the charges and now its legal to use human as food. also its done as a way of bringing back nature and they get enough votes passed and judges elected to give animals superior rights to humans so they can "restore the urth". people who have peaceful protests are rounded up under "hate speech" charges and fed to animals while still alive. the people cant take it anymore and rebolt and have a 1776 again to overthrow the animal supremacists and their plans to interbreed humans and animals to create a superior race of animal people.

The Pirate Review

note; my hands have a speech impediment
The Pirate
this my review on the pirate(the judy garland one)
ive never seen this movie b4 so this is a new experiance
ooh its fullscreen
and has good color
its got a good start
make up by jack dawn too
it starts with a chick reading a book on pirates
it has an idealist view on them
in real life they were outlaws or w/e
the chick is gay for this pitate
then the chick's mom comes in  and sez she got her a husband
don pedro
on a history show on annie Oakley i mis-saw an add for; don jeronimo as ron jeremy
I think this place is mexico or spain
later this fat guy with a moustache comes in and I think its don pedro
it is
also he looks a bit like ron Jeremy too
he meets the chick and is romantic with her
they mention paris and the chick goes gushy over it
but don pedro sez home is the best
i agree
im not big on travel
later the chick is looking at a ring don pedro gave her and she wants to see the carebiean
she thinks its romance and adventure
what about disease and crime and animals?
later this guy announces people in this entertainment thing
hes just advertizing
he mentions dogs that think like men
I assume he means furrys
since dogs cant be human
while we get to know gene Kelly, he sings a song about girls he likes
he seems a bit like joey jeremiah from degrassi jr high
charismatic and slick but nice
he keeps calling all the girls "nina" but pronounces it "ninya"
he also does some good acrobatics by climbing around the set
I miss the 80s/90s playgrounds they had made of wood/metal/plastic
they were fun and you could do that kind of stuff on em
now they tore em down 15 years ago and the newe ones s-ck
gene Kelly's dancing is good
almost fred Astaire good
after his dance, the chick comes in and she goes off on her own to see the sea
nowadays some drugged up thugs might b0ne her dead
she looks at the sea and doesn't notice gene Kelly next to her
they talk and he hits on her
she defends the don pedro when he pokes fun at him
he claims he loves her(they just met!!) and he sez in america(and englind) the lady's choose their own husbands
what year is this??
she sez its silly and later leaves
wtf
his name is; serafin
like; Seraphim?? the Highest rank of Angels?
at night the entertainers perfiorm and the chick goes after em
gene Kelly does a hypnosis trick
but his minion sez the last guy didn't wake up
I assume hes a vegetable
u microwaved his mind!!
you cut out his brain you baboon!!
he claims he wants a pure woman and takes the chick
this sounds like sailor moon
he mind controls her and sez he wants to release her spirit
hes gonna suck out her soul!!
this is black majik!!
he tries to make her love him
this is like something the sailor scouts or love angels would fight
she sez she loves the pirtate she read about
and she has lusty desires underneath her innocent outside
this is turning into la blue girl!
she sings a song about the pirate
the pirates name is; macoco
or; mack the black
they'd probably censor that nowadays
like natty bumpo turned to nathianel boone in the 90s last of the mohicans
im not sure but I think mack the black is into b0ning a lot of women
maybe for money
if he were around now he'd get the aids
that's how it spread in the 70s
b0ning
and blood
but mostly b0ning
maybe that's why virgins survive horror movies?
its a ref to aids
after the song she cant wake up
so he makes out with her
then she gets her soul back and sees everyone cheering for her as shes making out
I assume they b0ned in the real version
she runs home and wants to leave the place
later shes getting married
her mom sez she can make anything come true by wishing for it
mayvbe she can create her imaginarty boyfriend mack the black?
imaghinary boyfriend?
sounds like yuguioh
how the miniskirt chick was in love with the other yugi
then the entertainers come over and the chick freaks out
she comes out to her mom about her singing in public
and maybe b0ning
her mom sez to lock the door
outside geen Kelly flirts with her and shes freakin out
so he tightrope walks across a wire to her
she tries to cut it but it dont work
he comes in and shes freakin out
he keeps trying to win her over
nowadays we'd see that as some kind of mo les tation
but here its funny
like pepe le pew
then don pedro comes in and has a whip
and hes mayor of tpwn
she complains about living like a hobo in a tent with people who act
but pirates have it worse
don pedro comes in and goes berserk at him
but the gene Kelly recognizes the don perdro as macoco
I thought he didn't exist
mack pedro almost iced the gene Kelly burt he survived
also mack the black got fat
he blackmails mack the black pedro into letting his entertainers perform
he comes down and sez to the chick that he's macoco and the real macoco pedro is at his mercy
man gene Kelly is a real horses A55 to don pedro
he calls off the pedro dons marriage and trys to steal the chick from him
then goes into town claiming to be macoco and lies about the town being surrounded by his savage men
then he fights some guys
the chick was watching btw
she has a fantasy of him in short shorts and a sleeveless open chest top dancing around and her in a bunny outfit as he fights guys
this is turning into voltage fighter gowcaizer
maybe variable geo
theres a lot fire and red
its like going to h-ll
maybe these are flashbacks from another life?>
like with zor prime in Robotech
later gene Kelly threatens to torch the place if they don't bring him the chick
is he the bad guy or something?
don pedro knows gene kelly is full of sh-t and goes off to get reinforcements
the people knowe of the power the real macoco has and are freaked out
but just by admitting he's macoco, the cops can bust his a55
she reluctantly goes out to marry the gene kelly
this fruity guy tells the chick that she told everyone that she wished macoco would carry her away in the show
the gene Kelly comes in and she comes on to him
shes got a b0nar for him
he tries to tell the truth but she reveals she only loves him for being macoco
also she hates actors
the Robotech aND yugioh actors were pretty cool
dbz actors too
well... the ocean dub actors anyway
she then starts trashing the place
I think he told her hes not macoco
I wasn't paying attention
she also whips his a55 with a sword
I assume in the real version she jammed it up there
then hes KO'ed and she gets all remorseful
she sings about how good he is
man, women flip-flop more than a crooked politician!
later the real black mack has the cops and they find a treasure chest full of stuff he stole
the cops bust in and catch him
they're gonna b0ne him dead!
the head cop flirts with the gene Kelly(hes brittish)
they bring out gene kekklys prop box and its full of jewelry
they also dont buy his story about being an actor
now he's gonna get strung up!
but we know they wont wack gene Kelly in a gene kelly movie
the chick sez that since the town said they owed her they should not have gene Kelly drawn and quartered
she then notices the ring the don pedro gave her matches the treasure in the chest
gene Kelly sucks up to the brit and sez he wants his last request to be to perform for him
the don pedro sez to hang thwe gene kellie but the brit falls for gene kellys charms
he's so smug and cocky
he sings the song "be a clown" which is just like "make em laff" from singin in da rain
its really entertaining and fun
esp these 3 black guys dance number
its sorta like kung fu
ooh, the coffee grinder!
I learned that break dancing move from the Christians kids show "TQ" (Truth Quake)
didn't know they had it in the pirate era
although I kinda felt "make em laff" was more impressive
but that was grand
then the gean kellie hypnotizes the don pederro
hope he don't b0ne him
but the chicks mom smashes his mind wipe item
then the chick is hypnotized again
they say if they wake her it might kill her
don pederrp tries to stop his black arts but the brit wants to see how it goes
she gushes over how bada55 macoco is and how cr-ppy don pedro is
wait
isn't macoco some serial killer?
and shes lusting after him?!
that's kinda f'd up
like james Cameron's obsession with the titanic; a disaster that killed hundreds of innocents
I can see an alternate reality james Cameron where hes an aquaman villain who sinks boats to fulfill his titanic fetish
then pedro dion comes out about hoe hes the real macoco
the circus rushes and gang b0nes him and it cuts to gene Kelly having a new show; with the chick singin "be a clown"
its not as good as with the black guys
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
but what happened to macoco?
either he was lunched or in prison
or maybe he got off easy?
maybe they didn't believe his story cuz hes a fata55?
that was pretty good although the main character is kind of an a55
I was kinda rooting for don pedro
for the pirate 2 I'd like for the real macoco to have been found not guilty as no one believe a fata55 like him could be the killer of the seas. since his release he was training and turned that chub into beef and is now big and buff liker hulk Hogan. he resumes his pirating and hunts for the chick and gene Kelly so she will love him again. also he fights the brits and tries to free people oppressed by em

Cat People Review

note; theres typoes. I warned ya

cat people

this is my revjiew on cat people

with a title like that I assume its about furrys

but this is from the 40s

I had an idea for a film

30s furrys!

guys in the 30s who are becoming aware of their furry feelings due to mickey mouse and felix the cat.

after experimenting, they move on to b0ning farm animals.

based on actual events.

ooh

this is RKO

they did good stuff

after a quote from some guy (just like king kong) we get a chivk at a zoo or circus or w/e

a guy flirts with her as she draws something

its a puma with a sword through it

pretty bada55

they go to her place and she sez hes her 1st friend in america

I didn't notice she was a foreigner

at night (I assume after they b0ned a lot) they hear lions at da zoo nearby

she likes it and the dark

maybe shes the cat people

she has a statue of king jon of serbia

I assume shes a serb

but shes so nice!

king jon drove out the bad guys who enslaved her people but in her village were demon worshipers who jonny iced

but some escaped and do something

reminds me of demonlord dante

I personally have nothing against serbs

although they did start ww1

that malcontent iced archduke Ferdinand of Austria and his woman

then the serbs made a statue in his honor

imagine how up the but people would get if some confederate state made a statue in honor of jophn wilkes bootjh?

although the soviet republic of Canada loves that malcontent loius riel

so in the office this worker brings a cat and the serb lady don't synchro with it

cats hate her

that's racist

dogs seem to hate me

I walk within 40 feet and they go mental

also i think they can sense ki

once I was standing in a room w/ a dog and had a negative thought(but didn't move or anything) and it started yip[ping at me

at a pet shiop the birds go mental when the serb comes in

at home the guy sez to the serb most couples have kissed by now

I assume that's them covering to make us think they didn't b0ne

like in la blue girl they changed dialogue to say mikos in college insrtead of high school to make us think shes 18

serb sez shes not happy and has issues or something and the guy comforts her

at some dinner this European sez something European to her and leaves

this freaks her out

later shes unhappy cuz she wants to be his wife but as issues

women are often confusing

or irrational

they get emotionally mental for no reason

then you gotta spend like an hour comforting their fat a55

its annoying

but with it if you have a kind woman

not a bossy bratty one who bullys you

those need to get out

later shes trying to grab this bird in a cage and it bites it

so she picks it up and puts it in a b0x

later she tells the guy her bird died of fright when she tried to grab it

I say; use ur power for good!

go fight animals to save humans!

like in the woods from bears or cougars

or protect people from feral dogs!

God gave you a gift! use it for good!

later at a shrink shes hypnotized and sez shes afraid of cats

its revealed that in her village are people who turn into cats

and if they kiss a guy they love they gotta ice hi9s a55

and her mom was called a witch/cat woman(not the batman chick)

when he gets home she sees a wo man who knows her issues and was da 1 who recommended the dr

the serb is offended he shared her secret

but the guy sez he trusts her

later the guy sez he's never been unhappy b4 and now its weird

like in saint seiya how lizard misty never got hit b4

or how in "God told me to" the hermaphrodite was never hurt b4

he talks wirth the wo man who knows the serbs issues and they get comfort

at the zoo the serb picks up the key from the lock to the panther cage and returns it to the zoo guy

the shrink sez people secretly wanna do evil and she could've used the panther to do it

that's pretty dark

at night the guy trys to get her to see the shrink again but she gets mad hearing he talked with the wo man who knows her issues

he goes ourt to a diner and gets some food

te wo man who knows her issues comes by and the serb seez em together

later shes walking home alone at night and hersno one on the street

then a bus comes and hisses like a cat

also a guy seez big cat prints on the ground in mud

later the serb comes home and takes a bath

we see her back but no b00bz

good

she dreams of cats and king jon and a key and hearing the shrinks words

the next day she takes the key from the zoo

later she goes swimming and theres cats around

she hears big cat noises and jumps in da pool

but theres no cat in sight

then the serb come in and turns on da light

i thought it was da serb in da pool

its the wo man who knows her issues

when the wo man gets outta da pool her robe is sliced up

later she talks to the shrink about cat people

she fears rthe serb is turning into a cat and trying to ice her for her loving the serbs husband

she urges the dr to carry a heater

hes got one cuz hes a real american

he later talks to the serb and thinks shes playing a game

they always think if you dont fit in that ur faking it

real people have real fears, even if what they fear isnt real

then the guy sez he loves the wo man and wants a divorce

have they b0ned?

she tells him to go

wtf

the shrink sez u cant divore an insane person

then dont that mean yu cant marry one?

and who's to say who's insane?

arent qwe all a bit off?

im not crazy

just a bit eccentric

like tim burton or johnny depp or those caligari guys

at night rthey wait for the serb but shes not arrived

the shrink goes out

as the guy and his wo man are alone in the dark but not b0ning they get a call

but no ones there

then a panther comes in

theres 2 humans and 1 cat

if they play smart they can won

he rebukes her with the Lord and a cross and it disappears

also they say its the serb

as they leave they smell the serbs perfume

then the shrink is visited by the serb and kisses her

she becomes a cat offscreen and shreads him

if you go for its throat you can kill it

the panther that is

the serb gets away and the guy and his wo man see the body

also ther dr had a sword/cane

pretty bada55

the serb opens the panther cageand it fears herbut then jumps oyt and grazes her

oh and shes got thwe broken piece of swiord/cane in her

the guy and his wo man find her and say "she never lied to us"

the end

i liked this

good mood

if made today it would have more gore/swearing/b0ning/t-ts/cgi

for cat people 2 I'd like it to be about the Slovenian legend about people with dog heads (my grampa told me of it years ago) and its revealed their descendants are furrys today. (as for how its CAT people and about DOGS? Troll 2 was about goblins so its ok)

West Side Story Review

note; typoes and this is a long a55 review cuz its a liong a55 movie

West side story

this is my review on west side story

I hear it won Oscars

they often give it to those undeserving

can you belive michael keaton lost he oscar to that brit cripple?

all he did was sit in a chair for 3 hours!

the oscars always reward people being disabled!

i otta act brain damaged and film it and send it to the oscars!

just drooling and j-rkin off!

so the film starts with a single color with black outlines to show newe york

that's where they recorded yugioh and pokemon and urotsukidoji

now the colors are changing

its pink

back in the 80s, hot pink was a cool color

now if you wear pink people think your queer

but in the 80s all the guys wore it

picture this; a guy with long blonde 80s hair, leather boots w/ knee plates, a pink pleather jacket w/ shoulder plate armor, a neon pink speedo, and no shirt.

back in the 80s it was rad to da X homeboy

blicketee black

mondo cool

wiggle wiggle

sometimes im just sitting at home in my speedo briefs and my leather jacket

so the color turns to red then blue then it becomes a photo of ney ork

we get a klot of looks at these big buildings

I actually went to new yorke once

I wanted to get the pokemon emerald codes from the pokemon center

but they were already on to diamond/pearl

btw this film is really widescreen

half the screen is black bars

so these new yero toughs are snapping their fingers in unison and going around being tough

but when they play bacsket ball they prance around all prissy

in the streets they prance too

until they meet a foreinge looking guy and they try intimidatijng him

I gotta say theres good color in here

the foreign looking guy gets some homies and they prance prissy too

they confront the 1srt gang(the jets) but they are scared off by reinforecements

then they plan b ball but more of the other gang confronts em

but they leave

then an escalation between 2 guys sucks other in and they have a really prissy fight

its like zoolander; they're breakdance fighting

the fight spreads all over the slum they live in

the other gang is called the sharks

funny cuz in yugioh zexal manga, Yuma's catch phrase is "jetting" and his rival is named "shark"

in the b ball court 1 guy is being b0ned dead and reinforcements arrive

then the cops break up the fight and the jets act innocent and smarta55ish

so do the sharks

the cop is sick of the teens cr-p and keeps threatening to bust some heads

I hope he cant take it anymore and starts busting these punks with a hammer!

you wont ruin MY town!! boom!

after he leaves the jets are malcontent and disgruntled over being told what to do

also is a girl with gender issues who wants to join the gang

the jet gang leader wants 1 last all or nothing fight over control of the turf

1 sensitive guy called baby john is nervous about them using blades or guns

1 guy wants to bring back this ex jet who was a founder called tony

like tony salerno; the voice of several yugioh charcters and behind the scenes guy for urotrukidoji

the teens then sing their delusions of grandur about how being a jet makes you awesome somehow

if this were made today it would have more profanity and maybe b0ning

the gang leader trys to seduce tony back into the gang life but he's \mellowed out and isn't a whiny teen anymore

he's got a job and is happy in life

the gang leader guilts him into going to a dance

also is a scene where tony pins down the gang leader and makes him say uncle

I assume they were b0ning in the real version

he sings about future hope or w/e

then we see some porto rican wo men working on a dress and the younger one wants a low neckline

I recall one pbs show was malcontent over portu rians in here not being played by real ones

no one went up the butt over anna Karenina being played by a French irushwoman or dr zhivago played by an ehygipan

at least they have russuisns in film

Slovenia isn't even mentioned in anything(except 1 3 stooges joke)

then the protorickans go to a dance and so do the jets

is this movie about a race war?

theres a weird dance like in 7 brides for 7 brothers

is this where Saturday night fever came from?

a lot of these moves are sorta kung fu

in the dance this chick and the gang leader notice eachother and things fade out around em

I assume they entered a pocket dimension

they fall in love just like that

at least in Robotech there was a build up with scott Bernard and ariel or rand and rook or rick and lisa

although they pretty much did this for max and Miriya or bowie and musica

they kiss and fade out of the pocket dimension and the shark leader is p-ssed at the jjet leader for kissing his sister

they then talk about having a meeting for a battle later

also the proto rican says racial things about the jet's gangs people

wait

its not the gang leader in love with the chick

its tony

tony then walks home singing about his new gf(maria)

I keep thinking he should be singing; how do you solve a problem like maria

at home maria and the shark leader argue about him not letting her be free in america

just like when wiomen from other countries come over but still dress and act like the slaves they were in their home lands

the shark leader says racial things against poles

the other people in his fam/gang agree

he also says about a gurl; she's given up protu riko and is queer for uncle sam

this is turning into a p0rn0

they all then sing about america with thick accents

the woman sing with hope and the guys sing negative

im surprised no one wants this film censored foer being "racist"

if this were made nowadays there would be a lot of self hating white teens on tumbler siding with the foreigners

after the dance the shark leader talks with his gf about b0ning her after the meeting with the jets

I notice that if this were like in real life, the sharks would be speaking protutrickan with eachother and English with the americans

but then they'd need subtitles and its easier to dub it into english

then tony meets maria on the fire escape

they argue over if they belong together cuz they are different races

in Robotech; Roy Fokker (a german ancentry man) and Claudia Grant(an openly black woman) are in love in 2009 and no one treats it like its an issue

but Robotech was made and aired in the 80s

the interspecies romance has come issue, but that's mainly cuz the humans and aliens are at war

later the jets are talking and the gender issues gurl sez shes never getting married

she also beats a guy up

I think shes got xxy chromosomes

so she may eb a hermaphrodite

the cop from b4 confronts em but thwey act all smarta55ish

after the cop leaves they sing about how their problems are not their fault cuz their lives s-cked

also it mentions drugs, beatings, gender issues, hormone issues and mental illness

this would get more screen time if made today

they go into the store tony works at but tony wasn't seen tonight

they chase the owner out and talk with the sharks

they say some racial things and blame eachother

tony comes in and they escalate weapons choices until tony sez only fists

the cop comes in and gets the sharks out

also I just realized the whole "americans are perfect and only we suffer" is like how people now think only "unprivileged" people have issues and need help

the cop trys to get into on the fight to stop it but the teens are d-cks

he tells em off and insults em

good!

those punks think they're so big

they need a beatdown

after a brief intermission, maria songs "I feel pretty"

it was also used in jack nicholson/adam sandler's movie; anger management

after the song, tony sees maria and the shark leaders gf allows it

tony sez he made the fight a 1 on 1 fist fight (like street fighter/fatal fury/world heroes/voltage fighter gowcaiser) so its safe

maria wants him to stop it all together

they then talk about their parents and play make believe with clothes

they then have a fake wedding like with Rick and Minmei in Robotech

afterward everyone sings a song at the same time in different areas about different things

reminds me of nightmare b4 xmas

the gangs meet for the street fight and they don't really make contact

tony tries to break it up but it makes things worse

tony fights the shark head but doesn't attack

1 jet slugs out the shark head and they whip out switchblades

in a fight you gotta spam jump kicks

maybe ki blasts

but here thety just dance around

the jet leader almost gets the shark leader but tony stops him

then jet head gets shanked

so tony shanks shark head

then the cops are coming and everyone scatters like bust when you turn on the light

teen a55 punks

btw this is marias fault

she thinks she knows how to fight

dumba55

things would've been better w/o her screwin it all up

it would've been a clean fistfight

its like when ur mom sez "don't ride your bike w/o your feet on the pedals" wen she cant ride a bike

or she don't want you watching a horror movie cuz its got people run through meat grinders and getting deboned

its like how in England when those frooty bbc commies don't like something they ban it in all England

hear that moms?!

don't censor us!

or ur as bad as England!

so maria finds out her bf iced her bro

she goes mental on him but he explains and she forgives him

at night baby john is crying and traumatized from seeing those guys sliced apart

I bet in the real version instea of just getting shanked  they tugged the blade and sliced em open and their organs spilled out on the floor

the jets miss their head and are bummmmed out over it

after some disputes, they sing a song about being coooooool

in other words, hide your emotions

they're gonna build preassure and pop and go around b0ning people dead

later the shark head's gf walked in and finds tony b0ned maria

shes malcontent and says racial songs about "stick to your own kind"

as my dads a Slovenian and my moms from soviet Poland, you'd think I'd find this song offensive

but im not easily offended

nor will I go on a G haad against it for saying something I disagree with

unlike all those malcontents online

as an american I believe in freedom of speech

unlike tumbler

buncha candy a55 commies

maera sez she loves tony and then the cop comes by and questions her

at the store tony works the head is getting cash for tony to skip town and the jets are in it

the shark heads gf comes by but the jets treat her like they treat the rest of the porto Ricans

a but lighter actually

she wants to see tony but they toss her around a bit

I think in the real version theyre \b0ning her

afterward shes p-ssed at em and hates their whole race

she lies to them about a guy finding out about tony and maria and he capped her

the boss of the store tells tony maria bit it

he runs out wanting to go to h-ll to be with maria calling for the guy who capped maria to get him

in Canada assisted suicide is legal so legally he's doing nothing wrong

but Canada's kinda f'd up

he sees maria and ruins to her but gets capped by some thug

the gangs arrive and watch him go to h-ll

maria gets the gun and goes on a tirade about how they killed her butt buddy with hate and now she hates

then the cops show up

she tells em not to touch her butt buddys corpse

I assume she wants to b0ne it

some jets carry his corpse out and we het really well done credits on graffiti where you can easily see who was in it and the graffiti don't overpower it

the credits graffiti catches your attention

despite being kinda frooty this was a well done film

well made and with good color and music

too bad its widescreen

for west side story 2 I'd like for it to be set 20 years in the future in the distant futuristic year of 198X. the gang war has gotten worse and the whole city is a wasteland of violence and b0ning like in Urotsukidoji 3 4 and 5. the jets and sharks have new and more violent leaders and order attacks on anyone helping the other gang or not helping them. and the cops are at the limit from all this violence and b0ning. the new mayor of new York sez the cops have the right to do whatever they need to protect the peace, so they start using machine guns and flamethrowers on the gangs. the new mayor is officer krupke from the 1st movie with battlescars all over and spring blades built into his body. then in west side story 3, maria tries to return to the pocket dimension and reveals that she was behind the rise in gang violence to collect enough fallen souls to reopen the gate to see tony again. but instead it opens the gates of h=-ll and new York becomes infested with daemons who corrupt it. and only the high priests of new jersey can seal the h-llgate by sending new York back to h-ll.

Treasure Island Review

Note; its got bad spelling but you can figure ourt what I mean
Treasure Island
this is my review on treasislamnd(the 30s one)
I know the muppets did one but I never realluy saw any muppets movieas
but I recall the Alvin and the chipmunks version
they aolso did robocop
but w/o swearing/blood/gunz/nudescenes/gore//violence
but unlike the cr-ppy remajke, it was good
ooh
its directed by victer fleming
he dud grand things
ahh
walice beery
he was pretty mean
didn't he kill some people?
the film starts with someone having a birthday
theyre celebrating like normal people in the Castlevania days
this kid named jim is malcontent cuz a little girl sez he made a cake
he sez only girls make cakes
that's racist against men
I think hes a femminist
then theres a storm and they go inside
too bad they don't have a sega
I had a dream a bit ago where there was something and this tv exploded
I heard you shouldn't play video games iin a storm or lightning will hit the thing and the overload will blow up yo tv
im not sure how accurate it is
but my mom said her cousin in the 90s(born in the 80s) had it happen
its like the candyman legend
we all know someone who sez they know someone had it happen
then these pirates come in to the place and 1 tells jim a sea man with 1 leg is doing something
he then has rum
he seems drunk and slurs around loud and jolly
he also draws his sword when someone wants to go home
he mumbles on about killing people and maybe b0ning em
reminds me of when rob ford got drunk and talked about having a WWF death match with a guy
I'd kill him! I;'d poke his eyes out! i'll f him when he's dead!
and all these buttmo's wanted him arrested for ATTEMPTED MURDER!
I think attempted murder required an attempt to murder
not talking about a hulk Hogan rage in a cage death match
im surprised they didn't call him a necrophililiac
he did say he'd f him when he's dead
maybe those commies didn't wanna associate him with necromance?
maybe they have a lot of necro friends?
better necrophililia than anorexia
no one dies from b0ning a corpse
no one is hurt
I mean saying necriomance is harming the dead is like saying eating a burger is abusing the dead cow
necromance is natural
animals do it
only humans have necrophobia
so the drunk guy sings of 15 mean on a dead mans chest or w/e
sounds like necr-0 p0rn0
later some guys come looking for the druink but he's having withdrawl from lack of booze
that's awful
that's a sign of severe damage
he needs rehab
alcohol kills more people than necromance
he's worried about being found cuz someone wants his treasure that has
pieces of 8
pearls as big as ostrich eggs
and gold
the boy jim meets a blind guy who gives the drunk a note
the drunk freaks out and falls down the stairs
he bits it
jim goes to take the cash the drunk owes em friom is treasuere but his chest is full of junk
jim and mom find a package in it and run as pirates bust in
the blind guy sez he should've torn off the kids arms and popped his eyes
a dr arrives and the pirates scatter
the pacage jim took is a teasure map
one rich guy wants to go for it
the dr is afraid of 1 man but cant say it cuz the rich guy canrt keep a secret
they get a ship ready and a 1 legged guy joins em
hes called long john silver
that sounds like a p0rn0 name
and since he's missing a leg he might do amputee p0rn0
he's made the cook and has charisma
he also teaches jim
I suspect long john siolver is Asian as his name is long(dragon)
long takes jim to a bar and shows em his droogs
also long has a parrot
I hear andrew jacksons parrot used a lot of profanity
imagine going to a pet store and getting the birds to say awful things
ahh! poop fetish!
don't b0ne me!
I had aids the whole time!
so jim starts a growing friendship with long
kinda like me at the yugioh turny where the teens look up to me and my bada55 decks and skills
or syrus and tyranno looking up to jaden in yugioh gx
then they set sail
jim and long talk and jim wants long to live with him but long sez he cant
they also practice spitting and long gives jim advice
being European decended, I spit a lot too
my dads dad and my moms mom spat
long and jim see porposes off the side of the boat and say its a good sign
then someone bites it
they find an island
I went to whiz but I don't think I missed much
long talks with some guys about some stuff but I don't really get it
jim out the guys to the captain but feels bad about rattin on a homie
the guys with long are sent to the island but jim comes along
hes disgruntled and runs off to the jungle
on the island guy is killed offscrean but we hear it
I think they b0ned him dead
then another guy
jim finds a Christian living on the island looking like a caveman
hes been there 3 years and was left there by a boat
after the Christian give jim info jim don't get, the ship opens cannon fire on the island
I guy (I think the dr) puts up brittish flag on the island while those on the boaty raise a pirate flag
 im confused who is on what side
lomg wants to talk with the previous captain and they meet
long wants the map and is offering to let them live
sounds like a union thing
u give up what we want and we let you continue living
the captain disagrees and sez hes gonna cap him next time he sees him
why not just cap him now?
also I gotta say this is a lot better than that cr-ppy Disney film treasure planet
Robert Louis Stevenson would roll over in his grave if he saw that
pretty sure walt Disney would too
they've really gone downhill in shows
now its just live action cr-p and bad cgi
at least ducktales and datkwing duck had good animation and video games and music and acting
btw
star wars episode 7 is star wars GX
its a new generation of teens with the original series characters making cameos
so theres a gunfight and some people bite it
afterward jim gets a gun and goes out and boats to the ship
he gets a blade and starts cutting the anchor rope
this is like if spy kids wasn't cr-p
a kid doing something that save the adults
but no bad puns or culture refs
that's why 30s films set in the Castlevania days are timeless and modern ones s-ck
the next day jim wakes up on the boat and apparently everyones high or hung over
he tells a guy he's the new captain but the guy laffs it off
jim also takes down the pirate flag
the guy gets a knife and hides it and jim reveals his plan of going where the treasure is
he gets up and reveals hes not wounded and trys to shank jim
but the boat crashes
jim and the guy have a chase and they climb the ropes
in the 80s/90s there were playgrounds with ropes or metal chains you could climb on
then som,e dumb a55 teens were messing around and got hurt
so they tore down all the good playgrounds and replaced em with cr-ppy super-safe ones
a lot of kids got fat from not having a place to go for fun outside
its like banning all cars cuz some jacka55es drive drunk
jim caps the guy chasing him and when he returns, long sez they signed a treaty and the guys left
I assume hes just covering the fact he killed em and b0ned the bodies
like saying a guy who was just blown to bits with a ki blast is "sent to another dimension" in the edited dub of dbz
the kid don't buy it and sez he ruined their plans, outed em, and took their ship
long defends jim from the pirates and has he map
later long tells jim he wants to ice more of his own men cuz he don't wanna share the treasure
I was reading the yugioh wiki but I don't think I missed much
I think some of the guys killed by long are but jim didn't out longs plan cuz he promiced
nowadays he'd not care about a promice but back then people had honor
I keep my promices
the dr saves jim or something and in the Christians cave is the treasure
turns out long was a double agent and was working for the captain the whole time
but the captain wants him arrested and lynched
in da brig, long gathers some items and jim visits him
turns out the captain is gonna string him up b4 returning to england
long guilts jim into helping him by describing how lynchings go
jim legs him out and helps him escape
he tricks jim into getting him a heater and clubs the Christian on guard out(as he's the only man on there)
he sez the Christian guy is drunk anf got the head wound from falling
he sez hes gonna be honest to the jim but his bag of gold falls out
they say bye and long goes off in a boat.
the end
quite a grand film
I think my dad read me the classics illustrated comic but I don't remember it
for treasure island 2 I'd like for long john silver to return to his moms homeland of china and find that the bits are invading and selling drugs to children. even though he's half brittish, he knows the evil they can do and becomes a cop to bust brits dealing drugs. also he gets a cybernetic leg that keeps cr-pping out cuz its made in china and their products break easy(look at those cr-ppy phones apple makes with slave kids in the 3rd world for pennys a day between mo lest ation breaks in deadly conditions! I hope apple goes down HARD! esp since jobs went back to h-ll! they've ruined the worl;d with their cr-ppy phones that people get addicted to! and phones are NOT video game consols! you cant use a touch screen as a D-pad! it don't work!). also, jim was sent to prison and b0ned a lot for helping long escape and long goes on an adventure to save him in treasure island 3, which is also a prison movie with shower scenes and much b0ning.

The Kings Speech Review

note; pretty sure theres typoes in  here
the kings speech
this is my review on the kings speech
its set in the soviet republic of ing-lind during some war
a while ago I saw "the north star" with erich von Stroheim about the noble soviets fighting the evil germans
when talking about it with as descendent of a ww2 survivor, he said many soviets fought against the soviet union to free it from their evil(as it was the greater of the 2 evils in the war)
after the soviets won, the brits gathered the survivors and sent em back to the soviet lands to be tortured dead
maNY commited suicide rather than be b0ned dead by commies
im not supporting the axis though
I'm polish
but -40 is colder than -20
it starts with the deviant bbc delivering a speech from the brittish regent
its the 20s so its the 1st time a regent will be on air
he takes along time to start and is pretty cr-ppy at public speaking
suck it up candya55!!
u fail!
0/10!
gtfo!
wait
its the regents younger brother
later hes smoking and thinks its gonna fix his cr-ppy speaking
the fruity voice trainer has him use marbles in his mouth and he nearly swallows 1
in Pygmalion this was funny
here its depressing
also I gotta say theres a lot of ugly people here]
and the weather is pretty cr-ppy 2
no wonder theyre so evil
their country s-cked so much they wanna dominate the good ones
like america!
where people are free and not oppressed by the deviant regent
later Helena bonam carter (tim burtons baby-momma) finds a fruity dr who she wants to fix ghis cr-ppy talkin
he treats her like a normal person but when she spills its for her regent appointed duke husband he changes his tune
he then sez he needs "trust and total equality" to cure him
but in England no ones equal!
later the cr-ppy speaker is hangin with his fam
I believe 1 of em became the queen and had her son's wife and other women iced for defying her
but England blocks dog the bounty hunter from entering cuz a lifetime ago he capped a guy and paid his debt to society
way to make sense brtimo's!
later the fruity dr auditions for Richard the 3rd but they turn his a55 down
spoiler; lupin the 3rd was better!
later they regent fam comes in and this kid with a bad studder invites em in
the fruity dr seZ he could hardly talk b4
sounds severely disabled
the cr-ppy talker and the fruity dr talk and the cr-ppy talker can hardly communicate
wtf is his major malfunction?!
is he inbred or something?!
oh the cr-p[ppy talker is a prince
the fruity dr sez the prince shouldn't smoke but the prince sez his drs (who were knighted) say its good
just like global warming commies believing lies and getting support for their status
the prince don't like having to be on equal terms with a normal human
the prince also reveals he don't carry money
but Rasputin sez you should always have money in case you meet someone in need
they bet the prince can read from a book w/o studdering the dr wins a shilling
I assume that's a $ in real money
the fruity dr has the prince reada microphone while listening to headphones
after dat, dr prince leaves and sez its not 4 him
but he gets a recording of his voic\e
at Christmas the king gives a radio speech and whines about having to consort with the common man via radio
he also hates his 1st son for being in love with a woman with 2 ex husbands
this king is kind of a d--k
this is why Washington fought off the brits in his steam powered mech against the brits demon body transformations in 1776
the prince tries to speak but his dad busts his candy a55
later he listens to the recording and its real talk w/o studder
he and his woman return to the frooty dr and they talk
we then get a training montage of his weird trix to help him talk real
if this were an 80s movie it would have kickin 80s tunes instead of classical music
later the king is brain damaged from too much b w/e and is gotten to sign away something
I assume the new king has a b0ning ritual to b0ne him and gain his king powers and eating him with his parts while b0ning him
later the king bites it and probly goes straight to h-ll for his countless evils against the people
1 guy crys but the other brits don't show emotion
it comes from not having souls
later the frooty dr is talking shakespere to his son
prince comes in and sez his dad sed he had more guts than his brothers combined (but the dad said it when the prince was out)
his brother is now on the throne and the prince is glad he don't gotta have responsibilities or a real job now(not that being the regent is a real job)(you just b0ne anyone you want and leach off the tax dollars while wacking those you hate and oppressing the people)
also the prince was a cripple b4 and needed forest gump braces as a kid
wasnt forest gump inbred?
and the pronce had a cr-ppy childhood and it f'd him up
his brother had epilepsy and bit it at 13
the rents had him locked away like the man-woman in pet semetary
what a horrible family
its like how j fk's dad had his sister lobotomized for being slow
another horrible family
yet the people loved em
despite the assassinations and dark deeds
also the noble kaizer Wilhelm had worse
his arm was destroyed in a birth accident and he had long rehab to try to make him use his dead arm
also his cousins hated him for his grampa doing something years ago
too bad america didn't suppot zee kaizer
he might've prevented ww2 and communism
later the prionce is mental over his big bro being in love with someone and its not kingly
although king henry divorced a lot of chix
later in therapy with the fruity dr the king finds he don't studder when swearing
so he starts going tourettes and making sodomy references
sounds like me watching shakespere
later its said the new king has tio dump his woman he loves or give up leading england
I'd give up England for my gf
shes worth wayyyy more to me than a frooty country of weeners w/o many rights!
this better to serve in heaven than rule in h-ll
yes, I just compared England to h-ll
maybe England could become a free country with human rights and equality w/o being dominated by a deviant regent
nahhh! thay cant give up that
its like the soviets giving up corruption
or poles giving up potatoes and pickles
or america giving up freedom and guns
or Canada giving up inbreeding and interspecies romance
so the new king goes off to live with the woman he loves instead of ruling a buncha losers and the people they oppress
its like trading a secret rare gil garth for a common crush card virus
now the prince who cant talk for cr-p has to lead englind
the prince now king gives a speech and pretty much s-cked hard
when talking with his wife he breaks down cuz he knows hes a cr-ppy king
his woman comforts him
on a poster it sez "God save the king"
from what?
are there daemons after his candy a55?
might be a generational curse
for the sins of his ancestors
he talks with his forty dfr a he don't gotta be afraid of the thing he was at 5
as a kid I was intimidated by castle of illusion on sega and only played it on easy
over a decade later I decided to take it on
by this point I had beat adventuires of batman and robin, battletoads and maximum carnage
I crushed it like an insect under my heel
later I think the king finds the frooty dr has no official training and isn't a real dr
but he's got real experience and got training from helping ww1 vets
typical red tape that prevents good people from doing good
this is why big guv is bad
the prince goes mental and when the frooty dr sits on a chair that some dead guys sat on he gets mad
I bet in the real version he hulked out and bit off the dr's arm and b0ned his a55
he also sez he has a "divine right" to command and order people around being king
also he b--ches about king George 3 losing a war and it being bad
that was the war of independence you commie!!
INDEPENDENCE!!!
its like saying slavery ending is bad
but when the good guys win the bad guys gotta lose
later the prince and his fam are watching newsreel of his coronation and e's impressed by hitlers good speaking skills
then chaimberlin quits realizing he's basically given in the hitler by being politically correct and respecting es
now churchhills gona\na come in and kick a55
the only manly brit
so the new new king has to give a speech and has his frooty dr come over
they train but the king is still pretty cr-ppy
he has an existential crisis and starts freakin out and swearing and singing
he's gonna go mad and nuke the slums!!
after meeting with the Churchill(who sez he had a speech issue) he goes to give his speech
after much suspence he gives the speech and its got long pauses in it like he's reading it while typing it
the people are glad their regent gave a decent speech and an epilogue sez the king and the froty dr were friends forever.
the end
not bad a film
it shows the awfulness of the royalty and their elitist attitudes
for the king's speech 2 like it to be set after the war and the soviets and axis have wiped eachother out. with England now the ruler of the wastelands over Europe, they start plans to take down japan(who survived with a peace treaty with america to save em from the soviets) and they use their slave Canada to try to bring down america to keep em from helping em. its revealed that japan has an ancient secret in its land that has a power to destroy a continent. after america nukes Canada, they and japan take on England with the help of the kings brother who has been cured of his brittishness and wants to help defeat the country that is attempting to wipe out all life on earth except England (esp Ireland and Scotland since they openly hate em)

Captain Horatio Hornblower Review

note; I spell pretty cr-ppy and my comp s-cked

captain horatio hornblower

this is my review on captain horatio hornblower

the 50s one with Gregory peck

that title sounds like a p0rn0 btw

or maybe a bad marvel comics character

ooh

david o seklznik worked with this

hes grande

and this seems to be based on a book

just like riki-oh

and its directed by Raoul walsh

he blew out lincons brains in birth of a nation

in 1807 the noble hero napoleon was going to bring down the deviant brits but the brits had their minions from all over their stolen empire returning to fight the heroic napoleon

this seems to be about the ship of people forced to serve the English regent on one of the boats returning

they are running out of water and captain hornblower seems to be some kind of ubermenche who needs less water than humans

then they punish the men/slaVES for untold reasons

they tie em up and whip em

this is getting x rated

horbblower is having a guy whipped cuz his minion sed he'd whip him and didn't

this is to make the minion feel bad

hornblower is played by Gregory peck

I though his only villain role was in the boys from brazil

the dr sez they wont last long w/o going to land

but capn hh don't wanna go to land or be seen cuz it might ruin his mission

sacrifice men for a mission against their consent

I knewe the brits were evil

they have no wind so they use men/slaves to drag a boat

hh sez they'll be there in 2 days

at night the wind picks up and slaves pulling the boat

this reminds me of the movie mutany on the bounty

but from the pov of the deviant brits

the next day they find a fortress which HH mentioned b4

they find a place in Spaniard turf where a prince of spain has betrayed his people to side with the brits

this Mexican comes on and sez he's the high command and wants HH top come to to the fortress to meet the prince

hh gives the keys to his command thing to a guy and sez incase he's not back by midknight do something

the prince is arrogant and sees humans as below him

just like other nobility

he wants a lot of firearms and weapons and hh sez his boat is ordered to bust the fortress if he's not back in an hour

hh asks for an obscene amount of food and stuff in the amounts of tons

then a slave sez theres a Spanish warship with 60 guns coming

also the prince wants to take over america and tries to get HH to side with him

btw this film is in color and fullscreen

its grand

no black bars or high def

I hate that stuff

4;3 4ever

at night HH sez he wants some of his minions to share dinner with him

also they worship king george

the guy who america beat and earned its freedom from

latrits attack the Spaniard ship by sneaking on braod ansd swordfighting em

they capture em and chain em up

I assume they b0ned em too

HH sez he is giving he boat to the prince

the prince comes on and wants to kill the captured men

but HH already took care of em

he also sez his signal is 23 guns

HH sez the kings signal is 21 guns

why is the king greater than any human?

this seres makes anyone daring to challenge the regents supremacy as mad or evil

they come across another ship and find that the Spaniards have turned on napoleon and side with the brits

then they introduce Virginia mayo who was captured by the Spaniards and is sister to a duke

HH don't want her ion his boat but she just came from panama and theres aids there or something

they then set sail to fight the ship they just gave to the prince

hh's men tell mayo hh is a kind man but he yells for them to come to him

Gregory peck is pretty bad a55

like a not as evil megatron

hh tells mayo to stay below decks as his men haven't seen a wo man in 8 months

nowadays they'd go prison gay

then they fight the prince on his given boat

this is actuially pretty cool

he uses skill and planning to overcome a superior foe

like using mystical space typhoon on the equipped monster when thousand eyes restrict attacks your attack mode monster

running into a wall of swords

hh's boat takes a pounding though

theyre flag gets knocked off so they devote time and effort into setting up a new flag

in battle the surgeon bit it so the lady is treating the wounded

 the enemy ship blows apart in a fire ball and theres a long scene where a uy bites it in the wo mans arms

later hh seems to be falling in love with mayo but he finds shes gonna marry a man in England

also she was sick but recovered

after a montage of hh spending time with mayo, we find hh is married

but they still b0ne

he wants to end it but she is still into him

at land a fellow brit in the servitude to the regent bashes hh for giving away the Spaniard boat

I think its her bf

hh returns home to find his wo man bit it

and hes got a new son

his wo mans letter to him sez shes wished he spent more time with his fam instead of at work all the time

if it wernt for the regent he wouldntve been at sea for 15 years

he meets with and sez bye to mayo and goes off to sea again

they go to fight the heroic warrior napoleon to stop him from freeing Europe from the regent

they find a frenchie and hh threatens the info out of him that leads him to figure out that theres a cavalry attack by the superior napoleon

they go to a harbor and bust the masts of the ships napoleon was gonna use

they have a counter attack and shred the boat with cannonfire

hh gets his leg busted

hh decides to sink his boat to cause boating issues for napoleon

he busts the floor with a cannon

they swim to land but get captured

wait

it wasn't hh who busted his leg

its his minion

his men get to return to emnglandf and he and his minion are to be tried as pirates

but then the base is under attack

hh doesn't take a chance to escape cuz his men are there and he wont leave em

seems noble but what about his son?

but the carriage theyre on has its wheels fall off and hh shoots a frenchie

he carrys his wounded homie and they run off

they go through frenchie lands and try to get back to englind

they find some dutchies and take their clothes to get access to shipping areas

they are offended to see convict labor

but englind does it too!

worse even

and these convicts are brits

they kill the captain frenchie and they get the brit convicts to take down the French officers

they make it home and he's offered a chance to go somewhere but he goes to see son

then they see mayo and they ge ether cuz her man bit it

the ends

that was pretty good

despite being from englands side

for captain horatio hornblower 2 I'd like for it et 15 years later and napoleon is still at war with England. after mayo is eaten alive by order of the king for helping a wounded frenchie, hornblower and his son realize that they are serving a madman. they begin a resistance to take down the regents rule from within and start an uprising to free England from his rule. also Americas and japan have sided with napoleon and are wearing down the regent's forces. in an epic battle, hornblower opens fire on an English ship and turns the tide of battle for the heroic napoleon and friends. when the regent confronts him its revealed he was created with the dna of the manliest warriors in history and he black arts so hes the only manly Englishman. his son helps him in combat to slay the regent and he is named the prez and new ruler of englind (now called new Austria) to help people forget the evils of its past