Charge Of The Light Brigade Review

note; I play Yugioh but this isn't that card

charge of the light brigade

this is my review on charge of the light brigade(1936)

its got erol Flynn and Olivia de haviland

ooh Michael curtiz did this

it starts with a dedication to the officers who fought in 1856

then says this guy who wrote the poem was important

ooh Donald crisp is in this

then it sez its based on actual events but some parts are made up

then more text saying something about brittish lancers

not the brits!

they're the bad guys!!

errol Flynn leads men on a mission

a horse busts a leg and they ice it

nowadays they'd make it look bad for it

one guy nearly shoots a bird but errol Flynn sez its property of the ruler of the area

the highest rank men meet the ruler

he remembers errol Flynn

btw one guy is called Charles Barclay(not barkley)

so the ruler's dad got payment from brittish taxpayers

but now hes in charge and they need a new deal

one guy sez a falcon once busted a lambs back

get the myth busters

later they go on a leopard hunt and ride elephants

nowadays some animal supremacists would b--ch about it

animal rights?!

what next?!

plant rights?!

Donald crisp(I think) takes a shot but missed. so the ruler caps the leopard

an elephant he's riding goes nuts and drags the ruler

another leopard nearly gets him but errol Flynn saves him by capping the cat

hes thankful

later its 1854 in Calcutta

Olivia de vaviland talks to errol flynns characters brother

there a love triangle between them

after like 40 secs of talking she leaves

then some high rank guys talk about a mission

errol Flynn is sent on a mission to deliver horses to the black sea

that's racist

errol lfynn reunites with his bro

the high rank brits talk about how the ruler is doing stuff the czar is doing

then theres an 1800s party like in all these 30s-40s films

erroland Olivia dance and chat

they switches partners with bro and sez she hasn't gotta chance to tell  errol

the ruler arrives and hes got a Russian count with him

I like how these guys have those frilly shoulder things like Michael Jackson or zeches merquise did

olivoia and bro wanna tell errol about their love

but her dad comes in and tells him to gtfo fro being with his brothers fiancée

her dad is a colonel and threatens to misuse his army powers to make bro suffer

ad tries to get Olivia to go back to errol

but shes totally gay for his bro

she dances with errol and hes gay for her

later bro tells him hes and Olivia are in love

errol gets p-ssed at him

bro sez the f with the army and errol

later errol sez bye to Olivia

he sez bro loves her but hes still into her

then he travels by horse's a55 to Calcutta

they mention turkey wars with Russia and the English and French (being the bad guys) side with turkey

we done shots of them leading horses around the wasteland

then wasteland warriors attack and the take cover and fight back

errol has a plan to drag a thing by horses to raise dust to look like reinforcements are coming

also he knifes a guy and takes his clothes/scalp and wears em for some reason

the wasteland warriors book it and Flynn riding in warrior clothes gets shot at by his own guys

but it missed

after his mission he passes by his bro

both get sent on the same mission somewhere

errol don't believe Olivia loves bro

he arrives back at or from Calcutta and tells of being attacked

the higher rank guy sez there were orders not to fire on anyone

wtf England!?

an army not meant to fight?!

that's as dumb as unarmed cops!

errol Flynn teaches a kid a weird salute

he finds Olivia has returned home b4 he arrived

some people talk about which bro she loves with her'

bro comes by and talks with her about how she really loves him

shes gonna tell errol soon

they smooch and it fades to the next scene

did they b0ne?

later Charles barklay sez the ruler is preparing for an attack

errol sez to attack 1st as the ruler knows about England gonna war with Russia

I prefer the czar over the queen

although I'm polish and both countries hate my kind

but back then Russia was good

later they get orders to do maneuvers

I don't know what that means

errol sez his area is undefended with the guys on maneuvers

but they have orders and that's more important than common sense or logic or reason

they di maneuvers to "put up a display of force"

I've played nobunaga's ambition and find sending all your troops isn't good unless ur desperate or super confident

errol Flynn chats with Olivia about gayle olde englande

she almost tells him her thing but right that moment, an attack happens

we get a good shot of distance and men scrambling

oh and of the attacking force ridin in with many horses but dust behind em to show theres more than we see

like d w Griffith in birth of a nation

they battle and are overwhelmed

so they fall back to the barracks and pick e off as they climb the wall

looks like they're f'd

oh f theres women and children in there

they're gonna get f;d dead

they have plenty of bullets but little water

and its warm

well, it IS a wasteland

they need help from the forces sent out

at night the moon hides behind clouds

1 guy gives errol an item

errol goes out and hides on the ground between cloud moon shots

why don't they have a secret escape in it?

like a hidden tunnel or back way out?

he sneaks out but gets capped and falls in water

the next day the enemy troops are gone

but someone comes by

its guys from the ruler

they want a truce and errol

wait wtf

I thought errol bit it

oh it was Randel who bit it

ruler wants to spare errol cuz errol saved him

they chat and he wants em to surrender

erol don't consent and goes to tell his commander

commander surrenders (what is he? french?!)

man theres a lot of phallllic pillars holding up the walls

and they look circimcized!

real d-cks have skin

like real faces have noses

the brit forces put the injured ad women ad children on boats

but the rulers forces go j fk and sniper em

errol tries to save olvia

then the ruler takes over the base

errol and Olivia need to get reinforcements to save the women and children the ruler is b0ning

btw the ruler is called the khan

like Genghis khan?

he b0ned more chicks than anyone!

makes errol Flynn look like bill gates!

they get back to another base and get reinforcements

at the taken over base it looks empty

so they go in

they find everyone iced

in the real version they were probably chopped up and b0ned

so text sez that England went to war with Russia (who would totally kick englands candy a55 irl)

Olivia hears bro I think ids headed to battle

she talks a bit but I wasnt paying attention as I was reading about Phineas Gage

later some high rank guys talk about what to do

errol writes an order to send the light brigade to some place

he sez he wants his men to fight to avenge the base of the kids b0ned dead

but the higher rank guy sez no and for errol to deliver the letter to the light brigade

errol goes kinda spazzy and seems to snap

he recalls all the people b0ned dead

good acting btw

he changes the order but I can hardly rrad it in that squiggle rapper graffiti style hand writing

changing orders?

I'm surprised hes not drawn and quarted for that

the guy he letters to is glad to get the order and actually might be the guy who surrendered I think

errol has his bro sent off to hq to keep him outta the fight

btw errol survived the attack b4 by order of the ruler

errol gives a mel Gibson speech about avenging those who kill women and children

oh and ruler is working with the Russians

bro delivers the letter and the guy he gives it to sez the light brigade is fighting Russian artillery and are done for

so bro is sent to try to save em

the loight brigade crosses a valley and charge

the Russians blow em apart with cannons

and theres cannons surrounding em

but they keep going

huh, they really killed horses to make this

just like they really kill crabs to make sushi

the light brigade breaks through and figfhts the Russians

ruler caps errol flinn and errol Flynn spears ruler

then we get the brit flag waving and words saying to honor them

the guy who gave the real order is issues cuz for giving the order to fight

he rads the letter the bro gave and its errol confessing to faking orders

the order guy burns it to protect Flynn\

the end

that was pretty good

btw Donald crisp was olivias dad

I liked it

and I hear its popular in japan

plus I heard in the transforms the movie (1986(the GOOD one)) they wanted to kill off season 1 and 2 toys by a charge of the light brigade attack of them getting blown apart

what they did was good too

I liked this despite its brittishness

for charge of the light brigade 2 i'd like for the kahn guy to have survived but his stomach was removed and his esophagus was connected to his intestine so he has to eat a lot to get the nutrition. he turns to eating people and starts capturing people from other places and devouring em alive so he can get more nutrients. soon his cannibalism makes him the most feared man in the area and it starts an uprising for thre people joining him to avoid being eaten. they go around capturing more areas for him to eat people and soon England has to pull out cuz they cant stand seeing their men being eaten alive by him(he makes one captured guy watch and sends him back to tell).