Friday, October 18, 2019

Donnie Darko Review

note; i spell less crazy than this movie
donnie darko
this is my review on donnie darko from 2001 (the year we found that thiing on da moon and riki-oh happened)
its got jake gyllenhaal, his sister maggie, drew barrymore and the guy from ghost and big trouble in little china
its directed by richard kelly who did the boc, which i liked
f it
i misse the 1st few min
better watch it on youtube
so it starts with don waking up outside and riding his bike home
at finner his fam chats and its 88
donnie is in therapy cuz hes mental and stopped taking his meds
they swear at eachoother and donnie calls his sister a f--ka55
once i borrowed brandon's pokemon crystal and he named his rival that
later mom wants to know where donnie wahlburg goes at night and thinks he TP'ed the neighbors home
later donny takes his drugs and after dat watches a commie bashing reagan for fighting commies in south america
then its october 2, my bros b day, and donnie goes outside and sees a rrabbit furry saying when da world ends
then theres a crasdh and then its day and donny is sleeping on da lawn with a number written on his arm relating to da end of da world
oh hes on a golf corse
he goes home and finds a jet engine fell in his room
da gov handles things and gives em a hotel to hang out in while their place is fixed
later its revealed there was no plane and kid sister wants to make money from it by suing da airline
his rents think there was divine intervention that saved donny
at school his homies think hes cool for not getting killed and gives him a smoke
donnys homies are a55 holes to a fat asian
btw this is pretty widescreen
gootta fix dat
in class they read books by graham greene (mr crabby apple tree from dudley the dragon??) and donny talks about how kids in this book wanna bust stuff for fun
like the joker in the dark knight
which starred heath ledger who was jakes butt buddy in brokeback mountain
its all connected
a new girl comes in sand is told to sit next to the boy she finds cutest
of course she chooses donny and they play almost danny elfman music
in da car ride back, donnys dad sez he had to sign a form aying he cant talk about the plane not existing
big gov
its j fk 2!
so they nearly hit a geezer in da road checking da male and she tells donny something
later in therapy he sez he made an imaginary friend in the future and za warudo is ending soon
but donny domt buy it
later ar school they watch some love vs fear vid on controlling fear
its cheesey but seems like a bad 90s thing
the class laffs at a bedwetter
this seems like a paul verhoeven movie
at night he has a vision or something with his furry and takes an axe to a pipe
then its october 06
so the bus is late and the are a55 holes to the fat chinese chick
turns out da school is closed for a flood
also theres an axe in the school dog statue head
also the words "they made me do it" in weird a55 letters on the floor
so donnys homies hit on new gorl abd donny tells her schools out
the homies say shes sexy and they like her b00bs
nowadays they'd be arrested for being that straight
so they walk home and she sez her dad shanked her mom a bunch and ran off
so she changed her name
donny was in jail for torching a place and was held back in school
that explains wghy they got a 30 year old to play a teen
also his real name is donny darko like a super hero
they get a long but dony offers to b0ne and she goes home
later in therapy donny gets hypnotized and asks her about his week
hes into chix and thinks about b0ning and the show married with children
hes about to start j-rkin off so she ends the hypnosis
later in class they have everyone wriite "they made me do it" on the board to see who did it
in the bathroom a guy confronts donny about saying guy flooded da school and pulls a knife on him
cann da cops man
later the guys abd shooting beer bottles and talk about the smurts b0ning smurfette and vanity smurf being queer
they think papa smurf made smurfette to b0ne but donny sets em straight with good smurf canon
then they b--ch about the geezer whos 101 (and might have known slave owners) and checking the same mailbox over and over
later theres a PTA meeting and 1 b-chy teaches whines about peeps and poops i her flooded office
also she b0-ches about graham greene books and blames them for the school vandal thing
alsio donny sees da furry and theres a force field between em and sez furry made him flood da school and furry sez something about time travel
later its poetry day and donny reads something about protecting kids from monsters
in it he reveals frank is his 6 foot rabbit homie
is this harvey?
the dark 90s remake without jimmy stwart
better than making noah try to wipe out the human race
or dracula being mina;s bf in a past life
so b--chy yeacher has em do a thing where they read a character dillemma and rate it between fear and love
tjis is part of youngblood guy's fighting fear thing
donny cant figure out where to place this weird question on a scale of fear to love and goes mental
he is then in the office for telling her to stick the card in her candy a55
dad laffs at it
so hes out of after school cr-p for 6 months
b--chy teacher trys to tell mom to get off the path of fear
donnys rents buy him cool cr-p for standing up to her
later donny asks a guy about time travel like hes unckle rico in napokleon dynamite and they talk about worm holes
time guy sez this chick changed and wrote a timne travel book
he reads da book and sez theres tangent univeres that black hole after a few weeks
turns out its da geezer who wrote it
this is turniing into pumpkinhead
in therapy he ytells thearyopt about the geezer and hows she reminded him of his dog who bit it under the porch
donny goes on about being alone
later donny is spazzing out and seez weird ki things that guide people
like the link in yugioh with joeys monsters in his del wirh yami marik
dat 90s cgi
he follows his and finds a fireArm
donnys time book sez water and metal are needed for time travel simehow
new girl gf chats with him about it and they smooch badly
later its almostr halloween and donny carves punpkinds with teen suster
his looks bada55
oh its the fuurry
dons rents sees his shirnk and she tells them of the furry
at that time, donny pokes the force field wuith a knife and f;s out furrys eye
shrink wants to up his meds
its always uop the meds
not worrking out issues
just throw drugs at it
at da arcade donny plays outrun and later youngbloods senpai coomes over to motivate them with an anti fear thing
cuz of fear they smoke, drink, b0ne and do drugs
he gives a speech about a guy named frank whowas allmost f'd up by fear
he gives actually prettty good advice
donny questions swayze and bashes his advice wwhile giving his own
swayze sez donnys f'd up and needs help but donny bashes him and is taken away
later dfonny is malcontent over people loving this guy and hating the advice he gives
then talks to her about time travel and his visions that synchro to the book
they go to see her but i guess queer out after seeing her on her wood thing cuz it cuts to the book text about universes
i xyz summon: number infinity; the universe!!
donny talks to time guy and sez the ki from their bodies is like something relating to wormholes
and how seeing the ki from them as leading them to their destiny and how they can change that
donny goes on about going Gods way in His channel of destiny and time guy sez he cant continue as it might cause him trouble
is he trying to be God?
what is he? garlic jr?!
or in dragn ball super; zamasu (but he's also xicor)
so they cant read graham greene so they read watership down
then donny reads da book saying theres a chosen one who has 4d powers and can guide a super item to its universe
later donny finds swayze's wallet and then is in therapy telling his shrink about his destiny ki thing
later he and gf came up with glasses for infants to show them good images to give em good memorues
but teacher sez they need darkness and donnys a55 hole homeis have awful comments
what if ythey show theyr kids f'd up things
and bring up gfs dad shanking her mom
later gf and donny make out
later they go to see evil dead and the furry is there while gf sleeps
furry takes off his mask and he's got a damaged eye from donny shanking it
he looks really 80s
furry sez he's named after his dad
also the movie screen becomes a portal and frank the furry tells donny to burn it
donny goes out, leaving his gf alone in a theatre where she's probably gonna get b0ned by the cleaning crew
then we see the fat asian chick dancing and its like talent night
donnys kid sister does a pop music dance
its like in napolean dynamite where summer did that n'sync dance
donny torches swayze's place and returns to the trheatere and they make out
later his dad tells him everyone else  is full of sh-t and they fear him
like how the media hates Trump
tyhey are full of sh-t and hate Donald for telling it like it is
then swayze gets arrested for all his kid xxx in hisn bruned place
then its october 24 and the book teacher is canned
later the class watches watership down (which oi only saw the 00s series but liked it) and fiver has a vision of a field of blood
donny doesnt get how the rabbbits are metaphors for humans and sees it as them not having souls
he's too mental to get it and goes on a tirade about life being about b0ning as much as you can
this is what happens when you teach your kids evolution
gf explains to him how its a metaphor
later b--chy teacher is gong around trying to raise support for swayze as she sez hes wrongly accused
what is he? OJ?!
so she asks this chick to take the kids to california so she can defend swayze
although wasnt he like a decade older than ferris buelers sister in dirty dancing?
i never saw that though
later mom sez bye to donny to go on the trip to soviet california and they have a good momemnt
so donny chats with fired teacher
he tells the fat asian chick things will be better but it freaks her out
then he gets hypnotized in therapy and he reveals his crimes of the school and the fire
also he sez he has a time machine
also he sez furry is gonna ice someone and he seez the furry here
this is kinda f'd up
she snaps him out and tells him his drugs are placeboes
holy cr-p the therapist is the chick from the graduate
then its october 29gth (the day reboot brought bob back and my grandma's b day) and
donatellos teen sister (not venus de milo) is going to harvard to be turned into a feminist malcontent and later tis a costume party
his  homies come over and 1 is dressed like american icon hulk hogan
shirnk calls and leaves a message on their machine to call her back
gf comes to da party and sez she cant find her mom
they b0ne and mom calls saying they will be back at 8 30 and the daughter did well in the contest
then its october 30 (when the crow happened) and donny has a beer and bumps into gf after seeing the destiny ki
he realizes times running out and they go to see geezer
in there, swayze captures gf with a knife and has a homie
oh i think he shanked her
homie has a knife on donny but then a car comes in and runs over gf
they driver is a guy named frank and is in the fursuit
donny caps frank in the eye and geezer sez some cr-p to him
he carrys gfd's body home and its daytime now
he sees clouds swirling around his home and drives off with dgf in the car
the clouds have dat 80s look
then a plane with da sister and mom drops an engine and it goes through a worm hole back in time
donne reads a letter he wrote to geezer and then its where the movie started like in sonic 06
but donny is in bed and the engine wastes him
then book text sez those who returned from the tangent universe might recall some stuff in dreams
the end
that was pretty good
weird but fitting
a deep film
like the 2010s noah but for harvey with jimmy stewart
its got that late 90s feel but 80s style
jake gyllinhaal was good playing a mental patient
he seems kinda demented
good dialogue and style too
i liked this in a weird way
btw, is he part italiano or japanese
dat name, darko.
daa koh
could be either.
for donnie darko 2 i want another person in the town to have a time issue but to be in the 90s and sega and power rangers are big. also its a 16 bit action game on snes, sega genesis, atari jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as this  90s teen chick but you try to solve the riddle to fix the timeline. also the geezer is there to give tips on what to do. but theres time daemons who are after her to keep the bad timeline happen.

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