The Quick And The Dead Review

Note; i spell cowboy style
the quick and the dead
this is my review for the quick and the dead from 95 (when the playstation and sega saturn came out)
its directed by tim burton i mean sam raimi who did the good spider man movies and the evil dead trilogy
its got sharon sstone, gene hackman, russel crowe and leonardo decaoprio
ooh, pat hingle, keith david, lance henriksen , gary sinise and bruce campbell are in it
so it starts with a guy in the wasteland digging and shooting someone on a horse
but its sharon stone who plays dead to sneak attack him and chain him to a wagon to die
really good scenary here
in the 90s they didnt use green screens and actually used physical matter to make backgrounds
so she comes to town and nearly kills a guy for mistaking her for a h--ker
he only heard her voice and assumed
no need for violence
a card player comes hy with a deck with an Ace added for each time he kills someone
a shoeshine boy tells her this guy gets 50Cents of every doller to let the town live
is he a union boss??
then an escaped convict tries to seduce s s (sharon stone) but she sez no and he goes on
lter its night and theres some mexoco celebtation and after dat theres a contest  to win 123 000 $
what is this? yugioh?! (notew; yugioh began the year aftyer this movie came out)
we meet the fighters and leo is kind of a smarta55
hope he get it
so he chats with s s and brags about his cr-p
i think he wants to b0ne her
so gene hack man comes in and joins
hes the game boss like m bison or geese howard
he  mocks a guy he f'd up or soomeething who's become a priest or something
so geese i meen gene has him strung up and starts shooting out the legs on the chair he stands on to force him into the contest
s s saves him by shooting out the rope hes hanging from
the s s has viet nam flashbacks of her childhood while sleeping
then leo sez gene is his dad\
i think
i saw this b4 but its been years
so i guess its battle city rules as anyone can cxhallenge anyone to a fight
and this guy beats on the priest
but he dont wanna fight back as hes a man of peace
in the movie The Ninth Configuration, this guy swore off violence and sealed away his violence?
then his patient was at a bar being f'd by bikers and he just took their abuse and licked p-ss off the ground?
then his patient told him to fight back and the biker starts b0ning his mouth
so he goes urotsukidoji on em and violently kills em
is that what this is doing?
this gross guy challenges s s but she dont wanna fight
so gene simmons tells her she has to as its da rools
so they have the 1st match
no shooting until the 1st cllock chime
if you shoot too soojn, snipers j fk ya
2 men enter, 1 leaves
leo wins his 1st match easy and his foe surrenders after taking a few bullets
oh russel crowe is the priest
ooh, woody strode, wjo was the ethipoia king in the 10 commandments, is in here as his last film
then the indian guy talks about all the times he got capped
then theres a  montage of fight clips like in the fatal fury 1 anime by p0rn0 director masami ohbari (which came out b4 this)
so the priest has to fight but refuses so they beat on him
gene kelly trys to makke leo drop out by saying leo has farmer hands not gunfighter hands
my grandspa was a farmer you a55!
also he had a shotgun which he took out animals with
once he saw a raccoon outside and got his gun
next day; 1 bullet hole in da window, 1 dead coon on da ground
he was pretty bada55
so  gene guys a 5$ gun from leo to give it to priest
but only has 1 bullet so he qwont shoor his way outta town
this is like in hokuto no kwn how ken-oh had fudo fight him
will ghene take innocents hostage to make priest fight?
so priest is not gonna even draw and chooses to die without trying
but he shoots 1st oyutta reflex or something
like in dbgt how ss4 goku's body remembers all attacks used on it
gene reveals priest and him were homies and bad guys b4
which makes s s regret saving him
you know people change
look at piccolo in dragon ball
gene asks the card guy if hes as good as he sez and card guy sez hes equally good with each hand and iced 2 with each hand
also he icedthese bros but gene is p-ssed at him for it
they battle and gene takes out both his hands like with raoh and jyuuza
then f';s with him by shooting at his feet to make him dance b4 finishing him
the peiople pick his corpse of items
in the real version they were eating him
after more viet nam flash backs in her sleep, s s goes to fightin the tournament for her round
she remembers theres a click b4 the cllock chime and wins
also she smooches kleo who's like 20 years younger than her
what next? chichi and gohan?
well in dragn ball super they had mai and trunks
or pan and trunks in gt
at night she goees to see priest in an 1800s dress
hes chained up like a slave and has water hjust oytta reach
like that guy in hades (or was it dantes inferno?)
she chats with gene and has dinner with him
gene sez hiws dad was a judge who made him watch people getting hanged
then played russian roulette wiith him and mom until he bit it
so now he has 0 fear
priest tells his story of being shot hp and saved by a priest
but that priesty forced him to kill him so he changed his ways
like with souther in fist of the north star
later gesne trys to get leo to quit but leo is tooo stubborn to stop
oh and leo is genes kid
and now each fight is a winner gets to live
like yugioh
gene wacks keith david
lex luthor killed goliath from gargoyles
also gehe reveals he knew the town hired keith to ice him to free him from taxes
and whines about how this is his town and he decides who lives in it
then blows a husge a55 hole in keith davids head
petty bada55
leo wins a fight and gets cocky like cassius clay thinking hes the best
so in the rain s s shoots a faT a55 but fat a55 begs for his life
so s s spares him
but after going back inside, fat a555 comes at her
so she empties her gun into him
just like with raditz in dbz and the 3 star dragion in gt
this shakes her up and shes gonna leave
like young blood or team america world police
priest fights the indian and wins
but like uighur in hokuto no ken, he survives nd comnes back
and priest only had 1 bukllet
so someone thriows him a bullet and he gets indian in the head
that wouldnt be allowed today as the indian guy woyukld be the hero fighting the evil white man
later s s goes to a grAVE yard but this geezer tells her genes men smashed the stone she went to see and burned his body to dust
stone breaks down and has a flashbavk of em stri8nging up her dad when she was a kid
so she goes back and vows to ice gene
then its the finals; gene and leio, s s and priest
and if ss or priest dont fivght, they get iced
like when kewn and rei had to fight or the wolf clan would ice reis sister
leo ewants respect and to be treated like a son
soo hes gonna ice hack man
lol, s s said rissel crow was her best kisser and leo s--cked in interviews
so leo fights gene and gets gene in da neck but gets sent to soviet h e dpuble california
s s comfoerts him as he bites it
at least hes not on druigs like in that basketball movie
gene denies leo was his kid and said he gave leo all these chances
like how God gives us chances to repent but if we go our own way, we wind up in H-ll
is this a Bible movie?
the title is from the Bibe
so s s and priest have to fight but dont shoot after the clock hits
so gene tells em they got 10 secs or he'd cap em both
they both draw but priest caps s s
she bites it and priest beats on guys
but gene pulls a derenger and tells him tomorrow they fight
at night a scuzzy guy busts priests hand
when gene finds out he gives ther scuzz 20 secs to gtfo
then shotguns his a55
and gene gives priest a chance by saying he'd draw with his left hand
and sez to his snipers if priest wins, to cap him
they are aboout to draw but the clockk tower blows
then more buildings
turns out, s s faked getting icedv (wait, sharon stone? like bruce banner or wally west??) and takes out da snipers
s s reveals gene strung her dad up and gave her a gun to save him
but she blew his brains out
just like a bad super hero origin
ss and gene draw but gene has a hole in his shadow
then stone finishes his a55
then rides off as people cheen in theoir blowbn out tiown
and i think priest becomes the new owner
the end
that was cool
good simple story
good twsts
stone is bada55 like an anime chick
the set looks good and the design works
its sorta like when anime was good
its a well done film and it was cool
sam raimi does it again
for the quick and the dead 2 i want her to go after a strange anomoly in the desert whewre creatures were seen. turns out; its a portal to h-ll and daemon sasquatch are coming out to prepare to take over earth. so she gets the priest who blesses their guns so they shoot ho9ly bullets and they go to stop em. its also an 8 bit run n gun game like contra on sega master system, nes and atari 7800 where you play as stone or crowe and fight crazy daemons.