Friday, March 27, 2020

50 Shades Of Grey Review

note; my spelling is bad but this movie s-cked more
50 shades of graay
this is my reciew on 50 shades of grey
like the human centipede, its a movier that got 2 sequels that would never be made in any other year b4
so it starts with that put a spell on you song as someone runs and a guy gets dressed
its based on a book by some purvurt and was direcvted by Sam Taylor-Johnson who did a millikn littlre peices
oh f--k danny elfman did the msuic
he used to do good stuff like batman and pee weees big adventure
now hes in p0rn0
so i never saw this b4 byt my yugioh homie did and hated it
so it stars no one i heard of except Callum Keith Rennie and marcia gay harden(are these pr0n0 names?!)
so reviewers say it s-cked but it made a ot of cash
as a kid i had spiderman toys and my doc ock box said he was infamous
when i asked my mom what that measnt she said its famous for doing something bad
like the human centipede or this
so the main chick anna (like the train chick in yugioh zexal) goes to interview this guy named christian gray
liek adol christian from Y's on Master system?
btw i hear this movie has b0ning
so imma have to mention it a lot
forgive me
so they go through minor talk abut his stuff and much of it was used in the trailer like a p0rn0 film
i exercise, control, in all things
she asks if hes queer and he sez no and he sez he's not a goo guy or w/e
so he starts asking her questions and she sez shes in college or w/e and after graduation wants to move to societ seattle (where shadowrun on genesis happens)
huh, accordijng to wikepedia, there was gonna be a xxx verion of the books thats closer to the source material but universal stopped it
no one can make this p0rn0 but me!!
they also did svu, which is pretty close
in lebanon its rated 21+ and in french canada its 16+ cuz they are pdegenerates who think teens should watch p0rno
so at home she chats with her room mate about the grey guy (gruy?? )and later in class she chews his pen he gave her as phallllic pymbolism
later her freind is getting his art shown in some place and after dat she gets a call from someone who's bf busted his foot golfing(HOW?!!?) and they can't make it to annas graduation
then graymp is in the store with her like batman suddenly appearing and he helps her shop for tape and rope
oh anna works at the hardware store
she suggests coveralls to paint in and he suggests he does it naked
so after her art friend takes graywads pictures grayboy asks him if she has a bf and she sez no
she tells of her fam ona date and se her dad bit it and her mom had a lot of guys
so gary walks out and she follows and he  saves her from a buke going by ans he sez he isnt right forn her and dont need a gf
is this twilight?!
oh h-ll no
mark wahlburg tried to get the rights to this
wasn't boogie nights enuff?!
and the studio wanted ryan gosling for the lead
from pg breaker high to nc17 this
later grayhole sends anna some rare books and she goes drinking with her droogs
after a few drinks she calls him and acks drunk but he cares and sez hea comming to get her
a gy (ofh its her art friend) tries to b0ne her while both are drunk and graymo saves her
she wakes up in grays hotel room and gray sez he slept on da couch as "necrophililia is not his thing" and he changed her puked on clothes
he tells her she was in danger as she was drunk and suggests if he b0ned her sahe couldn't sit dfor a week
butt damage!!
he sez he dont do romance and his tastes are singular but she wants to see
so they make out a bit and come home to her room mate b0ning a guy, oh its grays bro
so later its another night(why is everything at night?! is this batman?!) and they ride in grayholes copter around seattle to 90s pop sounding song what r u waiting 4
how about waitingb for marraige?
don't wanna geet hiv!
so at his place he has her sign a legal thing and she asks if they gonna maek love
he sez he dont make love, he f--ksa, hard
what is this? mad tv/family guy?
he takes her to his playroom and sez she can go at any time
its some kinda SM dungeon like in Yugioh
almost an hour in and we get to introducing his fetish
but it dont seem to drag
it has some flow
he sez he wants her to willingly surrender to him
if she follows da rulez he rewards her and if not he punishes her
imagine if she wore the leather bikini naga wore in slayers?
so he gives her a place to spend da weekend and wants her to look over another contract that will have her legally define what she don't like doing when being f'd
also shes an innocent virgin and grayboy is shocked
what a degenerate
once at a yugioh tourney this furry was surprized imma virgin enen though i got a gf as he found it weird people dont just go around b0ning
well 3xxcuudse me for having class and morals
so gray b0nes anna and we see his a55 like tommy wiseau
they een got a cr-ppy song and bad editing
i do like the blue lighting like the bodyguard
but otherwiise tmmy's version wasnt as bad
soo after several mins of b0ning its the next day and she makes breakfast
it took an hour with adds to get to the 1st love scene
thern they take a bath together and we see her dark nips
after that he ties her arms together and is gonna b0ne her but grayboys mom comes over
they get dressed and she meets his stepmom as he was adopted
btw annas name is steele, like hunter steele from spidr riders
yugioh and spider riders
odd connections for a p0rn0
although there was a beyblade ep called last tango in paris
imagine grade schoolers looking thst up
what's superman's dad doin with that butter?! noooooooooooooo!!
after mom goes gray sez this is da 1st time she saw him with a chick and that 15 other chicks were with him
so he wonders why she gotta have her own room when they were in da same bed last night like normal people and he dont assnwer
so he drivs her home to music and on da way they stop in da woods where he reveals his moms friend made him her buttslave for 6 years and it turned him into a deviant
he sez when he gave up control he felt free and safe
those who give up a little freedom for a little security deserve neither; benjamin frenklin
wait, is this a metapphor for unions?
like a serbian film is a thing on communism?
so shes back home and garyboy sends her another gift and her roommate sez she seems different
she uses her new laptonp gift and aim chats with gray
then she leads the contract and moves to seattle and theres all these rules about what do do like no drugs or smokes and take birth control pills and no cheeting
this just keeps going on and on and on
and we're only half way through the movie
another 90 mins of slow sodomy
so at gyray place he ties her up and coovers her eyes and puts ice on her bod and eventually b0nes her
later they meet and go over the secks toys she consentws to and not and she dont now what a butt pllug is
so she goes to graduate and her fam comes by and grey gives a speech about helping the slum countries
at the party gray meets anas parents and later on grey gives anna a big red car
is that a ferrari mustang?
he sold her cr-pmobile and after she rolls her eyes her takes her in and spanks her a55
2 hours in b4 the SM
once in grade school, a teacher got married and asked if the class ad any questions
1 girl asked "are you into S B4 M? and he was like S b4 M?! and was smiling and almost chuckling at that question
grade school degenerates
so later that golf gf calls and sez sorry for missing ur graduation and theey talk about guys
so latwr annna is at home and her room mate notices her car keys
at grays place she sees her picturte in da paper wiith gray and it sez they are friends
friends dont f--k freinds
so thhey go to his SM dubgeoms and he slowly ties her up and eventually whips her a55itha horse thing to that crazy right now song they had in all ther trailoers
so eventually do do b0niing stuff and later dance b4 going to see grays sister and dad for dinner
btw this thing of an innocent girl turned into a degenerate by a guy f'd by a woman in his life was used in the adult anime Stepmother Sin
after dinner he spanks and makes out with ehr  as he was malcontent over her not mentioning she was from georgia or her fam was or w/e
she whines about not being in the same bed or not letting her touch him and she wants a normal relatonship but he dont know how do do normal stuff cuz hes a degenerate
just saw how this is a story about how normal people can be corrpupted by deviancy and ruined as now gray cant have a normal life as he;s obbsessed with his lusts
luke guys who get hooked on j-rkin off
so later he sez his birth mom was a crack wh--0re and went to h-ll wjen he was 4 and he dont recall her
so she goes to the confederacy to be with her golf gf homie
later gray comes by the south and hergolf gf likes him
anna  dont like gray being friends wth the cougar who made him a SM purvo and he gets her on a  glider trip that looks like something from a 60s movie about the 21st century
so then he goes back to seattle for a work thing and when she gets back he tieds her up and does slow mo whippings b4 eventually probably b0ning her
later they talk about why he wants to punish and hurt her and he dont wanna tell her why he has these deviancys
she dont wanna be punished and he sez hes 50 SHHADES of f;d up
she wants him to show her the worst so she can understand
remember in degrassi where darcy got fd and wanted to b0ne peter so it would make it right?
or miles finds out his butt buddy si a virgin and treis to b0ne him to make it right?
thats what this is doin
so he whips her and counts and she dont want him deviant a55 anynore
so she sez shes falling in love with him and he don like that as it might make him normal or w/e
later she wants her car back but its been sold so gray will write her a check
so she walks out and he comes for her but she sez no and he stops and the leevator closes and the credits roll
the end
thats it?
i thought it would be hard core
violence jack was worse as you see the hermaphrodites weener
it dont really end as much as just stop
we don't even really see what his dark secret or reason for the SM was
i mean thats what part 2 and 3 were for but i do 1 movie per seroes
but honestly, its not so bad
its not annoying or hateful or too bad
it doesnt drag and even though its like 3 hours and not much happens, its decent
sorta like alien 1 how the 1st half dont have much going on
the music and lighting was sorta 90s and its not as explicit as stuff like la blue girl or urotsukidoji or nami sos
i didn't hate it but ita not really my kinda movie
its not as bad as everyone sez
for 50 shades of grey 2 i want grey to he having issues with his sm thing and longing for anna back. she wants him back too but realizes he's got severe damage from his f'd up life. he wants to change but needs srs help. so he and anna go to the jungle to find this ancient temple with a legendary pool that can cure any issues of the soul. also its 1 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis, snes, ataRI jaguar, tg16 and gba where you play as either gray or anna and fight through animals and natives and cryptids as bosses.

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