Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Hugo Review

Note: My spelling is better than my knowledge of this movie
this is my review on Hugo from 2011, the year of the 1st Robotech War and such.
Its directed by Martin Scorscene asnd stars ben kingsly, jude law, christo[pher lee, and no one else i';m aware of
its based on a book or something called The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
 so its soviet france in the 30s or something and theres little color as they dont have souls over there
this wiener kid lives in a place like robbie rotten from lazy town and oh its a clock, and watches a guy make some weird cr-p
he trys to steal it but the guy catches him and finds his pockets are full of mechanical cr-p and a paper book with designs in it and a flip book animation of a guy turning
da geezer takes his notebook as kid wont say who did the drawing scuz hes a little candya55 and this fruity frenchie cop chases him with his skinny black dog across the train station and crashes around
kid gets away and cop gets his leg brace from getting snipered by the kaiser's man caught in a train and dragged
kid goes back to his clock tower lair and works on this gear thing as he watches the alleged humans below
is he the hunchback of notre dame gx?
he looks out of the tower an it zooms out over the city like in the cro
then the title
huh, this won 05 oscars and is fullscreen on the family channel in soviet canada
oh and the guy who did borat is in this
so kid remeets geezerr and tells him his name, hugo and wants his notebook back
but geezer wants to burn it so he waits outside the guys place until thsi girl comes out and sez geezer isnt a theif,kid is
girl sez she'd keep geezer from burnijng his notem=book and and later kid is in a room with an artificual human (jinzo ningen) and thsi guy there sez it can write
him and this guy work on it to fixx it
i think this is a flash back
so kid is fixing the thing and hsi uncle shows up saying the guy bit it in a fire and takes him to live at the station and fix clocks
also the guy was his dad
guuess it was a flash back
everyones forggoten about thre hidden areas in the train station and they live there now and no more school
later kid jacks a french thiing and avoids ccop borat and asks geezer for his notebook back to fix something but geezer sez go away
kid rujns off but girl comforts him and takes him to the library
holy cr-p its christopher bee!!
girl sez geezer ddint burn his book and knows its important
also she helps him to have an adventure
gotta get those dragon balls!!
so kid bugs geezer again and geezer has him fix a toy mouse and geezer has him work off the cr-p he jacked from him to earn back his notebook
what is this? a DS Game??!!
then a montage of kid working on his jinzo ningen
then the borat cop catches this kid and sends him to the orphanage
but 1st puts him in a cage like the prez did in 2014 and treats him like sh-t like the prez did dissenters
they send the kid in a carraige and borat cop talks with a cop who's woman is pregnant and he hasn't b0ned her in the past year
today, on Maury!!
so kid chats wiith girrl about silebnt movies and shes never seen 1 as her geezer wont let her
what a nazi!!
why not just spoon out her eyes like in slumdog millionare?~!
so tthey sneak into a mocie and watch safetu last with harold lloyd
good choice, although i'm not sure they'd be playing that in 31
they get ejected as they didnt pay and girl sez her rents are in h-ll and her godparents adopted her
he tells her of the trip to the moon by george melies and he misses his rrents who are also in h-ll
holy cr-p! we're like an hour in!
that felt like nothing
he sez he lives in the clock place and they go to da clock place and avoid da borat cop
he calls eem over but girl sez she worx for geezer and hugo is her cousin
when dog barx at him she implies hugo is ret-rded
and they cover dog hating hugo by saying he smells her cat and she does poetry like tommy wiseau
does ali g here always play the bad guy?
btw, if the guy implied the girkl was ret-rded the feminists would go up the a55 over it
shhe wants to see  his home but he dittches  her and she alls and is wallked on by pushy new york frechies and he ssaves her
he notices her key on her neck and he takres her to his clock tower prison field spell and shows her his jinzo ningen
they use the key to high five the sky and it writes a few letters in wrird pattern
hugo spazzes out and goes mental but the karakuri thing goes more and ddraws the bulet hitting da moon in da eye from that 1900s geoege melays movie
then it signs it george melies and girl sez thats her geezrs name
they go to see geezer and they find his wife and show  him the picture
hugo sez his dad found the jinzo ningen and fixed it and wife wont tell em cuz they are too young and walks out
da kids examine a wood thing wife looked at and find a hidden thing in it and find a  box that when dropped, poops out lots of art from george melies movies
then george w melies comes in and busts em and gets p-ssed
he raises his hand and slaps the hugo dead in 1 blow
really he just cries and hugo goes home as george is ginna beat that girl for reopening his scars
later at the train palace he meets christopherl walken lee and lee hives him a robin hood book meant for his godson
also borat cop is into a woman as despite being french, he likes girls and trys to talk to her
after seeing some of borat and how he did with that 5kank from baywatch, its about even
after giving up and saying he was cripled in da war, she sez her bro got it and they gro closer
later at da library christoper lee shows them a book on da 1st  movies and we see em
ooh, d w griffith's intolerance!
and caligari
movies were better in the 20s
then they read of george melies and it sez he bit it in the war
then the author of da book is there and they say g m is alive but he dont buy it
writer shows  them his george melies museum with all this cr-p he had and they realise he was a magician and was happy back then
writer sez he met g m when his bro who worked for g m and saw his glass film studio and g m tells him this is where dreams are made
he made over 500 movies and they only have 1 that survived
give it a few decades
thewy'll find more
the kids wanna surprize g m and show his films
but hugo drops a wrench and broat cop things its uncle and drunk
soo gir and hugo strange talk about how da world is like a machine and tthey never have extra pparts and that means he and her are there for a reason
is this a pro life movie?
later hugo is standing on train trax to get a metal thing and da train is headed to him cuz hes a p-tz
da train goes off da  rails and out dda window but it was jest a dreem
i keep seeing adds on tv about people who lost relatives to playing on train tracks
every from months i hear something thats the dumbest thing i've heard a real human do
then a few months later something tops it
grizzly man is gonna be issac newton in a few decades
so hugo wakes up abd is mart amechanical guy
but thats another ddream
dream ception
so later borat gets a call dsaying uncle bit it
hugo and writer go to meet g m but hes not well but writer sez he loved g m s films and he thinks wie still looks hot like in da movies
he sez they have 1 filme left and they watch it
ys a trip to dda moon and they see her as da chick on da cresnt moon showin off her pits
after da movie they see g m behind eem and he tells his life story of being a wizard with his wife being his assistant
wasnt he married to another chick then and had a few kids?
he made the jinzo ningen and at a carvinal and saw da 1st movie
the movie cam inventers thought movies wouldnt go annywhere so he made his own cam and made his own films like tommy wiiseau did
adter da war, people were tired offantasy andhe burned his stuff and sold his movies to a company who melted em to make shoe heels
spoiler; in real life, george burned his own films as he was disgruntled
also he solm his jinzo ningen to a museum and gave up
or as the french say, surrendered!!
so hugo returns to the train thing and hears cop bruno saying they found uncle in thevriver after rotting for months
then how did they jnow it was him?!
bruno catches him and locks him in a cage
from bruno to barock
also bruno was  in the otphanage as a kid and is a nazi now
just wait a few years
he's gonna be salutin zee fuhruh!!
just like un bruno and borat
so hugo escapes with a lock pick and gets  in the hidden areas but bruno sends his dog
is tthis like the omen 1?
so hugo to avoid getting his parts bit off, escapes on the clocks hands  of the tower and hangs ffrom the minute hand
didnt think this through, didja?
hope that dog gets chewed up in the gears
so ali g goes back thinking kid got away and kid goes back in and comes down with the jinzo ningen but borat grabs him and the machine man falls on da trax
kid saves it but a train comes and borat pulls em up
kid has a heartfelt appeal and g m shows up and sez kid belongs to him
wtf did that mechanical chaser just shrink?!
i though it was human sized
later the writer sez they found over 80 of g m's fiolms and g m coems down and gives a speech abiut coming to dream with him like teddy ruxpin and we see his films
its really great and is better than most modern films and shows
later its a party and all the guys from da film are here, except the ones who bit it, and borat has a cyber leg
everyones happy and gets along
until the axis comes in a few yars
the end
that was splendid
i liked it
clean, fun, cool, charming, with heart and history
a classic look back at a simpler time after looking back at a simpler time
its like 3 hours with adds but don't feel like it and has good flow and feel
it never drags and is just a nice cool film
its worth seeing and the critics were right about it for once
too bad it f'd out at the box office
still a good movie
the transformers movie did bbad too and it was awesome
but this is a different kinda good
for hugo 2 i want it to be the 40s and george and hugo are hiding underground and making mechanical limbs for soldiers who got caught by zee axis and chopped up and make new steampunk weapons to fight em off. also its a ds and psp game where you play as hugo and figth in a bulletproof steampunc suit and go through several levels doing missions to fight zee axis. then in hugo 3 he's fighting the commies who took over and are worse.

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