Friday, March 13, 2020

A Monster In Paris Review

note; i spell better than the french
a monster in paris
this is my review on a monster in paris from 2011 (the year of the 1st robotech war)
its got adam goldberg, daNNY huston, catherine o'hara and no one i'm famillier with
its directed by Bibo Bergeron who did animation for asterix, an american tail 2, ferngully, we're back a dinosaur story, a goofy movie, all dogs go to heaven 2, antz, the iron giant, and other nostalgic cr-p
i never saw this b4 but heard its good i think
huh, its based on the phantom of the opera and produced by luc besson who did taken and the 5th element
so its set in 1910 before the bad guys started ww1 and blamed germanny for it and there was just a river flood in soviet france
then its this cgcouple with qa nerdy girl and a beta male(well. he IS french!!) who almost get wat by a dinocroc who shoots fire
bbut its really a movie and a dream and the guy is working the projection in a theatre
so guy wants to be with the nerd girl but he;s a wiener and she has a cool guy comes by with a meilies film
the animatuon looks like the 2010s inspector gadget
he tries to ask her oot but isnt man enuff to get it out and goes off with cool guy to get camera parts and cool guy named raoul gives him advice
but cool guy has bad dna as hes allergic to birds
at da cam shop guy is into a new cmera and buys it but a theif jacks it andf cool guy accidentally stops him with his remote car accessories
they go to this mansion to see the professor and he's oopt in soviet new york but hes got a monkey whos in charge and sez not to touch anything
cool guy ignores this and guy films them going through it and cool giy f's with chemicals
he uses unstable fertilizer on a seed and it goes to house size sunfklower and knocks over chemicals that make some kinda bug monster appear and jump through the roof
cool guy didnt see it and they go off but the bug jumps aroudn the city like the tick at night
later this big buff guy whos like gaston from that disney movie wants something new and interesting
of he's obcviously the bad guy cuz he's an alpha male(despite being french) and this singer in the bar he's at does an angel song like in the portrait of dorian gray
after da song, sinbger is told to get a bf and shes not into the commissioner
later, at knighte, thsi couple drops her pearls and they see the bug and spazz out and tell da cops
1 cop wants to investigate and buff guy wants to be the hero of soviett france for this
they put signs uup and singer spooks cool guy who drops champaigen and they bicker
later main guy chex his footage and sees the monster and cool guy thinks they made it
also cop finds em from the film he found at the mansion
buff guy is on a date with singer and has a destiny view of humanity
cop takes da fiolm and shows it to the buff guy and they think the chemicals made a mmonkey flea into the bug
buff guy thanks cool guy for giving him a chance to be a hero ands  gives cool guy a medal from a box of em
at night the bug goes around and finds singer who trys to help it but she faints when seeing its face and spazzes out when she comes to and runs inside
but bugman sings a bummer song about hiding and we see his p o v of going around freakin guys out
how did it learn to talk??
so she warms up to it annd names iit a french name  meaning honest heart and lets it in
so is this gonna be the next king kong?
she makees it a suit and mask and gloves which totally makes a bugman fit in wiith people
at least in robotech the invid evolved their kind to be more humanoid
main amd cool guys come by as b4 she sed if they have the medal of honor they gget da best seat in the house
and they got some from da commissioner who i guess was the buff guy
this fat midget woman hears bug playing and loves it and wants singer to work with him
singer overhears cool guy and main guy saying cool guy is gay for singer and then singer and bugman do a show with a bit of western hint to it
is this rango 2?
also we see a dance thing in their mind or w/e  across the cuty and then its them on the show
afterward main and coool guy goes to see her and say the show was great but they discover bugman is the bugman when his extra arms come out
she gets em to see the bugman is ok and later ttheres a press confernce where buff guy sez hes gonna ice the monaster with water and thats totally the reason he didnt drain the streets
and a sissy waiter outs the monster as he overheard b4
cool guy and main guy race to the singers place after main guy gives nerd gitl a letter axin 4 a d8 and buff guy and and da cops bust in and search but theres nothing tthere
sissy guy gets arrested to be b0ned dead in 1900s french prison and after he goes, bugman was hiding in da piano
later buff guy announces hes running for mayor and songer songs a song and main guy gives buff guy the antidote to the mnster
then bugman come in all black like an emo kid and buff guy throws the antidote and cool guy stomps the now flea sized monster
but it was fake and buff guy finds it under the trap door and fires on it but its back shell protex it
it jumps away and excapes down a trolley as cool guy, main guy and songerslide down thr stairs on a wood sign
bugman gets more away on a bu ad buff guy goes after him in an air thing with a fan pedal thing sorta like a steam punk greendog on sega as good guys go throug the streets in cool guys car
good guys get bug and monkey dumps woof to block da cops as the cops get him
cool guy thtows his staw coat as bait to lure a horse out to bock da cops, although in the 1910s they'd probably just plow through it and clean up da splatter later
then buff guy uses a grappling hook and catches da car from his airship and main guy gets out on a moviing car to get it off as buff guy takes shots at him
eventually buf guy gets enough sadbas off and the pedal powered aipship is lifing up a truck, then drops it on a boat as bugman goes to the eye full tower
nerd girl is there nd bugman lands there but the growing roids is wearing off and the sunflower and bugman are turning back
good guys get to da awful tower but their truck sinks and they meet with nerd girl
buff guy caps the helium baloon holding his thing up to lower it and fights the guud guys
he kicks their beta a55es and singer is hanging from the tower as cool guy trys to save her but gets stuck
so now its snowing like how after noahs flood was the ice age and main guy and gerd girl try to stop buff guy but it f'd ut
then he turns on the tower lights and suckerpunched buff guy off the towerand hes probably dead
cool guy uses a seed he saved to throw in waterand it grows big enuff to save em
buff guy survives being dead and caps monster offscreen
then the investigators arrest buff guyfor icing bugman and f ing up paris witrh his crazy cr-p
dont drop the soap!!
nah, hes a big buff guy
he's gonna be butt hammering everyone else!!
so later professer returns and seez his lab and the seed and later singer is gonna sings a song but is bummed
thenn she hears the bug voice and cheers up and sings
good guys go back to da lab and use chemicals to turn the bug back to bugman and he dances with singer and cool guy
everyone dances like its dora the explorer
then its like a flashbavk or something and we se cool guy as a kid rolling his toy car and singer as a kid taking it
how are there cars?! isnt this in the 1800s?!
so in now cool guy confesses his love for singer and they snooch
the end
btw this was fullscreen
that was pretty good
nice, lite, clean, not dumb or doofy, decend animation, goood music, i like 1900s and 1800s things
that wwas pretty good
although its about an evil alpha male and heroic beta males fighting him
but i still enjoyed it
then in da credits, they use the airballoon to drop sunflowerseeds to suck up the water and grow big
now the end
but i liked it and thought it was welll done
it goes by at a good pace and doesn't drag
glad i saw it
for a monster in paris 2 i want sring heeled jack to start gutting people in paris and its up to the bug man to takke him on. also he fights several other 1800s and 1900s legends. its also an 8 bit platformer game like castlevania or vampire, master orf darkness on sega master system and game gear, nes, gameboy, tg16 and atari 7800 where you play as the bugman and take on various mutated frenchies affected by jack and beat the evil outta em.

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