Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Demolition Man Review

Note i spell less accutrate than this movie
demolition man
thiss is my review on demolition man from 2001993
its got sylvester stallone, wesley snipes, sandra boullock, benjamin bratt, denis leary, glann shadix, rob schneider and Adrienne Barbeau from the 90s batman
i saw this b4 and its quite good
its said to be based on the book Brave New World that i never read but my mom thinks is cool
so it starts in los angelas in the distant future year of 1996 and its a monkey house
gun fights, burning cities, darkness
and simon phoenix is in it having caught a bus full of hostages
so john rambo i mean spartan busts in with unlimited ammo aparently and fights his way to phoenix who sez he told da gov "no one comes down here" and blames his victims
and john cant cap him as hes holding a blowtorch over a gas soaked floor
so after lighting it with a cigar, they fight and john beats the info outta phoenix(poilce violence! White cop beats up black guy! the news will make Phoenex the hero and the cop the bad guy!)
so john gets phoenix out b4 the building goes up but his boss busts his a55 over going in w/o authorization
john did a thermo check but there was only the gang
then they find the bodies of the hostagesand one skipped trial later(i assume the news made john look bad) john is put in a cryogenic prison until 2046 (after the invid leave) and his mind will be f''d with suggestion
btw theres all these little details like the assiatant warden being the head guy in da future and phoenix's comment of losing his head if its not attached that make this movie hreat
you watch it a few times and notice foreshadowing
then its the dustant future year of 2032 (after the invid took over) and sandra bullock is a cop in a wiener society where theres no real crime or disagreement and everyone is a candy a55
just like now
when this came out, my dad thought it was stoopid
but then the 2010s happened
suddenly, aa machine spraypaints graffiti on a metal thing, then its instantly burned off
and denis leary is planning a raid for food
when sandra gets in and hears of the 3 secornd graffiti she asks "why wasnt all cars notified?"
just like now wwhen they all the cops cuz someone put up a paper that sez "its ok to be white"
sandra likes the 20th century and thinks its cool and hs cr-p from the 90s on the walls
also the cheif of police rags on her for comments about wanting something to happen
just like the cops being called on twiitter posts
so phoenex is up for parole and knows the safe word to open da restraints and beats down everyone with his bare hands
unarmed man vs cops! hate crime!
also he  cuts out the wardens eye to use a  retnal scanner and escape and the cops are alearted to a murder death kill
the last one was in 2010 and todays cops dont know what the code word is
oh and its august 04 2032
remember that date
the computer sez its siimon phoenix and he was put away b4 they had implants to track guys
1 cop recalls him and how he tried to set up a kingdom in south central soviet LA
kinda like louis riel?
so they follow the car he jacked and hes searching for denis leary with some  kinda subconscious urge
he looks for a gun and when he swears too much the cops are called
just like idiots calling the cops on name calling today
the cops do jack sh-t to him and jack got aids as he beats their candy a55es
hes like if an eearth human went to mars and busted their 1/3rd gravity a55es
so then thehead of the new society blames this alll on learyand his merry men in a room full of monitors for a skype meeting just like today
when the fata55 from beatlejice tells leader of phoenix's rampage, leader tells cheif to do w/e he can
90s cop tells em of john rambo sparton the demolition man who took down phoenix and benjamin bratt dont believe 90s footage is real life as he's used to candy a55 life
1 part has the news asking why he nuked a 4 million dollar mall to save a child hostage who was worth 250 000 and the little girl sez f--k you to the news
perfect look at the news and how they are the bad guys
so they defrost rocky on ice and cheif is not pleased
they reveal to him its been 36 years, his wife bit it in the earthquake of 2010 (when robotech happened) and they don't know about what happened with his daughter
also ssanta barbra los angelas and sandiego fused and smmoking, drnking, smokes, uneducation toys, aborrtion, pregnancy and swearung is illegal
after da toilet, he sez theres no toilet paper but has 3 sea shells they use that he dont know of and rob schneidet laffs like a ret-rd
he recconnects with 90s cop and swwears a lot to get  tickets to wipe his a55 with
also he dont like da low freedom future and how he got a tracket put in him
cheif sez phoenix is gonna start up a drug ring but sparten sez he's going for a gun
huh, cheif is played by Bob Gunton wjo was in shawshank remdemytion and patch addams
on the way to da museum, they listen to da radio where they hear commercials from the 50s and think its what people in the 20th century listened to as music
phoenix gets to the muesem guns and throws a guy through the glass he can't hit through to get da guns but realizes" this is da future! where all da phazer guns!?" and shoots open the magnetic accelartor gun case but ther museum lox down
the cops arrie and they dont have guns like its f--king england and have rods to zap people out
phoenix uses a cannon to blow open the lock down and fights jonn after jon getys a gun
had he not had the gun, he'd be f'd
good guy with a gun!
they wind up in a preserved area of soviet los angelas after a quake and phoenixs mag gun blows oprn a fire hydrant(its still got water connected to it?!)
ater beating hm with a tv (which nowadays theu'd make him look bad for) he shocks the water with his rod and phoenix gets away after another mg blast
he holds up leader but cant ice him and leader tells him to ice dennis
john rambarten comes in, phoenix flees and to thank him, leader invites him to taco bell
holy cr-p! right after stallone sed taco bell, it went to commercial and i got a taco bell add!!
thats worse than on degrassi jr high; kathleen is anorexic and bulimic. after binging and purging she looks in the mirror saying to herself; ur so fatt!! right after this is a commercial break. the 1st commercial? MCDONALDS!!
so they regroup and find all money is done by coding in theitr hands like the Bible warned us of and phoenic cant buy or sell cr-p
then on the way to tako bell, bullock sez schwarzenegger was president
i wish!!
too bad we got that commie from africa
also now all restaurants are tako bell as they were the only ones who survived the franchise wars
sounds like dante's inferno!
i never had mexican food!
so leader and stallone chat and its said that things went to h e double california after a while and he fixed things
and when john was in ice he was aware of everything and everyone thought they dont feel anything in there
is that a thing on the unborn??
then dennis leery's men attack and they look like mad max guys
stallone fights em off and finds they just wanted food
its revealed they are the scraps who dont like livig in their world and live underground like in beast machines or yugioh 5Ds
spartin tells off bullock for loving him beating up those monkeys andlater he tells herhe wonders about his daughter but he dont want her to search 4 her
she gives him a gamecube disk and then leader meets pgoeni in his office and leader explains he trained phoenix in prisoon to ice huys to take owut deeenis for him
phoenix wants leader to defrost more guys to help him and he wants a city of his own like robotnik in the sonic 3d games
leader sez hes gonna refreeze john after deenis wacks deenis
so john and bollock go back to her place with 50s cr-p in it and she wants to b0ne him after seeing him beat people upp
he hasnt b0ned in 20 years
as 10 years in thev dr's played a prank with his body
so bullock uses head things to give them some kinda virtual thing of them in aflashing lights thing as da love boat theme plays
not the 1st time stallone b0ned on camera
he takes off his headthing and explains he wanted to b0ne her butshe sez itas illegal as after aids was more cr-p andb0ning ruined society
kids are made in labs and kissing is illegal
is j-rkin off illegal?
as a teen i thought it was after peewee got arrested for it
i mean we got smilar laws
if a 16 year old texts a picture of his weener to a guy he likes he's charged with p0rn0 of an underaged kid: himself
so a teen j-rkin off is him grabbing a 16 year olds parts
also we have laws against doodling fictional guts under 18 doing stuff
if i drew bart b0ing skinner i'd go to jail
and its illegal to watch certain games or movies in china, cuba, north korea, australia, england, canada, new zealand, germany, and other commie countries
if you can't watch cool devices in soviet canada cuz its "degrading" to illistriuations of chix being SM'ed then it makes sense other things would be illegal
so rambo goes back to his apartment andv a nakked chick calls but its wrong number and watches the gamecube disc of phoenix not capping leader
so later stallone sez he has the urge to knit and its reveealed he was programmed in cryoosleep to knit
my grandpa was a tailor in soviet poland
and phoenix's rehab program was said to train him to ice people
they go to see leader who programmed pgoenix and hes on skype monitors and points out him surviving phoenix for 9+ seconds is not usual
he points a gun to leaders head after capping his monitors and leader sez to lock spartewn up
sarten goes out as tthe cops cant stop him with words and he brings benjamin bratt and billick to the underground where he figgers fenix is as they dont monnitor it, care of it, or go into
i just rrealized that had leader not candied everyones a55, he could've sent cops doown there to take out denis leary
in there hee has a burger and beer but its a rat burger like in violence jackk evil town
btw the plot of this was ripped off by Konami in Contra Shattered Soldier
the people aint violent and they meet deenis who is fighting the non freedom leader forces on em
btw, this seems tio be one more thing the matrix ripped off
the media makes him look like the bad guy as hes not one of em like with Trump
meanwhile, phoenix has his men, fills em in on the situation and they wanna take out leader and run things
they attack denises place and dennis and stallone hold em off and phoenmis escapes up da man hole like a ninja turtle
stallone and bilokck get up in an elevator that busts through floors sopmehow in a 1970s oldsmobile and theres a car chase like in judge dredd but not on hovercycles
bullock drives bad and stallone gets on da roof and jumps on phexiz carand rhey fight as phoenix sez the hostages from 40 years ago were already dead and sparten went to jail for nothing
phenix gets out and pratisdrives the car into a thing but it fills with j-zz and protects him
then cheif comes by to arrest him but just yells and does sh-t as he dont got a gun to make people follow the law (like soviet england)
then denes comes up andbenjammin bratt has joined em and spartin and buloki drive off
btw, this supet contriolled city thing was used in chi na by da commies
so phinix sees leader who wants to use this chaos as an excuse to oppress more people and phoenix has his freedman shoot him
bob the beetlejuice fata55 sez he can work for phoenix and was probably b0ned by him after this scene
so spartan and sandra fight guys and she wastes a guy to save spartan and she sez she learned to fight from jackie chan films
PLOT HOLE!! they thik the jolly green giant is a 20th century music song
how do they get axis to jackie chan films?!
so they find leader cooked on da fire and see phoenix is thawing the cryocrooks
phoenix wants dahmer unthawed as he loves that guy and i think that means they b0ned
stallone glow rods ot bollolkoand goes in commando to take outphoenixs men in cryo babks
phoecxin uses a claw machine cklaw to grab him amd shoot at him, missing every shot(not even in the arm or anything) but sly uses a collant pipe to freeza and bust da giant claw
phinix uses a lazer to bust the area and spoill fluid on da floor and they have a fustfight
they just beat on each otther like raoh and kenshiro in the last battle andstallone is beat down but hits a freeze pod to freeze the area and hang on the claw, then kick off phoinixs head which shatters on da floor
then the place blows with all the convicts (even those wrongfyully arrested) going to h e double new york and stallone outsruns a fireball
so with leader in h e double england and the cryoprisin done, the scabs andelites gotta coeexist and fata55 ants to work with denis
stallone smoochews  sandra and she likes it (never been kissed!!) and its implied they gon b0ne
the end
hay, kane hodder, jack black and jesse the body ventura were in this
so this was quite good
it nailed the future andwe aint even there yet
Christopher flick in editors looks like irt sez f--k
2nd cameraman; john holmes
the p0rn0 actor?!
this is why i read credits
theres good names in em
but i liekd this
its got good action, music and themes
it shown where we can wind up if we aint careful
and it got how unamerican sociat california is
its got a genesis game i got on my multicart and i otta play it sometime
plus this inspired judge dredd with rob schnieder and stallone saving the future
plus the whole; keep the past hidden to keep people under control, was done by commies who wanna esare history like tearing down statues or being shi na
this was cool and clever and deep and was a great look at a possible future
good thing for america standing up to the commies
for demolition man 2 i want it to be years later and spartan has found his daughter and she's a bada55 who lived underground. but the society has people who liked the restrictive way of life rising up and having violent protests to try to force the oppressed way of life backk. and its up to stallone and his daughter to fight through them and beat doen their leader. its also a 16 bit sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba game where you play as one or both of em and wail on commies.

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