Thursday, April 16, 2020

The Accountant Review

note; i spell bad but aT LWAST i;m not ben afflack\
the acccountant
this is my review on the accountant from 2016(when robotech did cr-p)
it has candy a55 ben affleck, j k simmons, anna kendtick, jeffery tambor and john lithgow and is directed by Gavin O'Connor wjho i never saw any of his other films
i saw this b4 and thought it was ok
so it starts with a guy going through a building with a gun and cuts to a place in the 80s with some kids having autism attacks
1 nerd puts a puzzle together super quickand the other kis are spazzing out as his rents talk with the teacher about helping him learn how to function
his puzzle he puts together is missing a piece and he starts going mental that its not finished
eventually, this chick gives him the pieceand shesa bit spazzy too
oh and he duid the puzzle facedown so hes just matching the pieces  not the picture
hes a freekin machine!!
then its the present day andv bennifer afflack is an accountannt and working with humans but he's a bit soul less and mathy
then j k from spiderman and oz (the prison show where guys spread aids) goes over this chicks criminal past and sez sdhe lied on a form and if shwe dont wanna go to jail, she's gon=tta let him b0ne her
he really wants her for a mission to find this guy called lew carrol and other fake names who works with high rank crooks to find their stolen cash from their own men
i'm shocked that drug dealers can't be trusted
i mean if you cant rely on guys who sell poison to school children, who can you trust?!
j k is retiring in 7 weeks and wants her to find him and get his secrets
so ben goes home and eats on his 1 set of plates and in his bland home and runs a bar over his leg as he plays loud music and flashing lights to autisimize himslef
then flashback to nerd freaking out over his mom ditching em as she's had it wiith his sh-t
if my kid was ben affleck, i;d put him under the lawn mower!
his dad hugs him as he recounts the tale of solomon grundy and the in present day ben takkes his autsim pills
then does math as he tests a hyyge a55 sniper rifle on cantolouspes a mile away on the cluple from b4's farm

later he gos to this trailer in some place and plays classical music and lays in bed looking at a cr-ppy painting on the ceiling
then we see ben in jail in a flashback talking to a decroded inmate and after lights out he knows all these addresses and names
decroder sez if he goes down this road he cant go back and needs 1 person to trust
he's getting into p0rn0!!
then a voice on da phone sez someones looking for him in this time zone
then benito goees to a frim that needs him to check their books and the guy in charge is p-ssed at bennifers autism
so benito is looking at amputees trying on fake limbs as john lithgow from hollow point and footloose talk about the fake limb biz and how john needs benny to  do whatever he needs to to fix the company
so this britmo gets in his car and a crook gets in da car with him and pulls a gun
he puts it up britmos a55 and pulls the trigger and he asplodes all over
really he wants brit o to do somethign and beats on him for not giving the answers he wants then leaves
da next dae benito comes in and this chick has the files for him and was the one who noticed the accounting issues
a guy at a comnfferiece sez something about money going to bad guys and 1st chick gets info on ben taking out nearly a dozen guys like its nothing in a crime lair
later work chick chats with benny about her dad and accounting things and he's just like all the stuff she jokes about
so ben goes through the  books and writes on the glass and 1st chick listens to audio taped of the crime guys getting iced and hears part of the grundy poem
benno finds the money is being sent through a company that dont exist and tells work chick and this hag comes in and sends work chick away and ben tells her the exact number jacked
later its night again and crook from car confornts a guy and tells him to suicide so his  wife acan get the insurance money and he wont have to b0ne and ice his woman
all cuz the guy jacked cash
then its day and benifer comes in and they are cleaning his text off the walls cuz the boss bit it and john lithgow knows it was on purpose and they are done with benifer
ben gets a bit f'd as he never finished the project and work chick wonders if they drove boss to suicide
when ben gets home his rhythem is off and he's off balance and cant get his game on with his autistic rituals
on da cpuples farm he flashbax to his dad training him and his bro as kids in fighting like he's batman or ikki and shun or something
then some crooks have taken farm fam hostage but ben snipers 1
the survior takes em on a truck ride at gunpoint and ben caps the truck, kicks open thew back window, pulls the guy out, and takes him dowm with a belt
he gets him in a lock and gets info on the guys boss (the 1st chick), fiinishes him and goes him wghile on speeker fone to wipe out this cover nane
he calls work chick but shes not answeringand he gets to her in time to save her from hit men
he takres her to his trailer and sez he can be out w/o a trace in 12 mins and all his important cr-p is there
1st chick gets the stuff processed and fuinds the guy who whacked the mob guys is probably autistic and looks up bens alieases and finds they all were famous guys woth autism or math nerds
wait, i f'd up. the name in the belt guys thing was the work chick he was sent to ice next, not his employer
1st chick sees a guy about searching for beenito using stats like cash and white male with brown hair
so every guy in holly wood starring roles?
probably shauia lebeuf. he's  gone kinda nuts from all the chronic he did as a kid
so benny tells work chick he was trained by his military dad and hes got high functioning autism
she tells him a stpry of buying a 1700 $ vera wang drws and got it playing black jack (not the osamu tezuka characyer) and counted cards or w/e
she wanted to belong and be cool and  thinks we all wanna do da dame
so she lost all her cash but put a nickle in a slot and won 2000$ and used da extra cash for a limo
so instead of kissing her, he realizes that the guy behind the company thing was stealing his own money and investing it in the company to boost its stock
but why ddid da hag ask him to czech da boox?
find out today! on dragon ball z!
so ben 10 goes rambo or commando or the guy jean claude was in that movie andfinds the hag with a bullet in her head and a photographe of her and lithgow
so 1st chick figgers out beens real identry as hes been laundering his cash through small businesses in some city, i think soviet chicago, and gives most of his cash away
then we get a flashback of dad telling him and bro to be loyal and not victims
oh its advice to deal with bullys who were f ing with em
kid ben goes out and fights em and brother helps
dad sez benny is different that that scares peoplwe and in moden day he leaves a note for work chick and goes out
so j k and 1st chick go to bens place and hes not there and they find a big a55 gun and lots of security
chick tells j k of her crime of force feeding a drug dealer blow, beating im half dead and leaving him to cook in a car for 3 days
he lives but shhe saved her sister who was getting drugs from him
j k sez his past of being at the mob hit that benny did but en spared him with a gun at his head after he sez hes a good dad
daredeviil spares j johan jamison
turns out the decrode guy was a book cooker for the mob but went to jail and was gonna testofy against the mb when they tried to ice him
but the mob got him when he went outas jail and mutilated him dead
so thats why ben iced them
later, phone voice called j k and tpped him of a shipment in soviet new york
after ben found out decrode talker got it, ben busted a guards skull with a thermos and escaped
ben was in jail after he spazed out at a funeral and a cop pulls a gun and bens dad gets capped
and now when crooks go against bens moral code, his phone friend outs em to da cops
and now h k wants chick to be his replacement
and phone voice calls chick and tells em of the company lthgow has
so ben 10 snipers te bad guys at their base and takes a few out and car crook is there
then goes in with a machine gun and shreds some guys as car crook watches on camera
oh and lithgow is there
so benito goes in and takes out more guys like hes captain america (and just as commie as the disney actor) and takes out 1 guy by putting a grenade in the guys bullet proof vest and holding him til he pops
ben took a  legshot and f it! my tv box updated w/o my consent and has to load
so ben does his grundy rhyme and a guy there is his long lost brother like in battle arena toshinden or riki-oh and bro is normakl and is p-ssed that ben and dad went to the moms service and they fight
ben lets bro beat on his empty head and eventually easily beats him down and pulls a gun on him, but bax off
they reconsile and ben sez he knew where brobwas but didnt wanna contact him as his clients are dangerous
lithgow coes out saying his company could do a lot of good and make cash and ben just blows a hole in his skull with 1 shot
is this cain and abel or david and goliath?
maybe jacob and esau as they forgave eachother
so then we see a prss conference where they go oner the attack on lithgows home and some guys had anti aircradft hits on em and chick is there and sez it was a team effort
then at the place where ben went to learn ghuman actions, this fam talks with a guy about their autistic kid
kid goes through it and sees all these autistic kids and their kid finds a room with the spazzy girl from b4 grown up
her room has the puzzle ben did as a kid, framed, and she's spazzing out and she cant talk but uses a computer to comminicvate
the place is funded by private donorrs and shes the head guy theres daughter and she uses her comp to show shes the fone voice
work chick sets up her home and fies the damage done by ben afflekx fight and gets the painting ben had that he didnt wanna sell
also ben is driving his trailer around the coubtry
the end
that was not bad for a ben affleck flick
good fight sscenes, good feels, good flow
it doesnt drag but its kinda long
ben affleck is good at not showing emotion
good story and twists
it comes together well
i liked it
its sorta like a realistic hero movie
for the accontant 2 i want ben to be reeling from his not being able to complete a job and gradually goes more insane and taking out more people. also its revealed thatthe jobs he was cancelled from were ghired and ended b4 ending by a criminal group that wants him out so they can catch him and reverse engeneer his brain to make an army of autistic supersoldiers. also its a 64 bit ds and psp game where you play as him and go around beating guys up and caping em to complete missions and fight your way through various gang guys.

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