Thursday, February 4, 2021

Masters Of The Universe Review

Note: I spell manly!

Masters of the Universe

Thisw is my review on masters of the universe from,1987 (The year me and Tim Tebow and the fat chick from Degrassi Next Gen was born)

it stars dolph lundgren, frak langella from Brainscan, Chelsea Field from Commando, Billy Barty from Bride of Franbkenstein, Courteney Cox from Scream, 1-4, Meg Foster from Hercules and Xena, James Tolkan  frpom back to the future, and no one else ni'm aware of

its direcded by Gary Goddard who did Jurassic Park: The Ride  andf T2 3-D: Battle Across Time

its based on the He Man series and a lot of reviewers hated it, but 80s kids loved it

kindfa like the Digimon Movie or Transfrtomers movies

dolph didn't like being in this as he pl;ays a toy but frank loved being skeleton and did it cuz his son loved He manbb and went all out in here

i recall seeing a bit on tv at my grandma's place in the 90s but other tahn rfeviews online i hasnty seen this

i never really saw He Man as a 90s kid but watched the ep with the blind kid on youtube and thoguht it weas nice

Thanks to the Awesome President Reagan, he appointed a guy to the FCC who liked Deregulation and cutr thje red tape that kept kids shows from being made off toys

So He Man was the 1st kids show based on a toy and it blew minds

In soviet england they didn';t allow he man toys adds during the show

But 80s kids and 90s kids had the best shows, even if they were half hour toy things

I loved Beast Wars and Power Rangers and Spider Man The 9s show and Pokemon and Yugioh

Yet a lot of malcontent 80s kids wound up hated Mr Reagan over stuff the losers in the media said about him

He beat the soviets you dinks!!

Btw they were gonna make a sequel but after it got cancelled they used the script and props made for it to make the Jean Claude Van Damme movie Cyborg

This movie was rated PG but was 15 in soviet denmark and norway and 12+ in west germany and finland

Once in the 90s my babysitter said she named her Nidoran Male and Femal He Man and She Ra and I didn';ty  know who that wasx.

aparently the script was based on jack kirby comics and they tried to get jack in here to work on designs

and this film, along with super man 4, caused cannon films to f--k out

so it starts with credits and narrator sez castle grayskull is the centrer of trhe universe and has the power that can be used for good or evil to be

master of the universe

good art on castle greysukll

then epic music and credits in space

then eternia and skeletor nin his conan like base being fiulld in on stull by ebvil lyn

hes captured the sorceress and she sez he man is still aliveso he drains some ki from her or w/e

he sends a hologram to eternia that he's won and to bow tro him or die

then he man is there watching and takes ouyt skeletors robot troops

he even does the sword blocking lasers thing from the show

man at arms and teela meet him and they save this gnome thing whos an inventor

we dont get orko but we get this

he brings them to his hobbit hole and sez skeletor wantgs him as he made some super invention that he callls the cosm,ic key

it can open a gate to anywhere and skeletor has one of em from evbil lyn tricking him

he man wants to use it to free the sorceress but gnome sez if they do, skeletor will find em

then skelots trpoops come in and they escape to the caves under greyskull

so they sneak intio greyskull and the area looks good.

now it woiiuyld all be cg but it looks real and cool

they get to da sorceress and evil lyn and get robots copme in

btw, the bad guy having won and heroes fighting bCK WAS DONE IN THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE

SO SKKERLETOR IS THERE AND will drain her ki until syhe bites it and evil lyn notioces the gnome aand a laser battle breaks out

gnome opens the gate and they escape in it with sorceress saying they have until moonrise to save her and escape into it

skelewton wnts to go after em even though he'sd pretty much won and if he keeps draining the sorceress they can't stop him

the he wariors show up on some planet and dont know where they are as gnome hit random buttons to get there and they cant find where the key went

thery come across a native of the planet; sa fat a55 cow

man at arms organizes em and they gotta find the key and save the sorveress b4 moonrrise (What IS that?!)

btw, them escaping a losing fight and going to another bplanet to regroup was used in dbgt when vegeta told his fam to do that when he fights the ultimate evil dragon

mean while, courtny chats with her co woerklers about moving away and not wanting to be with her bf

in a car she cchats with bf and he wants her to stay and man at arms and teela find her job, a chicken place

therry see a couple makjking out in a car and gnome jacks theriir chicken and eats it

teela and mat an aroims join in ad teela is disturbed that shes eating an annimal

at the graveyard, c c sez bye to her rents who bit it in a plane crash cuz she did something

totally not ripped off by jumanja

then they find the CosMc key and he thinmks itsa a synthesizer from Japan

on eternia, evoil lynn finds the cosmnc key was activated annd nexyt time, they can lock in on it

so bf ttrys it again later and evil lynn finds em and sends 4 guys,m including beast man, after he man ot bring him back alive

so bf goes opff and leaves cc alone and skletors men come in(holy cr-p! i spelled skeletor right! i was mashing buttomns! i rolled a 20)

they beat a GUY UP AND chase cc and she runs out and runs into he man and he comforts her

they hide and he gives her a laser gun and he goes out and takes oput robopt soldiers

cc takes a robot out and he man fights hairless guy with 1 eye (which is weird as in cyborg, a guy lost an eye)

after beating them, they run of and teela and man at arms coime in

meanwehile, bf takes the cocsim key to an electronix shop and it makes holocrams and firetrux go by

eceleinsix shop guy uses a police scanner to hear the school burned down and he man tells cc about the cocsim key and she sez her bf has it

bf goes to the school which i guess just lets tenens stray at night and hairless guy from back to the future is a cop there and grills him and tajkes him to look for cc

so the he warriors meet gnome whoi got a car and upgraded it with his tech somehow

evil lynn seems to be in love wothj skeletor and he has no interest in her

nowaydays they'd be b0ning

so the 4 guys sent came back and report thewy failed and skeleotr evaporates one of em

skleetor sends evil lynn with the remaining 3 and cop goes to cc's place and cc calls

he fakes it not being her and lets her know he still has the cosmic thing

cop dont buy it and f--ks with the cosmic key and figgers its not a synthesizer

on urth evil lynn an dfriends come on and she uses an item to see the past fight where he man fought the guys

cop presses the red button and it does the holograms and evil lynn detex it

the bf turns on the microwave and it jams the scanning and she blkows it

bf tells cvop he found it by the grave yard and cop takes the item and sez theres an apb for cc

bf is later cleaning up and beast man busts in and cateches him and evil lynn puts a mind control coller on him and he reveals whwere the thing is

is this some kinda sm movie?@

they leave in a flying tjhing to go after da cop and the he warriors arrive and find him

man at arms removes his collar and he freaks outr seeing them but cc sez they gotta find the thing

he tells em to go to da music store and at there, cop asks store guy if its soviet

he man and friends show up and co pulls a gun and teela knox the gun away and gnomer pyle sez evil lynns gfuys are comming

gnome sets the device and robots come in and the good guys laser blast em

teela tells bdf to notlet cop out and gives him a lazer and goes out to fight

cop wants bf to give him the gun and threatens him with jail and grapples with him

cc sees i think her mom and goes out to meet her ands sdez she dissappeared to do secrtet work and sez she needs the item

gnome firews the gun to make the cop bfg fight and cc jacks the itema dn brigns it to mom

mom turns out to be evil lkynbn and eacapes with it and the baddz retreat

the he warriors escape and cop gets the store shotgun and his car blows like in the 2014 robopcop movie but he';s not harmed

evil lynn opens the gate and skeloter coomes throught with robnotess on hoobgoblin gliders like in spooider man

skewlotr sends him gliders to find he man and he man and crew fight em off with lazers

he man gets a glider and gets back the device from evil lynn

skeletor catches the he wearriors and when he man swpoops in, skel;etor zaps at him with purple lighteneing

cc gets her leg cooked and he man fiughts the robots with a sword

skeletor has he mans friends hostage and wants he man to be his slave(is this where riki-oh got it?) and he consents

so he man is caught nand they let the friends go sand go back to eternia and the item is f'd so they cant get back

also cc is poisdioned by the lightening attack somehow and the music to get them back to eternia werte erased by skeleton

bf remembers the song needed to get em back and bf has doubts but they give him a prep talk andhe consentys

oh and only the sorceress can save cc

so on eternia, skeletor  brings he man in wearing less andthe sorceress ius decroded

skeletor gets he mans sword anmd puts it in a tthing and is gonna make he man kneel tohim berfore all of eternia

then 1 eye gives he man the whip, which prrobably gave a lot of kids fetishes

so bf gets a keyuboard for gnomeo to doio the thiung and cc tells bf she loves him

btw, the mentor mystic being decrodeds as the gpood guysgo on a quest was used by the power rangers movie

on etewreivcA skeletor gets the power and wants he man to kneel like in mulkan but not as bad

then skeletonr digivolves into a godlky golden forme but noit totally gay like freeza in db super and has lazer eyes blasasting he man

on urth tthe good guys get the itemn working and telepport to eterniaandd cop is with em

a laser fight breaks out and he man breaks out by geting sleletors ligfhtening aTTACK TO BUST HIS CHAIUNS

ewliv luynn retrerats and gets the sowrd back and fights skeletor and its got cool light effects that if animated in the 80s woul;d look like devilman or inhumanoids

he man beats skeleotr and his goolfden form turnmms off but they keep fighting like in dbz resurrection f and he man drops skllekton in a pit

so the csorceress undecrodes and cop is gonna stay on eternia with some blonde chick

sorceress gives cc an item and cc sez bye to everyone like its the wizard oif oz and gnomeingus sends cc and bf back

so cc wakes up in her bedroom and her rens are alive like f--king jumanji

she tells her rents not to go on the plane thing and meets bf who also remembers their adventure

then we see he man in front of castle greyskull saying he has the power and credits roll to epic music

adr mixer bob baron, like robert v barron from robotech?!

then after the credits skleetor comes out of the water and sez; i';ll be back

the end

that was fun

good 80s pg adventure and cheese and action

great music and good effects that would all be cg now

the gnome would be cg nowadays and all the backgrouinds would be greenscreened

i liked it and its a nice way of dopoing he man

btw, as they got sent back in time, doesn';t that mean cop in that timeline never went top eternia and he's still on eartyh but nalso eretnia?

its got good feels and its enjoyable

yeah its a cheesy 80s film, but it works

and only dolph lundgren coould do he man as hes th biggest bufdfest blonde

besides hulk hogan but he's got the moustache

this movie is cool and if you grew up from the late 80s or early 90s, this film is a good throwback

i never got into he man and still liked it

imagine if they made a thuindercats movie in the 80s?

for masters of the universe 2, i want it to be about a trime problem caused by them sending the couple back in time and causing a split time line like in ecco the dolphin. this needs he man and friends to find this magic jewel to fix the time lline and prevent the 2 timelines from destroying each other. also he has to go through the time dimension and fight time warriors, which are historical based things like pirates and samurai and he has too fight through several time zones to get the time jewels pieces to fix things as time comes apart. also its a 16 bity action game like pirates of dark water on sega genesis, snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba where you play as he man and fight various time things.

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