Note: I spell facely good
The False Faces
Thids is my reviewe on The False Faces from the distant future year to Yagyu Jubei of 1919 (90 yeasrs before the 1st robotech war)
Its directed by Irvin Willat who did nothing i knew of
It stars Henry B. Walthall from Judith of Bethulia/The Avenging Conscience/The Birth Of A ation/The Scarlet Letter/Wings(ah gay!!!)/Abraham Lincoln/The Devil-Doll, Lon Chaney from The Unholy Three (both versions)/West of Zanzibar/Laugh, Clown, Laugh/Mockery/The Unknown/Mr. Wu/The Blackbird//The Phantom of the Opera/The Monster/He Who Gets Slapped/The Hunchback of Notre Dame/The Shock/Oliver Twist/Flesh and Blood/The Ace of Hearts/The Penalty/The Wicked Darling/Outside The Law, Mary Anderson from Cheers for miss bishop/Gone with the Wind, and some 1800s guys i never heard of
I never saw this b4 but its based on a bok by Louis Joseph Vance
so after a few title cards and things its called the further adventures of the lone wolf
a quote sez no man is justified in surrendering when love and life are out and then the title
so its the western front with civilization fighting a blood crazed king and his wold hordes
oh its ww1 and while they are probably meaning the Kaiser, I think the king was worse with his daemon worship and dark occultism
or are those yugioh cards?
so spotlights look for survivors and on the soviet brittish front they are by a nbo mans land
in the pc game bio menace or w/e was a lebvel called no mans land that i recall
so this guy is crawling in the ground and avoids the spotlight finding him as the battle goes on and then some soldiers come out of the trench and rush
the crawling guy stops when the light is on him and biullets come by him and evantually he gets past the barb wire(nnot the pam anderson moviue) and mewdics are on the move
1 guy escapes the barb wire and ohhhhh i thinbk its a frenchie! and gets to the britys side and they're cockney!
he sez hes escaped from enemy trenches and they think bnes a derserter but he reveals hes American and has good info for the commander
the evolitionarily challenged brits bring him and the commander looks a lot ike joe stalin who recognisses his voice
crawler dont give his name yet and in a table place he sez he';;s michael; lanyard and not stalin recognizxers him as the lone wolf whos a theif who not stalin was chasing as a secret ser vive guy chasing him over europe
its revenaled a guy called elesrom or something, is still alive, but the words are cr-ppy film quality as this was made back when we had civil war surivors
the crawling guy whos the lone wolf reveals he was exiled to belguim and lived with his sister who raised her kid
ekstrom attacked with blonde german warriors in the war and ekstrom is lon chaney and was paret of the partisans in the underworld and had wolf taken off as he and huis menwent in the sisters place
he coems back to find her and her son iced and the house smoking and i think in the real version he b0ned em dead
this movie is racist against germans. although if they REALLY wanted to make em look bad, why not make em cannibals? at least there we got the brothers grimm and that guy who invited a butt buddy over for dinner
but i thinkl the Best German is Eric Carle who made The Very Hungry VCaterpillar and despiter a rpough time, stayed positive and pure
honorabl emntion to Uwe Boll as Postal is the 2nd funniest movie I've nseenb, with number 1 being The Human Centipede 03
so not wolf went after the lon chaney germanand joined the German Secret serv cie under a fake name and found lon shaney is going to America and needs not stalins hjelp[
so they go across the atlantic rimin a boat and try to avoid German Boats and wolf is under a fake name
this chick names cecelia brooke is there who he;'s probably gonna fall uin love with, a wounded liirtnenet of ww1 and mr crane of the u s sescret serive
lon is on board in disguise to get brit docs for america and 1 guy tries to get into a door or locker nimbere 27
2 boat guys plan to sound the subbmarine aleart and main guy the wolf is in his room and someones turning the knob slowly
he turns out the lights and gets hius firearm but the boat guys sound the sub aleart and cvsall all passegnders on deck
in da chaos, the 27 door is open and it turns out the sub aleart was nothing there and the guys return to their rooms
wolf asks chick why she tried his door and she sez her door wasnt locked or bolted and one cant be too careful these days
she was in room 27 and he goes to his room number 29 but finds her in the door conmnecting them and sez someone f'd her rooom and took a jewel box from her bag
he finds it and her jewels are there and the box was in wolfs room
he sez someone planted em to frame him as the theif didnt find what he wanted and they ahve a common foe
they decide to team up ike batamn and superman in the 90s superman cartoon the worlds finest
so its the 4th day at sea and hessees her with wounded guy and then gets in a fight with a guy attacking her buyt the guy pulls a knife and after gettign nailed, therows it and runs off
it pins her dress to the wall and she sees the wounded guy is f'd and she dont wanna get a dr so they take him to his room and he stands guyard as she gets nbandids
evantually he goes out and sees her at the knife fight place getting something and he gets back b4 her and sez wounded guy needs a surgeon
she sez to wait and gives him a cigarette and sez if hes caught with it it might be his end and he accepts
she lets him out under darkness of turned off lights and tends to wounded guy and wolf in his room hides the smoke in i think a needle fort injecting heroin or cocainum
theres a fake suimmon to come to deck and he sez to tell the dr hes comming
a hgerman sub is near and as wolf goes to turn on the light, a germnan gets him at gunpoiunt and another covers hius eyes with a cloth
they want the cylinder and search his clothes but not his a55 as this is the 1910s and guys dont use a suitcase as prison lingo sez
they tie him up and check his cr-p and say he has 2 mins to tell where it is and he slips out of his bondage and slaps the guys gun and fiught him
the other guy gets the cylinder i thiunk and cap his partner as he weants all the reward and escapes but main guy chases across trhe boat
this is like sonic 2 with the flying base
so he catc hes the guy but is grabbed from behind by a 3rd man and beat out
then a sub is seen and the guy thgrows wolfd overboard and comes to the german sub and is helped by them
wait im not sure theyre german and wait, they say an american destroyer is coming and wolf sez hes in the kaisers secert service and is taken onboard
at new englands coast he's still on the sub and i think this is where the 90s robotech return to macross comics got it from
they are by marthas vineyard and they say they are celebrating the sinking of the boat he was on and he claims to be a dr and hsi papers are on thr ship
he claims to have let off a flare ion the boat and the captain sez if he is lying hes ice
1 shipman is a prussian and is hated by the bavarian captain and sez wolf cant leave the boat
he looks around when other saare out and finds 5000 US Dollaers and later prussian comes in and has a drink
prussian sez captain is hauinted by those he iced in the war and is the one who fired the torpedo on the lusitania
although i hear the brits had a hand in it as they wanted america to save them from the germans
so captain drinks and sees hallusinations of those he iced in the wearand we see them out the window in water and rotted and ghosts in front of him
he fires his gun at one and a living guy behind the door falls and has a note saying something about lon chaney and wolfs cove name but its in cr-ppy handwriting
he races back and finds prussian drinking with wolf and sez to report for beign friends with the endmy and prussian cant take captains sh-t and caps him
what is he? Starscream?!
so he sez somethign i cant read as the video quailty is a55 and has a drinkand goes off all f'd out
wolf checks trhge body and finds the note and he realizes that its ln chany as the guy on the boat who gave the signal in disguise
prussiann comes back and says something ic ant read and has another drink andf spazzes out and bites it from his heart giving out from the stress and booze
alcohol kills more than aids, so iuf yoiu wanna live, yoiu better get the aids
so he gets out ioof da boat wthrough a door in the floor and takes a row boat out and the sub sinks and i think takes its crew with it
then its socviet new york and wopunded guy and chcik are alive somehow and think the cylinder is sunk and wolf goes to his lair in new sodom new york
in the lons lair in a hotel he does stuiff and in wolfs lair he reads the paper saying the sunk ship had surviuvors znd chick was one of em
he calls her hgotel and wtrityes something and wait its the receptionist or operator writing something
lon has the cylinder and hides it in a smoke and puts on a big hat and goes out
at the brits secret serv ic e place in new york, wait, why?! this isnt soviet england! its America!@ We kicked their candya55 in 1776! what next? a Japan base in pearl harbor?!
so wolf gores there and so does lon and wolf is told to coem back at 9 am to see the coloniel
hes sent out and realizes that someone is impersonating him and sneaks aroudn and loos in awindow
yes cuz the sec ret ser vine has windows in meeting rooms anyone can peek in
in the troom is a painbting of what looks like a daemon faced man with a big toothed open mouth and half the face shadoweed over
or maybe its cr-ppy picture qulity as this was out in ww1
so he sees the lon meeting the guy and llon is given the combo to the safe and is told to see da colonel at 12 pm no am and goes off
wolf was in the room by the curtains as there sno secutiry in brittishness and has a taxi follow lons tai
it rams another car andnis stopped for a bit but goes on and i think he makes it to the pplace lon was
at a meeting lon talkk with guy s about how the wolf got the paper and sank with the paper and 1 sez the wolf might still live
lon almost smokes but stops and sez he'd do anything to find the cylinder
main guy the wolfd is lurking aorund and lon goes out and the colonel is told that the wolf will meet him at 12
wolf gets past the giuards and hides in the curtains as the prits are cr-p at secutiry and lon meets the colonel and shows his passports from wolf
lon gives the cylinder and wants 10 000 $ as a reward or he'd sell it to the germans
you know they can wack you and say "it was for the regent" for hiunting you can give it to the Kaiser
they pay him and he goes and colonel dont trust hima nd goes
butler checks the safe and gets something and goes and main guy wolf goes in da safe and is tempted to take the jewels but only takes the cylinder
he puts the other cr-p backj and lon comes ina d checks the safe and when a guard comes in, lon capps him
wolf catches lon and lon reognizes him and long slugs hinm outand runs but llon gets away too
wolf returns to his hotel and chick comes by to see him but is told to wait in his apartment
lon and gang are in there and captuyre her and tie up his swervant and leave and when wolf gets backm hes told by servant what happened
so at lns lai they driink and tie up the chick as main guy claimbs a craine and swings across on a rope to the building to get past secrutity
he sneaks aorund and as long is gonna b0ne the chick, wolf gets her i mean him at gunpojnt and takes his guns i think
instead of gibing him 2 in the head, olf fights hima s lon sez he's not arfaid of an unarmed man, and they beat on each otherfor a while and throw items as chick watches and probably finds it hot like normal guys and cat fights
she gets a gun ad lon is beat out and lons droogs hear theviolence and come to da door and start chopping it with an axe
wolf blackens lons face witn fireplace soot and soaks lon with water to wake him upp
as he gets up, his men see him standing there with a gun and shred him with bullets and wolf and chcik escape as the goonss atre looiong at lon
they escape to the brit base and reveal the truth and send the brits in to attack the germans in there
in a taxi, wolf and chick ride in the back seat and she wants the culinder but he sez wait
he reveals lon throw him overboard and took it and he thinks theres something going on at colonels office
at the brit base they are photographin fingerprints and think chick did something
chick and wolf come in and sez lon sod him a cylinder that was stolen and lon was iced in the raid and wolf gives him the noney
he reveals the fountaiin pen had the cylinder and the butler was a spy and goes but 1st says bye to chcik who reveals her brother is the wounded guy
she knew the whole time he was the lone wolf and he seems to want to be her butt buddy
the end
Oh and the copyright thing on iit sez 1918,. so that explains the WW1 themes
I liked this, Lon shows good evil but isn't in much of it
good editing and filming and twists in the story
nice aCTING and wrioting
cool effects and style
i liked it and it holds up pretty welleven tthough it was made for a WW1 Audience
Fore False Faces 2 I want the germans to unleash a new style of armor that runs on magnets and draws bullets to armor plates so thwy ae invincible, but turns off whehn they wasmnna fire back. Also The Lone Wolf is sent to germany to get the plans for it, but finds by living amnong the Germans, that they are not the bad guys and are trying to stop the evil brits from crushing em for going againsat their lusty king, So The Long Wolf has to choose to do whats right or not, Also its an 8 bit Point And Click Game like thaT 8 Bit P_hantaASY sTar game but on Sega Master System, Game Gear,NES, Gamwe Boy,m TG16, Atari Jaguar I mean Lybnnx and 7800 and you go around talking to people to get the plans, but can choosde to side with england or Germany
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