The Cutting Edge Review

Note: I spell like the edge of sanity

The Cutting Edge

this is my review on The Cutting Edge from the distant furute year to yul Brynner of 1992 (30 years befoe Rbotech II The Sentinels)

Its dirced by Paul Michael Glaser who did The Running Man/Kazaam2 ens of Judging Amy

It stars D. B. Sweeney from Spawn/Disney'sDinosaur/Hardball/Taken 2/Atlas Shrugged: Part II/the 00s The Outer Limits/Two and a Half Men/Phineas and Ferb/B Positive, Moira Kelly from The Lion King/The Lion King II: Simba's Pride/The Lion King 1½/The West Wing/the 00sThe Twilight Zone/Law & Order/Numb3rs/Drop Dead Diva, Roy Dotrice from Amadeus/Suburban Commando/Sliders/Batman: The Animated Series/90s Spider-Man, Terry O'Quinn from The West Wing/Law & Order: Criminal Intent/Masters of Science Fiction/Heaven's Gate, Dwier Brown from Field of Dreams/Quantum Leap/Dennis the Menace Strikes Again/Red Dragon, Michael Hogan from the 00s The Day the Earth Stood Still/Sonic the Hedgehog 1/The Littlest Hobo/the 90s The Outer Limits/Robot Chicken/Numb3rs/Arctic Air/Zoo, and most people in it ain't on bak door, soy boy, aids bag, banana crammer, Sodom bottom, cripple nipple, weener cleaner, stoner b0ner, gender offender, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plants Wikipedia that is wrong and proud

I never saw this but it had a few sequels that i also never saw

after crediys and title this guy wakes p late for the Olympics and the bimbo he's with put the alarm at the wrong time, but he dont recall her name

then its the figure skating and this chik is b==chy and when coach sez he wants her a55 in th air she lifts her minikirt and shows blue undies

later she's b--chy at her dad and alks off but bumps into main guy and shes b--chy to him

then its the hockey game vs west Germany and main guy scores but gets nailed abd his helme falls off

i like the filming, its like tha prom night movie or something with a bit of filter or haze you see in th e 80s and tart of the 90s

then we get figure skating for real as the last bt was training and she gets slammed on the ice to the fighting foodons theme and everyie takes photos

aftr the event hockey guy lost 18 degrees of vision and he thinks thers treatment but is told his hockey career is fd

2 years later w se a facory with a lot of smoke and gray skies and he works there

he goes to a sports bar and his brother wants his help to bartend for him buthe has a barn league game

bro has a letter fro de toilet red wings saying sorry for his dead eye and he goes mental but cools off and sits loking at it

then we see main chick spinning like a Beyblade or drill and outdoing her partner she cans and she's had 8 partners but shes too b--chy for em ad they arealmost outta partners

her da or ait its a soviet coach coming to main guy and hes glad to get hockey but is given figure skates

hes taken to a house to epic music in a limo and we see main chick practicing and they don't get along with her being b==chy and not wanting him

he walks off but soviet coach sezthey need 2 to pair and tey do figger skaetingpractice as she b--ches at him

he falls after accidentally hitting the toe picks and theyhave him lit her bt when he is told its over she b--ches to put her down and she's dropped on her b-c f==k a55

dad talks with main guy and sez he saw him in the 88 olymics and writes a check for main guy and the other skaters she paired with didn't cut it

main guy sez double or nothing after throwing a criumrd paper in the metal jar and then we see main guy got the part

so they skate and inselt each other over him being a devolved cave man and her being b--chy

then a montage to early 90s black mysic of him falling and later hes in undies and a wife beater with ice on his hips

afterhockey skate erring and scoring goals he talks of how he didn't read and mainly di hockey but she reveals she had tutors not college

then they play hockey and he tumps her with his bada55 skills as we see silhoutertes like flash dance and to country music

she cant take it and slaps the puck at him in a berserk fury and he's in the hospital and she blames him for him like mos feminists when they wrong a man

soviet coach sez shes afraid cuz she found a partner and he comes out with bandages on im fce but is faking, but she as worried

then another montage and this is turning into heavenly bodies fro the 80s with the dancercze club hats mostly dancing to 80s music

then more training to musi and 1 of her in neon spandex

he gets up at 6 30 and she been training for a while and hes doing better i sme ways but still falls

later hes being massagxsd by soviet coach and sez he thinks she dont like skating

he cmes in to a room and ses naked and gets b--chy but puts on a towel and he got her a jersey but dont get it cuz she dont do hockey  and he sez its boddy halls game sweater and its for xmas

this is like April O'Neil and Casey Joney in the 00s TMNT and hegts Great Expectations the book

then its a paty an chick has a bf and he finds her trophy room ith her moms photos and shes happy in em

he likes the book andoffers he champaign andshe dont drink and shows her bf who seems to care for her

its a new years party and main guy smooches paty blondes and a blonde geezer but he meetmain chick and smooches his cheek

later its day and she talks to him of him leaving for he weekend and she sez how he tookdown the mirrors in the room and put a picture of himself snelling the ice

he sez she'd like skating more if she liked it and they bicker lighter of it andif hes inviting his fam and he sez he will and she has a hotel fir em for the nationals

he goes back to da sports bar andsmoocheschicks and brother sez he was with the merchant marines but he gradualy reveals he got into figure skatin and everyone thinkscr-ppy of him

he tals his brother he can go to nationals and brother thinks its cr-p and he's queer and okes of maing him shave his legs

ata cotume hitting this girly man thins ofhee to put a sash and he rips it off

they bicker over what music to use and bf cmes in cuz hes gt a meetin in the AM

she gets b--chy at main guy going to bostonfor 2 days to b0ne chics and we see another montage of them trainig

at a dinner thy seem confident and bf sez hes gonna marry main chick and main guy seems ungood with it

then a Disney like love songof chick skating on her own, more like don blut

a guy comes y andsz he thought she retired and he was her last cpach i the past i think and dont want her humiliated and tha hockey player is cr-y and she cant truat artnrs

she sticks up for main gy who comes n and sez no ring on the ice as it cuts his hand

at natuonals they have a frooy male figger sater interested in main guy and his female partner they probably talk about guys together

i thin gayboys chick opartnr meets main guy andits implied they b0ned and they meet chic and bf and chick gets b--chy for a while

bf sees shes into main guy and she denies it and sends him to boston

then its the contest and they eat poffins t boost skills, wait thats pkemon

main guy looks nerous and goes to pukebut its offscreen and would e funnier if he barfed on a guy, or in a guys butt! blaaaaaahhh

she gives himfocus as he gets nevous b4 a game and they go on but he sez it takes 10 mins to relax but they thing they do is 2 mins

they skate to music and e don't see their faces diring the moves and they come in third place after round 1

the top 2 go to the olumics and the frooty boy goes on and gets perfect so only 1 of the others will join him

main couple does well but gets bad marks by judges and main guy sz its horse sh-t

to quote Wikipedia, horse sh-t is an acceptable substitute for bull sh-t but chicken sh-t implies cowardice and bat sh-t is insanity, t say smething is the sh-t mplies coolness but to say it is sh-t is th ppposite

so the remanibg tam goes n and does a erman thing anf'd up so main team goes in

they celebate by going to a bar and she does shots to80s music

they go back to th hotel room ans she is drunk and seems o wanna b0ne him but he sez its not right but she sez her bf left

he sez "not like this" and she gets b--chy at being tured down and calls him a prood and he's lousey as a date and he leaves

the door opens and 4 big blak guys come in and say "its bumming time!"

jk really its the sad part ad this chick i think, yeah its the girl he met 4 and might not be the booty boys patner comes in to b0ne

in the aylight she locks herself out and goes ti main uy to get the key but ohe chick gets the door and main guy sez "ask for more towels" as i guess they made a mess of the place with all their gender fluids

she gets b--chy at him and they fight and she was b-chy at him for a year and a -half since they met

at the rnk soviet coach sez theres a new poer couple from the ussr or something and the only way tobeat em is this move he made that she thinks is impossible and wont do it

msin guy sez he can and she dont lik being told what she cant do andwe getta montage to dramatic music like an 80s/90s game boss last dungeon music

hes swinging her by the skates and she f'd her arm beibg slammed on the ice and in her room dad comes by her looing at photos of mom

dad sez mom wanted to get in the Olympics and theres a trophy spot for the Olympic gold and she wants to go o but he sez ret

main gu atches the fighting foodons last Olympics and then ts this ol7mpics and i tin gayboys partnetr is his butt buddy and main chick is butthurt

at the game she ants him to button the thing but it restricts him and they go on and he refusesbut demands like amazon not bowing to unionits

they perform and theres no synchro and they get cr-ppy scores andddidnt have fun

she sez they aint doing the move and the couple bicker and main gy fghts with dad and sez its the chicks fault

she admits shes a b--ch and ruined it and wishes she could start er and dad would love her win or lose and she's sorry and goes off

dad understands and pulls a nife and gets het in the head and she wakes up as a kid and dad says "wake up dear, its a nice day to skate

jk really we get bummer music and them looking bummed and later chick is gonna skip town and is retuiring and the house is paid for 2 weeks and has given up and d sez he' do well with a better partnet

at the contest tey are gonna perform and the soviet power team performes and ssoviet coach sez to skate for the people like they skate b4 and enoy each other

main guy sez he fell in love wth her and i think this is gonna be like sailor oon wher they get the power of love to start a new day cuz shes got the power to win

she agrees to do the ultimate move and they go on to epic music

they do the movie but she screws up and smashes her head o  the ice and it spills her brains on it as he screams NOOOOOO and the scredits roll

jk really  he tthros her around i mean swings, then thros her and catches her and its good and she sez she had to cuz she loves him and they smooch as the music starts nd creits roll

then end

that was fun

i had some heart and some humor

good music and acting and the action was wel done

it tells a good story and the characters are memorable

theres a lot of montage and its got that 80s/90s filter

its a pretty fun film

kinda cheesy at times but enjoyanlr

For The Cutting Edge 2 I want them to be invited to a kung fu tournament on ice and have to train to learn kick boxing and nanto heron fist to slice through waves of gaijin caught on a nation and used as fuel for sport where the winner has to slice the most gaijin and unionites and commies caught and executed in this way to broadcast on underground cable channels. Also its a 16 bt beat en up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA were you play as the guy or girl or both and slice through IIIrd world punks and their union boss area bosses who are on roids from eating the workers who went against em