The Cook Review

Noye: I spell better than that german cannibal

The Cook

This is my review on The Cook from the distant furture year to Saint Rasputin of 1918(111 years before Robotech Season 2 and maybe Transformers Zone)

Its directed by Roscoe Arbuckle who needed better and directed Coney Island/Out West/The Bell Boy/The Garage/The Red Mill/Leap Year

It stara the 1t john Belushi/Chris Farley: Roscoe Arbuckle from The abel and Fatty's Married Life/Fatty and Mabel's Simple Life/The Butcher Boy/Coney Island/The Bell Boy/The Cook/The Sheriff/The Hayseed/The Garage/Knockout//Leap Year, Buster Keaton from Coney Island/he Scarecrow/The Frozen North/The Balloonatic/Our Hospitality/Sherlock Jr./Seven Chances/The General/he Cameraman/Sunset Boulevard/Around the World in 80 Days/The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn/It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World/The Twilight Zone/Steamboat Bill Jr/The Electric House/The Playhouse/Out West, Al St. John from The Knockout/Mabel and Fatty's Married Life/Coney Island/The Bell Boy/The Scarecrow/Out West, Alice Lake from Coney Island/Out West/The Bell Boy, Glen Cavender from Tillie's Punctured Romance/The Sheriff/The General and Luke the Dog from Coney Island/The Sheriff/The Garage/The Scarecrow.

I never saw this but wanted to review a movie b y Roscoe so this was up

It was thought to be lost but they found it in parts in 2 colections or w/e and they got it back

after title and creits we see roscoe in a kitcen of a restaurant and the fpood s-cked

he ges a big pive of meat and hops with a big blade like in a Jrpg

buster is tying to get this chick who don't want him and is thrown back in the kithen as roscoe swings his blade and gets his neck

the head falls off and busters body pucks it up and puts it bac on

jk really he's f--kin garlic jr an he tanks it w/o damage

roscoe lifts um by his head to see if it'll come off, as thats a wise move for a neck injury, and jerks his hed around

epic moustache boss brings buster's butt back to do waiter cr-p and he yells an order

roscoe gets a coffee and throws it for buster to catch as he walks in like some shaolin kung fu master which is probably where Jackie cha and jet li got it

look at thee guys. they're freekin ninja

coming soo, buster keaten vs Naruto

Maybe La Blue Girl

then Roscoe flips a pancake over his back and catces it behind him

buster bris coffee and has roscoe throw hot brown soup and he catches its bown

buster has a cloth brush this girl ans smoke cmes out as i guess she a demon then goes in kitches, gts thrown food and brings it

roscoe puts dough on a chair, a plate on it and steps on it, then in the pan it goes

buster orders food roscoe throws on a plate and chucks to buster who catches it and spins his arm keeping it facing up

roscoe runs dough in a rolle thng, snip it with scissors into a curcle and pans it the flips it around juggling in pans

more buster ordering food thats thrown and caught and this seems to be where Stuc On You with matt damon or w/e got it from

roscoe goes hackey ack moves with the food in the pan and 1 guy orders oasted ham and egg and a glass of milk as he don't wann be kosher

roscoe bounces egs like super balls and cracks em in the pan with throwing the shells in the all purpoe pot that he gets all the food/coffee/soup/cr-p from as i guess its an alchemic cauldron for transmuting any substance into another

then he p-sses milk out the anything goes pot and throws it and the meal which the buster catehes

in the restaurant is a harem girl dancer and an openly black musician

buster dancers with her and has good moes and got some kicks and flips

he goes in the kitchen dancing and roscoe dances too and purs a pt n his head and pans on his t-ts and distpan on his crotch andlon things as earings tofake being a chick but not like modern guys whocomitt p=niside

buster has  roscoe get food and he dances it up and throws it and buster dances out with the ice cream or w/e but gets 1 plate in a guys face an 1 down a girls back then thrown into a guys face

roscoe brings out an orderand wait its cups and dances around throwing em on the floor while in his woman cosplay

he goes back in the kitche ad gets a string of sausages dancing around ana cook puts a hicken or w/e on the floor as he dances like some daemonic ritual and i tink this is why THEY framed him

he wigs out, ets sausages in a frenzy and we cut to a guy in a chali chaplin hat dacing wth a girl but buster gives him a wine bottle

hatman busts it on his head and drinks from it then bites it and mashes it on busters head b4 shoving him back where hehits a guy who hits a guy who hiys roscoe  and soills a bowl of I think pus or spurm on him

buster fights hate hole and i mean hat mo and hides behin the black guy as light is absorbed not reflected from him, and hat man gets the gurl

moustache guy gets a knife and confronts hat man who takes it and cu off his b0ner I mean mostache and stuffs it in his mouth

imagine if it was a boning knife and he started b0ning him with it in da a55?

he throws him back in the kitchen like hes a cbick and dances with the girl then we see the dog biting hatmans a55 as roscoe pulls the dog and the hatful pigeon rns

the dog caes hm aound a building and he's doing well to ouyrun it but the dog turns around and chases the othe way

he climbs a ladder and the dog ollows and title cars sez spaghetti is like a tapeworm

we see the kitchen guys eatin spehfei and buster pus it in a cup, cuts off the sides and eats it out there, roscoe wraps it on 1 finger and eats it

bustere uses a fork and spups the etra off with scissors and roscore eats his tie, spits it out and mixes the noodles with an egg beater

1 guy eats big clumbs of it but buster scissors it off androscoe knits with it

2 guys gra spaghetti and have 1 noodle between their mouths o buster/roscoebut napkins on it like laundry b4 snipping it

1 guy uses a innel and roscoe puts sphhti in it and on da roof the hat guy is attacked by the dog and falls through the ceiling on the shaghetti and bounces on the rubber table

he springs off and the dog comes bak and he books it

later buster and i think moystache amputee are with the chivk and buter leaves with her to b0ne or w/e

roscoe purs an apron on his dog and his chef hat and gets ready to go hom

he takes off the dogs clothes as dressing up dogs turns em fruity andleaves with a long thing thats on the ceiling

at acarbnival or w/e the chick gets in a goat pulled crt but buter falls on his on soviet a55 as the cart goes off

he runs after and falls and i think rscoe s going in a goat pulled cart with the long pole or w/e ad fals over

theres a cop directing traffic and roscoe knocks him over with his poleand goes off to th beach and i think goes fishing with it at the shore wih the sun shining on the vast sea

he catches sometunb and flails around like an American soccer player trying to get a free kick

on the roller coaster the chick rides and hat gus is there and ses stuck on the top of the drp thing

hat guy gets out at the top and she runs on the roller coaster like a 90s video game like aero the acro bat or bubsy or spider man the animated series on sega geness

ohh he looks like hes gonna b0ne her woc with out consent and she umps like in The Birth Of A Nation

she lands in water and the dog chaes him to give him the b0ning

roscoe gets to the life preserver and its chaned up witha note ket at courthouse 1 mile easy

they gotta do t asthe bad groups keep stealing it like in the slums where as in Japan thy hae Honor and dignity so nothings chaned down in stors as thy don't steal and are higher evolved and keep the gain out

ocoe and buste geta  rope on the ground probaby to tring up horse thieves as they otta do to car jackers and sumble around with it

they flup a cpin and when they do ta guy too the rope and they run, and tak it

buster jumps off the pier with the rope and pulls roscoe in and it ends with him in the drink

the end

that was petty cool

good acrobatica and movies and skill

nice gags and effect

good production values esp after seeing the 1910s DW Griffith ones doen in a few scenes

this is a later 1s movie but its closer to the 20s

like Digimon looking more like mon colle knighs than dbz

its a good fun rhomp and i enjoyed seeing the skill of these guys

a bit of romance and a good deal of action

glad i saw it

For The Cook 2 i want the hat guy croo to have survived being half eaten by the dog and mae a pact with demons to be heremae with demon parts as fake limbs.  he launches an attack on th city and some people join him as they are sinners and like demons and roscoe and buster team up and bet em on with vaudeville kung fu. also its a 16 bit beat em up on sega genesis , snes, tg16, atari jaguar and gba with 1 player as roscoe and 1 as buster and you have ki moves as its reveale you trained in a shaolin temple to get this skill.