The Last House On The Left Review

 Note; i spell anti left

The Last House On The Left

This is my review on The Last House On The Left from the ditant future year to WW2 Hero Shiro Ishii of 1972(50 years before Robotech II and Siloerny  Green)

Its directed by Wes Craven who did The Serpent and the Rainbow/The People Under the Stairs/Vampire in Brooklyn/Scream/Scream 2/Scream 3-/Red Eye/Scream 4 and is usually a good director

It stars Martin Kove from The Karate Kid/The Karate Kid Part II/The Karate Kid Part III Sensei/The Rockford Files/Charlie's Angels/1978 The Incredible Hulk/Walker, Texas Ranger/Hercules: The Legendary Journeys/V.I.P./Tosh.0, and no one else i saw in anuting else or ain't on back door, aids bag, gender offender, Sodom bottom, frooty booty, beta male, soy boy, banana crammer  Creator hater, queer as a deer with a steer in its rear, hippie vegan stoner peta tree kung fu based on plats that denies evidence Billy The Kid and The Right Honorable John Wiles Biooth survived.

I saw this b4 and it had an impact on things like Go Nagai but candya55es like soviet England hated it cuz they are a buncha wiener cleaners

after logo ad text saying names were changed to protect people a marshall drives by this house in the woods and sez age 17 mari is getying cards from a lot of guys

then title and credits top a chick in the shower behind glass and hr nips in the mirror behind fog

later the teen talks wth her rents and sez her mom wore bras that made her t-ts look big at her age

dad likes violent shows and she sezthey wr suppose to be the love generation of candy a55 hippies smoking chronic andeating poop

so these 2 teen chicks go out like pretty cuteor dirty pair or lina and naga andoke around ad enjoy natuireas a 70s song plays like in Bonnie and Clye

they talk about the leaves changing and 1 girl sez her b00bs grew thi summer so she feels like a woman

then we hear of raepists escaping and on the run in soviet new yor andwe see i thin temlistening to the radio and meets wih a chick or smething, i dont now i wasn't paying attention

after the giood grls get icescream the bad guys are with a chick who won' b0ne til they get more chicks

i tink the good chicks comeb one of the bad guys and wanna get chronic and are offered nose candy for 20$ wich was a lot in the 70s

they go in and the bad guys catch em and min chic mari's rets are readying a b day for her

in the money house1 chick sez she'd scream so the bads pull a knife

the rents mae a cake with Whie icing to show her virgin puriy as a symbolismof her befoulment

the other chick is beat out and i thin b0ned as mari atches like violence Jack oav 1 with Yumi b0ned byRose as Mari watches

then ts day and the baddz leave with the KOed girls in the trunk anf drive off

wow, we're 20 mins in, that felt like nothing

the rnts call and don't know where their gol is but ad thinks shes rebelling and trying to be rown up

theres a number of shots of ducks who are raepists and cannibals so its symbolism

the bads rive t redneck music and f around and chick sez sigmung freud was talking of how everything is a b0ner

the rents call the cops wo thin its nothing as its a more innocent time b4 the news spread fear after being bought by corporations owned by evil groups

the bads try fixing th car and mom tells sherrif she senses someting

the bads open the trunk and 1 chick bites 1 of em and cop leaves saying maris letting off steam

the bads ring em in the woods an a ca rives by he badds car thinking its nothing

the bas say if the girl dont do wat he sez, they'd cut up her homie

the have her p-ss her pants and cuz her friend when she dont at 1st ut relents

this is like that scene in The Ninth Configuration and afer more cr-p, 1 bad guy sez ease up u might ice her

they undress the girl like its a Go Nagai manga as a song plays and  tink in some versions they made m queer out with each other

in the cop staion 1 co wishs he wasn't a cop

1 girl ets dressed snd runs to have he other escape and we getta chase and hides by rocks as 2 bads go by

remaning girl tries to talk with the guy who wanted to not ice em and sez she wants to be his friend and will help him get drugs and wants to go by her place

the cp get a report and go out and the running chic noks over the evil chick with frizzy red hair like an evil ronal McDonald ossibly ewish

she makes it to the road but the bads get her and 1 shanks her in da back and beet on her

the cops car drives to a stop and its outta gas and the bads stab up a chic in da gut with music sounds on each stab then pull out her guts

mari is stoll alive and sez to the uy whos kinda low or brain crippled from drugs u otta be a man and do somerying but he sez wat u do if u me?

mari/mongoliiood lave but the bas et em andtells her they iced her chumeand they drop her chumes ar  y her so she screams

the cops are jerked around bysome teens who stop and drive when they get near and ive the fnger which leas  more damage on the giel not being saved lke spider man an the guy who did ben

the bads cut up and b0ne mari then he walks into the rver and they cap her so she floats in it like Ophelia in hamlet or w/e

they leave her having finished they work and the cops stop a pickup truc driven by an africanized woman wo lets em ride on the roof as theres no room elsewere, whic is a crome now as the giv thinks its unsafe

they fall off and the cr-pmobile wont drive with that much weight

the bads go to a rover and clean off the blood of their victimsas though a baptism in a symbolism of washing off the sin

later he badds come y the mari's fams house and are let in for some reason

1 cuts the plug to the tv an they claim they need a ride to a garage but its closed

they stay the night and are to have bacn and eggs for breaskfast which isn't kosher and shows ho they are sinners in symbolism

in a room they stay the baddz see potoes of mari and its lie beyond belief fact or fiction

they eat dinner here as a wolf in sheeps clothing and ake being civilized but really are demons under the masks like violence ack with secruon b aand a b0ning C

they claim to sell insuranve to clothing cmpanis an the ret-red guy has viet nam flashnavks o wking te giel and sez hes sorry

s el ret-rdeo is sick from stress and barfing and mom i think goes through his bag and finds bloodstained clothes a a 60s song plays

the rents i thin o out in niht  but i thin its day tintd to look dark and finthe friend who was gutted like a cow

hy are un surgical thigs anhave the letarded guy open is mouth and chisle his teeth but its a dream andhe ets up and leaves

dad goes in the baemet and gets his gun as hes an American and nows the cops take 40 mins to get there

1 bad guys i mean geta sup and smokes by the mom and dad gets his rifle like miki makimura's dad in Devilman

the bad guy seems to try to seduce the mom as he's into older women i guess andthey go outside an she se she waned a man like him

also this is 70s color and  a bit gritty but it work sand widescreen

dad rigs traps like the commie did the results in 2020 and puts a wire under te rug, puts water on it and plugs i in

bad with mom has her tie him up as i guess hes into S before M andad puts j-zz in a can i mean white cramon the floor  a ooor

is this where home alone giot it?

mom d something to bad guys weener and its offscreen so we dtn he if hs uncut or missin a bite

dad goes in a room and 1 vaguely ethnic guy fakes being asleep

i think the mo is doing mouth stuff to the guy, yeah she is and she bites ff his w=ng an h screams like a crack smoking ape

the bads wake up and dad has a gun on em and they kill the lights and i think he gets the lesbian

ethnic guy runs and slps on the goo an trip on wite and in a room rights ad who he kickiks his a55and finds the mari i think on te couchethinc y toys with dad and beats on him and moks him

the brain ctippe fie a gun andethnic bad taungts hima n tells him how to fire but he's toof;d to finish him

ethnic bad tells him to eat his gun andhe evangutlaly gdoes offscreen as he's one of thos idiots who'd do what he hears a youtuber sayas a oke so youtube protects these evolutionary rejects to further poison the bloodline

a comes up from the basement and has a chainsaw and the shotgun ethnic bad has isn't loaed

bad locks the door but its cut through and a hick with a knife scares him so he tries to leave

he trie the door but the water and run and p-lug zaps him and he tries usin a table to fight a chainaw

the chick or out and ights mo i think and the hunter has become the hunte

chic umps in the pool and mom slices her throat an cop comes in as dad chainsaws th ethnic bad

they see the place is f'd and the music goes like a ending to an nes or master syslem game and credits show who was who like in Space Balls 1

The end

that was pretty good

nice filming and gritty style

good music and well done acting

well done story

it wasn't as shocking or dark or gritty as i recalled but since i last saw it i watched urotukidji, violence Jack, riki-oh and Genocyber

its not long and feels even less with good flow and no drag or feeling long

the pack of monsters with 1 being a queer chick was used by Violence Jack Evil Town with Section B and the guys with the chick Tom Cat who wants women

i hear they used c0nd0ms with fake blood and sand for the intestines and filmed wherever they could w/o permits and they were new to filming so it had a rawer edge

i thin its a good fiom and while shcking for the 70s, decades later its not so bad

the violence is mosyly offscreen and we never see the man parts

good symbolism and maning and the chainsaw was cool as was the traps

its got an olde timey feel of the 70slike in the heat of the night but that was high end 60s and this is gritty 70s

glad i rewatched it, its pretty well made

For The Last House On The Left 2 I want the fam t be retroactively deputized to get away with chopping up the bad guys and become crook hunters to protect the innocent. Also they got into training and are now bodybuilders and hunt in the woods for escaped cons. But some anti cop malcontents attack and wanna take em out thinking they "murdered" some "innocent" people and the couple brings it to em with home made armor that has blades and weapons in it like a forelimb having a chainsaw hain on it to gind through people and shin bladed shin guards to kick through people. Also its a 16 bit bea em up on Sega Genesis, Snes, TG16, Atari Jaguar and GBA irh 1 player as the man and the other as the wife and you battle in the woods against a swarm of crooks and crook allies after you. Also the game boss is a sasquatch in a cave and as behind it all and controlling the malcontents to weaken society to take it over.